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Accept Your Introvert or Extrovert Temperament

Accept Your Introvert or Extrovert Temperament

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Coffee cup saying Choose Happy

Some years ago, I had a friend urge me to go write and work on my business in coffee shops. She loved to work around people, and said, “You’ll get so much done!” I unsuccessfully tried to explain to her that I couldn’t concentrate with other people around. Their activity and noise was too distracting. She never understood.

It was the classic difference between an introvert, like me, and an extrovert, like her. An extrovert loves being around people. Extroverts are buoyed up by the energy of people and ride that wave. Introverts get overwhelmed and overstimulated by being around too many people. They might like to be around people for a short time, but then they have to go recharge in solitude. To an extrovert, being isolated would be punishment. For an introvert, it’s nirvana.

The Differences Between Extroverts and Introverts

Extroverts and introverts process information through different parts of the brain. For an introvert, the information has to go through more areas of the brain for them to come to a conclusion. They consider more deeply and thoroughly about a subject before they arrive at a decision.

Extroverts process information as they interact. They’re spontaneous, and like to talk a subject through or think out loud to reach an answer. While extroverts will say the first thing that comes to mind, introverts reflect about a question before they answer.

Being an introvert isn’t synonymous with being shy. I’ve known shy extroverts and outgoing introverts. Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert depends on whether you get energized or depleted around groups of people and how you think. Introverts have rich inner lives, while extroverts need to be stimulated by outer experiences.

Each Type Has Value

Western society prefers and rewards extroverts, who are gregarious and risk takers. Eastern culture values introvert’s traits of reflection and seclusion. The West loves outgoing people and thinks that loners are somehow lacking in social skills. That’s not true, because introverts are much better listeners. But, in western society, introverts are often shamed and pressured to try to be like an extrovert. As a result, this decreases an introvert’s self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence.

No one is fully an extrovert or introvert. It’s not either/or. It’s a spectrum. If you identify a bit with both of them, you may be an ambivert. This is someone who loves to be around people, but does need alone time afterwards to recharge.

Honor Yourself

No matter whether you’re an extrovert, introvert or ambivert, accept your temperament and that it’s right for you. It reflects the individual that you are and what you need for your wellbeing. If you’re an extrovert, find a way to be around people in person or even virtually. However, if you’re an introvert, find your interaction limit, and give yourself permission to have alone time afterwards. 

Recognize how you gain energy, whether it’s being around people, in solitude, or a combination. Find a balance of social stimulation that works for you. Accept that how you think and process information may be different from others.

These traits aren’t learned. You’re born this way. Don’t let anyone shame or pressure you to conform to their idea of who they think you should be. Honor and respect your temperament. You’ll be happier, healthier and be able to utilize your strengths to create a life that suits you.

Affirmation:

The Universe accepts me as I am. I recognize my strengths and use them in a positive way. I also understand that others may be different from me. As I listen to my inner self, it guides me to create balance and joy in my life. I now honor and respect myself and what I need for my wellbeing.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“I cast off the bindings of the past. The thoughts, beliefs and attitudes of the past no longer have a hold on me. I now establish a greater way of being a doing that brings me harmony and joy.”

Your past beliefs served a purpose for you. They were created at a time in your life when they were needed. But you’ve outgrown them, and they no longer serve you. Although it may feel threatening, it’s time to let them go and move forward. The only way to do so is to convince your subconscious by choosing different thoughts, words and actions. It may rebel a little, thinking that you’re wading into dangerous waters. But as you persist, it will realize that it’s safe now to change.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Will I be optimistic in 3 weeks?

Will I be optimistic in 3 weeks?

Question about affirmations

Question: If I say an affirmation for three weeks, will I see results and think only positive thoughts by then?

Answer: If you begin saying a positive affirmation, and say it consistently every day for three weeks, you’ll notice an improvement in your attitude. However, you’ll need to catch each negative thought and idea and change it to a positive for the results to be most effective.

And you won’t have a permanent change in your thoughts after just three weeks. You’ll need to keep up with the affirmation, and transforming your negative thoughts even after that. But the negative thoughts will be fewer and you’ll be more positive overall.

