Ask The Expert – Page 6 – Empowering Your Mind

Relationship Issues Reflect Life

August 7, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: How are relationship issues a reflection of other things happening in my life?

Answer: There are many complex issues about relationships. We get into relationships to be shown a mirror of ourselves and our unresolved conflicts. If we’re not treating ourselves well, then our partner probably won’t.

They say that opposites attract, and that’s true many times. When we’ve abandoned parts of ourselves, we attract those parts in our partners.

A woman who loves to be a homemaker may attract a successful man. An analytical person will attract someone very intuitive. If one person is always late, they may attract someone who is always early. The issue is the same – time – but they act on it differently.

And you can look at the challenges in a relationship as if they are metaphors, as well as with anything else, because you are half of the dynamics of it. Don’t focus on the particulars, but become more objective to perceive the broader picture and bigger issue.

For instance, I once had a boyfriend who didn’t call me when he said he would. Although the issue might have been perceived as his not following through on his promises, after the relationship was over, I could see that it was actually a lack of communication. He didn’t tell me details about himself that I needed to know to make informed choices about the relationship.

So it’s difficult to know how your relationship issues are reflecting other issues in your life. You may be too close to it, as I was. Notice what isn’t working for you, and see if it shows up in other areas of your life. There very well may be a pattern of miscommunication, disrespect, being taken advantage of, or something else.

How do I not worry about my goal?

June 30, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: How can I learn not to worry about whether my goal will manifest?

Answer: We’re taught to worry and fret, because that shows we’re concerned. But if you’re able to trust your creative mind and the Universe to manifest what you want, it works. I remember when I was first learning this stuff, that my teacher suggested we start with something that doesn’t matter that much, so we don’t have so much invested in the outcome. He suggested we ask for a parking space close to the entrance of a store or business we’re visiting. Then let it go.

By practicing that way, you can learn how it feels to let go and trust. When I was younger, I did it by asking traffic lights to stay green. Your fear that the outcome won’t be what you want is, as you know, what is manifesting. Your creative mind “thinks” that’s what you want, ergo, you get what you “want,” because that’s what you’re focused on.

Every time you begin to worry about whether your goal will manifest, remind yourself that “My subconscious mind knows what to do and is working to bring this about in the Divine Right way.”

How do I stay focused on my goal?

June 4, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: How do I keep my conscious mind from trying to control how a goal comes to pass, while staying focused on that goal?

Answer: Your question is one many people have. We’re taught to try to control the result. The answer takes a lot of discipline and trust. To keep the desired result in your mind, write it down on a card and read it several times a day. This helps to keep your subconscious focused on what it is you want. Then trust that your subconscious knows how to bring that goal into reality, and remind yourself that it’s working on it.

Take any action toward the goal that you know to take. Follow through on any ideas you may have for it. The more actions you take, the more you’re convincing your subconscious that you really want that goal. Keep affirming that “My creative/subconscious mind knows how to bring this to me, and is doing so now” whenever you think of the goal. That gives the subconscious the power and direction of what to do.

It is the subconscious’ role to figure out how things get done, not the conscious mind’s. The conscious mind’s role is to keep the mind focused on the goal, and follow through on any opportunities. It sounds simple, but it’s not easy for most people to do this.

Should I write a list of desires?

April 30, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: Would it be helpful to write a list of my desires, if so, and how would I use it?

Answer: It’s very helpful to have a list of your main goals, like your top five or ten. I keep an index card of my current goals on display on my desk. I learned about doing this from Napoleon Hill’s book “Think and Grow Rich,” where he describes writing your goals, and reading them at least twice a day. I had a friend who built her business this way.

To increase your faith and confidence, I’d suggest that you write a positive statement on the top or bottom that affirms that the Universe is manifesting them. Something like, “The Universe takes these desires and manifests them, or something better, in the Divine Right way.”

Make sure you read them at least twice a day, in the morning and evening. Or you could carry the paper with you, and read it several times during the day. The more you read them, believing in their manifestation, the quicker they’ll manifest.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Am I lying to subconscious with declarative affirmation?

April 3, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: Shouldn’t a person say “I’m becoming/getting/…” at the beginning of an affirmation, rather than “I am/have…,” because the latter is actually lying to the subconscious?

Answer: An affirmation gives the subconscious instructions on where you want it to go. Like driving a car. When you have your attention down the road, you automatically steer the car in that direction. If you look over to the side and keep your attention there, you automatically begin to steer in the direction of your vision.

An affirmation doesn’t lie to the subconscious, it tells it the results that you expect from it. There’s a classic auto-suggestion that states, “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.” An affirmation can be stated in the present, “I am/have (your goal)” or “I am getting/becoming (your goal),” which tells the subconscious which direction to go.

“I want…” or “I have…” affirmation?

March 17, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: Is it better to write an affirmation or statement of desire as “I want…” or “I have…?”

Answer: Write the statement as if it is happening now (present tense) or has already happened (past tense) (whichever you can accept as an affirmation). The subconscious is very literal, so if you state “I want…” the subconscious will think you want to continue to want it. It will always remain in the future, like a carrot in front of a donkey to keep it moving forward.

If you state, “I have found the perfect car for me,” or “I am being guided to the perfect car for me,” (and believe it) then the subconscious must manifest that. This is one of the most important lessons to learn about writing affirmations.

Using self-hypnosis to eliminate specific thoughts

February 19, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: How do I use self-hypnosis to eliminate specific negative thoughts?

Answer: A person is always hypnotizing themselves with various beliefs and thoughts. For instance, “I’m a klutz” will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Self-hypnosis helps to re-focus the attention onto something that you want.

To eliminate specific negative thoughts, I’d suggest that every time you have that particular thought, say ‘stop’ and imagine a stop sign, then substitute a pleasant thought or positive idea.

Practicing this in self-hypnosis will begin to make the changes, then reinforcing it during the day every time you have those thoughts will help to change them.

Hypnosis isn’t magic, but it can make positive changes fairly quickly, if you’re truly committed and persistent in following through.

Guided Visualization or Affirmations?

February 4, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: What’s the main advantage of self hypnosis and guided visualization over affirmations?

Answer: Affirmations and suggestions are essentially the same thing. They’re both statements designed to change old mental patterns in your subconscious mind. The advantage of self-hypnosis is that you’re in a state that is more receptive to the positive statements you’re affirming.

When you add visualization to self-hypnosis and affirmations, it helps to give the subconscious more information on what you want and helps to make it real for you. The subconscious cannot tell the difference between a strong image and reality.

But the real power behind any re-programming is feeling. If you can FEEL it to be true, the subconscious mind accepts that and creates it. That also is the main reason for visualization. It’s a mental rehearsal that gives the subconscious a pattern to follow in those situations.

Why do old, negative habits return when I’m under pressure?

December 30, 2013 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: Why do old, negative habits return when I’m under pressure?

Answer: It’s natural for old habits, mental and physical, to return when a person has experienced stress or distress. The subconscious tends to use all its resources to deal with the current challenge, and has little energy left for a person’s new habits unless the person is very careful, aware, and disciplined. If you succumb to the old habits, once you realize it, you can re-dedicate yourself to your new, more positive habits.

Instead of wasting energy berating yourself, consider this a time when you’re strengthening your resolve and getting back on track. As a person reestablishes their new behaviors, those strategies tend to become stronger and more powerful.

I consider it more a practice than a relearning. You just forgot to practice what you know when the pressure got too great. We all do this from time to time. But each time we practice, it creates a deeper impression on the subconscious, and becomes easier to remember the next time the lesson comes around.

How do I achieve self-image, prosperity and success?

December 4, 2013 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: I want a better self-image, prosperity, and success, but what do I work on first to achieve these?

Answer: First, a good self-image is the basis of the other two. If you don’t feel like you deserve good, you won’t manifest more prosperity or success. So the first thing I’d focus on is the self-image. I usually tell people to focus on one issue at a time, but since these three items tend to run hand in hand, I think you can work on all three of them at one time.

Write down what makes you feel bad about yourself. Do you feel like you don’t deserve, aren’t enough, aren’t worthwhile? Turn it around and create a positive statement that affirms your worthiness. Work on self-acceptance. And to begin with, I’d state that you deserve prosperity and success in the amount that you want. That would be the first step.

When you start to feel comfortable that you do deserve prosperity and success, then I’d expand the suggestion. State how much prosperity and success that you want. And remember, you don’t have to know how it will happen. That’s what your subconscious mind is for, to work out the details. That’s not to say that you don’t have to take some action, or move in that direction. But you don’t have to worry about the how.

Empowering Your Mind

Mindset, Motivation and Empowerment

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