attitude – Page 46 – Empowering Your Mind

A Positive Mindset Is More Important Than Skillset In Business

June 9, 2011 Linda-Ann Stewart

Even with incredible knowledge, abilities and skills, your beliefs and attitudes can hold you back in all areas of life. This is especially true in the work arena. If you have a negative mindset, it can cost your job or a promotion.

In a recent study, Harvard lecturer, Paul Stoltz and recruiter, James Reed surveyed thousands of employers. They discovered an overwhelmingly majority of employers, 98%, considered mindset to be the most important thing in hiring.

81% of employers considered it more important than skillset when granting a raise. And a whopping 91% chose it as vital when giving a promotion. Employers would trade 7.2 normal employees for 1 with a winning attitude.

So create a strong winning, positive attitude and mindset to find, keep and excel at your job. You can always develop better skills once you have this foundation.

Book Review-“Embracing Your Inner Critic: Turning Self-Criticism into a Creative Asset”

June 6, 2011 Linda-Ann Stewart

“Embracing Your Inner Critic: Turning Self-Criticism into a Creative Asset”
by Hal Stone and Sidra Stone

Review by Lorna Stewart

I found this book to be eye opening. The authors urge us to become aware of that inner voice that constantly criticizes us for everything we do — or do not do. This voice will even bring up things from the distant past, for instance, “Why didn’t you write and thank Aunt Bertha for the birthday card?” Never mind that the card was sent 63 years ago and that it — and Aunt Bertha– have been dust for fifty-five of them. Once we become aware of the voice and its messages we can begin to take
steps to change the messages.

The key to doing this is to recognize that the frantic criticism is, in reality, a frantic call for help! Help in handling a situation that has gotten out of hand. The Inner Critic is frightened! By finding out what is threatening it and offering support in dealing with the situation you can enlist its help on finding out just what issues need to be addressed — and then addressing them. The big difference is that now you must take responsibility for solving the problems. In other words you must move from the passive to the active role.

It is an excellent book…not an easy read because it is jam packed with new concepts. But stick with it. I think you will be well rewarded.

You Can Only Change Yourself

June 2, 2011 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Many years ago, I was in a relationship with someone who took me for granted. On a 100-degree day in May, I waited outside in the shade for an hour for him to come meet me. When he finally arrived, he had a great excuse. After a couple of similar incidents, I realized it was a pattern, and made a different decision. I couldn’t change him or control his actions, but I could certainly change how it affected me and my actions.

The only person you can truly change is yourself. When someone treats you with less than respect, you can go into victim mode and feel helpless, or you can choose a more empowered way to respond to it.

You may have a co-worker who lives to criticize, a boss who micromanages, an adult child who is self-destructive, or an abusive spouse. All of these are difficult situations and relationships. If you could fix them easily, they would already be resolved. But it’s not about fixing, it’s about responding to them in a different way.

1. Love yourself. Love yourself enough not to sacrifice your well being to their insensitivity. The Universe doesn’t want you hurt in this way. Have compassion for yourself and for them. They have their own connection to their inner selves and don’t need you to cater to their demands. If your best friend were having the same experience you are, what would you suggest they do?

2. Take your power back. You aren’t at their mercy. How long are you going to let them control your feelings? There are things you can do to circumvent their inconsiderate treatment of you. Some of these strategies take action on your part. When one person changes in a relationship, the dynamics of the relationship change. The other person sometimes changes as a result. Or they can escalate their demands and abuse to try to force you back into the familiar role. But taking back your power puts you into a pro-active rather than re-active position.

3. Change the way you think about it. It’s not about them. It’s about you and your well being. You aren’t the target. They’re doing what they are because they’ve gotten away with it for so long. Nobody has held them accountable for their actions. They may act this way to feel powerful, or for some other reason. But their excuse isn’t important. No matter what you do, it’ll never be enough for them.

Sometimes, you can’t just tell them to take a hike. It may be counter-productive to your bank account or downright dangerous to confront them. There are many resources on how to deal with bullies, difficult or toxic people. Search for them and find techniques that will work for you. The bottom line is, how can you deal with them while taking care of yourself?

