personal growth – Page 33 – Empowering Your Mind

The Meaning Of Suffering

May 1, 2015 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

I know that some people and religious systems believe that we grow through suffering. Buddhism says, “All of life is suffering.” Catholicism infers that pain is good for the soul. I’ve heard it said that anguish intensifies our appreciation of good when it occurs. It’s supposed to cause us to seek deeper meanings to life, to become better people and more compassionate of others.

But I’ve known a lot of suffering people who weren’t growing in any way. Some adult survivors of abuse have felt victimized all of their lives and never tried to heal their wounds. An acquaintance developed cancer and, even when she went into complete remission, used it as an excuse not to participate in life. I knew an accident victim who felt entitled to not have to take responsibility for herself. Many emotionally wounded people inflict pain on others as a way to get momentary release from it.

Many people who are abandoned, rejected, can’t pay the bills, have chronic health problems, or are emotionally hurting, descend into a cycle of anger, resentment or despair that’s difficult to climb out of. If we’re overwhelmed by events out of our control, it can cause us to use up our mental and emotional resources to deal with the immediate problem. We may feel that we can’t handle any more, snap at those dear to us, and can become self-involved and self-pitying.

Suffering isn’t the same as sadness. Grief is an appropriate response to the loss of something dear to us. But eventually, our mourning passes, reduces or diminishes. However, there are some people who wallow in sadness and don’t move beyond it.

So I don’t believe that suffering, in and of itself, causes people to grow. As with anything else, how it affects us depends on how we perceive it. We need to be willing to seek the meaning in it. Although we might not be able to control events, we do have complete control over the way we think about them. Sometimes pain pushes us to quit trying to control our environment and to give up control to the Universe. Instead of trying to make the outcome fit our picture, we release and let the Infinite manage our affairs.

Many times, our resisting letting go of something that has outlived its usefulness or not moving forward causes anguish. When we oppose growth, then we create a resistance with the Universe. The intent of the Universe is to expand. By not letting ourselves grow, we create pain and suffering. There is a saying in the fitness industry “no pain, no gain.” I disagree. If we’re having pain, then we’re probably resisting growth, or we could be trying to move forward too quickly. Just like the pain of an overworked muscle.

If we’re trying to push through something, it may be that other things are at work behind the scenes, and it’s not time for the goal to come through, as hard as it is to accept that. Don’t try to “white knuckle” it and force it to happen. That will only create more resistance and pressure. Visualize the desired outcome and ask for the next step to be revealed.

There are times when all we can do is endure a difficult period, wait for things to improve and find something good in the situation. I remember hearing someone say, “Every challenge brings a gift.” When we seek meaning and the benefit from the circumstances, we will find them. Usually, there’s some message for us that we can absorb and use as a building block.

Many years ago, I had a friend who decided to erase the old idea that we only learn from problems. She set her intention to learn her lessons with joy instead of suffering and it worked for her. Recently, I’ve been following her example and working on letting things flow easily and harmoniously. As a result, several small miracles have occurred.

The Universe didn’t create a world full of suffering. Anguish is our response to a situation that doesn’t fit our view of how things should be. Suffering, in itself, doesn’t cause us to grow. We need to find the meaning in it, seek the lesson, let go control, and ask for guidance. As a spiritual text says, “Seek and ye shall find.” When you change your perspective of the situation, then not only will you grow from it, but your experience of it lightens.

Affirmation

I release the old idea that suffering is good for the soul. I let go of my preconceived notions about how a difficult situation should be and seek the meaning of it to help me grow and evolve into a more compassionate, wiser person. Keeping my mind focused on my desired outcome, I’m open to guidance about the next step. I’m willing to let go control of the result, and let the Universe manifest its Goodness. I set my intention to now learn my lessons with ease, harmony and joy.

As a speaker, personal and professional development coach and hypnotherapist, Linda-Ann Stewart empowers business and professional women who are stuck, immobilized or overwhelmed to get focused, prioritize and break through their inner barriers so they generate more business. If you’d like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with “Complimentary Consultation” in the subject line.

The Secret of Using Stress to Grow

April 1, 2015 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Stress has gotten to be a hot button issue in our society. We read articles, books, take classes and seminars to manage and reduce our stress. The message we get is that we need to completely eliminate stress from our lives. But common, everyday stress isn’t the real culprit that causes all of the trouble.

Hans Selye, a researcher, coined the term “stress,” and made the distinction between stress and distress. Distress is when we have so much going on internally or externally that our mental and emotional resources are overwhelmed. We all know what it’s like to have a deadline for a project, a loved one sick, the car break down, and, as a result, be irritable or exhausted. This kind of trouble, if it continues for a period of time, will begin to affect not only our mental health, but our physical health. This is what all the talk about stress is addressing.

Believe it or not, everyday stress can be a good thing. If we just coast through life, we don’t learn anything. With no challenges, no obstacles to overcome, we don’t develop new ways of dealing with things. Think of the old adage, “Necessity is the mother of invention.” Every discovery was created to fill a need and deal with a problem.

The telephone makes it easier for us to communicate. When it was first developed, people couldn’t see a need for one in every house. Now, many people can’t imagine being without one for even a second. I’m not going to comment on whether cell phones are a good or bad thing. It’s just that the invention of the telephone originally was created to fill a need.

The way we get physically stronger is to exercise. When we lift weights, do yoga, or hike, we’re stressing and stretching our muscles. If we don’t do that, then we lose the ability to get around. In much the same way, we evolve by stretching ourselves. As long as we do the same thing every day, we don’t expand.

About twenty-five years ago, I got involved in a multitude of organizations. I had no personal time and was doing too much. It caused me to go into distress, and my health began to suffer. However, it was also a wondrous time as it helped me overcome personal limitations and expand spiritually. Because I was willing to stretch myself, I reaped enormous benefits.

The problem comes when we get our schedules so packed that we don’t have time for ourselves or things that bring us joy. Even a plant needs space to be able to grow and expand its roots. When we don’t have enough breathing room to process what’s going on in our lives, then we go into a distressed mode because we’re simply running from crisis to crisis. Even when we exercise, we have to let our bodies rest and recuperate from their workout to actually build muscle tissue.

Beginning to feel overwhelmed, getting sick, and feeling exhausted is a good signal it’s time to pull back. When I found I was over involved, I eliminated several of the activities I’d been involved in. Later on, I rejoined a couple of groups, but made sure I could say “no” if I began to feel overwhelmed again.

When we’re beginning to feel stagnant, bored or stuck, then it may be a sign for us to try a new path and step out of our comfort zone. During that stressful period of my life, some of my activities included holding responsible positions in a couple of community organizations, acting in theater productions, and helping with all aspects of publicity for the theater company. All of it was new to me. But by stretching myself, it gave me access to new internal resources, confidence in my abilities and broke through internal blocks.

Learning to create a balance between stretching ourselves, and distressing ourselves, takes some practice. Feeling inundated, and like we don’t have time to breathe may mean it’s time to take a break and assess what’s going on in our lives. However, if we’re too comfortable and in a rut, it might be a good time to take a class or get involved in some new interest. There is a happy medium between standing still and racing out of control. Personal development and spiritual evolution comes from slightly stressing and stretching ourselves and expanding into something new.

Affirmation

I take stock internally to assess whether I need my life to slow down or to reach out for more stimulation. The Universe guides me in what to do about this. If I need to reduce my stress, I am Divinely inspired in how to do so. If I need to stretch myself more, I am directed to the Divine Right activities. I learn how to balance my life, so that I release old limitations and expand into living life fully. All that I need is provided.

As a speaker, personal and professional development coach and hypnotherapist, Linda-Ann Stewart empowers business and professional women who are stuck, immobilized or overwhelmed get focused, prioritize and break through so they reduce stress and generate more business. If you’d like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with “Complimentary Consultation” in the subject line.

Is there a secret to recovering one’s self-esteem?

March 27, 2015 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: Is there a secret to recovering one’s self-esteem?

Answer: It isn’t easy to reclaim yourself and your self-worth. It’s probably one of the hardest things a person can do, and yet, it’s at the foundation of everything we experience. Which may be why it can be so hard.

Imagine that your being was fragmented in childhood because of your family. You’re going to have to find those pieces, or make new ones, to put yourself back together again. However, each tiny step you take will take you in the right direction.

Sometimes, there will be two steps forward and one back. That’s normal. Not only are you simply firming up your progress by taking the step back, but the subconscious may feel uncomfortable with your progress.

Your subconscious doesn’t like change, and it’s trying to keep you safe in the environment that you no longer live in. It just needs to get the message that it’s safe now for you to have your own beliefs, a sense of self-worth, self-trust and confidence.

When you dedicate yourself to be there for yourself, the subconscious mind and the Universe will support you. It’s not that there won’t be any bumps along the way – that’s how we get stronger. But if you are committed to your well-being, and do all you can for it, then you will begin to feel better.

This won’t happen overnight. It will take some time, and it takes consistency. An affirmation that you can use is: “I accept my True Worth.”

Let Your Light Shine

March 2, 2015 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

As a child, I learned to avoid calling attention to myself. Whenever I excelled at anything positive, friends, classmates and some adults criticized and condemned me. Achievement meant being a target with no protection. Therefore, I tried to fit into the crowd and become invisible. I hid my talents, intelligence and abilities to avoid being hurt.

Growing up, I noticed that some people craved attention so much that they’d sacrifice everything for it. And then there were those who want the world to revolve around them. Everything was about them and they stole the credit from those who deserved it. I began to associate being noticed to these types of people and I didn’t want to be like them. Over and over again, I heard the same thing from clients and people I knew. Being visible was threatening and distasteful, and it was safer to hide in the shadows.

Many of them seek work in the background, where they’re the most comfortable. They feel their mission is to support others. Unfortunately, they’re uncomfortable to even receive compliments or acknowledgement. But to succeed, advance, or fulfill their purpose, they have to be able receive recognition, and that’s incredibly unpleasant for them.

A few years ago, I was amazed to discover that some people considered being the center of attention a good thing and something to pursue. I finally realized that there are some people who enjoy being in the limelight, who do so to help others. At last, I understood that if we want to be of service, in any way, we have to let others know what we have to offer.

In “Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow,” Marsha Sinetar says that creative and gifted people tend to shun attention. They do so to avoid being rejected, criticized, and having to deal with the hostility and jealousy of others. But in so doing, they can’t live up to their potential. The seek comfort and safety, preferring to be unfulfilled rather than deal with the challenge and distress that visibility brings.

An artist friend of mine has said that if she doesn’t paint and show it to the world, then she’s not honoring the gift that God gave her. This is true of us all. When we don’t use our God-given talents and abilities, and reveal them, then we’re not fulfilling our purpose. They were bestowed on us for a reason, to share with others. If we don’t express them, then we’re not living up to our potential. And if we don’t let others know what we have to offer, even when we work in supportive positions, then we’re trying to avoid our responsibility to ourselves and the Universe.

The true role of advertising and marketing is to let people know what’s available. If a person doesn’t know a solution exists to solve their problem, then it remains forever unsolved. Being visible and allowing people to know our capabilities isn’t bragging, but informing. We’re performing a service by letting others know. Some people won’t need what we offer, some won’t like it, but others will honor and value it. And it will meet their needs.

It still can be scary to be visible, but we have resources and knowledge as adults that we didn’t have when we first learned to hide. When someone is jealous, it’s helpful to realize that it’s their issue, and not about us. We shouldn’t try to “hide our light under a bushel,” but to let it shine into the world so that people see what we can offer and be an answer to their prayers. Only then will we begin to live up to our potential, be successful and experience a sense of fulfillment.

Affirmation

I have gifts that were bestowed upon me by the Universe, and it is my responsibility to express and share them. When others criticize, are jealous or hostile, it’s their issue, not mine. By expressing my talents and abilities, and allowing others to know about them, I’m fulfilling my potential. It’s now safe for me to be visible. I now gratefully accept compliments, acknowledgement and recognition. I let my light shine into the world.

Overcome The Falsehood Of Fear

January 13, 2015 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Many years ago, I decided to overcome my fear of acting. Instead of diving in, I attended an audition for a play at the local community theater to familiarize myself with the process. This lowered my anxiety threshold, and I made plans to ease into auditioning for a play a few months later.

The Universe had other ideas. The director insisted I audition for that play and gave me a supporting role in it. Within weeks of committing myself to overcoming my fear of acting in front of an audience, I was officially a thespian.

The only thing that had prevented me from doing this before was my fear. I was afraid I’d forget my lines or my blocking, and panic if something unexpected happened. None of those fears were based on reality. They were simply excuses to keep me from fulfilling a goal.

As a survival instinct, fear’s mission is to give you the energy to fight or flee from a physical danger. But the mind doesn’t distinguish between a real or imagined, physical or emotional threat. It reacts to the image in your mind. Whether the image comes from your eyes or your imagination doesn’t matter. Your mind acts on it in the same way. Only when the hazard is real is the instinct a positive response.

Most of what you fear is a lie. Unless it’s acting as a survival instinct against physical injury, fear is an emotion that’s based on your beliefs. The emotion is an attempt by older thought patterns to keep you safe. Those thoughts were developed in an environment that no longer exists. If you didn’t have those beliefs, you wouldn’t feel fear.

Those patterns were designed specifically to convince you that you couldn’t survive if the worst happened. Fear of rejection, disapproval, failure, disappointment, responsibility, and success are just a few reasons why this emotion keeps you stuck. What you tell yourself about a situation becomes an autosuggestion that reinforces the feeling. This makes you think it has more validity than it actually does and strengthens its grip on you.

As a child, you were taught to cross the street by looking both ways to make sure there weren’t any cars coming. That’s normal caution. You check to see if there’s danger coming, and if there isn’t, you move ahead. But you could continue to look both ways forever and never commit to crossing the road. In this case, you’d be stuck in paralyzing fear.

The autosuggestion that created your belief is mutable. You created it and you can change it. Changing the belief changes the emotion. For instance, you can realize that you now have experience, knowledge and resources you didn’t have when the old thought patterns were created.

If you ask for a raise and get turned down, you’ll be disappointed. But you won’t be devastated as you might have been as a child when something similar happened. Speaking up for yourself and getting belittled is upsetting, but it doesn’t have to destroy you anymore. You can even find help from people and places if need be.

When you take a deep breath and forge ahead, the Universe comes in to support and guide you. Opportunities, contacts, resources, knowledge and anything else you need ambles into your path. Your energy is directed towards your goal, instead of toward playing it safe and staying put.

When fear comes up in your life, assess it to see if it’s realistic or valid. If not, remind yourself that it’s a lie, trying to fool you to believing there’s danger where none exists. Once you’ve established that it’s safe to move forward, fear is no longer helpful. Commit yourself to your vision and dedicate yourself to moving forward. Fear begins to dissipate when you prove to yourself that its message is false.

After that first play, I acted in three more. I remembered my lines, blocking, choreography and easily handled unexpected situations that arose onstage. It was a magnificent time in my life. I enjoyed it, grew from it, and became a different person because of it. When you stop letting fear rule your actions, your life will change. Not only will it be richer and freer, but also you’ll be more satisfied and fulfilled.

Affirmation

Fear is a false idea that simply comes from my old beliefs. Beliefs that my mind has created, my mind can also change. I remind myself that fears are simply to caution me. The Universe protects and guides me in the right direction. Whatever I need to fulfill my goal appears, as I need it. As I commit myself to moving forward, the next step unfolds for a richer and fuller life.

Brian Tracy – 7 Steps to a Positive Personality

October 9, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart

In this video, bestselling author and speaker Brian Tracy describes how to develop a positive attitude. A positive personality will have more effect on your success and happiness than anything else. Although the video text asserts it will help you double your sales, his instructions apply to success in every aspect of life. He describes the ways to build yourself up and fill yourself with constructive ideas. Following these steps will attract success and create happiness in your life.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

What Habits Are You Cultivating?

August 26, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart

Like everyone, you have habits that make your life run smoother. You don’t have to think about whether you put your right or left shoe on first. Brushing your teeth is part of your morning and evening ritual. When you drive to work, you follow the same route you’ve followed for years. Habits free your mind to attend to more important details, like planning your day, deciding on dinner and formulating that email to an important client.

But not all habits are helpful. These are ones that don’t give you the results you want. They may be physical habits, such as eating too much at a meal which causes you to gain weight. Or they might be mental habits of self-doubt that undermine your success. Some are outdated, formulated to help you when you were younger but no longer serve a purpose. Procrastination, perfectionism and seeking approval fall in this category.

Habits develop by what you pay attention to and repeatedly act on. You make small decisions each day, that compound over time. They create pathways in the brain, and you eventually operate on them automatically.

You can choose what your habits are, by consciously deciding on specific actions and following through on them. Or you can drift, and choose the easiest course. Taking the path of least resistance may be the simplest in the short run, but it will probably detour you from your desired goal. And this, too, may become a habit.

Just as you exercise your body to make it stronger, you have to repeatedly choose constructive actions and thoughts you want to make into habits if you want a better life.

Athletes train their reflexes and to build muscle-memory. This allows them to respond more quickly to specific situations, such as a starter pistol or ball coming at them. They perform in the way they’ve trained to achieve maximum results. They’ve drilled the reaction into their bodies. In a competition, they don’t have to think about how they’re going to respond, they just do it. Each movement was considered and implemented ahead of time to result in a specific outcome.

Are your habits positive or negative, beneficial or self-sabotaging? What routines have you created for yourself? Do they further your success or have they undermined it? What behaviors have you cultivated in your life? If you want to make a change in your life, practice different thoughts and actions. The Law of Attraction will then begin drawing better conditions to you.

Here are some tips to help you create new habits.

Decide on your outcome. Do you want to have a healthier lifestyle, more friends or greater success? What do you have to do to achieve that? Develop a series of steps that will take you in the direction of your goal.

What do you have to let go of? Whenever you invite a new idea into your life, you have to let go of something else. If you want to exercise more and be healthier, you have to leave the comfort of the sofa. To reduce weight, you have to reduce portions and avoid fast food. For greater prosperity, you have to release the belief in lack.

Compare each choice to your goal. Ask yourself, “Does this bring me closer to it or push me farther away?” It may be tempting to ease off if you’re overwhelmed, but you will ultimately pay the cost of a delayed or sabotaged achievement. Persist each day, one decision at a time. Those decisions build up to create the habits you want.

Be careful about what you say to yourself. The statements you make to yourself will either support and encourage you, or undermine your progress. Pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself about your intention, and make it positive. Habits are created by what we focus on, because action follows attention.

Ultimately, to create a new habit, you have to break the old one. Then you have to substitute the new decision in its place. When you’re consistent and persistent in your actions, you’ll develop your new habit within a short time.

It may not be easy, because your subconscious doesn’t like change. But your determination and resolve will persuade your inner mind to support you on your quest. Stay the course and soon you’ll have cultivated a habit that produces the results you’re seeking.

Affirmation
I create habits by what I pay attention to and act on. My decisions now align with the success that I deserve and create the habits that bring the outcomes I desire. I easily make the necessary shifts, knowing that the Universe is on my side. My thoughts, words and deeds now reflect the path I choose to take in creating the life I want.

As a speaker, personal and professional development coach and hypnotherapist, Linda-Ann Stewart empowers business and professional women who are stuck, immobilized or overwhelmed get focused, prioritize and break through so they generate more business and create consistent income. If you’d like some help in reaching your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with “Complimentary Consultation” in the subject line.

Empowering Your Mind

Mindset, Motivation and Empowerment

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Tag: personal growth

The Meaning Of Suffering

May 1, 2015 Linda-Ann Stewart

The Secret of Using Stress to Grow

April 1, 2015 Linda-Ann Stewart

Is there a secret to recovering one’s self-esteem?

March 27, 2015 Linda-Ann Stewart

Let Your Light Shine

March 2, 2015 Linda-Ann Stewart

Overcome The Falsehood Of Fear

January 13, 2015 Linda-Ann Stewart

Brian Tracy – 7 Steps to a Positive Personality

October 9, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart

What Habits Are You Cultivating?

August 26, 2014 Linda-Ann Stewart