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Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin

Most people tend to avoid changing until it becomes too painful to stay where they are. They fear the unknown and the effort to change more than they fear the difficulty they’re in. Change isn’t easy, and it takes motivation, determination and commitment. Sometimes, it means you have to make tough choices. When you get tired of being uncomfortable, unhappy, and distressed, you’ll gather your resources and say, “Enough! I can make things better.” 

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

What Are You Expecting?

What Are You Expecting?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

“People only see what they are prepared to see.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Imagine you’re at a networking meeting where you don’t know anyone. You feel out of place and just a little anxious. A nicely dressed woman walks in your direction. Uneasy, you prepare to introduce yourself and smile at her. But she never makes eye contact, walks right by and you feel snubbed.

You filtered her actions through your beliefs and expectations. Because you already felt insecure, you believed she deliberately ignored you. The truth is that she probably was focused on someone across the room that she knew and never even noticed you. But you interpreted her actions to be what you expected, which was to be ignored, rather than she just wasn’t aware of you.

We See What We Expect

As we go through life, it’s human nature to notice things that reinforce what we already believe. For example, a salesperson gets uncomfortable with a potential client being quiet during a sales conversation. The salesperson thinks the client has no interest in the product, when the client is actually trying to figure out how they can pay for the item.

Negative people seek out any information that downplays optimism being beneficial so they can validate being pessimistic. A self-confident, outgoing person expects people to like them. They believe that everyone they meet is a potential friend, and because of their attitude, most people respond to their warmth.

Expectations Shape Results

Everything in your life is filtered through what you expect and believe. Anything that disputes or questions your perceptions is demeaned or dismissed. When you have so narrow a focus, you won’t notice other ideas or opportunities that present themselves to you. Possibilities may be all around you, but since you’re not expecting them, you overlook them. And sometimes, if they’re presented to you, you rebuff them because they don’t fit into the picture you have in your mind.  

If your beliefs and expectations are the lens through which you view life, then that outlook is where your focus is. Wherever you put your attention affects your actions. For instance, when you expect an idea or project to be rejected, you don’t put a lot of effort into it. So your expectations become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because your decisions, behaviors and actions influenced the outcome.

Change Your Filter

The way to see things differently, so your results improve, is to change the filter through which you view conditions. When you have a disappointing encounter, ask yourself the following questions.

  • What did you expect from it?
  • Was your expectation unrealistic?
  • Did you misread the situation?
  • Did your actions or inactions contribute to the outcome?
  • Were you open and accepting of other options?
  • What can you do to improve the situation?            
  • How can you change your beliefs to be more aware of opportunities?

These questions will begin to break through your mental assumptions, allowing you to consider other interpretations. As Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Change your expectations, and you’ll start seeing a whole new world of possibilities.

Affirmation:

I release limiting beliefs and expectations. They come from the past and no longer support the life I want. I now look at situations from a more objective viewpoint. Possibilities abound in my life, and I recognize opportunities when they come my way. I attract the best that Life has to offer.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Are You Expecting Too Little?

Are You Expecting Too Little?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Years ago, I was involved with someone who never kept his promises. Glenn was always late for a date and never called when he said he would. And, in this pre-cell phone era, I couldn’t call him. To reduce my frustration, I decided not to have any expectations of him. Also, I didn’t want to have my beliefs of how I thought he should act interfere in the relationship.

Unfortunately, since there were no consequences for his actions, it just encouraged his callous behavior. One day, when he was again a half-hour late, I’d had enough and I left. Later, we had a “discussion” about it and all of his other broken agreements with me. Faced with either treating me with more respect or having the relationship end, he said he’d live up to his promises.

The Problem with Low Expectations

The idea that prompted my original attitude was that when you have low expectations, then you’re delighted whenever something special comes your way. Trying to have the perfect relationship, best job, or ultimate success can keep you from enjoying the moment. You’re always living in the future, dissatisfied and unhappy in the present.

However, the attitude of,  “Don’t have any expectations. That way you’re not disappointed with what you get,”  means that you never strive to improve your life. You settle for what you have, happy with crumbs that life throws you, and don’t believe it can get any better. And with this attitude, your subconscious will only give you what it already has. It can’t give you anything more because you’re instructing it not to.

Why to Aspire for More

Aspiring for something better, and not reaching the apex, can bring disappointment. And disappointment hurts. After a failure, many people stop trying. They’re afraid to want more, and just try to be grateful for what they have. But then they don’t work hard towards anything, because why strive when they don’t believe they’ll achieve anything?

In that case, unfortunately, life responds according to our low expectations. By not expecting anything better, we don’t work for it. Being satisfied with the status quo, we don’t take any actions to stand up for ourselves. By not seeking to improve our job position, we will never put forth any effort to move up.  

But is giving up and being complacent the way to grow? Isn’t striving part of the learning process? Without moving toward a vision or a goal, then you’re not progressing. Very few people succeed the first, second or even fifth time. You learn something new with each attempt, and it makes you stronger and wiser.

Avoid Having Unrealistic Expectations

Although having unrealistic expectations can undermine the ability to achieve your goals and destroy your happiness, sensible ones can enrich your life. Working toward a realistic goal can build skills, character and get you closer to the life you want.

Wanting to lose 50 pounds in a month would be unrealistic. Deciding to reduce by 5 pounds a month is doable. It may take you awhile to reach your goal weight, but by the time you’ve lost the weight, you’ll have spent months living with your new eating behaviors. This would give you a better chance of maintaining your weight.

Hoping to become manager of your department a month after you first get the job would be unrealistic. However, meeting deadlines and giving more than asked would get you noticed. Before long, you could be asked to lead up a project that would put you on the promotion track.

Balance Your Expectations

When you have expectations, you’re able to gauge whether your goals are progressing properly or not. They allow you to measure whether you’ve met your objectives. If you haven’t, you adjust them and keep going.

As with everything, there are extremes to having expectations. Having too little can get you stuck in a dead end job, unhappy relationship, or stagnant life. If your expectations are too high or unrealistic, you’ll constantly be dissatisfied, unhappy and may eventually give up. However, when you have realistic expectations that require you to work towards them and grow, they’ll enrich your life.

What I wanted from a relationship was more than Glenn could give me. He continued to treat me as a convenience. Although it was difficult for me, I eventually ended the relationship with him. I wanted and expected better treatment and respect. Only by desiring something different, taking action towards it, and expecting that your actions will be successful, will you be able to experience something greater in your life.

Affirmation:

I give myself permission to accept greater abundance and success into my life. I keep my expectations realistic as I work towards my goals. Even if I don’t succeed the first time, I learn from the situation and try again. Only good comes to me as I pursue my dreams.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

If you’re ambivalent about your goal, your subconscious knows that. One day you may want to move forward, and the next you wonder if it’ll be worth it. For example, a smoker knows they should quit smoking, but doesn’t want the short-term discomfort that it’ll take to reach that objective. Your subconscious takes its cue from your conscious mind. Only when you commit to a goal, without reservation, will the subconscious fully back you. What beliefs do you need to put into place to commit to it?

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Resistance is Futile

Resistance is Futile

Change is going to happen whether you resist it or not. Resistance to change just delays it and exhausts your energy. Learn a better way to respond to change.

Transcript:

Did you ever watch the series, Star Trek: The Next Generation? They had an enemy called the Borg who’s catch phrase was, “Resistance is futile.” It sounds hopeless, but the Borg were finally defeated by the crew of the Starship Enterprise. The Enterprise didn’t so much as resist as figure out how to destroy the Borg. The crew of the Enterprise were proactive. But the Borg’s catch phrase is very true.

It’s normal to resist a change that you’re being driven towards. But if you try to resist or resent change, you could become bitter and angry. Change is going to happen, whether you want it or not. You really don’t want it to drag you kicking and screaming into the future.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist. I’ve helped hundreds of people navigate changes in their lives.

There’s an old saying, “What you resists, persists.” When you resist, you’re pouring energy into opposing  a change. That energy feeds into the change, making its pull stronger and makes the change  harder. Your energy could be used much more productively. Shift your perspective on what you’re resisting.

Consider that maybe the forces of nature are trying to eliminate something you’ve outgrown, or bring something better into your life. Or it could be what you’re resisting is what you should be leaning into and pursuing.

At the very least, be proactive. What do you need to do to deal with what is being forced upon you? You’ll have to be innovative to avoid it, and there will still be change. Accept that change is upon you,  plan for it and make the best of it. When you set your creative mind to finding a way to triumph, instead of resisting, your creative mind will come up with a solution.

If this has been helpful, please like it and subscribe to my channel, so you’ll be notified of my videos as they’re released. Stay focused on improving your life.

 ~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Welcome the Opportunity of Change

Welcome the Opportunity of Change

by Linda-Ann Stewart

There is nothing permanent except change. Heraclitus

“There is nothing permanent except change.” Heraclitus

As humans, we tend to resist change, especially when it’s thrust upon us. We want to stay with the status quo, even when what’s familiar is holding us back and making us uncomfortable. But life is change. You aren’t the same person you were yesterday. Your life is slightly different than it was last year. Sometimes change is gradual and sometimes it comes at you all at once. The Universe is always urging you forward, to expand into a greater awareness.

When change is thrust upon you, your first instinct may be to ignore it and hope for the best. But this only wastes energy. Unfortunately, resistance just delays the inevitable and makes it harder to deal with the issue when it erupts all over your life. If you haven’t prepared to handle the fallout, the consequences can be disastrous. Resisting makes the Cosmic 2″ x 4″ board that metaphorically hits you become a 4″ x 8″ board.

Accept What’s Coming and Adjust

When you’re driving, and see a curve ahead, you adjust your speed and steering ahead of time. For big events in your life, you make plans, like a party, wedding, birth, or retirement. You recognize that each of these occasions requires thought and preparation, or there could be complications. Most people even make a will and take out insurance as protection against unforeseen circumstances.

Not all of change is beneficial. But even if you don’t want the change, don’t put blinders on. Accept that it’s happening. When you shift from fighting against the change to accepting it, you free up your inner resources, creativity and innovation.  You begin to flow with the Universe. William James, philosopher and psychologist, said, “Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” You aren’t giving up or giving into misfortune; you’re recognizing the reality of the situation and addressing it.

Looking Ahead

When change starts to push into your life, pay attention. There will be signals that change is in the offing. You could have a dip in your revenue, a recurring sign that you need to attend to your health, or trusted tactics not working as well as they once did. This isn’t an excuse to overreact, but to start planning ahead for a potential shift.

Stay aware of the currents of life and where they’re taking you. Life leaves clues. Look ahead to where you may be headed, and make plans to avoid a potential crisis. When you’re forward thinking, you’re able to notice difficulties that may be in the offing. The Universe will give you choices, and it’s easier to make a wise decision before, instead of during, you’re in the middle of the situation. Problems generally show up with a hidden opportunity. When you keep your mind open to how you can capitalize on a situation, you’ll find a way to do so.

Be Proactive

Instead of reacting when you’re forced to, be proactive and make plans ahead of time. This gives the Law of Attraction time to act. Anticipate future problems and find ways to turn them to your advantage. This means you meet the issue on your terms, and can triumph over it. Even if the change isn’t as extreme as you expect, you still have exercised your creativity concerning the situation. Being proactive improves your sense of control, empowerment, and reduces your stress.  It can also help you develop a better outlook on life and increase your coping skills.

Change pushes you to grow, to become more resilient, flexible and innovative. You become a better person as you learn to adjust to new situations and circumstances. When you seek out the best of a situation, you may find something much better than you ever expected. Embrace change, prepare for it, and you will thrive.

Affirmation:

Change is the way the Universe urges me to grow. I welcome change, anticipate it and prepare for it to wash through my life. As I accept that I’m able to transform through shifting conditions, I’m Divinely guided to the direction I need to take for my Highest Good. I bless the situation, and know that something wonderful manifests for me. 

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

There is a difference between instinct and intuition. Instinct’s drive is to keep you safe and was created when you were born. Intuition’s purpose is to enhance your life and is developed by your experience. Sometimes, they can feel like the same thing. But instinct will feel like a gut or knee jerk reaction. It can pull you up short and seem to come out of nowhere. Intuition is quieter and more of a gentle nudging. As you pay attention to both of them, you’ll feel the difference and be able to better take advantage of their wisdom.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“No matter what the difficulties, there is something within me that knows what to do. I release my challenge to my Higher Mind, and know that I am guided into the right answer. There is a perfect solution to my problem that opens up doors to greater good.”

When you get into trouble, it’s normal to try to figure out for yourself how to get out of it. And sometimes, you can’t. That’s when you need to turn it over to something greater and let It resolve the situation. But that’s really hard. It does have the answer, but trusting that It does is difficult. Be aware of any intuition or nudges that come to you. That’s your still, small voice trying to get your attention.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart