Most people take their friends, talents and situations of their lives for granted. They don’t appreciate what they have until it’s not there. Here are 3 simple ways to learn how to be grateful for what you have and feel more connected to others.
Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
By Beth Terry
Life is a roller coaster. Unless you live alone in a cave, you will run into people and situations that unnerve you. What can you do? I’ve had three situations in the past month:
Choice One:
The world sucks
Everyone is out to get me (shuttle driver, identity thief, telemarketers)
I have such rotten luck
Choice Two:
I am protected because I’ve made good choices
I have angels looking out for me
I live a charmed life
I pick Choice Two.
Why?
~ My bank’s fraud team has my back. National Bank of Arizona called my cell and asked me if I was in Lebanon! Or Arkansas. This was within 5 minutes of the transactions. Thieves stopped in their tracks. Canceled. Intercept! Cool.
~ At the parking lot, another shuttle driver saw my bag, grabbed it and ran to my shuttle. He handed it to my driver and grinned at me. This Parking Spot driver was at the entrance when I arrived and I had helped him with the new system. When I needed help, he was there. Disaster averted! Intercept! Saved me a lot of pain!
~ After the telemarketers call, I sped out of the house. Rounding the corner to get on the freeway, I watched in slow motion as four cars piled into each other at my onramp. I stayed in the middle lane, and took the next onramp. That telemarketer had delayed me just long enough to keep me out of a pile up. Disaster averted! Intercept! Thank God.
In each case I was OK. Each time an “earth angel” had my back. Do these things happen as a reminder someone is looking out for us? Or maybe it’s all coincidence. No matter, I choose to see these events positively. Why? It’s good for the soul, lowers blood pressure, improves heart rate, and increases ability to function. When we believe we are protected and life works out the way it’s supposed to, we may or may not be delusional. But we are healthier for thinking that way.
What are your choices? Look for silver linings, or get depressed. Be an “earth angel” or go it alone. Alert the woman who dropped her wallet while juggling a little kid. Hold open a door. Assist someone with luggage or groceries. Smile at a clerk having a bad day. Think of it as a bank account. Each act of kindness is a deposit. You never know when you’ll need to make a withdrawal.
Granted, you aren’t served if you live your life in denial. But looking for silver linings in every situation short circuits the pity party in your head and gets you back to a productive life.
Copyright © 2011 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.
All Rights Reserved
Beth Terry is a Resilience and Stress Expert, Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), Speaking Coach, Speech Writer, Blogger, and Author. Her theme is “finding resilience in an insane world.” With more than 30 years Management and Speaking Experience, she brings sparkle and substance to conference or corporate meetings. Her greatest strength is her ability to synthesize and translate complex ideas in a way that anyone can grasp and use. Currently based in Phoenix, Arizona, she also has an office in Honolulu, Hawaii. Visit her website, BethTerry.com and her blog, CactusWrangler.com for more of her insights.
When I’m writing an article and in a happy place, my creativity flows relatively smoothly. An article may not fall onto the page fully formed, but even if it comes together in pieces, ideas come to me rather easily.
However, when I’m upset, anxious or angry, trying to write an article is like dragging an anchor over rocky ground. It gets caught on each small stone, and I have to work it free. It’s a struggle and anything but enjoyable.
Now a study has actually validated that being in a positive mood allows the brain to think better and more creatively.
“Generally, positive mood has been found to enhance creative problem solving and flexible yet careful thinking,” says Ruby Nadler, co-author of a study published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science. She and colleagues Rahel Rabi and John Paul Minda at The University of Western Ontario carried out this study.
They found that a positive mood allowed subjects to better able think innovatively, creatively and strategically. They suggest music, or even watching funny videos online to increase this type of productivity.
Employers may object to what they consider wasting time, but it actually may improve employee’s efficiency and morale. So employers may want to consider your lifting your mood a positive use of time.
Information in this article is based on an article at Science Daily, Positive Mood Allows Human Brain to Think More Creatively.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
by Linda-Ann Stewart
Research shows that nurturing a sense of gratefulness can:
1. Improve resiliency. It gives you greater internal resources to deal with the challenges that come up and allows you to bounce back faster. You’re better able to cope, more creative and have less stress overall.
