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What Are You Expecting?

What Are You Expecting?

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by Linda-Ann Stewart

“People only see what they are prepared to see.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Imagine you’re at a networking meeting where you don’t know anyone. You feel out of place and just a little anxious. A nicely dressed woman walks in your direction. Uneasy, you prepare to introduce yourself and smile at her. But she never makes eye contact, walks right by and you feel snubbed.

You filtered her actions through your beliefs and expectations. Because you already felt insecure, you believed she deliberately ignored you. The truth is that she probably was focused on someone across the room that she knew and never even noticed you. But you interpreted her actions to be what you expected, which was to be ignored, rather than she just wasn’t aware of you.

We See What We Expect

As we go through life, it’s human nature to notice things that reinforce what we already believe. For example, a salesperson gets uncomfortable with a potential client being quiet during a sales conversation. The salesperson thinks the client has no interest in the product, when the client is actually trying to figure out how they can pay for the item.

Negative people seek out any information that downplays optimism being beneficial so they can validate being pessimistic. A self-confident, outgoing person expects people to like them. They believe that everyone they meet is a potential friend, and because of their attitude, most people respond to their warmth.

Expectations Shape Results

Everything in your life is filtered through what you expect and believe. Anything that disputes or questions your perceptions is demeaned or dismissed. When you have so narrow a focus, you won’t notice other ideas or opportunities that present themselves to you. Possibilities may be all around you, but since you’re not expecting them, you overlook them. And sometimes, if they’re presented to you, you rebuff them because they don’t fit into the picture you have in your mind.  

If your beliefs and expectations are the lens through which you view life, then that outlook is where your focus is. Wherever you put your attention affects your actions. For instance, when you expect an idea or project to be rejected, you don’t put a lot of effort into it. So your expectations become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because your decisions, behaviors and actions influenced the outcome.

Change Your Filter

The way to see things differently, so your results improve, is to change the filter through which you view conditions. When you have a disappointing encounter, ask yourself the following questions.

  • What did you expect from it?
  • Was your expectation unrealistic?
  • Did you misread the situation?
  • Did your actions or inactions contribute to the outcome?
  • Were you open and accepting of other options?
  • What can you do to improve the situation?            
  • How can you change your beliefs to be more aware of opportunities?

These questions will begin to break through your mental assumptions, allowing you to consider other interpretations. As Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Change your expectations, and you’ll start seeing a whole new world of possibilities.

Affirmation:

I release limiting beliefs and expectations. They come from the past and no longer support the life I want. I now look at situations from a more objective viewpoint. Possibilities abound in my life, and I recognize opportunities when they come my way. I attract the best that Life has to offer.

Watch the complementary video, Check Your Preconceptions at the Door.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Are You Expecting Too Little?

Are You Expecting Too Little?

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by Linda-Ann Stewart

Years ago, I was involved with someone who never kept his promises. Glenn was always late for a date and never called when he said he would. And, in this pre-cell phone era, I couldn’t call him. To reduce my frustration, I decided not to have any expectations of him. Also, I didn’t want to have my beliefs of how I thought he should act interfere in the relationship.

Unfortunately, since there were no consequences for his actions, it just encouraged his callous behavior. One day, when he was again a half-hour late, I’d had enough and I left. Later, we had a “discussion” about it and all of his other broken agreements with me. Faced with either treating me with more respect or having the relationship end, he said he’d live up to his promises.

The Problem with Low Expectations

The idea that prompted my original attitude was that when you have low expectations, then you’re delighted whenever something special comes your way. Trying to have the perfect relationship, best job, or ultimate success can keep you from enjoying the moment. You’re always living in the future, dissatisfied and unhappy in the present.

However, the attitude of,  “Don’t have any expectations. That way you’re not disappointed with what you get,”  means that you never strive to improve your life. You settle for what you have, happy with crumbs that life throws you, and don’t believe it can get any better. And with this attitude, your subconscious will only give you what it already has. It can’t give you anything more because you’re instructing it not to.

Why to Aspire for More

Aspiring for something better, and not reaching the apex, can bring disappointment. And disappointment hurts. After a failure, many people stop trying. They’re afraid to want more, and just try to be grateful for what they have. But then they don’t work hard towards anything, because why strive when they don’t believe they’ll achieve anything?

In that case, unfortunately, life responds according to our low expectations. By not expecting anything better, we don’t work for it. Being satisfied with the status quo, we don’t take any actions to stand up for ourselves. By not seeking to improve our job position, we will never put forth any effort to move up.  

But is giving up and being complacent the way to grow? Isn’t striving part of the learning process? Without moving toward a vision or a goal, then you’re not progressing. Very few people succeed the first, second or even fifth time. You learn something new with each attempt, and it makes you stronger and wiser.

Avoid Having Unrealistic Expectations

Although having unrealistic expectations can undermine the ability to achieve your goals and destroy your happiness, sensible ones can enrich your life. Working toward a realistic goal can build skills, character and get you closer to the life you want.

Wanting to lose 50 pounds in a month would be unrealistic. Deciding to reduce by 5 pounds a month is doable. It may take you awhile to reach your goal weight, but by the time you’ve lost the weight, you’ll have spent months living with your new eating behaviors. This would give you a better chance of maintaining your weight.

Hoping to become manager of your department a month after you first get the job would be unrealistic. However, meeting deadlines and giving more than asked would get you noticed. Before long, you could be asked to lead up a project that would put you on the promotion track.

Balance Your Expectations

When you have expectations, you’re able to gauge whether your goals are progressing properly or not. They allow you to measure whether you’ve met your objectives. If you haven’t, you adjust them and keep going.

As with everything, there are extremes to having expectations. Having too little can get you stuck in a dead end job, unhappy relationship, or stagnant life. If your expectations are too high or unrealistic, you’ll constantly be dissatisfied, unhappy and may eventually give up. However, when you have realistic expectations that require you to work towards them and grow, they’ll enrich your life.

What I wanted from a relationship was more than Glenn could give me. He continued to treat me as a convenience. Although it was difficult for me, I eventually ended the relationship with him. I wanted and expected better treatment and respect. Only by desiring something different, taking action towards it, and expecting that your actions will be successful, will you be able to experience something greater in your life.

Affirmation:

I give myself permission to accept greater abundance and success into my life. I keep my expectations realistic as I work towards my goals. Even if I don’t succeed the first time, I learn from the situation and try again. Only good comes to me as I pursue my dreams.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“I trust that change is a natural part of life and progress. Change impels me to expand and  evolve into a greater experience of Life. I welcome change with a positive expectancy of a better day.”

It’s a natural human response to resist change. Even if you’re uncomfortable with the way things are, most people don’t want to make that scary step to the unknown. They don’t know what change will look like. But change is natural, and must happen for us to grow and evolve. By embracing change, and affirming that it will be positive, you instruct your subconscious mind to find the way to make it happen.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

How You Improve Your Life by Being Mindful

How You Improve Your Life by Being Mindful

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Mindfully smelling a flower

Several years ago, I’d arranged to meet a friend for lunch. She visited our area infrequently on business, and when she did, we tried to get together to catch up. The week she was in the area, I had a full schedule of clients. But I’d set aside over an hour to spend with her and looked forward to our conversation.

Shortly after she arrived, she got a call on her cell phone from another friend. Instead of telling the person she’d call them back, she chatted with them for most of the hour. She ended the call shortly before I had to get back to my office. Once she realized that she’d wasted our time together, she was contrite. Disappointed that I had to leave, she tried to convince me to stay. I couldn’t reschedule my clients on such short notice, and had to leave.

Instead of being in the present, she’d automatically answered the phone, and remained on the call without considering the consequences. Have you ever done that, or had it done to you? How often are you absent in the moment, simply reacting or taking an action without thinking it through?

Mindfulness vs. Habits

It’s been estimated that 95% of the time we act out of habit, like my friend did. Her phone rang; she answered it on autopilot, and stayed on the call. Instead of being mindful, she was mindless in that moment. Habits are useful. They can help our minds problem solve and assess information. But they’re not helpful when they take over your decision making process.

Situations like this crop up all the time. Instead of working on your project, you answer each call, text or email as it comes in. The notification triggers you to deal with the immediate distraction, rather than staying focused on your task, which is more important. Or you accept that piece of cake you’re offered without considering your diet. Paying attention to what you’re doing, and want to be doing, helps you accomplish more of your priorities.

Benefits of Mindfulness

You can’t be mindful all the time. Letting your mind wander occasionally opens you to creativity and innovation. But to fulfill your potential, there needs to be a balance between dreaming and being consciously aware of what you’re doing and thinking.