This isn’t something you can do for a few days, weeks or months and then stop doing. It’s a focused change of thinking that must continue. You won’t have to be as diligent later on, because you’ll be more aware of your negative thoughts and automatically change them to positives. Affirmations aren’t magic. You have to use them consistently for them to work.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Are You Expecting Too Little?

Are You Expecting Too Little?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Years ago, I was involved with someone who never kept his promises. Glenn was always late for a date and never called when he said he would. And, in this pre-cell phone era, I couldn’t call him. To reduce my frustration, I decided not to have any expectations of him. Also, I didn’t want to have my beliefs of how I thought he should act interfere in the relationship.

Unfortunately, since there were no consequences for his actions, it just encouraged his callous behavior. One day, when he was again a half-hour late, I’d had enough and I left. Later, we had a “discussion” about it and all of his other broken agreements with me. Faced with either treating me with more respect or having the relationship end, he said he’d live up to his promises.

The Problem with Low Expectations

The idea that prompted my original attitude was that when you have low expectations, then you’re delighted whenever something special comes your way. Trying to have the perfect relationship, best job, or ultimate success can keep you from enjoying the moment. You’re always living in the future, dissatisfied and unhappy in the present.

However, the attitude of,  “Don’t have any expectations. That way you’re not disappointed with what you get,”  means that you never strive to improve your life. You settle for what you have, happy with crumbs that life throws you, and don’t believe it can get any better. And with this attitude, your subconscious will only give you what it already has. It can’t give you anything more because you’re instructing it not to.

Why to Aspire for More

Aspiring for something better, and not reaching the apex, can bring disappointment. And disappointment hurts. After a failure, many people stop trying. They’re afraid to want more, and just try to be grateful for what they have. But then they don’t work hard towards anything, because why strive when they don’t believe they’ll achieve anything?

In that case, unfortunately, life responds according to our low expectations. By not expecting anything better, we don’t work for it. Being satisfied with the status quo, we don’t take any actions to stand up for ourselves. By not seeking to improve our job position, we will never put forth any effort to move up.  

But is giving up and being complacent the way to grow? Isn’t striving part of the learning process? Without moving toward a vision or a goal, then you’re not progressing. Very few people succeed the first, second or even fifth time. You learn something new with each attempt, and it makes you stronger and wiser.

Avoid Having Unrealistic Expectations

Although having unrealistic expectations can undermine the ability to achieve your goals and destroy your happiness, sensible ones can enrich your life. Working toward a realistic goal can build skills, character and get you closer to the life you want.

Wanting to lose 50 pounds in a month would be unrealistic. Deciding to reduce by 5 pounds a month is doable. It may take you awhile to reach your goal weight, but by the time you’ve lost the weight, you’ll have spent months living with your new eating behaviors. This would give you a better chance of maintaining your weight.

Hoping to become manager of your department a month after you first get the job would be unrealistic. However, meeting deadlines and giving more than asked would get you noticed. Before long, you could be asked to lead up a project that would put you on the promotion track.

Balance Your Expectations

When you have expectations, you’re able to gauge whether your goals are progressing properly or not. They allow you to measure whether you’ve met your objectives. If you haven’t, you adjust them and keep going.

As with everything, there are extremes to having expectations. Having too little can get you stuck in a dead end job, unhappy relationship, or stagnant life. If your expectations are too high or unrealistic, you’ll constantly be dissatisfied, unhappy and may eventually give up. However, when you have realistic expectations that require you to work towards them and grow, they’ll enrich your life.

What I wanted from a relationship was more than Glenn could give me. He continued to treat me as a convenience. Although it was difficult for me, I eventually ended the relationship with him. I wanted and expected better treatment and respect. Only by desiring something different, taking action towards it, and expecting that your actions will be successful, will you be able to experience something greater in your life.

Affirmation:

I give myself permission to accept greater abundance and success into my life. I keep my expectations realistic as I work towards my goals. Even if I don’t succeed the first time, I learn from the situation and try again. Only good comes to me as I pursue my dreams.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“When I claim a greater good for myself, I realize I’m not taking that good from anyone else. Everyone has the same ability and connection as I do to receive a better life. Therefore, I release all inner restrictions and open my mind to receive all the best that Life can bestow.”

You deserve greater good. Period. That good is yours no matter what. It doesn’t belong to anyone else. No one else can use it. The only person it can serve is you, and you’re the only person who can deny it. Everyone has as much access to receiving their good as you do. So go ahead and accept what is already yours.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Welcome the Opportunity of Change

Welcome the Opportunity of Change

by Linda-Ann Stewart

There is nothing permanent except change. Heraclitus

“There is nothing permanent except change.” Heraclitus

As humans, we tend to resist change, especially when it’s thrust upon us. We want to stay with the status quo, even when what’s familiar is holding us back and making us uncomfortable. But life is change. You aren’t the same person you were yesterday. Your life is slightly different than it was last year. Sometimes change is gradual and sometimes it comes at you all at once. The Universe is always urging you forward, to expand into a greater awareness.

When change is thrust upon you, your first instinct may be to ignore it and hope for the best. But this only wastes energy. Unfortunately, resistance just delays the inevitable and makes it harder to deal with the issue when it erupts all over your life. If you haven’t prepared to handle the fallout, the consequences can be disastrous. Resisting makes the Cosmic 2″ x 4″ board that metaphorically hits you become a 4″ x 8″ board.

Accept What’s Coming and Adjust

When you’re driving, and see a curve ahead, you adjust your speed and steering ahead of time. For big events in your life, you make plans, like a party, wedding, birth, or retirement. You recognize that each of these occasions requires thought and preparation, or there could be complications. Most people even make a will and take out insurance as protection against unforeseen circumstances.

Not all of change is beneficial. But even if you don’t want the change, don’t put blinders on. Accept that it’s happening. When you shift from fighting against the change to accepting it, you free up your inner resources, creativity and innovation.  You begin to flow with the Universe. William James, philosopher and psychologist, said, “Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” You aren’t giving up or giving into misfortune; you’re recognizing the reality of the situation and addressing it.

Looking Ahead

When change starts to push into your life, pay attention. There will be signals that change is in the offing. You could have a dip in your revenue, a recurring sign that you need to attend to your health, or trusted tactics not working as well as they once did. This isn’t an excuse to overreact, but to start planning ahead for a potential shift.

Stay aware of the currents of life and where they’re taking you. Life leaves clues. Look ahead to where you may be headed, and make plans to avoid a potential crisis. When you’re forward thinking, you’re able to notice difficulties that may be in the offing. The Universe will give you choices, and it’s easier to make a wise decision before, instead of during, you’re in the middle of the situation. Problems generally show up with a hidden opportunity. When you keep your mind open to how you can capitalize on a situation, you’ll find a way to do so.

Be Proactive

Instead of reacting when you’re forced to, be proactive and make plans ahead of time. This gives the Law of Attraction time to act. Anticipate future problems and find ways to turn them to your advantage. This means you meet the issue on your terms, and can triumph over it. Even if the change isn’t as extreme as you expect, you still have exercised your creativity concerning the situation. Being proactive improves your sense of control, empowerment, and reduces your stress.  It can also help you develop a better outlook on life and increase your coping skills.

Change pushes you to grow, to become more resilient, flexible and innovative. You become a better person as you learn to adjust to new situations and circumstances. When you seek out the best of a situation, you may find something much better than you ever expected. Embrace change, prepare for it, and you will thrive.

Affirmation:

Change is the way the Universe urges me to grow. I welcome change, anticipate it and prepare for it to wash through my life. As I accept that I’m able to transform through shifting conditions, I’m Divinely guided to the direction I need to take for my Highest Good. I bless the situation, and know that something wonderful manifests for me. 

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“No matter what the difficulties, there is something within me that knows what to do. I release my challenge to my Higher Mind, and know that I am guided into the right answer. There is a perfect solution to my problem that opens up doors to greater good.”

When you get into trouble, it’s normal to try to figure out for yourself how to get out of it. And sometimes, you can’t. That’s when you need to turn it over to something greater and let It resolve the situation. But that’s really hard. It does have the answer, but trusting that It does is difficult. Be aware of any intuition or nudges that come to you. That’s your still, small voice trying to get your attention.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Book Review – 365 Science Of Mind

Book Review – 365 Science Of Mind

365 Science Of Mind” A Year of Daily Wisdom
from Ernest Holmes

I received this little jewel for Christmas fifteen years ago, and still use it. It’s a wonderful book to start the New Year with. Ernest Holmes founded the philosophy, Religious Science (which is my spiritual foundation), teaching practical spirituality for richer living. The individual readings from this book are from his early Science of Mind magazine daily guides. Each month is dedicated to a specific topic, such as love, faith, renewal, fulfillment and more.

Only when you change your thinking will you begin attracting more good into your life. By starting out the morning with these inspirational ideas and reinforcing them all day long, your consciousness of good will expand. Old mental patterns will begin to change as you persist through the year. Each day has a quote from a spiritual text at the top, a short essay to focus your mind, and then an affirmation about the subject. Dedicating only a few minutes a morning to your daily reading, you can transform your life within a year.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

The Journey to Finding Clarity

The Journey to Finding Clarity

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Clarity Focus Goal

Many decades ago, I was in a relationship that wasn’t working for me. I unsuccessfully tried discussing it with my boyfriend. I even tried to be more of the person he wanted me to be (I was young and naïve, and it was a disaster). I couldn’t put my finger on how or why we were out of sync, but I knew we were.

When we first started dating, I’d told him I wanted us to be equals and partners, and he’d agreed. But, finally, in an argument, I discovered he really wanted a different kind of relationship, in which he had all the power and made all the decisions. And he’d been trying to maneuver me into becoming his ideal partner. Because our expectations were in opposition, we were moving in different directions, and it was pulling us apart.

Does Something Feel Off?

Have you ever been in a situation that wasn’t going the way you wanted, but you didn’t know what was wrong? You may not even realize that there was a problem, but you were uncomfortable with the circumstances?

You could be in the middle of a relationship that’s not working, a job that you don’t like or your business has stalled. Because you’re in the middle of it, you may not be aware that there is an issue. You just know that things don’t seem right and you’re discontented. You could have outgrown where you are, and the Universe is trying to communicate that to you through your discomfort.

Many people in this situation unconsciously start trying different tactics to fix a problem before they even know exactly what’s amiss. They may jump from strategy to strategy, trying different things and not following through on any of them. All this does is create chaos and make things worse.

How to Gain Clarity

If you feel unsettled, you need to get clear on what the issue is before you can resolve the problem. Here are some ways to find that insight. 

Awareness. Before you can solve a problem, you have to admit you have one. I knew I had a problem in that relationship, even if I didn’t know what it was. Sometimes, you try to ignore the issue, hoping it will resolve itself. Sometimes, it will. But most often, you have to acknowledge that something is wrong before you can begin to address it.

Clarity. Once you’ve recognized that something isn’t right, you have to discover the source of the problem. In my relationship, it turned out that we were mismatched and had different goals. Diagnose the issue by describing what the symptoms are. Identify where or what’s keeping you stuck or making you uncomfortable.  

Journaling. To dig deeper into what might be going on, journal about the situation first thing every morning for at least three days. Write for fifteen to twenty minutes. When you write, keep the pen moving, and don’t critique or edit what you’re writing. This keeps your conscious mind at bay and allows vital information to surface from your subconscious mind.

Ask for Guidance. Ask your Higher Self for clarity and guidance in the situation. When you do, you quit trying to control the outcome, and you allow the Universe to reveal insight and understanding to you.

Finding the Solution

Once you’ve identified the problem, you’re on your way to finding the solution. “A problem well stated is a problem half solved,” Charles Kettering said. Your subconscious mind is your ultimate problem solver, but you have to articulate the issue before your creative mind can work on it.

Once you’ve gotten clarity about what’s wrong, your subconscious will start coming up with ideas of what to do. You might be surprised how how quickly answers start appearing. They may not be the outcome you want, but they’ll be the direction you need to go. For instance, my boyfriend and I eventually broke up, but it was best for both of us. Doors will open for a better life for you, like they did for me.

Affirmation:

The Universe knows what’s making me discontented and uncomfortable. I now open my mind to recognize and acknowledge what the issue is. The Universe knows the answer to this problem and reveals it to my mind now. I allow the Universe to guide me to the steps I need to take to resolve the issue for my Highest Good.

Watch the accompanying video, Guided Meditation to Gain Clarity.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.