A year after the first incident with my then boyfriend, I was once again waiting outside in the heat for him to meet me. However, this time, after twenty minutes, I left. When he called me later, he had a great excuse again.

“That’s fine,” I said. “But in the future, I’ll only wait fifteen to twenty minutes. If you don’t show up, I’ll leave.” He argued with me, rationalized his actions, but I held firm. I wasn’t going to be left outside twiddling my thumbs and risking heatstroke again.

The choice was his. Either meet me when he said he would, or I’d leave. Simple. I let him know what the consequences of his decisions would be and followed through on it. Interestingly enough, after he did it one more time and I carried out my promise, he never made me wait again. I didn’t change him at all. All that changed was the way he treated me.

Affirmation:

I let go of trying to change other people, and concentrate on my own beliefs and behaviors. Everyone has the same access to their own power and inner self. I love myself enough to care for my well being and allow others to do the same. I am now in charge of my feelings, and know that I have the power to make positive changes in my life. I’m Divinely guided to the best way to constructively cope with difficult people while taking care of myself.

“Remove Mind Tattoos” from wikihow

May 27, 2011 Linda-Ann Stewart

from wikiHow – The How to Manual That You Can Edit

“Mind tattoos” are mental imprints. Though not physically visible, these manifest themselves in your actions, reactions, and thought processes, and more often than not, they are a negative imprint. If body tattoos are exhibits, might we not view mind tattoos as inhibits?

Unable to be concealed no matter how hard you try to cover them up with excuses, distractions, or addictions, mind tattoos harm you through their persistence and habitual nature. However, with small effort and much resolve, it is possible to shed your mind tattoos. On paper the recipe is very simple, and certainly it will be harder to actually implement, but once you’re resolved to deal with your mind tattoos, and once you dedicate yourself to this task, your life will take a turn for the better.

Steps

Use the simple displacement method. Mind tattoos and negative mindsets grow in a vacuum. Do not allow such a vacuum to be created in your mind. Increase your curiosity for things around you and beyond, allow yourself the privilege to be wonder-struck. Let the newness of every moment tickle your senses. Question yourself, keep asking what, why, when, where and how. A questioning mind is an open mind. It is not a knowing mind (the knowing mind soon leads to arrogance and shutting down on newness). Only an open mind can be creative. A knowing mind can never be creative.
- When you open your mind, it can be filled with creativity, positivity and newness. Negative mindsets and tattoos will be displaced and deleted.
- A questioning stance sensitizes the mind in a very special way, enabling it to sense what would have been missed otherwise.
Come out of the mindset of blame games. The most damaging tattoo is the tendency to look for and find a scapegoat for every situation. Release yourself from the tendency of being problem averse and for shifting away responsibility. Stop wringing up your hands whenever there is a problem; while it is good to hope for a life without problems, realistically it is possible only when you work to make your problems surmountable, by cultivating a problem-friendly attitude. This means just rolling up your sleeves whenever you’re faced with a problem, and searching for an opportunity to improve the quality of your life by dealing with the problem. Being faced with a problem is never a problem. It is way of life and once you have woven problem-solving into the matrix of your life, you will feel stronger, more capable, and freer of the negative mind tattoos.

Open your mind to ideas from friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. A tattooed mind is beset with preconceived ideas and closed to suggestion from outside. Open up your thinking to the ideas, opinions, and viewpoints gathered from your friends, colleagues, and even from strangers. Once you realize the value of these alternative ideas and views, you will be in a position to start using your increased understanding and empathy to improve the quality of your own thought and decision processes.

Set achievable goals, and achieve set goals. A major reason for negative thought process is failure on personal or professional front; not just failure though – it is the failure to learn and grow from failure, to accept it as part of life’s lessons. The negative thinking can set in when personal or professional goals are not properly set. An improper understanding of your strengths or constraints often results in goals being not properly set and many excuses being made to sidestep developing a purpose to your life. In letting others make the decisions and change the rules on you, you drift rather than achieve through life. Instead, know yourself, understand yourself, and be yourself when setting your goals. This way you can be successful in setting and achieving your goal and keep failure out of your door. Moreover, do not be dissuaded by the failures but see them as detours that teach what to do better next time.

Come out of the habit of perennial dissatisfaction. Perennial dissatisfaction is a major indication of a person with a negative mindset; a positive thinker can spot such a person a mile away and will do their best to steer clear (hence, you attract more negativity than its opposite). It is good to be acutely aware of your dissatisfaction and unfulfilled desires. However, this awareness should not frustrate you or cause you to give up citing everything as being “too hard” or “all over”. Even if you are frustrated, it should never be reflected in your behavior toward other people. As a matter of fact, you should use this awareness as a stimulus to realize your dreams, and to be grateful for that which you have achieved already. See How to Stop Feeling Like Your Life Isn’t Good Enough.

Don’t overestimate the effects of your level (or lack) of schooling. A feeling of being uneducated or inadequately educated is one of the biggest self-destructing tattoo one can carry around. But higher level schooling can also imprint more negative tattoos: arrogance, self-righteous behavior, and greater dissatisfaction with one’s lot in life or sensitivity to past failures. Whatever category you fall into, understand that schooling is different from education. Education is sourced from life itself, the people you meet, the things you discover, and the environment in which you move and observe daily. Very often people with less or no schooling are found to be highly educated in matters of life and other way round. Less schooled people are often highly successful because they have minds clear of the biases that schooling can build into us. The more highly schooled who have simply associated their learning with being of a “higher status” might actually lack openness to new ideas and empathy for others, so they wind up less likely to succeed. Both would do better to
- realize that universities and degrees do not determine your level of your education and do not even determine a person’s all-round intelligence or suitability for the rest of life.
- Instead, figure out what you still need to learn and find the fastest way to learn it.
Reframe your situation from different angles. A situation often appears to be hopeless and irretrievable. In many cases, such catastrophizing does not ultimately turn out to be true, especially where it is based on allowing ourselves to be the victim and to imagine things that are not there. Try to reframe the situation from different angles till you find an angle from where it looks acceptable. For example, in a cricket match in a close run-out decision, sometimes it appears that the batsman is out; however, reframing it from different angles gives the umpire more options of viewing the truth and taking correct decision. Similarly, being your own inner umpire (referee) by mental reframing of the situation often helps you to make the correct decision.

Tattoo your mind with conscious, positive thoughts. What we tattoo on any part of the body for others to see is not as important as what we tattoo in our minds. Much of what is tattooed there has been absorbed from the criticisms, expectations, and limitations placed upon us by other people; they are not wanted or chosen tattoos but they are embedded out of obligation, loyalty, misplaced trust, and over-eagerness to please the other. On the other hand, positive, successful, energetic mind tattoos are a must to attain success and are tattoos that we can choose to implant and thrive from. So, it should be your conscious (and ultimately subconscious) endeavor to keep tattooing your mind with thoughts that are only about winning or thriving. Implant and nourish the tattoos that reflect who you want to be, the goals you want to reach, and the successes you seek to achieve. Mentally, make or choose your day’s outcomes for the day every single day.
- Focus doesn’t simply sprout unaided. It requires effort and conscious attention. However, once you are focused, you can achieve a great deal of your heart’s desire because you’re consciously attending to what needs to be done, as well as channeling your subconscious experience more effectively.

Tips

Be very careful when implementing the process of removing your negative tattoos. It is necessary to restrain your feelings and impulses.
While you are going through this reform process, people around you could be the biggest inhibiting factors for you. Please be patient with them and be determined in your objective. Sometimes the fears and insecurities of others mean that they want us to stay where we are and not change or improve but you cannot bear their burdens for them, you can only choose to be a better person for yourself.
Take the advice and guidance of peers and elders. While you do not have to heed all that is said, other people’s experiences are important sources of information and guidance to set you on the better path through avoiding the pitfalls that they experienced. Remember that reinventing the wheel is a waste of your time when you stand in front of many generations’ of experience.
Thriving is better than winning at someone else’s expense. In the long run it helps you sleep better at night and gives you more future resources. If you step on people during the climb, they’ll kick you hard on the way down and remember exactly who you are.

Warnings

Give yourself time. Expecting too much too early can result in disappointment and frustration.
Your mental tattoos are well entrenched and may resist evacuation initially. You need to be persistent and confident. You can, and you will, release your mind from them.
Filter the advice that comes in from other people with trial and error. Try it honestly but when the trial fails, look at why. They can be right for themselves and wrong for you. Sedentary people can get sick from lack of exercise but a disabled person can get sick from exercise. If those other people have the same mind tattoos, they can often just reinforce them – it didn’t just crop up on its own. Don’t let them just hand the same biases back to you with a new set of intellectual rationalizations. Your mind tattoos came from somewhere so consider the source and weigh ideas for themselves.
If your friends and enemies both agree on something about you, it’s probably true or something about you makes people see you that way.

Things You’ll Need

A strong resolve
Self realization
A will to change
Dedication
Sacrifice

Related wikiHows

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Remove Mind Tattoos. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Embracing a Wider Perspective

May 23, 2011 Linda-Ann Stewart

When you leap forward in personal growth, it can be disorienting. You’ve outgrown your old awareness and have to change the way you respond to life. You can’t go back to the old way, or put the genii back into the bottle. Here are a couple of strategies that can help re-orient you to your new inner landscape.

Will negative statements erase positive affirmations for a friend?

May 18, 2011 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: If one person is affirming something positive for a friend, while someone else is speaking negatively to that friend, will that affect the first person’s affirmation?

Answer: If one person is affirming something for someone else, the receiver may or may not accept the blessing of the affirmation. For instance, a person can affirm health for a loved one, but the loved one has to accept the idea of health for the affirmation to be fulfilled. They have free choice as to whether to experience it or not. Why would someone not want to have a better life? There are many reasons for that.

And if someone else is affirming something negative, the receiver will accept whatever they identify with the most. Their dominant attitude will lean them in the direction of the most familiar. For example, suppose you give a compliment to someone. If they have a good self-image, they’ll just say “Thank you.” However, if they lack self-esteem, most likely they’ll negate whatever the compliment was.

What a person can do to help is to include a statement in their affirmation to give the person the free will to accept the substance of the affirmation and protect them from negativity. Something like “If any part of them is in agreement with this affirmation, then they accept it, and every level of their being is protected from outer negative influences.”

When One Door Closes, Another One Opens

May 16, 2011 Linda-Ann Stewart

Twice last week, situations confirmed the old adage, “When one door closes, another one opens.” I experienced this, and a friend did, as well.

I was completing a project, and getting ready to send it to an inexpensive online copy place I’d chosen after a lot of searching. But before I placed my order, I realized I had several questions. After filling out their contact form with the questions, I waited. And waited.

A week later, I called and got an answering machine. Since my questions were too involved to leave as a message, I hung up. Disappointed, I realized that if that was what their customer service was like, I didn’t want to use their service. So back to the search engine.

Almost immediately, I found another company who was even less expensive than the first one. When I emailed my questions, I got a rapid response, even though it was after hours. So I’m going with them.

My friend had a similar experience. Ten days before a party she was organizing, the venue she’d selected notified her they were going to be closed on that day. After a day of frantically trying to find another location, she found one. It was slightly more expensive, but much nicer and with a better catering menu. And the people she dealt with were much more courteous and helpful.

When you have a door close in your face, it’s hard to remember that it might be for the best. You’ll never know what would have happened if your original plans had gone through. It could have been fine, or it could have been disastrous.

But when it slams, and you have to go looking for a new door, keep in mind that the one you find just might be better in ways you can’t even imagine.

Embrace The Changes From Personal Growth

May 6, 2011 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

When you grow up and mature, you no longer wear the types clothes that suited you as a teenager. They don’t fit the image of who you are now. The same can be true of friendships. Have you ever gone back to a school reunion, and not had anything in common with the good friends you had back then? This is normal. As you mature, grow and have more experiences, you change your view of life, your likes, values and opinions.

When this happens, you don’t try to go back and recapture the old way of doing things. It would be pointless, self-destructive and shortsighted. By moving forward, you’re fulfilling the natural impulse to grow and stretch. Your relationship to your old world changes irrevocably with growth. As the saying goes, “You can’t put the genie back into the bottle.”

The same thing happens when you jump up a level of spiritual, mental or emotional consciousness. For instance, when you realize that you deserve to take care of your health and well-being and begin to say “no” to unreasonable requests for your time, your perspective on everything else changes, too.

The same is true when you have some sort of spiritual peak experience or mental expansion. Your relationship to your inner self and the Universe alters. The way you used to connect to the Infinite changes.

It may seem like the door has closed to your contact with the Divine. It hasn’t. God hasn’t moved. You have. Your consciousness has expanded; therefore the way you used to relate to your inner landscape has also shifted. It’s not a bad thing, it can just seem disorienting.

When this happens, your way of experiencing life will probably also change. For instance, if you were originally logical and analytical, you may discover that you’ve become more intuitive. Before, you would reason out a project, now the answer might just pop into your mind. You may sense that a certain person isn’t being honest, whereas before, you would have taken them at face value. As a result of this unasked for change, you might belittle your new insights, and try to return to pure logic because it’s safer and more familiar.

The opposite can take place if you’ve always been intuitive and followed your heart. You may discover that your guidance comes to you now on a more conscious level. Instead of opportunities dropping into your lap, or synchronistically bumping into a person you wanted to see, you might have a conscious impulse of what to do or where to go. It’s now up to you to listen to the urge or ignore it. You could also need to make deliberate choices and follow guidance to their fulfillment, rather than just drifting with the tide.

You’re no longer operating out of an unconscious ability. Now you are more aware of what your insight is telling you. Because it’s much easier to operate unconsciously, you could doubt your guidance and try to dismiss it because it’s coming to you in a different fashion than it used to.

In both situations, if you try to backpedal into what worked before, you’re going to be frustrated. You can’t go back, unless you want to stall your progress. By opening to a greater awareness, you’ve expanded your mind to incorporate more of it. Consciousness includes intuition and reason, heart and head. When you increase your awareness, you’re beginning to balance them and the old responses will also change.

You can’t undo what’s been done, anymore than you can retreat to your teenaged self once you’ve grown up. The Universe is always moving forward, and you must move with it or be left behind. You’ve leaped out of your comfort zone into something that can more fully serve the more conscious you.

Affirmation

I am opening myself up to a greater experience of Life and the Universe. As I grow and expand, I embrace my new awareness and abilities. With confidence and trust, I allow my new relationship to myself and the Infinite unfold in a wonderful way. I balance my heart and mind, knowing that they both have a role in helping me expand into my highest potential.

Can you curse or manipulate another through thoughts or words?

April 28, 2011 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: Can someone put a curse on another and manipulate them through the power of their thoughts or words?

Answer: Someone can only manipulate another through curses if the person being cursed believes it or is open to it. Someone who knows that they are Divinely protected cannot be harmed through any “magical” means. The power of thought and prayer pervades us all, and we’re all affected by this power. If it’s a negative thought from someone else, if we’re not solid in the belief of being protected, then it can influence us or our life.

I had a friend who had a former boyfriend who tried to manipulate her life through “psychic” means. At the time, this friend was learning not to let others take advantage of her. As she became stronger in saying “no” to others demeaning her, the former boyfriend’s influence became weaker and weaker. That’s what I meant by a person has to be open to it. She was open to being manipulated and belittled, so the former boyfriend’s thought was able to affect her. When she became stronger in her own worth, his thought no longer could harm her.

If someone says something with great emotion to a person he wishes to curse, the emotion will impress the subconscious mind of the person. Think of how it feels when someone says something nasty to you. Generally, you’ll feel bad. Words have power to hurt. But the stated curse can be reversed, because it’s all within the person’s own subconscious. It has very little to do with the person doing the cursing.

3 Tips To Get Back In The Flow

April 20, 2011 Linda-Ann Stewart

We’ve all had days where nothing seemed to go right. And the harder we tried to make things better, the worse they got. Unfortunately, by focusing on the negative, it just creates an atmosphere that draws more of it to you. The fear something will go wrong makes sure it will. Here are 3 tips to get out of that frame of mind and back on track.

Empowering Your Mind

Mindset, Motivation and Empowerment

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