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“Expand Beyond Your Comfort Zone, Part 2”

“Expand Beyond Your Comfort Zone, Part 2”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

What is it that causes people to remain in their comfort zone? Many people have a fear of the unknown. When faced with a new situation, they don’t know if they can handle it, doubting their abilities. Just like I felt about my move.

A person may have a fear of responsibility. I know of people that have done menial jobs all of their lives, and turned down managerial duties because they didn’t want the additional authority. They’re very comfortable doing the duties they know, and don’t want to learn anything new. A nine to five job satisfies them, and they don’t want to have to expand their horizons.

For some, moving out of their comfort zone means that they’re afraid that they’ll lose control. A woman I knew had been very ill for several years.  Her family catered to her, and she didn’t have to deal with running a household. When she recovered, she continued to be treated like she was made of glass and would break at any time. She did nothing to contradict this. Her illness gave her control over her family, and she wasn’t going to give up that control.

Though her family assumed she wasn’t well enough to take care of the housework or the cooking, she was healthy enough to volunteer as an aide in a charity hospital. She was comfortable believing that she was an invalid, because she avoided responsibilities she didn’t want. If she had given up her invalid role, she would’ve lost the ability to control her family.

Even remaining at the same income level can be a way of staying in your comfort zone. Or not being able to exceed a certain amount in your savings account. Accepting only so much good in any one area is a way of keeping yourself in a situation that you’re familiar with. By doing so, you don’t have to handle the anxiety of any uncertainties. You’re on well-known terrain, and know all the hills and valleys.

Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“Expand Beyond Your Comfort Zone, Part 1”

“Expand Beyond Your Comfort Zone, Part 1”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Have you ever felt yourself being pulled in two different directions? Many years ago, I really wanted to move to Sedona. But when the time came to pack, I was reluctant to leave Houston, where I’d grown up. Even though I didn’t like my old home, it was a familiar place. I knew where things were, and what the environment was like. Sedona would be a complete change, from city to small town, from suburbs to the country. It was a change I desperately desired, but still it was scary.

Take a look at your life. Is it everything you want it to be? Are you as happy as you’d like? Do you have the prosperity you want, the relationships, the health? If you’re not experiencing all that you want in life, then you’re keeping yourself from it. Life wants to give you all the good you can hold. If you’re not constantly accepting more good in your life, you’ve settled into a rut. This is called a comfort zone. Everyone does this, in some way or other.

I’ve heard of prisoners who are freed, who have waited years to be released. But once they have their freedom, they can’t handle it. They’ve spent so many years having someone telling them when to eat, when to sleep, when to exercise, that they can’t function without anyone telling them what to do. Therefore, some former prisoners deliberately commit another crime simply to be caught and put back in prison. They have been forced out of their comfort zone, and want back in.

Most of us don’t have quite this extreme situation. But have you ever had an opportunity that you turned down out of fear? Some people will work hard to succeed, and just as it’s about to happen, they will sabotage it. They’ll forget a vital appointment, they’ll get sick, they’ll begin to drink, or insult the boss. Their comfort zone may not be comfortable, but it is familiar.

Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

3 Simple Ways To Cultivate Gratitude In Your Life

3 Simple Ways To Cultivate Gratitude In Your Life

Most people take their friends, talents and situations of their lives for granted. They don’t appreciate what they have until it’s not there. Here are 3 simple ways to learn how to be grateful for what you have and feel more connected to others.



Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“Gratitude: The Key To Cultivating A Positive Attitude” Part 2

“Gratitude: The Key To Cultivating A Positive Attitude” Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Research shows that nurturing a sense of gratefulness can:

1. Improve resiliency. It gives you greater internal resources to deal with the challenges that come up and allows you to bounce back faster. You’re better able to cope, more creative and have less stress overall.

2. Lift depression. People who are grateful experience less depression. By focusing on positive things in your life, you begin to change your mood. The pleasure circuits in the mind are engaged, which makes you feel better.

3. Make greater progress on goals. Those who regularly found things to be grateful for made better progress on goals, such as exercising more or getting better grades.

4. Have better relationships and more friends. Because you’re more at ease with yourself, people are more comfortable and open with you. You have a greater capacity for compassion, and tend to be more generous. This is a characteristic that attracts people to you.

5. Have improved job performance. Studies show students who practiced appreciation are more enthusiastic, alert, determined and improved their grade point average. That translates into having more resources to devote to work and greater success.

6. Experience better health. People who practice gratefulness have stronger immune systems, lower blood pressure, reduced heart disease and exercise more. They also live an average of seven years longer than those who don’t express thankfulness.

7. Be more optimistic. Grateful people are 25% happier than those who don’t feel this positive emotion. This helps you to feel happier and more positive despite what upsetting circumstances you’re experiencing.

These benefits increased when people kept a gratitude journal. Improve your outlook on life by writing down three things you’re grateful for each day. This simple practice will break the habit of looking for the negative in your life, and replace it will intentionally seeking the positive. And don’t think they have to be big things, like getting a raise or the day going smoothly. They can be small items, like seeing a beautiful sunset or connecting with a friend.

Research indicates that expressing gratitude using this journal writing exercise can improve your attitude within three weeks, and the results remain for at least six months. It trains the subconscious mind to seek out positive outcomes. When you seek something positive, you tend to find it. And this then creates new patterns in the mind to be more optimistic. It gently trains you to be more positive.

Plato said, “A grateful mind is a great mind that eventually attracts to it great things.” By showing appreciation for what you have in your life, it instructs the subconscious to find more to be thankful for. When you find yourself wanting to complain, stop and remind yourself to look for some blessing around you. It will help to shift your outlook to be more upbeat and you’ll feel more empowered.

Read Part 1 of Gratitude: The Key To Cultivating A Positive Attitude.

Affirmation:
Whenever something challenging comes up in my life, I deliberately look for something to be grateful for. As I cultivate this habit, I find that I’m happier and more optimistic. My mind begins to seek things to appreciate. And the good I focus upon increases. So everyday, I remember to be thankful for all the good that’s in my life.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“Gratitude: The Key To Cultivating A Positive Attitude” Part 1

“Gratitude: The Key To Cultivating A Positive Attitude” Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

It’s easy to complain about what you don’t have and bemoan what you’ve lost, especially in today’s economic climate. But doing so just feeds into a feeling of victim hood. That attitude doesn’t help create inner resources to deal with difficulties that appear. Instead, griping about life quickly erodes self-confidence, and creates a life full of dissatisfaction and anxiety. In that mindset, it’s almost impossible to succeed in anything. Complaining drains any possibility of progress from every area of your life.

One of the best ways to combat that downbeat attitude and formulate a more constructive outlook is to practice a sense of thankfulness. This doesn’t mean you deny unpleasant emotions and disappointments or ignore negative situations. It’s simply that you don’t focus on them or let them control you.

Being grateful is a conscious choice. Sometimes, you’re taught this valuable ability as you grow up, or you learn it as an adult. But it’s a trait that’s developed with consideration and awareness. And studies show that cultivating a sense of gratitude improves the quality of your life on every level.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Positive Thinking Isn’t Being “Pollyanna-ish”

Positive Thinking Isn’t Being “Pollyanna-ish”

I loved the Disney movie, “Pollyanna,” about a young girl sent to live with her aunt after the death of her parents. Pollyanna had a cheerful outlook and looked on the bright side of life. Unfortunately, her name became mistakenly synonymous with being naïve, wearing “rose-colored glasses,” or ignoring facts. That wasn’t her philosophy at all. Pollyanna simply looked for the best in each situation.

Over the years, positive thinking has also gotten the erroneous reputation of ignoring the negative. The common belief is that if you have a positive attitude, it means you must repress any distressing emotion, disregard negative circumstances, and dismiss reality.

That doesn’t accurately represent what optimism is. Being positive doesn’t mean you won’t grieve, feel sad, angry or get upset at times. It just means you allow yourself to experience the normal flow of those emotions and then begin to bounce back to a more positive frame of mind. Eventually, you’re able to view things in perspective, rather than wallow in the suffering.

When you’re positive, you don’t pretend that unpleasant occurrences don’t exist. You simply don’t focus on them. Recognizing reality is essential to formulate a constructive strategy to overcome obstacles. It’s like driving a car. You notice where the other cars are and what they’re doing, so that you can make informed decisions about how to avoid collisions. But you keep your gaze on the direction you’re going.

When you’re optimistic, you seek positive solutions and are open to possibilities. If someone calls me a “Pollyanna” in an attempt to put me down, I say “Thank you” because I know what its real meaning is. Smiling when pessimists want to spoil your day will make them nuts. It’s a win-win situation. Now that’s positive.

Guided Meditation To Release Resentment

Guided Meditation To Release Resentment

Resentment is one of the biggest obstacles to success and a happy life. If you continue to feel resentful against a person, job, political party, social class, or group of people, you have bound yourself to the very thing you dislike. Here’s a short guided meditation to begin to let go of the resentment you might have against those who have hurt you.



Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“Cleanse Your Mind Of Resentment, Part 2”

“Cleanse Your Mind Of Resentment, Part 2”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

You may hang onto resentment because you feel it protects you. It reminds you not to trust the person who hurt you or go back to the company that treated you unjustly. But you can learn that lesson, and avoid falling into that trap again, without it costing you.

There are definite consequences to holding onto grievances. Mark experienced all of these.

  • It makes you unpleasant to be around. People like to be around those who are positive, upbeat and cheerful. That does not describe someone with a grudge. The people you attract are going to be resentful and disgruntled like you.
  • It gives you an excuse for failing or committing yourself to your progress. Resentment can cause you to feel that nothing you do will make a difference. It sabotages your success and undermines your goals.
  • Holding a grudge siphons off enormous amounts of energy that could be channeled into accomplishment. It’s debilitating on every level.
  • It actually hands the control of your emotions and decisions over to others. You give them the power over whether you move forward or sit and stew.

When you’re resentful, it tells your subconscious that you want to have more to resent. Also, what you wish for others, your subconscious accepts as a wish for yourself. It’s the Law of Attraction. You attract what you focus on. Resentment is the biggest obstacle to achieving your desires and having more good in your life.

The opposite of hate or resentment isn’t love or approval. The solution to resentment is apathy. You don’t have to pardon the offense, just put it in the past. When you cease resenting others, you don’t care what they do or think. You’ve successfully detached yourself from them and the situation. It no longer affects you in any way. You’ve freed yourself and taken back your power. And this opens the way for success and a happy life.

Affirmation:

I now break the chains of resentment that have restricted my success and progress. Grudges no longer need to remind me to avoid toxic people and situations. I’ve learned my lesson and am able to successfully take care of my well-being in a constructive way. When I let go of past grievances, I reclaim my self-esteem and power. I now channel my energy into accomplishing my desires. Because I’m more upbeat, I attract more positive people and open the way for success.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“Life Is A Metaphor, Part 2”

“Life Is A Metaphor, Part 2”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

There’s an old saying, “What you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying.” We can’t hide from ourselves. It’s painted on the canvas of our lives. All we have to do is be aware.

  • Are you eating until you’re stuffed? What else are you stuffing? Hint: Generally it’s an emotion.
  • Does your house look nice and neat and tidy, but your drawers and closets can’t be opened for the mess? You haven’t assessed the outdated stuff of your life and released what’s no longer helpful.
  • Do people treat you like a doormat? That’s because you treat yourself that way by not standing up for yourself.
  • Are you working so hard, doing so much, that you don’t have time for that hobby you love? It’s because you haven’t made time for the hobby that you have so little free time.

Whatever your issue, look at how it’s outpicturing in your life. You’ll be able to recognize it in several areas, because it won’t just be reflecting in an isolated spot of your canvas.  It’ll be reflecting in your entire environment.

Our outer experience is simply a metaphor for the thought energy that’s in our minds. For instance, I have raced ahead so fast, that I haven’t processed much of the information that I’ve accumulated. Not only in my business, but also in my life. My piles were old, outdated information that either needed to be tossed away or filed.

I’d procrastinated filing anything because it was so hard to fit anymore into the crammed drawers of my file cabinets. Recently, I expanded my file drawers. Another metaphor. I’d needed to expand my vision. Now, I need to take the time to finish going through my stuff before I go any further. When I do it in one area, it’ll begin happening in the other areas as well. Only then will I begin to break free of my old restrictions and really accept more of Life.

Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Avoid “Hardening of the Attitudes”

Avoid “Hardening of the Attitudes”

I know that many books on success and mindset suggest you avoid negative people. It’s true that it’s so much easier to maintain a positive attitude when you’re around people who are also positive. Unfortunately, some people interpret that idea to mean that they should only associate with people who agree with them.

I recently had an experience that illustrated how limiting that could be. I had a short exchange with a businessman who believed that everyone wanted to improve themselves and be better at their jobs. His business was based on that assumption and he worked to improve employees’ skills.

From my experience with clients, I felt that although people might want to be better, they didn’t always want to do what was needed to get there. As soon as I expressed that concept to the gentleman, he ended the discussion. By turning away from a contradictory opinion, he refused to open his mind to different viewpoints. If he had, he might have been able to use them to improve his business.

When you avoid opinions that conflict with yours, it indicates that you’re not really confident of your position. If others’ ideas can affect you that easily, you’re not grounded in your own. Listening to what others think, and why, broadens your understanding so you can modify your ideas and help them grow stronger roots. It can also open the door to inspiration, which will allow you to reach greater heights.

So when you encounter someone with an opposing opinion, listen with an open mind. This is true in business, politics, relationships, and life. Avoid “hardening of the attitudes” and consider what they’re saying. It may change your ideas or strengthen your position. Only by associating with people who have varying opinions and experiences can you have a broader and deeper perspective.