Empowering Your Mind

Question: Why do I attract negative people?

Answer: Are you an upbeat or downbeat personality? If you tend to be more negative, then you’re attracting people who are similar to you. You’ve heard of like attracts like? Where people who are similar tend to drift together? You could be drawing people to you who are reflecting that aspect back to you.

On the other hand, if you’re more optimistic, there’s also a principle of opposites attracting. Negative, as well as positive people, are attracted to those with a positive personality. The upbeat person is stronger, more optimistic, inspirational, and tends to uplift those around them. People like to bathe in the warmth and radiance. A negative person may want to be more positive, and therefore be attracted to the characteristic they want.

But there are also those people who want to tear down those whom they see as more gifted, optimistic, and happy. It’s not personal. Remember, “Misery loves company.” If they’re dismal, they want everyone to join them there. It’s not so much that you’ve attracted them, as that they’ve been attracted to you and your warmth. If you’re beginning to feel depleted by the negative people, gently send them on their way. You aren’t obligated to heal them.

self improvement, self help, personal growth, personal development, motivation

Question: Will hypnosis be dangerous if I misuse it?

Answer: If misused, anything in life is dangerous. Electricity powers our computers, lights, appliances, but if you put your finger in the electric socket, you run the danger of being killed.

In the case of hypnosis, it’s a normal state of mind that you’re in and out of everyday. Whenever you focus on anything, you’re in a state of hypnosis. The only way to misuse hypnosis is to give yourself negative suggestions that would decrease the quality of your life. But we do that whenever we make any kind of negative statement about ourselves, put ourselves down or say “I can’t.”

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Question: Why is it so hard to break a habit, whether mental or physical?

Answer: Habits were created when you thought and/or performed an action repetitively. Imagine it as if you’re forming a groove in your psyche. Afterwards, you don’t have to think about that particular area. The mind does this to help you, believe it or not. When you have habits, it frees your mind to focus on other things. If, every morning, you had to think through every detail of how you dressed, it would take you hours to get ready for the day. Habits allow you to do things automatically so that you can contemplate more important things, like what are you going to have for breakfast.

When you try to change a habit, the subconscious objects. It figures that the original one was created for a purpose, so why
mess with success. If there’s emotion attached to the habit, such as eating dessert because it represents nurturing to you, then the subconscious feels that changing it would be harmful to you, and makes eliminating desserts difficult. The subconscious operates much of the time on outdated information.

The way to change a habit is to make the new habit more desirable than the old one. You have to let the subconscious know that you mean business, and be committed to your desire. Attach a really good emotion to the new habit, such as wanting to feel healthy, so it impresses the inner mind. When the new habit, and its associate emotion, is stronger than the old one, the subconscious will accept it. You are simply giving the inner mind new information.

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Question: How do I deal with overwhelming thoughts when I’m trying to meditate?

Answer: It’s normal to have problems with thoughts distracting you during meditation. It happens to those first starting meditation as well as seasoned meditators. It’s one reason why there are so many meditation techniques that use some sort of focus, like a mantra or staring at a candle.

When I use self-hypnosis at the beginning of a meditation, I go deeper than with any other technique. And because you’re focusing on relaxing your body, counting down and then imagining a special place, it helps to calm down the errant thoughts. However, it is a constant practice to keep them calm and not let them distract you.

Whenever you have a thought try to get your attention, bring your focus back to your special place, affirmation or any visualization you’re using. You’re in the process of training your mind. Letting it know that you’re going to take charge. Once you’ve practiced enough to get the thoughts quieter, the next step is to be able to simply observe them and let them go.

To be able to practice self-hypnosis to go into a deeper meditative state, use my Instructions for Self-Hypnosis.

Question: Why is it that when I use an affirmation, I begin thinking negatively about what the affirmation says?

Answer: Generally, that’s old thought patterns resurfacing. The subconscious doesn’t particularly like change. Its function is to help you, and it figures that things are okay the way they are. As long as you have any fears or anxieties about your desire, the inner mind will try to drag you back into your past behaviors. It sees the new ideas as threatening your safety. So all the most negative things you can think of will come up to persuade you to give up.

The other thing that could be happening is that you’re stirring up outdated beliefs that are floating up to your conscious mind. These might be ideas you’ve been acting on without realizing it. In this case, just understand that they’re coming to the surface to be recognized, and they have no validity. They aren’t the truth about you.

