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Avoid “Hardening of the Attitudes”

Avoid “Hardening of the Attitudes”

I know that many books on success and mindset suggest you avoid negative people. It’s true that it’s so much easier to maintain a positive attitude when you’re around people who are also positive. Unfortunately, some people interpret that idea to mean that they should only associate with people who agree with them.

I recently had an experience that illustrated how limiting that could be. I had a short exchange with a businessman who believed that everyone wanted to improve themselves and be better at their jobs. His business was based on that assumption and he worked to improve employees’ skills.

From my experience with clients, I felt that although people might want to be better, they didn’t always want to do what was needed to get there. As soon as I expressed that concept to the gentleman, he ended the discussion. By turning away from a contradictory opinion, he refused to open his mind to different viewpoints. If he had, he might have been able to use them to improve his business.

When you avoid opinions that conflict with yours, it indicates that you’re not really confident of your position. If others’ ideas can affect you that easily, you’re not grounded in your own. Listening to what others think, and why, broadens your understanding so you can modify your ideas and help them grow stronger roots. It can also open the door to inspiration, which will allow you to reach greater heights.

So when you encounter someone with an opposing opinion, listen with an open mind. This is true in business, politics, relationships, and life. Avoid “hardening of the attitudes” and consider what they’re saying. It may change your ideas or strengthen your position. Only by associating with people who have varying opinions and experiences can you have a broader and deeper perspective.

Book Review – “Beyond Postive Thinking”

Book Review – “Beyond Postive Thinking”

“Beyond Positive Thinking:
A No-Nonsense Formula For Getting The Results You Want”
by Dr. Robert Anthony

This book a step-by-step process for “right thinking” rather than “positive thinking.” It doesn’t pull any punches regarding why you do the things you do that sabotage your goals. And it specifically tells you want to do about them, so you can achieve your dreams.

This is a users manual for the Law of Attraction. Beginning with the basics of self-esteem, it dives deeply into all the aspects of what could block you from your desires. It addresses the obstacles you encounter and suggests solutions for them.

This is one of the best books I’ve found that explains how to go about creating the life you want. It doesn’t just give you steps to follow, but instructs you on strategies and time-tested techniques. He explains how to use affirmations, intentions, visualization and more.

It’s written in a very clear and understandable manner, directly addressing what to do and why. It’s tightly packed with information, explanations and exercises to change your thoughts and reframe your beliefs.

You’ll need to read this book over and over again, because you won’t be able to absorb all of it in a single reading. If you want to change your mind to change your life, read this book.

“How long does it take for an affirmation to take effect?”

“How long does it take for an affirmation to take effect?”

Question: How long does it take for an affirmation to take effect?

Answer: It depends on how long and how deeply ingrained the old conditioning is. If it’s been there for a long time, or it’s a deeply held belief, it may take a few months of constant affirmation to completely change it. You will likely notice small improvements along the way.

Think of it like tacking a boat. You have to make small incremental changes in the boat’s course to turn it around. If you try to change the course too fast from due west to due east, then you risk ending up in the water. Keep track of the improvements, and use them to encourage yourself.

I tell my clients that it takes thirty days to change a habit (mental or physical), another thirty days to create a new habit (which would be your new thought pattern), and another thirty days to make that new habit familiar.

Even after that, you may find that times of stress may tempt you back to the old way of thinking. That’s normal, because that way has been the most familiar to the subconscious. Just start declaring your affirmation again.

Copyright 2002, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

How To Break Through Your Deadlock

How To Break Through Your Deadlock

Sometimes, when you’re stuck, you don’t know what to do to get things moving again. The problem may be that you’re holding onto some idea that’s holding you back. Here’s a simple technique that comes from Feng Shui, endorsed by organizers, that can help loosen that energy and get life moving again.



What Are You Holding Onto That’s Holding You Back?