2. Lift depression. People who are grateful experience less depression. By focusing on positive things in your life, you begin to change your mood. The pleasure circuits in the mind are engaged, which makes you feel better.
3. Make greater progress on goals. Those who regularly found things to be grateful for made better progress on goals, such as exercising more or getting better grades.
4. Have better relationships and more friends. Because you’re more at ease with yourself, people are more comfortable and open with you. You have a greater capacity for compassion, and tend to be more generous. This is a characteristic that attracts people to you.
5. Have improved job performance. Studies show students who practiced appreciation are more enthusiastic, alert, determined and improved their grade point average. That translates into having more resources to devote to work and greater success.
6. Experience better health. People who practice gratefulness have stronger immune systems, lower blood pressure, reduced heart disease and exercise more. They also live an average of seven years longer than those who don’t express thankfulness.
7. Be more optimistic. Grateful people are 25% happier than those who don’t feel this positive emotion. This helps you to feel happier and more positive despite what upsetting circumstances you’re experiencing.
These benefits increased when people kept a gratitude journal. Improve your outlook on life by writing down three things you’re grateful for each day. This simple practice will break the habit of looking for the negative in your life, and replace it will intentionally seeking the positive. And don’t think they have to be big things, like getting a raise or the day going smoothly. They can be small items, like seeing a beautiful sunset or connecting with a friend.
Research indicates that expressing gratitude using this journal writing exercise can improve your attitude within three weeks, and the results remain for at least six months. It trains the subconscious mind to seek out positive outcomes. When you seek something positive, you tend to find it. And this then creates new patterns in the mind to be more optimistic. It gently trains you to be more positive.
Plato said, “A grateful mind is a great mind that eventually attracts to it great things.” By showing appreciation for what you have in your life, it instructs the subconscious to find more to be thankful for. When you find yourself wanting to complain, stop and remind yourself to look for some blessing around you. It will help to shift your outlook to be more upbeat and you’ll feel more empowered.
Read Part 1 of Gratitude: The Key To Cultivating A Positive Attitude.
Affirmation:
Whenever something challenging comes up in my life, I deliberately look for something to be grateful for. As I cultivate this habit, I find that I’m happier and more optimistic. My mind begins to seek things to appreciate. And the good I focus upon increases. So everyday, I remember to be thankful for all the good that’s in my life.
Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
by Linda-Ann Stewart
It’s easy to complain about what you don’t have and bemoan what you’ve lost, especially in today’s economic climate. But doing so just feeds into a feeling of victim hood. That attitude doesn’t help create inner resources to deal with difficulties that appear. Instead, griping about life quickly erodes self-confidence, and creates a life full of dissatisfaction and anxiety. In that mindset, it’s almost impossible to succeed in anything. Complaining drains any possibility of progress from every area of your life.
One of the best ways to combat that downbeat attitude and formulate a more constructive outlook is to practice a sense of thankfulness. This doesn’t mean you deny unpleasant emotions and disappointments or ignore negative situations. It’s simply that you don’t focus on them or let them control you.
Being grateful is a conscious choice. Sometimes, you’re taught this valuable ability as you grow up, or you learn it as an adult. But it’s a trait that’s developed with consideration and awareness. And studies show that cultivating a sense of gratitude improves the quality of your life on every level.
Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
I loved the Disney movie, “Pollyanna,” about a young girl sent to live with her aunt after the death of her parents. Pollyanna had a cheerful outlook and looked on the bright side of life. Unfortunately, her name became mistakenly synonymous with being naïve, wearing “rose-colored glasses,” or ignoring facts. That wasn’t her philosophy at all. Pollyanna simply looked for the best in each situation.
Over the years, positive thinking has also gotten the erroneous reputation of ignoring the negative. The common belief is that if you have a positive attitude, it means you must repress any distressing emotion, disregard negative circumstances, and dismiss reality.
That doesn’t accurately represent what optimism is. Being positive doesn’t mean you won’t grieve, feel sad, angry or get upset at times. It just means you allow yourself to experience the normal flow of those emotions and then begin to bounce back to a more positive frame of mind. Eventually, you’re able to view things in perspective, rather than wallow in the suffering.
When you’re positive, you don’t pretend that unpleasant occurrences don’t exist. You simply don’t focus on them. Recognizing reality is essential to formulate a constructive strategy to overcome obstacles. It’s like driving a car. You notice where the other cars are and what they’re doing, so that you can make informed decisions about how to avoid collisions. But you keep your gaze on the direction you’re going.
When you’re optimistic, you seek positive solutions and are open to possibilities. If someone calls me a “Pollyanna” in an attempt to put me down, I say “Thank you” because I know what its real meaning is. Smiling when pessimists want to spoil your day will make them nuts. It’s a win-win situation. Now that’s positive.
Resentment is one of the biggest obstacles to success and a happy life. If you continue to feel resentful against a person, job, political party, social class, or group of people, you have bound yourself to the very thing you dislike. Here’s a short guided meditation to begin to let go of the resentment you might have against those who have hurt you.
Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
by Linda-Ann Stewart
You may hang onto resentment because you feel it protects you. It reminds you not to trust the person who hurt you or go back to the company that treated you unjustly. But you can learn that lesson, and avoid falling into that trap again, without it costing you.
There are definite consequences to holding onto grievances. Mark experienced all of these.
When you’re resentful, it tells your subconscious that you want to have more to resent. Also, what you wish for others, your subconscious accepts as a wish for yourself. It’s the Law of Attraction. You attract what you focus on. Resentment is the biggest obstacle to achieving your desires and having more good in your life.
The opposite of hate or resentment isn’t love or approval. The solution to resentment is apathy. You don’t have to pardon the offense, just put it in the past. When you cease resenting others, you don’t care what they do or think. You’ve successfully detached yourself from them and the situation. It no longer affects you in any way. You’ve freed yourself and taken back your power. And this opens the way for success and a happy life.
Affirmation:
I now break the chains of resentment that have restricted my success and progress. Grudges no longer need to remind me to avoid toxic people and situations. I’ve learned my lesson and am able to successfully take care of my well-being in a constructive way. When I let go of past grievances, I reclaim my self-esteem and power. I now channel my energy into accomplishing my desires. Because I’m more upbeat, I attract more positive people and open the way for success.
Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
by Linda-Ann Stewart
There’s an old saying, “What you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying.” We can’t hide from ourselves. It’s painted on the canvas of our lives. All we have to do is be aware.
Whatever your issue, look at how it’s outpicturing in your life. You’ll be able to recognize it in several areas, because it won’t just be reflecting in an isolated spot of your canvas. It’ll be reflecting in your entire environment.
Our outer experience is simply a metaphor for the thought energy that’s in our minds. For instance, I have raced ahead so fast, that I haven’t processed much of the information that I’ve accumulated. Not only in my business, but also in my life. My piles were old, outdated information that either needed to be tossed away or filed.
I’d procrastinated filing anything because it was so hard to fit anymore into the crammed drawers of my file cabinets. Recently, I expanded my file drawers. Another metaphor. I’d needed to expand my vision. Now, I need to take the time to finish going through my stuff before I go any further. When I do it in one area, it’ll begin happening in the other areas as well. Only then will I begin to break free of my old restrictions and really accept more of Life.
Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
by Linda-Ann Stewart
Some time ago, I went through some piles on my desk. I’d been feeling hemmed in, overwhelmed, frustrated by them. I hadn’t had time for months to take care of them, and finally it got to a breaking point. I didn’t have room to work on my desk, and I couldn’t find things I needed.
Stymied, restricted, overwhelmed Recently, this had been the way I’d been feeling about life and my work. And here it was staring me in the face. I’d been manifesting my feelings in my work area.
Life is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Since I hadn’t cleared away those piles, I’d blocked myself from moving forward. My own tendency not to file old mail and magazines had resulted in life not flowing easily for me. I’d been building a new business so fast, that I hadn’t taken the time to clear away the debris. And it was beginning to obstruct access to the new structure.
We all do this. However we act towards ourselves, comes back at us from our world. Life is simply a mirror for us. All we have to do is look at where we’re uncomfortable in our outer lives, and we can see where we’re uncomfortable within our own minds and hearts.
Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved