self-worth » Empowering Your Mind

Guided Meditation for Self-Acceptance

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Feb 152022

Would you like higher self-esteem and self-worth? Accept yourself more. Self-acceptance is important for a sense of well being and for you to be able to live up to your potential and achieve your goals. Accepting yourself is easier said than done. Use this short, guided meditation to embrace yourself, so you treat yourself better and are happier.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart. Wouldn’t you like to accept yourself more? Self-acceptance is one of the components to self-esteem and self-worth. These are important for you to feel comfortable in your own skin, have a sense of well being, and live up to your potential.

Accepting yourself doesn’t mean that you don’t want to improve or make changes. You can recognize your failings and still accept yourself. Self-acceptance just means that you’re acknowledging yourself and that you’re ok in the moment.

The opposite of self-acceptance is self-rejection. This resistance to parts of you generally manifests as self-criticism and self-judgement. Neither of those feel good, do they? And they don’t help they way we think they should. They just make things worse. There’s an old saying, “What you resist, persists,” and it’s true about aspects of yourself you don’t like. The more you resist them, the more they persist.

Learning how to accept yourself is easier said than done. When you’ve criticized yourself for years, it’s hard to turn it around and not judge or reject yourself. I’d like to lead you through a short meditation that will help you begin to embrace yourself.

If you so choose, close your eyes.

Think of some things you like about yourself. These may be characteristics, talents, skills, traits, how you express yourself and other things. They are things that you appreciate about yourself. They make you a unique individual.

Consider your strengths. You’re better at some things than at others. Recognize what it is that you do well.

You’re not perfect. No one is. Everyone has things they do well, and things that they don’t do as well. Everyone has pieces of themselves that they would rather weren’t there. But the totality of you creates the person you are right now.

You’re a constantly growing, learning individual. You will always become a better person, if you so desire. By accepting yourself, as you are now, with all your flaws, means that you have an easier time becoming that better person. When you accept yourself, you can accept others.

So think of one thing you don’t like about yourself, and say to yourself, “I recognize that it’s a part of me.” “I acknowledge that it’s a part of me.” “I accept that it’s a part of me.” If it’s something that can be changed, and you want to, then you set an intention to do so. If it cannot be changed, accept it.

You are a unique and whole individual. The things you like about yourself, your strengths and your flaws make you into the person you are. Accept yourself as you are, right now. Repeat to yourself, “I accept myself.”

Change the things you want to and can. And recognize that if you can’t change them, it’s better for you to accept them. When you do, you’re happier and have a greater sense of well being. You treat yourself and others with more compassion. How can you show yourself more compassion?

Open your eyes.

When you accept yourself, with compassion, you’re embracing your whole self. It allows you to be more authentic. Self-acceptance gives you the motivation, inner resources and empowerment to change habits and achieve your goals.

For more articles and tips on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please visit my blog, EmpoweringYourMind.com

Thank you for watching. How can you accept more of yourself today?

Read the accompanying article The Importance of Self-Acceptance.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Loving Others Begins With Yourself

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Feb 112022

by Linda-Ann Stewart

On Valentine’s Day, we show our love to the significant others’ in our lives; our husbands, partners, friends and family. But what do you do to show love for yourself? What are you doing to take care of yourself, and of your needs? Many of us have been taught to ignore our needs, that we’re selfish if we think of ourselves first. However, we’ve taken this idea too far and don’t think of ourselves at all. Charity and love begin at home, with you.

A person who does everything for everyone else, and nothing for himself/herself will eventually burn out. Ultimately, their needs will be taken care of some way, generally in a way that isn’t enjoyable. The inner self will cry out for attention, beginning with small warnings, such as a cold, tension, anxiety, or feelings of being overwhelmed. But if the inner self is ignored, it will escalate it’s demands by creating more discomfort. Many people experience some sort of health crisis because their inner self needs some consideration. The health issue could be fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, heart disease, or even cancer.

Attend to Your Needs

When you first begin to attend to your needs, you may get resistance from the people in your world. Suddenly, you’re not serving them like you’ve done in the past. They’re being forced to take responsibility for themselves. They may even call you “selfish.” Before you agree with them, evaluate whether they have an agenda for this accusation. Do they want you to do things for them, or fulfill their desires (not their needs, but their desires)? If so, they’re trying to manipulate you to return to your old ways so that they’re more comfortable.

The challenge is to know how to balance self-love with other-love. But self-love must come first. That’s the bottom line. Your needs must be your primary concern, or else you may not be able to do for others. Your loved ones may even have to take care of you. However, once you begin to take care of your needs, you’ll actually have more energy, more life, and more love to give to others because you feel so much better.

Affirmation:

I begin to assess my needs, and know that my needs are more important than someone else’s desires. I take care of my responsibilities, but I also have a responsibility to take care of myself. I give myself permission to attend to my needs, despite any outer resistance. I remember that I’m the most important person in my world. I need to fulfill my needs so that I have more to give to others.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. To achieve a 90-day goal more easily, sign up for her FREE comprehensive Strategic Vision blueprint at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

The Importance of Self-Acceptance

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Feb 042022

by Linda-Ann Stewart

When I was fourteen, I was fitted with braces. At that age, shiny metal covering your teeth severely impacts your self-image. Friends who’d already been fitted with braces did their best to hide them. They refused to smile and kept their mouths closed so no one would see the silver glint.

However, their attempts to hide the braces brought more attention to the fact that they were cursed with this awful dental appliance. Their self-consciousness opened the door for bullies to call them, “metal mouth.” I decided not to try to cover up the fact that I was wearing braces. After they were attached, I smiled and laughed as I normally did. Because I wasn’t embarrassed about them, bullies didn’t get any reaction teasing me, so they left me alone.

But the best response came in my typing class. Cindy sat in front of me, and at the beginning of each class, she’d turn around to chat for a few moments. Six months after I’d begun wearing the braces, as usual, she turned to say hi. She looked startled, and asked,

“When did you get braces?”

“Six months ago,” I replied.

“No, that’s impossible,” she said. “I talk to you every day, and I would have noticed.”

Except that she hadn’t noticed, because I’d accepted them as normal.

People Take Your Lead

If you don’t pay attention to your imperfections, no one else will. They’ll take your lead concerning your assessment of yourself. When you accept yourself as you are, you’re not concerned about how others perceive you. You’re not afraid of their judgements and are able to be more authentic. Because you don’t pay attention to your limitations, they’re not so apparent to other people.

Self-acceptance doesn’t mean that there isn’t room for improvement. I couldn’t wait to get the braces removed and looked forward to that day. Accepting yourself means that you’re not resisting, criticizing or hating a part of yourself, all of which creates a block to improvement. Self-acceptance simply recognizes and acknowledges the reality of what is. From that perspective, you can plan how to make changes, if that’s what’s necessary.

The Opposite of Self-Acceptance

Self-rejection, which is the opposite of self-acceptance, makes you defensive. You’re sensitive about the part of you that you feel is lacking, and concerned that others will attack you over it. Because you expect to be confronted, often that’s what happens, as it did with the bullies and my friends. You might even overcompensate for what you think is a fault, by bringing it to others attention deliberately or accidentally, when it wasn’t necessary.

For instance, you’re interviewing for a job that you have the experience for, but don’t have a degree in the area. You feel insecure about the shortcoming, and your nervousness makes a bad impression on your interviewer. However, if you considered that your experience made up for no degree, your confidence would have influenced the interviewer more positively.

Benefits to Accepting Yourself

There are a lot of personal and subjective benefits for accepting yourself. These would include raising your self-esteem and self-confidence, allowing you to be more authentic in your life, enabling you to feel comfortable with yourself and more.

There are also objective benefits to self-acceptance. All of these benefits are helpful in both your personal and professional life.

You’re more open with others, so you don’t push people away. People are attracted to you and want to get to know you. Your relationships are better and deeper.

You’re able to be more present with other people. Because you’re not concerned about your imperfections, you can listen to the other person and understand what they’re saying. As a result, you have better communication and connection with them.

If others do notice your shortcomings, it doesn’t bother you. Often, they’re just curious and want some background information. And if they’re rude, it’s easier to realize that the issue is with them, not you, so you don’t take it personally.

Practice Self-Acceptance

Everyone has imperfections. Accepting them means you approach situations feeling empowered and have more resources to deal with challenges. Practice self-acceptance and notice how much freer and happier you feel.

I was thrilled to get my braces removed two months earlier than expected. But my main reason to be happy wasn’t because I was rid of the metal. I was ecstatic because I could once again have popcorn, taffy and bubble gum. And you know what? No one mentioned that the braces were gone.

Affirmation:

The Universe accepts me as I am. I now accept myself, with all my imperfections. I feel more comfortable with myself and this communicates to the world around me. With this attitude, I can now change and improve myself. More good flows to me and through me as I open the door to a greater sense of well being.

Watch the accompanying video, Guided Meditation for Self-Acceptance.

The Power Of Self-Acceptance

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Feb 012022

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Woman with outstretched arms — Woman with Arms in the Air — Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

You own a manual within you that contains all the wisdom, understanding and knowledge you need to resolve or heal any undesirable condition in your life. One of the most powerful tools in that manual is self-acceptance. When you accept yourself fully, you begin to release the blocks to your good and your Higher Self. This doesn’t mean that you may not want to choose to change some things about yourself. But you have to acknowledge that something exists, and accept that it is part of you before you can transform it.

I had a client who had been told that no part of her was adequate to anyone in her life. When we began working together, she was afraid I’d be offended by her past and how she’d coped. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before. Because I reassured her that she had acted appropriately and understandably for her situation, she began to realize that she wasn’t a terrible person.

The Universe Accepts You

The Universe accepts you as you are. If you feel rejected or abandoned, realize that those feeling come from past experiences. This is how you feel about yourself, not how the Universe feels about you. However, you’ve believed that you deserved it, and continued to reject or abandon yourself in the present.

As the sessions with my client progressed, she was able to validate her emotions of fear, anger, and sadness as being signals to herself that something detrimental was occurring or had occurred in her life. As she accepted herself, and listened to what her feelings told her, she was able to turn her life around.

When you accept yourself, along with everything you think and feel as being proper, you start to reconnect with your Higher Self. For it is only when by cherishing yourself that you can experience the love of the Divine.

Affirmation

I now accept myself fully, knowing that the Universe accepts me as I am right now. I recognize that my perceptions, my feelings, my ideas are just right for me. I validate myself and give myself permission to be who I am. It is safe to be me. I deserve to be here. Every part of my being is loved and cherished by the Universe. Therefore, I also love and cherish myself.

Walk to Improve Your Wellbeing

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Jan 032022

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Many years ago, I was devastated when a relationship ended. All I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and escape. I knew that taking a walk would improve my mood, but it was an act of will to get myself prepared. As one sock went on, I thought, “Maybe I’ll just go lie down.” Forcing myself to pull the other sock on, I thought, “Maybe I’ll just go watch TV.” Lacing each shoe brought up other excuses not to go. But I persevered, took a deep breath and pushed myself out the door.

Research on depression has shown that exercise and walking is almost as effective as anti-depressants. Brain chemicals called endorphins release during exercise, and they naturally elevate mood. Studies have also shown that people who exercise have higher self-esteem, a greater sense of competence and internal control over events, and sleep better. It’s been said that if there’s a fountain of youth, it’s exercise.

Half an hour later, I was returning home with a quarter mile to go and decided to check my inner self to determine how I was feeling. Although I was still sad, I was amazed to find that I could now plan ahead. I actually looked forward to getting involved with a project waiting for me at home. My mental outlook had improved by over 80 percent. To me, at the time, that was a miracle.

Even if I feel exhausted after work, walking rejuvenates me. That’s because the tiredness is more mental than physical. Whenever I need to ground myself, clear my head, break through a writer’s block, or ruminate on a problem, I know that taking a walk will help all of those things. I sometimes say affirmations as I stroll. It’s as if the exercise starts stagnated energy moving again. Walking jumpstarts my well being on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. So, anytime you’re feeling sad, angry, blocked, or stuck, try taking a walk. I’ll bet you’ll find that it helps you clear the way for the changes you desire.

Affirmation:

My well being is important to me, and I make attending to it a priority. I know that exercise is beneficial on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. Knowing that, I find the time to exercise in the best way for my body. As I walk, deeper levels of my mind are at work finding solutions to whatever challenge I’m facing. If I’m reluctant to take a walk, I remind myself of all the benefits, take control of my own well being, and get my feet moving.

Develop Your Potential to Reach Your Dream

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Nov 302021

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Success means different things to different people. But success can also mean different outcomes depending on the person’s dream. A business person measures their dream of success by income and number of customers. When a beginner marathon runner finally stumbles across the finish line, whether he’s first or last, that’s a win to him. To the person afraid to speak in public, victory is being able to effectively lead a meeting. To others, it’s wealth and acclaim.