What Are You Holding Onto That’s Holding You Back?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Kay had been unsuccessfully searching for a job for over a year. Unfortunately, her choices were limited because she had only minimal computer skills and didn’t want to learn any more. Finally, one night she capitulated. “Fine. If I have to learn to work with computers to get a job, I’ll do it.” Within a week, she’d found a job and needed only minor computer skills for it. But she didn’t find the job until she let go of resistance that was limiting her choices.

When you’re stuck in place, and not making any progress, you may need to release something that you’re hanging onto with all your might. It may be an idea, belief, attitude, role, relationship or outdated image of yourself. You may not even be aware of what it is. But it’s blocked the flow of your life. Here are some things to consider if your life isn’t moving forward like you want it to.

1. Is your image of how a situation “should” or “ought to” be constricting you? Have you placed conditions on what you will and won’t do? As long as you’re trying to direct the way circumstances unfold, you’re blocking the flow of energy. It can be scary to release your preconceptions, because you don’t know what the results will look like. But you can’t control them anyway, and trying to do so is getting in the way.

2. Many times, you need to release a lesser desire for a greater reward. For instance, it’s easier to lounge on the sofa than it is to get up and exercise. But the outcome from the activity has so many benefits. To receive them, you have to let go of your short-term comfort to achieve long-term goals. Or you may need to cut an old friend loose if their negative attitude is affecting yours thus making room for someone who is more positive.

3. If you’re stuck, consider what idea, belief or attitude might be holding you back. Just as Kay was attached to her hatred of computers, you may be reluctant to let go of some long-held idea. The concept may not even be about the area you want to move toward. But it’s some unreasonable condition you’re clinging to that you’ve placed on your life. It could be a role or self-image, such as “Managers don’t do filing,” “I can’t lead meetings” or “I’m not good enough.” Whatever it is, the idea isn’t serving you any more, and you need to let it go to move forward.

4. Ask yourself, “What am I holding onto the hardest?” or “What am I resisting letting go of the most?” It may not be the idea itself that’s restricting you. It’s the energy you’re using to hold onto it that’s created the block. Kay didn’t need computer skills for the job she got, she just needed to open her mind to the possibility. If you refuse to move forward in one area, other areas have a hard time expanding, too.

The Universe is about expansion and flow. It’s like a river, always trying to move you forward. However, if you want to go “tubing” down a river, but you’re hanging onto a rock, you won’t get very far, and you’ll never flow downstream to a greater good.

Affirmation

The Universe always wants to expand through more good into my life. I open my mind to be willing to recognize what’s holding back my progress. I now release any self-imposed obstacles to greater good. They’re old ideas that no longer serve me. I let them go easily and smoothly, knowing that better things are on their way to me now.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Don’t Sabotage Your Goals With Unrealistic Expectations

Don’t Sabotage Your Goals With Unrealistic Expectations

When you have a goal, you may set too many goals at any one time. This can overwhelm your inner mind, and cause it to undermine your progress. You’ll have to make some adjustments to gain your inner mind’s cooperation. Learn how to overcome this barrier and reach your goals.



Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Gratitude Boosts Your Positive Mindset

Gratitude Boosts Your Positive Mindset

Researchers estimate our thoughts are predominantly negative. Increasing the amount of constructive thoughts is something to strive for. Studies indicate that gratitude is one of the best ways to boost your positive mindset. Learn how thankfulness can be a key for you to change your life.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

The 1% Mindset Boost

The 1% Mindset Boost

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Think Positive

Researchers say that between 65% and 80% of what we think is negative or counterproductive. This shouldn’t be surprising, considering all the negative messages we received as children, the unsettling information we get about the state of the world, and the difficulties we have in our fast paced culture.

The subconscious acts on the average of our thoughts. Depending on how much of our thoughts are positive or negative, our lives flow smoothly or we struggle. We feel empowered to make changes or feel helpless. Energy is available for us to be productive or spin our wheels. With the amount of negativity the researchers say we experience, it’s amazing that we’re able to progress at all.

If we could increase the amount of positive thoughts by even 1%, we’d be able to improve our lives. It doesn’t sound like much, but it would be a start and we could then build on that foundation. Here are some ways you can create that 1%.

Economy and politics. Stop listening to the news so much. You can’t do much about it anyway, so why let it pollute your thought field? By taking a more philosophical and objective view of the situation, you can stop it from destroying your peace of mind. One way to do this is to assert that somehow everything is working for the good of the nation and the world. You can do this no matter what your political opinion or stance. It’s not easy, because you’ve probably been emotionally invested with things working out in a particular way. But this is a great practice to detach from needing a specific outcome.

Work and career. You probably can’t just walk out of a difficult work environment right now. But you can change your attitude so you’re not so miserable. It may take some doing, but it can be done. For instance, if your boss is a micromanager, realize it doesn’t reflect on your capabilities. It’s just that your boss has a hard time letting go of control. Stop focusing on what you hate about your job. You know what you dislike, so you don’t have to keep reminding yourself. It doesn’t change it and makes you feel helpless and a victim. So stop hammering your thumb with it. Find one thing a day that you appreciate about your work.

Relationships. Eliminate or minimize your contact with negative people. You can’t change them. When they start to drag you down, excuse yourself and leave the area. Just because you can’t abolish them from your life completely doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to their pessimism. We train people how to treat us. By refusing to let them dump their negativity on you, they just might learn your boundaries. If they value you, they’ll reduce the amount of gloom they spread to increase the time they spend with you. And if they choose to wallow in their unhappiness, at least you’ll be taking care of your mental health.

It’s all about shifting perception and focus. Look for and find ways to improve your mental attitude by just 1%. It will mean that you have that much more energy for your subconscious to use to solve problems and create a more harmonious life for you.

Affirmation:
I now consciously choose to shift my attention from the negative and consider more positive and empowering perspectives. When I notice myself thinking in a counterproductive way, I take charge of my thoughts and channel them into more constructive avenues. I set boundaries and take care of my mental health. Each day, I find things to be grateful for. As I increase the amount of positive and productive thoughts, I notice how my life flows more smoothly and harmoniously.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

The Three Blessings Exercise by Martin Seligman

The Three Blessings Exercise by Martin Seligman

Martin Seligman, Ph.D. is the founder of the positive psychology movement, and author of Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life and Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. These are books I recommend highly.

In this video, he describes an exercise where you examine what has gone right in your life that day, rather than dwelling on what has gone wrong. Many studies show that focusing on what you have to be grateful for increases your overall mood and well being. It trains the subconscious to scan for things to be grateful for and creates a sense of optimism.


In the exercise, you think of constructive things that have happened, and what caused them to occur. This allows you to focus on what’s positive. And energy flows where attention goes. So this is an easy technique to begin boosting your positive thoughts.

Having The Wisdom To Know You Can Only Change Yourself

Having The Wisdom To Know You Can Only Change Yourself

In many self-help programs for addictions and anxiety, they recite a prayer to help them focus on what they can change and what they cannot. It’s called the “Serenity Prayer” and is helpful to remember that you can’t always change what’s going on.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference

When you stop resisting what is, you can put your energies and resourcefulness to dealing with it. You can then create something better because you know in what area you can then change.

After my last article, “You Can Only Change Yourself,” a reader sent me this spin on the original Serenity Prayer. I loved it!

God grant me the serenity
To accept the people I cannot change,
The courage to change the one I can,
And the wisdom to know it’s me.

This pretty much sums up my article.

You can change your responses, attitudes and actions towards other people, but you won’t change anyone else. If you set boundaries, you can improve the way they treat you. But it depends on your establishing and sticking to the consequences you decide on if you’re not treated according to your wishes.

Accept the wisdom to know that the only one you can change is you.