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Practicing Goodwill to Yourself

Practicing Goodwill to Yourself

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Heart shaped Christmas wreath

This is the season for “Peace on Earth, goodwill to all.” But how is your goodwill towards yourself? In other words, how are you treating yourself? Are you doing things that nurture and nourish your inner being or are you putting yourself last on your list? The way you take care of yourself impacts your relations with everything in your world. When you don’t give your inner self importance, Life treats you much in the same way.

The Bible says to “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” This has been interpreted to mean that we’re to put others first. But read of the whole quote, “Love thy neighbor AS thyself,” not more than yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love your neighbor. Love of self and goodwill extends outward like the ripples in a pond. When you tend to yourself, you can tend to others because you have more love to spread.

There’s an old saying, “Charity begins at home.” This is because if you give all of yourself away, there’s nothing left for you, therefore there’s nothing left of you to give. If you don’t nurture yourself in a healthy way, your inner self will insist on it. For instance, if you work too hard, you might get sick to get some time off.

How can you nurture yourself? I’m not talking about eating a pound of fudge, but doing something that makes your inner being feel nourished. Getting enough sleep and eating healthy meals would be a good start. Other things to do could be to take a walk, get out into nature, meditate, do yoga, take a bubble bath, rent a video, or something else that makes you feel special. For you are special to the Universe. The Infinite wants you to show goodwill to yourself, so that your peace will spread to the world.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Stop Shaming Yourself

Stop Shaming Yourself

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Break the inner chains that bind you.

When I used to facilitate tobacco-cessation classes, I told the participants not to condemn themselves if they relapsed. Feeling ashamed would just make them feel powerless and they’d give up. It’s much like someone on a diet who eats a cookie and figures, “Oh, well. I’ve failed. I might as well eat the whole bag.” In reality, the relapse is simply an opportunity to learn what else they need to do to become a nonsmoker. They’ve stumbled onto a trigger that they hadn’t planned on or had no strategy in place to deal with.

Shame and Guilt Are Different

Most of us dump shame on ourselves at one time or another. Shame is different from guilt. Shame is usually deposited on us by someone else, or can be an exaggerated form of guilt. Guilt signals us when we’ve violated some reasonable standard or value, so that we learn the lesson and don’t do it again. Such as accidentally stepping onto someone’s foot, feeling upset that it happened, apologizing or making amends, and moving on with our lives.

However, guilt morphs into shame when we do something we regret, and then the emotion grows to infect every aspect of our lives. Shame permeates our whole beingness and isn’t just about what we’ve done, but about who we are.

The more we wallow in guilt, and transform it into shame, the more powerless and worthless we feel. When that happens, we tend to act in self-destructive ways to try to numb the pain of how bad we feel, as well as verify the low opinion of ourselves.

A smoker will smoke more, someone with an eating disorder will spiral into more of the problem, a couch potato will avoid getting any exercise, a rage-aholic will lash out at those close to them, a workaholic will spend less time at home, and even those with no major addiction problems will do more of what made them feel ashamed in the first place. It’s a vicious cycle.

Stop the Cycle of Shame

As with everything else, “Energy flows where attention goes.” If our full attention is on how bad we are because of the awful thing we did, and we focus on that to the exclusion of anything good we’ve done, our subconscious has no other choice than to continue to recreate the negativity. It’s only doing what it perceives we want. The Universe doesn’t want us to suffer like that. It’s all our doing.

It’s not easy to stop the cycle. We’ve been trained to be very critical of ourselves. Our culture tends to shame those who don’t meet its measure of perfection. I’ve even heard spiritual people say, about someone going through a challenge, “I wonder what was in their consciousness to bring that into their experience?” It’s just another form of judging a person for not meeting some impossibly high standard.

It’s About Learning

We’re here to learn lessons, to become skilled at love, power and manifestation. If we were perfect, we wouldn’t be here. This life is a process of training. A child doesn’t walk the first time they stand up. They fall, and try again. After learning to balance, they then take a step and tumble down. They’re learning how to use their muscles. Eventually, through trial and error, they are able to walk, run and skip.

As we learn, we practice our new abilities each day. Sometimes we backslide to learn another aspect of the lesson. A child doesn’t shame themselves for not being able to walk as soon as they emerge into this world. They learn from their mistakes and get on with the process. We need to be more like children when we don’t succeed immediately, because the more we slip-up, the more we get to experience new facets of our lesson.

Whenever that shaming voice begins to shout, remember that the original issue isn’t about the whole being, it’s about a single event. Focus on that one incident, learn what you need to do differently, make any amends necessary, forgive yourself, and implement the changes you want to make. Then let it go and move on. In this way, we release and direct Universal energy to grow and evolve.

Affirmation:

Shame is a denial of Universal love. Any shame I feel is false information about who and what I am. I am a worthwhile child of the Infinite. I give myself credit for the good that I’ve done. Whenever I take a mis-step or make a mistake, I realize that it’s simply part of my learning process. Guilt is a signal that I violated my own standards. I learn the lesson, make amends, forgive myself and let it go. In so doing, I move forward in my spiritual awareness and evolution.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“When I claim a greater good for myself, I realize I’m not taking that good from anyone else. Everyone has the same ability and connection as I do to receive a better life. Therefore, I release all inner restrictions and open my mind to receive all the best that Life can bestow.”

You deserve greater good. Period. That good is yours no matter what. It doesn’t belong to anyone else. No one else can use it. The only person it can serve is you, and you’re the only person who can deny it. Everyone has as much access to receiving their good as you do. So go ahead and accept what is already yours.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.” Soren Kierkegaard

The Universe holds all the good you could want in potential for you. When you pray, you’re not changing God’s mind. The Universe isn’t going to give that good to you or withhold it based on your prayer. The Universe couldn’t withhold your good any more than the sun could hold back its warmth. Prayer, affirmations, and anything else that is connecting to a Higher Power actually works to open your mind to a greater acceptance of that good.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“No matter what the difficulties, there is something within me that knows what to do. I release my challenge to my Higher Mind, and know that I am guided into the right answer. There is a perfect solution to my problem that opens up doors to greater good.”

When you get into trouble, it’s normal to try to figure out for yourself how to get out of it. And sometimes, you can’t. That’s when you need to turn it over to something greater and let It resolve the situation. But that’s really hard. It does have the answer, but trusting that It does is difficult. Be aware of any intuition or nudges that come to you. That’s your still, small voice trying to get your attention.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Book Review – 365 Science Of Mind

Book Review – 365 Science Of Mind

365 Science Of Mind” A Year of Daily Wisdom
from Ernest Holmes

I received this little jewel for Christmas fifteen years ago, and still use it. It’s a wonderful book to start the New Year with. Ernest Holmes founded the philosophy, Religious Science (which is my spiritual foundation), teaching practical spirituality for richer living. The individual readings from this book are from his early Science of Mind magazine daily guides. Each month is dedicated to a specific topic, such as love, faith, renewal, fulfillment and more.

Only when you change your thinking will you begin attracting more good into your life. By starting out the morning with these inspirational ideas and reinforcing them all day long, your consciousness of good will expand. Old mental patterns will begin to change as you persist through the year. Each day has a quote from a spiritual text at the top, a short essay to focus your mind, and then an affirmation about the subject. Dedicating only a few minutes a morning to your daily reading, you can transform your life within a year.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

The Journey to Finding Clarity

The Journey to Finding Clarity

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Clarity Focus Goal

Many decades ago, I was in a relationship that wasn’t working for me. I unsuccessfully tried discussing it with my boyfriend. I even tried to be more of the person he wanted me to be (I was young and naïve, and it was a disaster). I couldn’t put my finger on how or why we were out of sync, but I knew we were.

When we first started dating, I’d told him I wanted us to be equals and partners, and he’d agreed. But, finally, in an argument, I discovered he really wanted a different kind of relationship, in which he had all the power and made all the decisions. And he’d been trying to maneuver me into becoming his ideal partner. Because our expectations were in opposition, we were moving in different directions, and it was pulling us apart.

Does Something Feel Off?

Have you ever been in a situation that wasn’t going the way you wanted, but you didn’t know what was wrong? You may not even realize that there was a problem, but you were uncomfortable with the circumstances?

You could be in the middle of a relationship that’s not working, a job that you don’t like or your business has stalled. Because you’re in the middle of it, you may not be aware that there is an issue. You just know that things don’t seem right and you’re discontented. You could have outgrown where you are, and the Universe is trying to communicate that to you through your discomfort.

Many people in this situation unconsciously start trying different tactics to fix a problem before they even know exactly what’s amiss. They may jump from strategy to strategy, trying different things and not following through on any of them. All this does is create chaos and make things worse.

How to Gain Clarity

If you feel unsettled, you need to get clear on what the issue is before you can resolve the problem. Here are some ways to find that insight. 

Awareness. Before you can solve a problem, you have to admit you have one. I knew I had a problem in that relationship, even if I didn’t know what it was. Sometimes, you try to ignore the issue, hoping it will resolve itself. Sometimes, it will. But most often, you have to acknowledge that something is wrong before you can begin to address it.

Clarity. Once you’ve recognized that something isn’t right, you have to discover the source of the problem. In my relationship, it turned out that we were mismatched and had different goals. Diagnose the issue by describing what the symptoms are. Identify where or what’s keeping you stuck or making you uncomfortable.  

Journaling. To dig deeper into what might be going on, journal about the situation first thing every morning for at least three days. Write for fifteen to twenty minutes. When you write, keep the pen moving, and don’t critique or edit what you’re writing. This keeps your conscious mind at bay and allows vital information to surface from your subconscious mind.

Ask for Guidance. Ask your Higher Self for clarity and guidance in the situation. When you do, you quit trying to control the outcome, and you allow the Universe to reveal insight and understanding to you.

Finding the Solution

Once you’ve identified the problem, you’re on your way to finding the solution. “A problem well stated is a problem half solved,” Charles Kettering said. Your subconscious mind is your ultimate problem solver, but you have to articulate the issue before your creative mind can work on it.

Once you’ve gotten clarity about what’s wrong, your subconscious will start coming up with ideas of what to do. You might be surprised how how quickly answers start appearing. They may not be the outcome you want, but they’ll be the direction you need to go. For instance, my boyfriend and I eventually broke up, but it was best for both of us. Doors will open for a better life for you, like they did for me.

Affirmation:

The Universe knows what’s making me discontented and uncomfortable. I now open my mind to recognize and acknowledge what the issue is. The Universe knows the answer to this problem and reveals it to my mind now. I allow the Universe to guide me to the steps I need to take to resolve the issue for my Highest Good.

Watch the accompanying video, Guided Meditation to Gain Clarity.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“Nothing is ever lost in Divine Mind. I can never be separated from my good, for it is the Presence and Power within me. Whatever that has been missing now returns to me, because it is mine by Divine Right.”

Everyone experiences loss at some time in their lives, whether it’s a friend moving away, a loved one passing on, a marriage breaking up, or one’s investments reducing. Each of these losses creates a vacuum in your life, to be filled by its equivalent or something better. If you believe something is lost for good, then you’re telling your subconscious not to recover it. However, the good it represents is still there for you to claim, maybe in another form. You may not have the exact, same person, place or thing magically returned to you. But it could be something comparable comes to you in a different way. Keep your mind open for the possibilities.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Learn To Say “No”

Learn To Say “No”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Years ago, I got caught up in too many outside activities. During this period, I was assistant secretary of a community organization that planned a yearly event, the secretary of a creative group that held a yearly contest, a member of an artist’s co-operative, attended classes, acted in community theater, and wrote publicity articles for the same community theater.

I was so stressed that I got very little sleep and my health began to suffer. Finally, I began backing out of some of the responsibilities. For the first time in my life, I had to tell people “No, I can’t do it anymore.” The head of the community theater group pleaded with me to continue writing articles, because “There’s no one else available.” I stuck to my guns, even though it was excruciatingly hard. And I learned that I wasn’t irreplaceable. Someone else did step in and write the articles.

An Important Skill

Learning when to say “no” is an important skill. For if you don’t establish what you can do and what you choose not to do, the world will take advantage of you. You have a right to say “no.” In life, there are always choices. When I wanted to be able to sleep and be healthier, I had to cut some activities out of my life. I then focused on a couple of activities that I felt were most important to me. In another situation, a person may decide they want to go hiking instead of going to a family dinner with their parents. You sometimes have to choose between what others’ want from you and what it is that you really want to do.

When I realized that I was resenting my involvement in so many organizations, I knew I had to let some go. I wasn’t doing myself any good. And even though individually they were activities that I enjoyed, I couldn’t give them my best. In learning to say “no,” I stated to the Universe, and to the world, what I was saying “yes” to. You can do the same. By saying “no” to some things or people, you’re saying “yes” to yourself and to the things that you choose to experience in your life.

Affirmation:

I know that I always have choices to make in my life. Sometimes, I must choose between equally enjoyable situations. In other cases, I must decide whether to please myself or others. I now give myself permission to say “no” to conditions in my life that drag me down or that aren’t of benefit to me at the present time. I realize that as I say “no” to some circumstances that I resent, I’m saying “yes” to myself and to what I really want to experience.

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Relaxation, harmony and ease are your natural state of being. When you’re tense, anxious or worried, you’re actually just blocking the flow of the Universe through you. The good that you desire hasn’t gone away, it’s just tied up in knots and can’t move. Your attention is on what you’re afraid of, rather than on what you want. And “where attention goes, energy flows.” When you let go, you let relaxation and good surface and express in your life.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart