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Resistance is Futile

Resistance is Futile

Change is going to happen whether you resist it or not. Resistance to change just delays it and exhausts your energy. Learn a better way to respond to change.

Transcript:

Did you ever watch the series, Star Trek: The Next Generation? They had an enemy called the Borg who’s catch phrase was, “Resistance is futile.” It sounds hopeless, but the Borg were finally defeated by the crew of the Starship Enterprise. The Enterprise didn’t so much as resist as figure out how to destroy the Borg. The crew of the Enterprise were proactive. But the Borg’s catch phrase is very true.

It’s normal to resist a change that you’re being driven towards. But if you try to resist or resent change, you could become bitter and angry. Change is going to happen, whether you want it or not. You really don’t want it to drag you kicking and screaming into the future.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist. I’ve helped hundreds of people navigate changes in their lives.

There’s an old saying, “What you resists, persists.” When you resist, you’re pouring energy into opposing  a change. That energy feeds into the change, making its pull stronger and makes the change  harder. Your energy could be used much more productively. Shift your perspective on what you’re resisting.

Consider that maybe the forces of nature are trying to eliminate something you’ve outgrown, or bring something better into your life. Or it could be what you’re resisting is what you should be leaning into and pursuing.

At the very least, be proactive. What do you need to do to deal with what is being forced upon you? You’ll have to be innovative to avoid it, and there will still be change. Accept that change is upon you,  plan for it and make the best of it. When you set your creative mind to finding a way to triumph, instead of resisting, your creative mind will come up with a solution.

If this has been helpful, please like it and subscribe to my channel, so you’ll be notified of my videos as they’re released. Stay focused on improving your life.

 ~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Podcast Interview – Service Without Sacrifice

Podcast Interview – Service Without Sacrifice

Camille Diaz and I were introduced by a mutual acquaintance, with the aim to see if I’d be a good fit for her podcast, Money Heart. Her podcast explores the emotional side of money. Camille is a business coach with The Optimized Zone, who offers courses and private coaching to help business owners streamline their business.

After we decided I’d be a good fit for her podcast, she broached the idea of my wearing a costume for it. I was prepared, as I’d already looked at some of the podcasts. I whipped out the tiara and necklace that I wear to to the Renaissance Faire each year, in costume. She laughed and said she loved to go to Renaissance Festivals in costume, too, and would wear her costume. To see photos of all the looks follow @moneyheartshow on Instagram.

In the podcast, I started out  with my personal story of how I got over involved in community affairs many years ago. My health suffered from stretching myself too thin, and I had to back out of them all to get healthy again. It was so hard to do that, especially when one person resisted. But it was the beginning of my journey to saying, “No,” and I learned valuable lessons from the experience.

We discussed what service actually means. And that when you choose to serve at the expense of your health and well being, there’s nothing left to give to anyone. Unfortunately, women have been trained to set aside their priorities. To serve, they think they have to sacrifice what’s precious to them. In our conversation, we explored why that wasn’t correct.

We agreed that with any service, there needs to be a balance of power and energy. Without that balance of giving and receiving, someone is going to feel uncomfortable. And if someone feels like they have to sacrifice themselves to serve, the issue is generally about something else, like self-esteem or old ideas. Camille asked how we can reprogram those thoughts, and I shared an exercise of how to identify and change the old ideas.

I had a great time talking with Camille. This is a subject we agree is an important one for women to reprocess. It’s time for us to realize that we can serve and have a reasonable exchange that’s beneficial to all concerned.

Watch Service Without Sacrifice.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Guided Meditation to Gain Clarity

Guided Meditation to Gain Clarity

Are you having trouble with an issue that’s holding you back, but you’re unclear as to what the problem really is? For you to be able to overcome the issue, you have to identify what’s really going on. Being able to express how the situation is affecting you is a major step to finding clarity. Explore how the situation is affecting you so you can move forward and find solutions.

Transcript:

Are you having trouble with an issue that’s holding you back, but you’re unclear as to what the problem really is? For you to be able to overcome the issue, you have to identify what’s really going on. Confucius said, “He who cannot describe the problem will never find the solution to that problem.” So being able to express how the situation is affecting you is a major step to finding clarity.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach, and I’d like to lead you through a short meditation to help you gain the clarity you need.

If you’re so inclined, close your eyes. Now think of the area in which you’re feeling uncomfortable, discontented, upset or blocked. You know there’s an issue that’s obstructing you, but you may not know exactly what it is.

Once you can describe what the problem is, you have something solid to handle. With that, you can start to find solutions. So you’re going to explore how the situation is affecting you so you can get clarity on the problem.

Ask yourself, “How is this situation affecting me?” Consider all aspects of how it’s concerning you. How is the issue affecting you mentally? What are you thinking about the problem? What are you believing about what’s going on?

How is the issue affecting you emotionally? Are you frustrated, upset, angry, sad or some other emotion?

How is the situation affecting you physically? How is it keeping you from what you want? Where are you stuck? How is the issue blocking your way forward?

Describe the issue in as great a detail as you can. Define everything about it and how it’s influencing your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, actions and behaviors. What is it costing you?

What do you think is the real issue here? Just allow any impressions to surface. They may filter into your mind now, or later on, when it’s appropriate.

Now, turn your attention from the problem… to what you desire beyond it. Imagine the problem is completely resolved. Imagine you have what you want. As you look back, you know what you needed to do to resolve the issue, to deal successfully with the situation. You may not have this information in this moment, but the knowledge will filter into your conscious mind at the right time.

Ok, open your eyes. What were some of your insights? If you don’t have any right this moment, you’ll have some ideas in the near future.

Allowing yourself to fully acknowledge  and recognize the issue frees you to seek the proper solution or solutions. Putting your attention on the problem releases its hold on you and brings it into the light, where you can deal with it.

To be notified of more Mindset Coaching videos, click the “like” to follow my channel.

Thank you for watching. Stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, The Journey to Finding Clarity.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

A Tip on How to Endure a Rough Day

A Tip on How to Endure a Rough Day

Everyone’s had a rough day, at some point. The challenge is to find a way to get through it with your equilibrium intact. Many years ago, I had one that had me drawing on my inner resources and perspective to make it to the end of the day. Learn the mindset shift I used that can help you  to prevail over a tough day.

Transcript:

Have you ever had a rough day? I mean, who hasn’t? It could be a day that starts with you being late, and goes from bad to worse. Or having communication snafus. But it’s a day that you can’t wait to end.

Many years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I had a tough day at work that seemed to last forever.  I’d like to share the mind shift tactic that got me through it.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist. I motivate people to transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, freedom, and wellbeing. And much of it depends on mindset, which is what I had to use on the rough day I had.

I’d just started working at a picture framing shop that was part of a chain. Customers would come in and pick out the mats and frames they wanted. But instead of leaving the artwork with us to do the work, we cut everything and showed them how to put it all together. That was a challenge all by itself.

The nightmare for me began one Saturday morning. It was pouring, and for some reason, we had more customers come in that morning than we’d had combined in the two weeks prior. The front part of the store, where we helped customers choose their materials, was packed with people.

The work overwhelmed the two of us who were working, so we called in a couple of reinforcements. One of them was the former manager of that shop. She put me to cutting mats, which wasn’t a great idea, as I was still getting used to the equipment.

When my mats didn’t pass her high expectations, she reamed me out in front of the entire store. It wasn’t just a mild rebuke or reprimand, but a full-on raging at me. It felt like it went on forever, but it was probably just a couple of minutes.

You know the cartoon with one person yelling, and the other person is blown back on their heels and their hair streams out behind them? That’s how I felt. Instead of walking out, I kept telling myself, “This too shall pass.”

She gave me the job helping customers choose their mats and frames. I got a lot of sympathetic looks from the people I helped, but it made me more humiliated. I kept telling myself, “This day will end. I’ll eventually be home, eating dinner and watching TV.” The phrase became a mantra for me to keep me going, as people kept coming in and filling the store.

Of course, finally, the day did end. Once the manager left for the day, my original coworker commiserated with me, telling me that the manager had often raged like that. Fortunately, that was the only time I ever encountered that manager.

A couple of months after this episode, the shop was sold and my services no longer required. That was fine with me. It had been a difficult job, with long hours and low pay, and that incident hadn’t improved it.

When you’re having a rough day, remember that it’s temporary. It will pass, and things will get better. Find some concept, an affirmation, or mantra that supports you and helps you to maintain your equilibrium as you slog through the mess.

Visualize it being over, as I did. I even celebrated when another hour would pass. “One more down, only X number left.” You can even break it down into getting through one minute at a time.

Eventually, the day will simply be a memory that will lose its importance. I do still remember that experience many decades later, but mainly for how I got through it.

For more tips and articles on mindset, motivation and empowerment, visit my blog http://www.EmpoweringYourMind.com Thank you for watching. Stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, The Power of Perspective.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Podcast Interview – Mindset, Vision, Focus

Podcast Interview – Mindset, Vision, Focus

Janice Porter and I met in a networking group and shortly thereafter had a Zoom call to get to know each other better. She’s a Relationship Marketing Specialist and an amazing LinkedIn trainer, who gave me some tips on my LinkedIn profile, which I followed. She’s all about relationship building, online and offline, to grow your business and turn your connections into clients and referral partners. Relationships are so important to her that she has a podcast called Relationships Rule.

We hit it off in our call and, as a result, she asked me to be a guest on her podcast, to talk about focus and how it’s so easy to get scattered. It was a delightful conversation, wandering from how she struggles with being scattered to tips on how to stay focused to mindset to how success begins within. We even discussed whether I believe curiosity is innate or not.

We both are very curious people and it can take us both down rabbit holes. I can spend hours exploring an idea. She has a similar challenge. These tangents don’t help us when we’re trying to accomplish something. I gave her a suggestion, which I use, which can make sure our curiosity doesn’t undermine our goals.

We had a meandering conversation, but kept coming back to focus. We explored tactics to keep yourself focused. She also brought up that she didn’t really like to establish vision and goals. I explained why they’re beneficial and how you can create them in a way that will work with the subconscious mind.

As we discussed mindset, we explored how it’s more than positive thinking. It’s much more global than just optimism. We both weren’t so positive when we were younger and now choose to be positive. It is a choice about how to perceive a situation.

I mentioned how television news engages our emotions, which means it sends us into a light state of hypnosis. This can mean you accept what’s being said without analyzing it. I suggested to read news items, as you can be more objective.

We touched on the subject of believing in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, it’s a good bet you’ll sabotage your goals and dreams. She asked what I noticed when someone started to believe in themselves. They immediately change their actions, and start getting better results.

At her request, I gave my last piece of advice.  Focus is a skill you can develop. You can learn how to practice focusing and how to do train yourself to do so. We knew we could have continued our conversation, but unfortunately, our time was limited and we had to end it there.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Where Do You Draw the Line?

Where Do You Draw the Line?

Sometimes, it’s hard to know when you’re being taken advantage of. Maybe you tolerate inappropriate behavior, risk your own well being, and don’t even realize it. How can you recognize when this happens? There are some important cues that can tell you that someone has gone over your line. Once you begin to identify the signals, you can then decide how to handle the situation.

Transcript:

On social media a while back, someone I’ve known for quite some time  took advantage of our connection and regularly needled me. I pretty much ignored it, taking the advice of, “Don’t feed the trolls.” Usually, if someone who trolls you doesn’t get a reaction, they lose interest and leave you alone. They go trolling for people who are more responsive. But when this person escalated the attacks on me, I blocked them.

When the comments were benign, they were a nuisance, but didn’t bother me. This person was just looking for attention. But I drew the line when the comments got malicious. For me, that went way beyond what I would tolerate. The intent was disturbing.

Are there any areas where you’re tolerating inappropriate behavior? I don’t mean just on social media. Maybe, to keep the peace, you’re making concessions that make you uncomfortable or even resentful. For instance, you help someone out, but they expect much more. And you give in because you feel guilty. Or, in business, you cater to a customer who demands more of your time or resources than they’re entitled to. You capitulate because you’re afraid you’ll lose them as a customer.

How do you know when to draw the line? Pay attention to how you’re feeling about the interaction. When you feel agitated, confused, offended, upset, or like I did, disturbed, those are generally signals that someone has crossed a line. That’s when you need to decide what to do to support your well being and peace of mind. You have a right and a responsibility to yourself to take action. It could be just saying, “No,” or “Enough,” and following through on that intention. Or you may have to go further, like I did.

Should I have drawn the line earlier, before the comments escalated? For instance, should I have told them to stop needling me and be civil if they wanted to continue to converse with me? Possibly. But, they already knew what would happen if they went too far. And, knowing this person, I suspect a further warning wouldn’t have worked and the result would have eventually been the same. If a person deliberately chooses to be unpleasant, then there’s no reason for me to give them further  attention.

Draw your lines, set your limits, and by doing do, you show that you respect yourself and your values.

To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, watch my FREE training video, Set Your Course to Success. Register for the video and accompanying action planning guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com

Stay focused.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Why Is Focus Important for Success?

Why Is Focus Important for Success?

Ingafay Faison Cavitt and I met at a virtual networking event. She introduced herself as a Confidence Coach for Women. Since that was one of my specialties in my hypnotherapy practice, we scheduled a video call to get to know one another better. She works with women in direct sales to become the person they were destined to be. At the end of our conversation, she decided that my approach as a focus coach would work well on her podcast.

Being able to focus is vital to being successful in business, so that’s the approach we decided to take. I shared my story of  how, when I focused on one item at a time on a long to-do list, I was finally able to complete items in a short period. Ingafay agreed that doing one thing at a time is more productive.

We discussed how getting distracted can feel rewarding, but you don’t get much done. And it can cause you to seek out more distractions. Oddly enough, one hour of focused time is equivalent to many more hours of distracted time.

I shared 4 steps that anyone can use to develop the skill of focus. One of those steps was to take breaks after a period of concentration to give the mind time to recover. Ingafay asked if a break could be like doing household chores and I said, “Yes.”

At the end of the podcast, she asked me about something I’d mentioned  when we’d had our first conversation. She asked, “Can you talk again about introverts and extroverts?” I explained that introverts and extroverts need different types of stimulation to focus for productivity. Extroverts work best around other people and introverts work best alone. I shared how a friend had tried me to work her way, and I couldn’t. I really enjoyed talking with Ingafay and wished we had more time. We both have the mission to lift women up, support and empower them to have better lives. Women have the power to fulfill their dreams.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart