The Trouble with Rose Colored Glasses

The Trouble with Rose Colored Glasses

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by Linda-Ann Stewart

Rose colored glasses on sand.

When I was younger, I saw the best in people. I also recognized their flaws, but mainly focused on the core of good I saw in them. Unfortunately, some of those people were uncomfortable with my insight. They would insult or take advantage of me, as if they were trying to prove me wrong. It seemed the more I saw the good in them, the more it irritated them.

Eventually, as I grew older and more experienced, I sadly realized that I had to detach from them. I accepted they weren’t going to change. So I let them, and myself, go to find something better. This isn’t just true for relationships.

Rosy Filters Can Be Misleading

Being positive and empathetic doesn’t mean wearing rose colored glasses, with an unrealistic view of people and life. For instance, if you view a relationship or situation through a rosy filter, you only see what you want to see. It’s nice and it’s comforting, but you may miss red flags, as well as opportunities.

Believe it or not, deliberately ignoring a fact or situation just gives it more power. The difficulty is always on the fringes of your mind, and it takes energy to keep it suppressed. When you’re positive, you can seek out the best in situations, while being aware of problematic issues.

How to Balance Being Positive with Realism

In Maxwell Maltz’s book, Psycho-Cybernetics, he uses the analogy of golfing for how to maintain focus on your goal. When you’re about to hit the ball off the tee, you’re aware of the sand and water traps so you can avoid them. But you don’t put all your attention on them. Your focus is on the ball and where you want it to go.

The same thing is true about being positive in any situation. You’re aware of the difficulties, recognizing reality, but expecting and working towards the best. When you acknowledge unpleasant details, but cultivate an optimistic mindset, you’re able to make more empowered decisions and experience a fuller life.

Affirmation:

I am Divinely Guided with everyone and in every situation. I recognize those people who I can trust with my confidences. With others, I am guided with how much to share with them. I am aware of any issues, so that I can deal with them, as needed. I deserve, expect and accept the best from every circumstance. Only Divine Good goes through me and comes to me.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

Safeguard Your Light

Safeguard Your Light

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When you are an authentic person, it’s natural for you to be open and genuine with everyone you meet. Unfortunately, not everyone is like you. Some people will use what you share against you. Here’s a tip to avoid that happening, so you’re able to preserve your inner peace and integrity. Watch Safeguard Your Light,

Transcript:

Welcome to this month’s mindset tip. I wanted to talk about how to protect your authenticity when you’re dealing with the people in your world. When you are an authentic person, it’s natural for you to be open and genuine with most everyone you meet, right?

Unfortunately, not everyone is like you. For instance,  bosses who just want a warm body to do the work without any interaction. And there are others of ill will and bad faith who would use information you give them against you, to dim your light. So how do you navigate these muddy waters and stay authentic? That’s the tip I want to share.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus mentor, writer and hypnotherapist. These videos are dedicated to empower you to focus, and align your heart with your vision so you can achieve your goals.

This tip is from my personal experience, so take it with a grain of salt. But, this is something I’ve had to learn the hard way. I’ve confided in people close to me who twisted what I said to benefit them or who used it against me. My tip is to trust those, with your inner thoughts and beliefs, who have earned that trust. Trust those who have shown they value you.

Not everyone you meet will deserve same level of trust from you. There are times when it’s not appropriate to share your ideas and opinions with others. Think of it like a sliding scale. For instance, clerks, bosses, customers, and others you meet on a professional basis don’t need to know your thoughts.

But even those you meet in your personal life should be assessed for how much you can trust them. Be reserved with revealing your deepest self until trust has grown or you know the person is safe to be vulnerable with.

This doesn’t mean to wear a mask. Just be careful of how you share your light with others, so you only share it with those who will respect and honor you. That way, you safeguard your light and your peace of mind. Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you’d like to be notified when I release more videos on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel and click on the bell. As always, stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, Be Authentic by Walking Your Talk.

Be Authentic by Walking Your Talk

Be Authentic by Walking Your Talk

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by Linda-Ann Stewart

woman's shoes walking away

Several years ago, an acquaintance told me she’d just been to a conference with many spiritual and personal development speakers. At the reception, she was especially delighted to meet one of her idols. His core message was to be present with the person you were with and to make that person feel important.

He greeted her by looking into her eyes and saying, “You’re very important to me.” But as she spoke to him, his eyes wandered the room, and a few moments later he excused himself. He walked over to greet someone else with the same phrase. She was completely disenchanted by his hypocrisy. He didn’t walk his talk, and lost a devoted follower.

What Authenticity Is and What It Isn’t

When a person’s actions don’t align with what they claim is important to them, this causes others to distrust them. This is true in personal and professional relationships. People are attracted to those who are authentic. Authenticity consists of being sincere, genuine, and living according to your values.

However, if you’re having a bad day or are in a difficult mood, authenticity doesn’t require you to share it with your boss, your customer, or the grocery clerk. That would be counterproductive. It could overwhelm them or cause them to feel uncomfortable. Those in your outer circle crave consistency, reliability and professionalism.

Being True to Yourself

Being connected to your principles allows you to decide how to be present with the different people and situations in your life. When you’re authentic, it denotes that you’re being true to yourself and what you believe in. It increases your credibility to others. In personal relationships, after you’ve built a foundation of trust, it’s appropriate to be vulnerable and reveal more of yourself.

When your words and deeds match, and you follow through on promises and intentions, you establish your integrity. This gives people the message that it’s safe to depend on you. As you walk your talk, you fit your actions to your words. As a result, it instills in you a deep sense of confidence, self-esteem, happiness and inner peace. What values are most important to you and how can you best honor them?

Affirmation:

When I am authentic, then I am being a clear channel for the Universe to flow through me. I choose to live according to my deepest values. By aligning my words and my deeds, I build trust. As I follow through on my promises and intentions, I establish integrity. By being true to myself, I am true to others, as well.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

How to Defuse Negative Self-Talk

How to Defuse Negative Self-Talk

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We all experience negative self-talk from time to time. That criticizing, judging inner voice that tears you down, and undermines your confidence and abilities. In this video, I share a mindset shift to help you defuse that self-sabotaging habit and train your mind to support you. Watch How to Defuse Negative Self-Talk.

Transcript:

Welcome to my channel. Do you ever experience negative self-talk? You know what it sounds like, right? Things like, “I’m can’t do anything right,” “I’m not enough,” “I don’t have what it takes.”

We all attack ourselves with statements like this at some time or other. Not only are they not helpful, but they make your life more difficult, don’t they? In this video, I’d like to share a short mindset shift to help you defuse negative inner dialogue that might be undermining you.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus mentor, writer and hypnotherapist. These videos are dedicated to empower you to focus and align your heart with your vision so you can achieve your goals.

Negative self-talk sabotages you by discouraging you from trying something new, or from working to overcome obstacles. But those self-judgements and self-criticisms are simply opinions. They’re not facts. They come from the past, or from others who passed them onto you. Those negative statements are simply someone’s perspective, filtered through their ideas, beliefs and attitudes.

You may think that the statements might have been proven right, but that’s because you’ve trained your brain to make them right. Or make you think they’re correct. When you make unhelpful sweeping claims like this, they become a self-fulfilling prophecy. They’re not facts. They’re opinions that you’ve trained your mind to confirm for you.

When one of these statements makes its way into your awareness, realize it’s simply an opinion. Listen to it objectively. Can you learn anything from it? If not, dismiss it as a figment from the past that no longer has any validity. And replace it with a statement that is much more constructive and uplifting.

The more you substitute positive statements for negative ones, the more you’re training your brain to support your endeavors, so you can reach your highest potential.

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you’d like to be notified when I release more videos on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel and click on the bell. As always, stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, The Transformative Power of Self-Talk.

The Transformative Power of Self-Talk

The Transformative Power of Self-Talk

“We are what we think about all day long.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“We are what we think about all day long.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

You have, at your disposal, a very powerful tool that can reshape your brain and your mind, thereby transforming your life. You use it every day, consciously or unconsciously. Whether you call the process self-talk, affirmations or auto-suggestion, the results are the same. The thoughts and statements you repeat wire your brain and create your experience. 

Your Statements Change Your Brain

If your thoughts are generally positive, your brain builds neurons in areas of the brain that support motivation, constructive behaviors, and increased self-worth. However if you’re more pessimistic, the areas in your brain form more connections for anxiety, depression and self-doubt.

Your internal dialogue directs your attention, whether you habitually criticize, or deliberately boost your confidence. Your mind doesn’t distinguish or care if you use positive or negative statements. It creates the pathways you instruct it to. And those pathways then affect your thoughts, moods, actions and behaviors.

When you do something that falls short of your expectations, do you say, “I can’t to do anything right?” Or do you say, “Ok, I learned something and I’ll do better next time?” The way you talk to yourself affects how you behave. The first statement wires your brain to discourage you from trying again. The second wires you for creativity and to problem solve.

You Can Train Your Brain How to Think

You can intentionally train your mind how to think. I don’t mean tell yourself that, “I’m the greatest pianist of all time.” Your conscious mind would instantly deny that, and erase the effectiveness of the phrase. In this case, repeat something like, “My skills and abilities are improving every time I practice.”

When you choose the positive idea you want your brain to accept, make it one that is under your control and that’s believable. Repeat it over and over, out loud, flooding your brain with the statement. You need to pay attention to what you’re telling yourself so you build neurons that support your intention. By feeding your mind new, more positive statements, you’ll create new pathways in your brain that support optimism and empower your highest potential.

Affirmation:

I know the Universe wants to give me all the good I choose. I simply need to align my mind to receive that good. I am now choosing a greater good for myself and changing my brain and subconscious mind to accept it. I feed my mind with positive ideas that support healthy, happiness, and harmony. The more I focus on my good, the more good I experience.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

Guided Meditation to Align Your Heart with Your Vision

Guided Meditation to Align Your Heart with Your Vision

When your will, or what you consciously want, conflicts with your imagination, or what your subconscious is comfortable with, your imagination wins. But you can guide your imagination, and gently direct it to accept something better. This video leads you through a short guided meditation using a time-tested technique to dissolve internal resistance and gain the cooperation of your subconscious mind. Watch Guided Meditation to Align Your Heart with Your Vision.

Transcript:

Welcome to this month’s mindset tip. Did you know that when the vision for your goal and your heart are in conflict, your heart will prevail? In other words, when it’s your will versus your imagination, your imagination will win? This is the Law of Reversed Effect, an idea that psychologist Emile Coue originated.

But there is a way to direct the imagination, so that it more aligns with your will or goal. And that’s either through visualization or phrases that gently guide your subconscious mind, or imagination or heart, in the way you want.

I’d like to guide you through a very effective technique to help you bring your heart and vision into alignment. This will be by using relaxation and auto-suggestion, or affirmation or self-talk.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus mentor, writer and hypnotherapist. These videos are dedicated to empower you to focus and align your heart with your vision so you can achieve your goals.

As a hypnotherapist, I’ve led hundreds of people through this kind of process. It’s very effective and one you can do for yourself. This is only to give you the idea of how it can work for you.

If you choose, close your eyes.

Take 3 deep breaths, relaxing more with each one.

3, 2, 1.

Now, repeat your auto-suggestion or affirmation or self-talk phrase to yourself. Repeat it slowly, with feeling. It could be something like, “Every day, in every respect, I’m getting better and better.” Or, “Every day, in every way, my mind, body and affairs are becoming happier, healthier and more abundant.” Or, “I expect and accept that everything works out in my favor.” Or some other positive and constructive phrase that appeals to you. Let it sink in and integrate into your mind.

Open your eyes.

Now let it go. Your subconscious mind will do the rest. The more you repeat your phrase, in a relaxed state, the more your heart and vision will begin to align. This is a technique you can use for yourself every day, and even several times a day. For one thing, it’ll reduce stress, and who doesn’t want that?

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you’d like to be notified when I release more videos on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel and click on the bell. As always, stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, Overcome the Law of Reversed Effort, Part 2.

Overcome the Law of Reversed Effort, Part 2

Overcome the Law of Reversed Effort, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

“When the imagination and will power are in conflict, are antagonistic, it is always the imagination which wins, without any exception.” Emile Coue

Emile Coue was a psychologist and originated the Law of Reverse Effect concept in the late 1800’s. He studied under hypnotists of the time, and noticed that whenever your conscious mind (will power) and subconscious mind (imagination) are at odds, your subconscious will always win. Essentially, when you try to will yourself to do something that your subconscious mind objects to, you’re unlikely to succeed.

Your Subconscious Is Trying to Help

For instance, suppose you want to lose weight, but you want the piece of cake in front of you more. Trying to force your subconscious to comply, and resist the cake, will cause it to rebel. The cake is a more immediate pleasure. For you to be successful, your conscious mind and subconscious minds must align, and be in agreement, otherwise your subconscious will sabotage you.

Your subconscious was programmed with beliefs and ideas when you were younger, and it’s simply following its programming. It doesn’t realize that your life, needs and desires have changed. Your subconscious is trying to help you by resisting new ideas from your conscious mind. Your subconscious needs reassurance and convincing that it’s safe to accept what your conscious mind wants.

How to Overcome Subconscious Resistance

From his observation of hypnosis, Emile Coue developed the auto-suggestion method. He’s famous for formulating the phrase, “Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better,” and instructed his followers to say it while relaxed. In this way, he helped them overcome their subconscious resistance to change.

You can use this same auto-suggestion method, or the similar self-talk or affirmation concepts, to persuade your subconscious mind. Repeat general suggestions, like “Day by day…,” to gently gain your subconscious mind’s cooperation are useful to begin with. Once your subconscious mind’s resistance has reduced, you can use more specific suggestions about your goal.

Understanding how and why this Law works explains why you may have been blocked from succeeding in the past. With this knowledge, you now have the ability to overcome the Law, empowering you to improve your life and achieve your goals and dreams.

Affirmation:

Something wonderful is happening through my life right now. I know the Universe wants the best for me in all areas of my life. I expect and accept that everything works out in my favor. Every day, in every way, my mind, body and affairs are becoming happier, healthier and more abundant.

Read the first part of this article, Overcome the Law of Reversed Effort, Part 1.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

Surmount the Law of Reverse Effect

Surmount the Law of Reverse Effect

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Have you ever unsuccessfully tried to force your way through an obstacle? This generally just results in frustration and stress. Here’s a tip on how to overcome this tendency and maintain your peace of mind. Watch Surmount the Law of Reverse Effect.

Transcript:

Welcome to your monthly mindset tip. Have you ever found yourself trying to push through an obstacle, only for it to become more solid? I know I have. My mom used to say that, “Banging your head against a brick wall, will only get you a sore head.”

The Law of Reverse Effect, or Reversed Effort,  explains this tendency. The harder you try to force something, some action, some result, the more that energy is going to build to block you. That’s why it’s called the Law of Reverse Effect or Reversed Effort. Putting effort into a goal or activity is valuable, but when it’s not getting you anywhere, except a sore head, it’s time to try something else.

I’d like to share a tip on how to keep you from having a sore head.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus mentor, writer and hypnotherapist. These videos are dedicated to empower you to focus and align your heart with your vision so you can achieve your goals.

To surmount the Law of Reversed Effort, the first thing to do is to notice when you’re starting to feel pressure or frustration. Like you’re trying to force a particular result to happen.

When you recognize the stress building, find a way to shift your energy. Walk away from your efforts for a little while. Do something pleasant or enjoyable. I do this when I’m having trouble on a creative project, or even when my checkbook won’t balance. Give your subconscious mind some time and space to find a solution, a new insight or a new direction.

After you’ve restored your sense of balance, return to your endeavor and consider it from a fresh perspective. This will likely give you the breakthrough you need. And it will keep your composure, and head, intact. Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you’d like to be notified when I release more videos on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel and click on the bell. As always, stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, Overcome the Law of Reversed Effort, Part 1.

Overcome the Law of Reversed Effort, Part 1

Overcome the Law of Reversed Effort, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

“The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed.” Aldous Huxley

“The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed.” Aldous Huxley

Have you ever tried to force yourself to go to sleep? What about willing yourself to relax or meditate? Usually, the harder you try to do any of these the opposite happened. The more tense or more awake you got. This is called “The Law of Reversed Effort,” popularized by Aldous Huxley, or “The Law of Reverse Effect,” first described by Emile Coue.  

Willpower Alone Can Sabotage You

Whenever you try to compel yourself to do some action, you create stress, tension and anxiety. Tension shuts down your creative flow, and the flow of the Universe. Stress sabotages your automatic mental and muscle memory, much like an athlete who thinks too hard about their next move. Stress blocks your progress.

Have you ever tried to change a habit with sheer willpower? It’s like trying to hold water in your fist. There’s no room for the water in your fist, and it slips away. Putting more energy into pressuring yourself to do something stirs up resistance to accomplishing it. And the more effort you put into trying to push through, the more resistance there is.

As a result, you start to think negatively, which just makes things worse, and more difficult. It doesn’t matter if it’s trying to balance your checkbook, complete a project, or change a habit. The more you try to force an outcome, the less success you’ll have.  

How to Make Progress

Instead, you have to lighten up. Open up and relax your fist, and use it as a cup to gather water. Take a step back, and let your subconscious work on a better way of achieving your next step. Often, when I’ve hit a snag with a creative venture, like writing or weaving, I take a break. When I come back to it, the answer is there or the activity flows more smoothly. For instance, to go to sleep you have to allow drowsiness to creep through you.

Other ways to make progress are to take small steps. This results in small successes, which triggers your reward center, and gains the attention of your subconscious mind. You could also focus more on your process, the steps you’re taking, rather than your ultimate goal or vision. This reduces some of the pressure, and is a valuable technique when you’re struggling to get something done.

In part 2, you’ll learn about why the Law of Reverse Effect functions the way it does and one powerful way to overcome it. Read Overcome the Law of Reversed Effort, Part 2.

Watch the accompanying video, Surmount the Law of Reverse Effect.

Affirmation:

Instead of trying to force things to happen, I step back and allow them to take place. I now let go of all stress and tension. I open up to new ways and new ideas of doing things. By doing so, I allow the Universal flow of good to expand in my life. I’m guided by the Divine life within me to make the decisions and take the actions that benefit me the most.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

Rewrite the Stories Holding You Back

Rewrite the Stories Holding You Back

As children, we often believe false ideas about ourselves that adults told us. These ideas become beliefs, and we act on them as if they were true, even though they weren’t. You can begin to rewrite those old stories, using the simple exercise in this video. Watch Rewrite the Stories Holding You Back.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me for mindset tips.

Did you know that, as children, we believe stories about ourselves, and then act on them as if they’re true? A budding artist gets told by a teacher that she has no talent, so she abandons her passion. An elementary school teacher can’t explain math, then blames her students for being dumb when they don’t understand. In the years following, the students under perform in that subject. A frustrated parent lashes out and tells a child that they’ll never amount to anything. And the child grows up to sabotage themselves just before they’re about to succeed.

All of these opinions are demonstrably false, but the children who received them accepted the ideas were true. Then those children grew up acting on the lies, and those falsehoods became self-fulfilling prophecies. Do you carry any such stories that you believed that then became true for you?

Judgements that you’ve accepted about yourself were programmed into you earlier in life. Just because you believe them doesn’t make them accurate. I’d like to share a short, mindset exercise to help you begin to erase those lies and rewrite your story about yourself.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus mentor, writer and hypnotherapist. These videos are dedicated to empower you to focus and align your heart with your vision so you can achieve your goals.

Here’s the exercise. Divide a piece of paper into two columns. In the first column, write down something you’ve been believing, some judgement, some idea from childhood that’s been holding you back. Something like, “I’m not good enough.”

Beside it, in the second column, write, “That’s a lie” or “That’s a falsehood” or any other phrase that denies its validity.

Below, in the first column again, write the opposite of that false belief, such as, “I am enough.” Include comments from friends, co-workers, or even superiors that support your new idea about yourself.

Include any objective measurement that confirms this new belief. Then, in the second column, write, “This is the truth,” or “This is the fact,” or anything else that confirms it for you.

It may take some time, but this exercise will help you deconstruct childhood programming, and recognize and accept what is true about you. Keep repeating the new idea to yourself. As you do, you’ll begin acting on your new belief, which will change the course of your life for the better.

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you’d like to be notified when I release more videos on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel and click on the bell. As always, stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, What Stories Are You Telling Yourself That Are Holding You Back?