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Complaining: The Good, Bad, and the Ugly

Complaining: The Good, Bad, and the Ugly

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Thoughts

In January, Cookie was vacationing in Miami Beach. She sat on a bench while she waited for her daughter to complete a purchase. A couple of well-dressed elderly ladies with shopping bags sat beside her. They began complaining about the weather (which was lovely), the crowds (light), the prices (everything was on sale), and so forth. Cookie was put off by their negativity until they swiveled and flashed big smiles at her. She realized that they’d simply been playing a social game with each other to connect.

Complaining: The Good

Complaining has a long history and can have some benefits. For instance, taking a break at the water cooler and bemoaning the new regulations can be validating. It lets you know that everyone’s in the same boat and creates camaraderie. When Sally grumbles about how much work she has, it’s a way of getting attention. She does this to let people know that she’s overwhelmed or to get appreciation.

Or Jacquie grouses to her best friend about her husband’s untidy work bench, knowing that he won’t change it. But venting about it to someone she trusts saves conflict in her marriage. Jeff complained that the photographic printer paper he ordered was wrinkled. The vendor sent him a coupon that was worth more than the paper.

Social interaction, connection, acknowledgement, release, finding solutions are beneficial uses of complaining. They are time or situation limited and serve a purpose. Also, there’s a difference between complaining, identifying a problem and observation. Noticing that a light has burned out and asking it to be replaced isn’t a complaint. Or saying that it’s raining and you got wet walking in from your car is simply a statement of fact.

Complaining: The Bad

However, when complaining descends to a gripe-fest, then it can become counterproductive. Even a positive person can get sucked into one of these. For example, Josie attended a luncheon, and everyone started finding fault about something in their lives. It began innocently, with one grumbling about her mother-in-law, another about her own mother, and then it snowballed into a competition.

Each person tried to upstage the other in how bad things were in their lives. No one won and everyone felt dissatisfied with their lives when it was over. They didn’t want to repeat the experience so avoided the next lunch. This is when complaining starts becoming destructive. Most people are repelled by this kind of negativity. It feeds into a sense of helplessness and victimhood and serves no purpose.

It also triggers the stress response. The mind perceives the situation as a threat and signals the body to prepare for danger. The body then wastes energy braced for a problem that doesn’t exist. Not only is this unhealthy, but it shuts off the mind’s ability to find any solutions. Creativity, innovation and resourcefulness close down as the mind just tries to make sure the body survives.

Complaining: The Ugly

And then there’s Carrie, who’s a serial complainer. This is the most toxic kind of complaining. She calls a friend to whine about everything from the weather to how her mother told her to get a job. When she runs out of grievances, she starts over and goes through her litany four more times before she hangs up. She rejects any suggested solutions, and refuses to shift her attention to something else. Her friend feels like she’s been run over by a truck by the time the call ends. Carrie is firmly entrenched in her victimhood and doesn’t want to give it up.

Even if you aren’t a habitual complainer, like Carrie, you may gripe more than is best for you. When you focus on the problem, you won’t be able to access your ability to find a solution. All you’re doing is reinforcing the problem, and perpetuating it. Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” You’ll have to shift your attention to be open to solutions before you’ll find them.

How to Change Your Attitude

Learn to identify what kind of complaining you’re indulging in, the good, bad or ugly. Become aware of what your purpose is for complaining. Do you want to connect with others, gain acknowledgement, find a solution, or something else? Is the result going to be empowering and constructive? If so, decide how you can best grumble and then move on.

However, if you just want to grouse because you’re dissatisfied with your life, it won’t bring you anything better. You’ll dig yourself a deeper hole and find more to carp about. In this case, it would be a better choice to refrain from complaining. Constructive complaining, or avoiding it completely, is more likely to get you what you want and offer more options to make positive changes in your life.

Affirmation:

Complaining focuses on the negative. When it can help remedy a situation, it can be constructive. I now become conscious of when I complain, and recognize my intention in doing so. When it isn’t constructive, I choose to let it go and focus on the positive. This is more empowering for me.  

Watch the accompanying video, Take a Break from Complaining.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

The Power of Goodwill

The Power of Goodwill

by Linda-Ann Stewart

heart shaped Christmas wreath

For a good part of the world, the holiday season is upon us, along with its theme, “Peace on earth, and goodwill towards men.” It’s a wonderful sentiment, isn’t it? Instead of enjoying peace and goodwill only at a certain time of year, wouldn’t it be nice to experience it all year long? With some awareness and intention, we can create a lifestyle that’s devoted to promoting goodwill. And it’s well worth the effort. It can become an important spiritual practice.  

What Goodwill Means

When you have goodwill, it means that you feel benevolent and compassionate towards other people. You have a friendly and helpful attitude towards another person, desiring the best for them. Even if someone has hurt you, and you don’t want them in your life, you can still wish them well. Being able to reach this viewpoint means that you’ve been able to forgive them and move forward. You let them go to their highest good, while moving onto yours.

What Goodwill Means for You

When you have a sense of goodwill, you’re remodeling your brain to create more cells that reflect kindness.  By focusing on this attitude, you’re building more neural pathways of happiness and optimism. And as you act on your goodwill, you trigger your brain’s reward centers, which releases pleasure chemicals. The more you choose goodwill, the more goodwill you’ll feel.

Paradoxically, projecting goodwill towards others reflects back to you. When you radiate goodwill, you’re more attractive to others. The Law of Attraction will then attract more good to you. Displaying goodwill creates healthier relationships, as goodwill towards a friend or partner is vital for a positive connection. Having good intentions towards others also builds trust in yourself and your interactions with others.

How Goodwill Promotes Peace

Although peace on earth may seem out of reach, there’s a song that goes, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” Each one of us can contribute to peace on earth by having goodwill towards the men and women we meet and interact with. Like kindness, goodwill spreads, like the ripples in a pond. When we emanate goodwill, we’re expressing the love of the Universe and this allows a closer connection to the Infinite. Carry the spirit of this season throughout the year, and let it change your life and the lives of the people around you.

Affirmation:

Goodwill is always flowing from the Universe to me. I give that goodwill a channel to flow through me and into my life. No matter what the circumstances, I choose to radiate goodwill to all those around me. As I choose kindness and compassion, it reflects back into my life. Goodwill has the power to spread peace and joy and change my life and the lives of those around me.

Watch the accompanying video, How to Develop a Sense of Goodwill.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

Achieve Your Vision One Step at a Time

Achieve Your Vision One Step at a Time

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Steps to Success

Grace’s desk was piled high and deep with paid bills, papers she needed to file, old mail to go through, and current projects she was working on. Because of the disorder, when she looked for something, she couldn’t find it. But every time she considered wading through it all, she felt overwhelmed, and would do something else.

Eventually, she decided to set aside 10 minutes a day to work on her pile. The was all the time she could handle at one time. It took a couple of weeks, but by chipping away at it, the pile slowly diminished. Finally, one day, it was small enough that she felt she could spend more time on the project. 90 minutes later, the disorder was gone.

What’s Your End Result?

It’s important with any goal, vision or intention to keep the end result in mind. But sometimes, you don’t have the necessary belief that you can accomplish the goal. Grace knew she wanted an organized desk, but couldn’t face going through all the papers in one sitting. So she started with the amount of time that was comfortable, what worked for her, and what she believed she could reasonably commit to.

When you have a goal, make sure that it’s reasonable and you believe it can be achieved. If you don’t have that necessary belief, then your subconscious mind will make sure it won’t be accomplished. Your subconscious works on the level of conviction you have that your vision is within your grasp. If you don’t have that belief, then start with what you do feel is possible.

How to Accomplish Your Goal

Keeping your outcome in mind, create a series of steps that will take you to your goal. Your first step should be one that you know you can handle. If you want to begin exercising, start with taking a 5 minute walk, if you know you can commit to that. To lose weight, work on the goal 5 pounds at a time.

Make sure the steps are within your control. For instance, if you want to dig yourself out from a mountain of debt, hoping to win the lottery is an unreasonable solution and subject to chance. Instead, address your current budget, which is within your control. What can you eliminate or reduce? Can you increase your income, either through a raise or creating a side business? What actions do you know you can take? Focus on the impacts you can reasonably make towards your goal and work on them. You have the power to find the solution, but you may have to take it a bit at a time.

Some people have a hard time believing they can find another job. If that’s the case, just take it one step at a time. First, work on your resume. Then, start looking for jobs in your area of expertise. Set up interviews. Make sure that each step is one that you know you can fulfill. Once you’ve completed one, move onto the next. Every day, spend a few minutes on some action that moves you in the direction of your goal.

Your Belief Plays a Part

Unless you believe you can accomplish the steps on the way to your goal, your subconscious won’t help you. Instead, you’ll discover that you’re sabotaging yourself. When you commit yourself to take action that’s within your control, it convinces the subconscious to support you. Succeeding steps may be easier, or important information may come your way. Create your intention and start working towards it from the location of your current belief.

The subconscious follows your focus. As you accomplish each step, your belief that you can ultimately achieve your goal will grow. Each completed step builds your belief in yourself and in your abilities. Moving towards your goal, step by step, will take you to your goal.

Affirmation:

My goal is within my grasp. What I can believe, I can achieve. Each step I take brings me closer to the fulfillment of my vision. As I move towards it, the Universe brings me everything I need to accomplish it.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

Manage Your Priorities to Achieve Your Goals

Manage Your Priorities to Achieve Your Goals

How many times do you get sidetracked in a day? This often happens when you put other people’s priorities ahead of your own. When you prioritize your priorities, then you get so much more done with less stress. In this video, I talk about my struggles with this issue and what I’ve done to deal with it. Learn the 3 questions I ask myself and that you can use to find clarity about where to put your attention. Watch Manage Your Priorities to Achieve Your Goals.

Transcript:

Welcome. In this video, I’d like to give you a tip on how to improve your productivity, progress and effectiveness. I’ve struggled with managing my priorities over the years, and want to share a tip about how I’ve learned to handle this area so that you may get more done, and have less stress.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus mentor, writer and hypnotherapist. These videos are dedicated to empower you to focus and align your heart with your vision so you can achieve your goals.

There are times when I’ve gotten sidetracked in a day. Before working on my priority for the day, I’ve checked my email and found a client’s message asking a question, and decided to answer it right then. Or my work flow was interrupted by a follow up call from someone I’d met networking. Or my phone would notify me of a message on LinkedIn, and I’d immediately answer it.

And of course, each of these led to other demands on my attention from other people. Has this ever happened to you? You fall into the trap of satisfying other people’s immediate demands, and not your urgent concerns?

Each time, I mistakenly thought that if I took care of all of these other details right then, I’d be free to focus on my priority task for the day. But what generally happened was that I found myself scrabbling with distractions from others all day long, paying attention to other people’s priorities. Not my priorities.

I learned that if I started out my day scattered, the rest of the day would often continue that way. I would be running all day to catch up with myself and what was important for me and my business.

Unless you pay attention to your intention first, and prioritize your priorities, you’ll fall victim to someone else’s agenda. This is true in your personal and professional lives. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t deal with those folk and what they request of you. Just that you do it in your time frame, when it’s convenient to you, after you’ve worked on what’s important to you and your business.

So here’s the tip. There are 3 simple questions you can ask yourself so you know if you’re working on your priorities or someone else’s.

  1. Will the distraction interfere with your priority for the day, such as your task or project? Yeah, I know, this sounds really simplistic. This is the basic question to ask for you to realize you’re being distracted. If the answer is yes, the next couple of questions will help you decide if the interruption can be dealt with now or later.
  2. Can the distraction be delayed a few hours? Whether it’s a message, a phone call or something else. If it can be delayed, set it aside, focus on your priority and respond later.
  3. Is it imperative for you to deal with right now, such as, will it bring you money or customers immediately? Now, that would be a good reason to interrupt your flow and respond, right? But if not, set it aside and focus on your priority and respond later.

See the theme? If you can respond later, set it aside and focus on your priority first. These questions can help you gain clarity about where you need to put your attention and what to do in each one.

When I started using these questions, I was much more productive, and less frustrated. When you manage your priorities, by prioritizing them, you’ll get a lot more done, with a lot less stress. 

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you’d like to be notified when I release more videos on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel and click on the bell. As always, stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, Develop Self-Mastery by Managing Your Attention.

Decisions Design Your Destiny

Decisions Design Your Destiny

by Linda-Ann Stewart

You make decisions every day, such as what to eat, what to wear, what task to do, what to say, and much more. The life you have today is based on the choices you’ve made in the past. You choose what you want, either consciously or unconsciously. Then your choice leads to making a decision, which then results in some sort of outcome. The decisions you make today will create the life you have tomorrow and beyond.

Your decisions channel the energy of the Universe. Have your decisions brought you the results you want? If you don’t like your outcomes, your power lies in being able to make different choices. But what is it that really makes you choose what you do?

What Influences Your Decisions?

There are some basic motivations that compel your decisions. Once you understand what influences your choices, you can adjust them.

Expediency. You quickly make a choice so you can move onto something else.

Past Beliefs. Old ideas unconsciously drive your choices, which may undermine what you consciously want.

Habit. You automatically fall into an old pattern of choice without thinking about it.

Fear. This can prompt you to avoid making a choice, or it can cause you to take action because of the consequences if you don’t.

Desire. You have something you really want, so you choose to go for it.

Goals. You use your goals as a frame for your choices.  

Your Decisions Create Your Life

When you make a choice, you have to abandon other options and possibilities. When you ask for Divine Guidance, the answer often becomes clear. Once you’ve chosen your course of action, follow through on it. And each decision brings consequences, or rewards and positive outcomes.

If your decision hasn’t brought what you want, reassess your original choice. Is it in alignment with your defined goal, vision or your intention? If not, and you were to choose differently, what would your choice be? Make a different decision based on your new choice.

When your decision leads you to what you’d hoped for, then it’s done its work. Each decision, and the action you take concerning it, creates your life. When you make a choice, it sets in motion the power of the Universe. You have the power. Choose your decisions according to the life you want to be living.

Affirmation:

I am divinely guided to make the best decision that brings me my Highest Good. The One Life within me leads and directs my thoughts and choices. I realize that when I make a decision, it sets the power of the Universe in motion. Divine right action takes place in all areas of my life. Only good comes to and through me.   

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

Can Kindness Backfire?

Can Kindness Backfire?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

No act of kindness, no matter how small, was ever wasted

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “No good deed goes unpunished.” This is often times true if you do your good deed for external gratitude or appreciation. If that’s the reason you perform your good deed, you miss the inner rewards that come with giving of yourself. But there are times in which too much kindness, or trying to push it on others, can be a problem.

The Downside of Kindness

There are times when your intention is to be kind, but it’s not helpful to the person, or may actually harm you. Here are some examples of when kindness can misfire.

Misinterpreting the situation. What you offer as a kindness the other person may reject. You may sincerely want to help those who want to remain self-reliant. For instance, a child whose parent tries to tie their shoe, only to have the child say, “I can do it myself.” In this case, respecting their independence is kindness.

People who don’t want help. You notice that someone needs help, but they don’t want any assistance. Early in my hypnotherapy and coaching practice, I learned that I couldn’t help those who didn’t want help. If I tried to convince them that things could be better, it caused them to rebel and cling more tightly to their issue.  Kindness would be to let go and wait until they ask for help.

Giving too much of yourself. Many years ago, I got into a situation where I was involved in a lot of groups. Because I was overinvolved and not taking care of myself, my health started to sputter and I was constantly sick. To be kind to myself, I had to back out of all of my commitments and lower my stress so I could get healthy again.

People expecting too much. This is the second part of the last example. The person in charge of one of the groups I was volunteered at insisted I continue to work, despite my health issues. She expected me to do what she wanted, no matter how it harmed me. When someone tries to bully you, your responsibility is to be considerate of your needs.

Find a Balance

Being kind is important, for your well being and for the benefit of others. But don’t try to force kindness on people, because that can create a backlash. And that may cause you to be less kind in the future. If you find yourself being taken advantage, of or trying to force kindness on others, take a step back and reassess.

When your kindness is rejected and you may want to shut down, remember your intention was to help. Aesop said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, was ever wasted.” Find those who will welcome your help or those that you can help in smaller ways.

If you find yourself overextended, or being taken advantage of, pull back and set boundaries. Self-care must come first or you can’t help anyone else. The most important person to help and to be kind to is you.  Kindness spreads kindness, and when you attend to your needs, you have more to give.

Affirmation:

I am loving, compassionate, and kind to myself and others. I recognize when my kindness will be welcomed and accepted. Even in delicate or difficult situations, I am Divinely guided in ways to be kind with helping others. I treat others with respect and empathy. By embracing kindness, I’m able to wisely use it in the best way for everyone concerned.

Watch the accompanying video, Be as Kind to Yourself as You Are to Others.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

3 Tips to Overcome Procrastination

3 Tips to Overcome Procrastination

Procrastination is an insidious habit that can undermine your goals, erode your self-confidence and self-respect. But procrastination can be overcome, especially if you take it a bit at a time. Here are 3 tips on how to confront this habit and break through so procrastination no longer holds you back.

Transcript:

Everyone procrastinates from time to time, right? You have a distasteful task or chore you don’t want to do or don’t know exactly how to tackle, so you put it off. Now, if you just postpone taking action for a short time, and then you take care of the task, you don’t have a problem.

But if procrastination has developed into a habit, it can severely impact your life. This habit can undermine any goal you might have, and wear away your self-confidence and self-respect.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision empowerment strategist, and I’d like to share 3 tips on how to confront procrastination and overcome it.

Go through your mail immediately. Don’t let it pile up. This sounds silly and simplistic, but by starting small, with mail, it will build up your discipline to handle bigger tasks.

I used to have a pile of mail on my table that I hadn’t made decisions on. Finally, after I’d whittled down the pile, I trained myself to decide what to do with each piece of mail as it came in. I decided to either file the piece, handle it, or throw it away.

When you practice this and it has become natural, move on to larger issues, such as balancing your checkbook.

There’s an app for that. Of course, there are apps to help you deal with procrastination. Some help you take action on your to do lists, or block distractions, help you stay focused while you’re working, make you aware of your excuses, or whatever you need. Do an internet search and start exploring to find an app that will work for you.

Find an accountability partner. Yes, you could use an app, but there’s nothing like a real live person to keep you committed to a course of action. This could be a friend, coworker or colleague who you tell what you plan to accomplish and by when. You check in with this person regularly, bringing them up to date on your progress.

I belong to a mastermind group. When I tell them my intention, and our next meeting is approaching, I make sure I’ve accomplished something.

If you’re having trouble with procrastination, there are many ways to begin to break this pervasive habit. You don’t have to do it all at once. Start with one small action, keep it up until you get comfortable with that action, and then add another tactic. This way, you’ll chip away at the habit until it no longer holds you back.

To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, watch my FREE training video, Set Your Course to Success. Register for the video and accompanying action planning guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com

Thank you for watching. You can break the habit of procrastination. Stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, Read the accompanying article, 4 Ways to Overcome Procrastination.

Take Charge of Your Life by Living with Intention

Take Charge of Your Life by Living with Intention

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Plane flying

Most people live on autopilot. They routinely think and behave in the same way day after day. If a situation comes up, they unconsciously act as they’ve done in the past. They go through their lives without taking the time to consider what they’re doing. And because they simply react to circumstances, the overall condition of their life rarely changes.

When you react, you’re reinforcing Einstein’s definition of insanity, “Doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.” For your life to improve, you have to change your thoughts and beliefs first. Even if you try to change your situation, it will return to what you’ve experienced in the past unless you shift your attitude.

How to Stay in a Self-Sabotaging Rut

For instance, Sara was a graphic artist. In a proposal early in her career, her estimate to complete a project that was too long for the client, so they went elsewhere. Because of her inexperience, she didn’t realize that their requirement was entirely unreasonable. But from that time on, she was afraid that if she didn’t offer to do the work in a ridiculously short amount of time, she’d lose the job and have very little business.

So she gave completion estimates that she’d barely be able to meet, even if they were her only client. Since she regularly missed her deadlines, she got a reputation of being late with her work. Of course, she lost business because of this, yet she never changed her protocol. Her fear of losing work became a self-fulfilling prophecy. She continued to react to a previous situation, never changed her policy and continued to lose business.

By reacting, you behave the same way you have in the past, which keeps you right where you are, just like what happened to Sara. And you’re acting out of the same mindset, generally one of fear, anger, or sadness. This negative space isn’t a good place to act or make decisions from. As one of my mentor’s said, “Fear isn’t a guidance system.” It won’t bring you the results you want.

How to Change Your Results

Only by intentionally choosing your thoughts and actions will you be able to change your results. It’s not an easy path, but it’s more rewarding and will create better outcomes. To do so, you have to stay aware of what’s transpiring, and not give into impulse.

If Sara had been more aware of her actions and their consequences, she would have chosen more realistic time estimates for projects. It would have been scary at first. She would have had to face down her fears. But she would have gotten more confident as customers approved her proposals and were happy with the end product being delivered on time.

When you live with intention, it means that you’re choosing to respond to situations rather than react to them. You’re being more deliberate and aware with your thoughts and actions. When a situation arises, you’re proactive, thinking your words and actions through. This puts you in the captain’s seat of your life.

How to Become Mindful

The first step is to become mindful of what thoughts you focus on, because they develop into your beliefs. Your beliefs shape how you feel and how you act. For instance, depending on whether you feel comfortable with accepting a compliment or not, you’ll either be delighted or deflect it.

Your second step is to become aware of how you habitually react to specific situations. Does it get you the results you want? If you feel defensive and attack whenever anyone questions you on your work, does this help your career to progress? Or would being open to constructive suggestions help more? Assess whether your reactions are helpful or sabotaging you.

The third step is to consciously choose and implement your new response. When a coworker asks you to lunch, instead of isolating yourself at your desk, go with them. This step gets tougher when crises come up and you don’t take the moment or two to remember your intention. But with practice, this will become easier.

Living with Intention

This is living with intention. You’re being responsive, aware of your choices and purposely choosing your actions. Jack Kornfield, author and Buddhism teacher, said, “Intention leads to behaviors which lead to habits, which lead to personality development which leads to destiny.”

Be deliberate about your thoughts, words, and deeds. You’ll get better results. Instead of riding helplessly in a rudderless boat, at the whim of the wind and water, take the helm. By living with intention, you take control of your destiny.

Affirmation:

I become aware of how I react to situations, and assess whether it’s helpful or hindering me. It’s safe for me to make a different decision than I normally would. I have the knowledge and the resources to deal with the challenges of my life in a new and better way. By choosing to live with intention, I take control of my life.

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Is Your Attention on Your Intention?

Is Your Attention on Your Intention?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Where are you putting your attention? Is it on your intention, vision or what you want to create in your life? There’s an expression, “Energy flows where attention goes.” Whatever you’re focusing on will be the direction your energy will go, whether it’s towards your dream or away from it. This is true whether you want to start a new habit of meditating every day, write more, or follow up on leads for your business. Is your attention on what you want or do you get sidetracked?

To achieve your goal, you need to have a plan and benchmarks to follow. But you may get distracted or scattered as you try to act on them. It’s inevitable that crises will happen and unexpected tasks get shoved into your schedule. This only becomes a problem if these issues become chronic. Your subconscious may have been trained to keep you off track by creating problems. The solution is to refocus on what’s really important first and deal with the unexpected later in the day.

Establish Your Priorities

A plan is necessary and you have to work your plan to achieve success. Establishing your priorities is an integral part of fulfilling your intention. You have to make your next step or goal your primary mission each day. If you don’t, you’ll allow life’s diversions to pull you off course. It all depends on where you put your focus. Because wherever you put your attention makes that task or situation your priority.

For instance, let’s say you want to finish a project. But when the phone rings, you answer it, interrupting your work. By answering, you’ve allowed your phone to take precedence over your task. And you give your subconscious the message that the call is more important than your project. That means your subconscious will create more interruptions because it follows your lead.

On a personal level, you may want to lose weight. But you’re tempted by indulging in a bowl of ice cream. If you decide to eat the ice cream, your attention has shifted from weight loss to treating yourself. You’ve made pampering yourself your priority and have undermined your intention of losing weight. Do this more than a couple of times in a short time frame and you’ll create a habit that will destroy your original goal.

Your Intentions Are Important

In a professional capacity, many people will set their interests aside to help a coworker work on a report. The coworker is capable of doing it by themself, but they want help. Instead of taking the responsibility of handling it, the coworker finds someone to assist or support them.

Unfortunately, the person who has agreed to help ignores their own priorities to fulfill the other person’s goal. In helping, they’re acting on someone else’s agenda and not attending to their own. This occurs when you don’t let the phone go to voicemail, frequently check your email or don’t put a sign on your door saying, “Do Not Disturb,” when you need to complete a project. When you don’t focus on and stand up for your intention, then you allow another person’s goal to take precedence over yours.

Focus on Your Priorities

In general, women especially tend to put other people’s wants ahead of their well-being. Their focus is to try to make sure everyone else is happy and satisfied before they address their own intentions.  They forget that others are just as capable of fulfilling their own desires.

How often do you give an employee a task or train a coworker and say to yourself, “It would be easier and faster to do it myself?” When you fall into this trap of doing the work yourself, you’re telling them that you don’t believe they can do their job. You’re also instructing your subconscious to keep you overwhelmed. Again, you’re setting aside your priorities to handle someone else’s.

When you give your employee a task and allow them to complete it, you’re helping to build their confidence. Once trained, a coworker will be able to take some responsibility off your shoulders. This will give you more time to focus on your priorities.

How to Be Intentional

Every day, you have hundreds of decisions to make. Many of those have to do with your intention, vision or dream. To stay focused on it, you have to stay conscious and mindful, and not fall into the trap of just reacting to whatever shows up. Whenever you have something unexpected occur, ask yourself, “Is this someone else’s agenda?” and “Will this interfere with my intention?”

If the answer to these questions is, “Yes,” then you have to choose what’s more important, your intention or theirs. But remember, the only way you’ll be able to fulfill your dream is to keep your attention on your intention.

Affirmation:

The Universe supports me in all my endeavors.  I keep my intention in mind at all times. Whenever anything unexpected takes place, I stay conscious and mindful and make decisions that support my intention. I realize that everyone has the ability to take care of their own challenges. By attending to my agenda, I’m empowered and empower others to handle their own.

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