In every case, the person had the potential to succeed at their dream. But they had to cultivate and develop the qualities that would lead them to the result they wanted. It didn’t happen by chance. They had to become a person who could reach their vision. That meant they had to let go of some characteristics, habits and ideas, and acquire others.

So where in your life do you need to change? Who do you need to become to be successful and accomplish your dream? Here are five areas to address.

1. What characteristics do you need to develop within yourself?

The characteristics you need to develop are going to be individualized for you and customized for your dream. You won’t want ones that help you climb the Matterhorn if marketing your business is your goal. So consider your dream. Then take stock and assess what qualities you need to develop.

Once you decide which traits are essential for you to have, establish a way to learn and practice them. Choose one from your list to cultivate and start small, with baby steps. But be consistent. Exercise the attribute as much as you can. In doing so, you make it a habit. Then you can start working on the next one.

2. What do you need to identify with?

Your identity affects what you believe and how you act. If you identify with being a business person, you’re going to act differently than someone who feels they’re a teacher. It molds the way you perceive yourself and what you believe about yourself. In some ways, it forms your self-image.

Your identity isn’t concrete. It’s shifting all the time, depending on your roles and responsibilities. And you can influence it by what you choose to believe about yourself. Someone who wants to learn to draw will begin to connect with the idea of being an artist. They then start acting in a way that supports their new sense of identity by associating with artists, going to art shows and being more creative.

3. What do you need to believe to achieve your dream?

If you believe life is out to get you and that you’re a loser, you’re not going to be able to make your dream a reality. Your attitude of failure will sabotage your efforts and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you believe inspires and affects your actions, and a belief is simply an opinion. So you can choose to change your belief.

Discover what ideas will support your dream. Imagine that you’ve already reached it. As you explore how it feels to live your dream, what beliefs did you have to have to get there? You’ll identify beliefs about life, yourself and your capabilities that you can begin to change. One way to shift them is through positive self-talk.

4. What skills, knowledge or habits do you need to acquire?

When I wanted to use a computer and get onto the World Wide Web, I had to learn how to navigate the machine’s commands and surf the internet. They were new skills, but essential for me to reach my goal.

Once you recognize the necessary extra information or behaviors you need, figure out how to acquire them. You may need to read specific books, take courses, change your choices or your routine. As you take these steps, others may become apparent to you. Follow them through. Just don’t get stuck in the preparation stage. At some point, you need to actually take the leap into action.

5. What are you willing to do to achieve your dream?

This is probably the most important question. How strongly do you want your dream? Just day dreaming about it won’t bring it into reality. Only by committing to it will you be able to make it yours. For instance, if you want a higher paying job, are you willing to move to a new location, work a different shift or take on more responsibility? If there’s any part of you holding back, it will undermine you.

As you determine what your dream requires of you, do an internal inventory to make sure you’re ready. To accept something new in your life, you’ll have to sacrifice something old. Your life will be different. Are you prepared for it? You’ll also have to put physical, emotional and mental energy forth to bring your dream into reality. If your dream isn’t important enough to you to put in the needed effort, it’s better to know now. Take stock and decide what you’re willing to do.

As Henry Ford said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” If what you’re doing now isn’t bringing you the result you want, you need to change. Only by doing something different will you get results that are closer to what you want. And you can’t just change your actions. You also need to be someone different. Inner change is necessary for you to become the person who can achieve and live your dream.

Affirmation:

If I can conceive of my dream, then I can achieve it. I have all the support of the Universe in my endeavor. I am willing to do whatever I need to so that I create a new life. It’s safe for me to reach for my dream, and to make the changes necessary to accomplish it. As I put forth the inner and outer effort, I am Divinely guided in my quest.

Book Review: Bex Beltran’s Journals

What Do You Stand For?

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Jul 082021

by Linda-Ann Stewart

People are attracted to you, personally and professionally, based on your behavior and what you stand for. In business, many times, this is called your brand. But in your personal life, people also decide whether you’re trustworthy, someone they want to spend time with or be around, based on this same standard. And all of this is grounded in your values, the beliefs that promote your actions and attitudes.

Positive and Negative Values

Some values are positive, such as integrity, determination, and compassion. But not all values are constructive. I’ve known people who were proud of personal values such as, manipulation, deception, and carrying a grudge. Negative values like these are based on fear and insecurity. They’re defensive and developed to react to external circumstances. Positive values are internally motivated and proactive. They allow you to be intentional and choose your actions deliberately.

You can reframe a negative value to be more beneficial. For instance, a negative value, like being crafty or cunning, often means you’re scheming or dishonest. This value was probably created to deal with situations where you were concerned someone would take advantage of you. However, reframing that value to one of being clever or innovative allows you to approach situations from a stronger and more resourceful position.

Why Knowing Your Values Is Important

When you know what your values are, you’re able to make decisions based on them that support those principles. Living according to your values increases your self-esteem, self-respect, and sense of authenticity. Your image and perception of yourself will improve, as will your self-confidence. You’ll be known by what you stand for, and people who appreciate what you value will be attracted to you. What values are most important to you? Those are the ones that show the world who you are.

Affirmation:

My values are important to me and I choose to live by my values. They are beliefs and ideas that put me in alignment with my deepest self and the Universe. I feel at peace with myself when I stand by them, even when it’s inconvenient. I support and empower myself when I act on them, and the Universe approves of me, as well.

Watch the accompanying video, Act on Your Values to Improve Your Well Being.

How to Demonstrate Self-Love

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Feb 042021

by Linda-Ann Stewart

I have always loved the 1927 poem by Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, and have done my best to live by its wisdom. I especially love the paragraph, “Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.” To me, this means treating myself kindly, loving myself and taking care of my needs, because I have worth by just being here.

Whenever I am tempted into some decision or behavior that isn’t for my well being, I pause. I ask myself questions like the following:

Is it going to contribute to my self-respect or erode it?
Do I need it or want it?
Does the behavior or decision support my goals?
Will the temptation be worth it, or will I regret it later on?

It’s not easy, but most of the time, I choose to avoid the lure of temptation and support my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs. (Full disclosure: I sometimes stay up too late at night watching a television program and regret it in the morning.)

Needs vs. Wants

Are you treating yourself well and addressing what you need for health and well being? Many people confuse taking care of their needs with indulging in what they want. Your wants may be old habits or ways of reacting. For instance, there’s a part of you that wants to eat that entire bag of chocolate candy, even though it’s bad for your health. The chocolate isn’t something you need, it’s something you want. Giving into a chocolate binge is a short term tactic to satisfy a craving. The gratification lasts for only for a few minutes, and isn’t worth the risk of weight gain, cavities or self-reproach afterwards.

Instead, healthy eating habits are long term strategies to treat yourself kindly. You show yourself love by eating fruits, vegetables, protein and getting enough exercise. These are behaviors that are necessary for a healthy and happy life. They build self-respect and self-esteem. With self-love, you take actions that may make you uncomfortable, but you know will eventually bring you what you ultimately need and desire.

Your Relationships Improve

When you show up for your well being, you demonstrate that you value yourself. Your relationship with yourself improves because you think better of who you are. This attitude translates to your relationships with other people. Because you have self-love, you love others more deeply and have more to give to them.

As you treat yourself with care, you attract others who also treat you that way. If they don’t respect you, your sense of self-worth causes you to recognize they don’t belong in your orbit. This realization includes friends, clients and customers. Set boundaries and take actions to appropriately protect yourself against those who can’t appreciate you the way you deserve.

Forgiving Yourself

Treating yourself kindly also means to forgive yourself for any mistakes you might have made. They were simply learning exercises. Mistakes are how we learn and grow. But all too often, we chastise ourselves for infractions for far longer than we should. This can create a cycle of self-abuse that drags you down and keeps you stuck in the past. Systemic self-criticism also leads to other negative decisions that shred your love of yourself.

Instead, once you learn the message a mistake has for you, any guilt from it has no further purpose. You don’t have to castigate yourself after you’ve made amends and set an intention not to repeat the error. Be gentle with yourself. Accept that you’re human and grow from the experience.

Demonstrate Your Love of Yourself

Self-love isn’t just a warm feeling about yourself. It also includes “a wholesome discipline,” as the poem says. When you demonstrate caring for yourself with actions, you prove how much you appreciate yourself. Treating yourself in a kind, gentle and loving way, and one that supports your worth, allows you to thrive and to fulfill your potential.

Affirmation:

The Universe recognizes my worth, because It put me here. I now accept my value and treat myself with respect. If I’ve made a mistake, I learn from it, forgive myself and move on. I attend to my needs, and support my health and well being. When I love myself, it translates into better decisions and actions.

Watch the accompanying video, Guided Meditation to Encourage Positive Actions.

Desiderata

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Feb 032021

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

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