In both cases, if you truly want what your affirmation states, you have to be very committed to the process. The subconscious mind responds to the strongest thought. Whenever a negative thought talks back to the affirmation, acknowledge it without trying to make it go away. That takes away its power. Remind yourself that it’s old programming, and isn’t valid now. Then state the affirmation again. Remember, energy flows where your attention goes. As long as your focus remains on your desire, no matter what comes up, the power of the Universe comes in to manifest it.

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Question: Can I use affirmations for different issues in the same day?

Answer: I’d suggest that unless the affirmations are for the same issue you not use them the same day. It’s not so much that it would confuse your subconscious as it would overload it if they’re on different issues. Imagine you’re having to work on several different projects at the same time. You’d feel overwhelmed and wouldn’t get any of them done quickly. It would take much more time to get them all done, taking more time than if you’d done each separately.

inspiration

Question: Why is it so difficult to forgive oneself? I feel that I have forgiven my parents, friends, lovers,  everyone, and I still don’t allow myself off the hook?

Answer: I think it’s so hard to forgive oneself because we’ve accepted the critical judgements of others about ourselves. Someone in childhood, or the past, might have said “shame on you” and we believed them. Also, if we continue to punish ourselves with unforgiveness, it may prevent someone else from criticizing us or abandoning us.

Many people who have a hard time forgiving themselves have also been made to feel responsible for other people’s happiness. They’ve learned to take the blame for whatever happened, to anyone. A client of mine felt responsible if there was an accident outside her building. She felt that somehow she should have been able to prevent it.

I think that the reason a person can forgive others and not themselves is that some part of them knows that the standards they judge themselves by are impossible to live up to. Therefore they can release anger at others who haven’t been able to fulfill that unrealistic code of conduct. But they can’t grant themselves the same compassion.

All unforgiveness is a continual self-punishment because we didn’t live up to someone’s expectations, generally someone else’s. Somehow, a part of us feels that if we don’t forgive ourselves, then we won’t do the “bad” thing again. It’s an unhealthy guilt/shame, and it’s there because we have felt less than worthy most of our lives.

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Question: How can I learn to concentrate better, so that my mind doesn’t wander?

Answer: Do you have a lot of pressure on you? Have you had a lot of stress? These would cause your mind to wander as a
way of escaping and having a mental vacation. Have you been doing any meditation, exercise, or any sort of stress
reduction techniques? That would be my first recommendation to you.

Secondly, sometimes, the mind gets tired of focusing, and needs some time away from it. Concentrating on one thing for
a long period is exhausting, so if you’ve been doing that, start breaking the periods up.

I’d also suggest you download the instructions on how to do self-hypnosis from my site. Start practicing self-hypnosis, and imagine that you’re somewhere pleasant, such as a vacation spot, where no one can bother you.

This sounds odd, but simply doing meditation or self-hypnosis each day will give your mind a rest, while at the same time, they help to train your mind to concentrate better.

Question: Can I affirm for a particular person, job, or residence to come into my life?

Answer: It’s not a good idea to affirm for a specific thing. When you do, you actually get in the way of your own good. Who
knows? There may be something better than you could envision waiting for you to recognize it. But if you’re keeping your
vision on a specific item, the better one can’t come into your experience.

If you decide that you want a particular person, place or job, you might also be interfering with another person’s karma. If
you dictate to the Universe that you want “that one,” it might actually have been better for someone else have it. And there would have been a much greater good for you.

Interfering with another’s free choice, or their karma, isn’t pretty. If that happens, and you take someone’s choice away from them, you’ll reap the consequences eventually. I knew someone who affirmed to buy a specific car. They got the car, but they also got all the problems the car had that they didn’t know about. They regretted their decision very quickly.

In spiritual circles, it’s called “outlining” when you try to tell the Universe “how” or “who” your good has to be. And when you outline how it has to happen, you get in the way of the Power. It’s not up to you to determine “how” something will manifest. That’s the job for the Infinite, and your creative mind. They know what would suit you best.

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Question:
If I say an affirmation a few times a week, will it turn my life around?

Answer:
Saying an affirmation a few times a week won’t undo decades of programming. Change won’t happen overnight. It takes about 30-40 days (and sometimes a few months depending on the difficulty of the issue) of CONCENTRATED focus and affirmations to turn things around. By concentrated, I mean you can’t do the affirmations, then during the day, counteract them with old, negative beliefs. This gives the subconscious mixed messages. You have to catch those automatic, negative thoughts and turn them around to be consistent with the goal of your affirmation.

self improvement, self help, personal growth, personal development, motivation