Choosing to be more mentally present in your life has numerous benefits. Your relationships improve, you make fewer mistakes, are less stressed, make better decisions, have more constructive habits, improved communication, reach goals more quickly, and are more efficient, effective and productive.

Practice Being Present

To use mindfulness to improve your life, practice the following steps:

  1. Be in the present. Let go of the past, and ignore the future for a while. You can address the future a bit later. For the moment, pay attention to what’s going on right now. Who are you with, and what are they saying? What do you need to be doing? This will allow you to be more effective in your life.
  2. Accept what is. We all have expectations of how we want life to be. But that attitude is counter-productive. Instead of resisting reality, wanting a situation to be different and resenting that it’s not that way, accept the facts. Only then can you begin to rationally deal with the situation and find a better outcome.
  3. Respond intentionally. It’s natural to want to react when you’re stressed and lash out when you’re upset. But it will only cause more harm. Don’t let stress trigger you into going on autopilot or let anger control you. When you’re distressed, be aware of your thoughts and feelings about what’s going on. Whether you’re stressed or angry, when you have to choose a course of action, consider your options and and decide the best way to respond.
  4. Focus on your steps. It’s important to plan for the future, but also important to focus on the current steps you need to take to get there. Keep in mind why your goal is important to you. But instead of being overwhelmed by how far you have to go to achieve your goal, just work on the next step.

You can only impact this moment. The past is over, and the future is yet to be. When you are mindful about the present, then you’re making wise decisions and taking actions that will bring you a much better today and tomorrow.

Affirmation:

I practice being present in my life. The Universe guides and directs my attention and actions. When I accept the reality of the moment, I can decide how to handle it for my Highest Good. I choose my responses wisely, by consciously considering my options and taking action on the one that is best for the situation. Each moment builds on the one before, and by being mindful, I create a wonderful future.

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Live in Expectancy of the Best

Live in Expectancy of the Best

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Elation

Whether positive or negative, your attitude impacts your outcome. Your mindset affects how you filter the world around you, and as a result, determines how you respond to situations. When you expect the worst, your behavior makes that belief a self-fulfilling prophecy. Expecting the best can do the same. And isn’t that a better way to live?

If you expect the worst, you’re braced against that possibility. Your mind rehearses how to deal with a crisis, what you’re going to do in the worst case scenario, and how you might avoid it. This means that all your mental resources are tied up with dealing with difficult situations that might never happen. You aren’t left with many mental resources for moving forward. Because you’re focused on the negative, you’re instructing the Law of Attraction to bring it to you.

The Universe wants the best for you. Therefore / However, if you expect the best, then your subconscious mind searches for opportunities to fulfill that belief. Your subconscious mind is a problem solver. When you set your intention to derive the best from a situation, then your subconscious mind seeks opportunities to create that reality for you. You’re creating the mold for your subconscious mind and the Law of Attraction to fill.

How to Create the Best Result

Life brings all sorts of experiences your way, positive and negative. You can always improve your outcomes through altering your perspective. There will be times when you’re working on a goal, or “shift happens” and your results don’t live up to your hopes. When that’s the case, use these tactics to extract the best possible outcome. Your attitude communicates your intention to the Universe, your subconscious mind, and the Law of Attraction, which responds accordingly.

Be aware of the negative, but don’t focus on it. This doesn’t mean that you ignore or deny the possibility for difficulties. You just don’t focus on them, or rehearse them. In “Psycho-Cybernetics,” author Maxwell Maltz uses the analogy of golf to be aware of negatives. A golfer needs to recognize where the sand and water traps are, but not dwell on them. Instead, the golfer puts their attention on where they want the ball to land. Notice the negatives, and make preparations to avoid them. Have a “Plan B,” if necessary. Then shift your attention to what you want to create and put your energy there. This puts you in the flow of the Universe.

Flip your attitude. If something untoward does happen, instead of giving up or getting discouraged, flip it to be more positive. This way you take charge of your response and it gives you more power to deal with the situation. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” or, “How can I make something beneficial out of this?” This instructs your subconscious mind to find a way to extract something good from a disappointing circumstance. You open the way for the Universe to develop a new direction for you.  

Don’t take it personally. When someone hurts or offends you, instead of taking it personally, realize it’s probably not about you. They have their own issues that they’re taking out on you. It’s likely they’re defending themselves against a perceived threat, which is probably from their past. It doesn’t mean you excuse their behavior, but you can seek to understand their motives. Ask yourself, “What’s their agenda?” or “What are they trying to achieve?” That can give you valuable information on how to positively respond to the situation.

Achieving a goal. When you’re working on a goal, don’t just focus on the end result. This gives your subconscious mind a direction to follow, which helps you take steps towards it. For an even greater outcome, open your mind to the possibility of something even better happening than what you can currently conceive of. The Universe has greater plans for you than you know. Not only does this give your subconscious mind permission to find other paths to accomplish your goal, but it instructs your inner mind to “achieve this or something better.”

Living in the Possibilities

When you live in the possibility of your best case scenario occurring, you instruct your subconscious mind to put its resources to work to that end. You may not have the information to imagine what the best outcome could be. You can only provide your subconscious mind the image of what you can consciously conceive of at the present time.

There may be a greater outcome than you can imagine. Opening your mind to the possibility of something better means that your subconscious can override outdated, limiting beliefs. And when you choose to live in an attitude of expecting the best from every situation, you create a life of joy, abundance and success.

AFFIRMATION:

The Universe wants the best for me. Therefore, I choose to expect the best out of every situation. If there are challenges, I shift my attention to what benefit can come to me as a result. When I decide on a goal or outcome, I set the intention of, “This or something better.” Only good comes to me from every circumstance.

Watch the accompanying video, How to Achieve Your Goal More Easily.

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Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight“Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.” – Mahatma Gandhi

This is what’s called the “self-fulfilling prophecy.” You tend to live up to your own expectations and beliefs about what you can and can’t do. If you think you can’t succeed, then the subconscious will make sure to verify that opinion. However, if you believe you can succeed, despite the odds, then everything you need will appear in your life.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Trending Articles of the Week

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8 After-Work Meditations To Do If You’re Stressed
According to surveys, people in the U.S. are more stressed than people in other countries. And work is one of the biggest causes of it. Experts and research shows that meditation can help you to destress and wind down after a rough day of work. These meditations take between 10-20 minutes after your day and give you a better quality of life in your evening.

Tips to Resist Temptation
If you give into temptation frequently, you’ve made a habit of giving into it. That makes it more difficult to resist because it’s become a reward, of sorts. But you can train your mind, and your brain, to say, “No.” Use the tips on how to retrain yourself, but also how to take control over temptation.

10 Quick Questions that Will Change the Way You Think Today
How do you talk to yourself? Do you belittle or encourage yourself. The way you talk to yourself is going to influence your decisions and actions. One way to improve your self-talk is to ask yourself the right questions, because they will lead you to greater choices.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight“Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon… must inevitably come to pass!” – Paul J. Meyer

This contains all the instructions you need to be a success. Visualize your goal in detail and feel it happening. Desire it so much that you’ll make whatever changes you need to. Believe that you can have it and that you deserve it. And then take the actions necessary to make it manifest. When you establish these elements in your life, and get in motion, you’ll be Divinely guided to your destination.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

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Trending Articles of the Week

Sunset Crater plant How to Train Your Brain for Positive Thinking
Most people don’t need to reprogram anything; they just need to program for the first time. You have patterns and habits that have been formed when you were younger and didn’t know any better. Now, you act on these automatically. But now, you’re more mature and can make different decisions. You can choose your thoughts, and by doing this for 30 days, you can change your life. Read the article and watch the video that describes how to do this.

Here’s How to Know (Within Seconds) If Other People Trust and Like You, According to Science
Are you making a great first impression? Science says you can tell if you are and what to do if you aren’t. If you think people are going to like you, they usually will. There are six nonverbal signs to show if you’ve developed a rapport with the other person. Pay attention to what you’re signaling to them and pick upon their signals. You have a great deal of control in creating a good impression.

A 5 Step Guide to Overcome Distractions
Everyday distractions detour you from getting your priorities done. And with social media and the internet, distractions abound. But if you want to make progress, achieve your goals and be more successful, learn to fight the temptation. Here are tips on how to become aware of distractions when they arise and how to get more focused on what’s important to you.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 23:7

In this case, the heart means your subconscious, creative mind. Whatever you believe and expect, deep down, is what you’ll experience. These are the beliefs that may not agree with your conscious choices, but are what you truly think. When you have a strong conviction that you have to struggle and life is against you, then that’s the life you’ll have. However, when you believe strongly that things will turn out for the best, then your creative mind will find a way to bring that about.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart