by Linda-Ann Stewart
When I was young, I was given the message that I had to sacrifice those parts of me that made others uncomfortable. If I was talented, and it made another envious, I was supposed to hide my talent, otherwise I was accused of being “selfish.” At one point, I felt bad for making good grades because I somehow thought I was taking a good grade away from someone else. Many people are like me and have been told they were being selfish, when they were only being true to themselves.
In many cases, the definition of “selfish” has been perverted. If you say “no” to participating in an activity that would overextend you, you might be called “selfish” because it inconveniences the person who asks you. You can always consider your needs against what other people want from you, then decide the most appropriate action to take.
True selfishness is when you disregard the welfare of others. It doesn’t mean that you must ignore your own welfare to please someone else. But the term may have been twisted to become a club to manipulate you.
There is such a thing as healthy selfishness. That’s when you concern yourself with your well being. You’re not taking anything from anyone else, you’re just attending to your needs. Remember that everyone else has the same Universal power that you do to manifest what they want. They don’t need to take what is yours, whether it’s time or resources, to achieve their goal. Nor do you need anything of anyone else’s.
This isn’t a carte blanche to ignore the needs of others. But be aware that some people will have their own agenda when they put their desires ahead of your basic needs. You have a right to your needs and to express the Spirit within you. One of life’s lessons is to learn to honor yourself first.
I honor myself. I recognize when someone tries to manipulate me, and take appropriate actions to take care of my well being. Everyone has the same connection to Universal power that I do, and can take care of their own needs. I have a right to be here. My welfare is as important as anyone else’s.
8 thoughts on “Honor Yourself”
I agree. We have to love, honor and care for ourselves first. When we do, it then ripples out. We’re better able to give. We’re more effective in our roles and relationships. It’s not selfish in a negative way at all.
Thank you, Leanne! Most people just have been manipulated with the “selfish” tag. But if we don’t take care of ourselves, we get drained and have nothing left to give. I love your comment about our being more effective, because it’s so true.
I definitely agree that honoring the self is very important. I think one of the biggest issues that we deal with in society is the inability to truly appreciate our uniqueness. This in turn causes those with talents that could change the world to down play those talents. As you stated honoring the self is not about being selfish and discounting others. I believe it is about truly respecting who you are. This is a form of self love. There is a scripture that says love thy neighbor as THY SELF. We get it backwards and try to take care of everyone else. We end up trying to love thy neighbor in spite of thy self when we don’t honor our uniqueness.
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So very true, Reginald!
Hi Linda-Ann. It’s so true that society and/or family conditions us to believe that is selfish if you give your wellbeing priority. You clarify the issue really well when you point out that this is a perversion of what selfishness is, and that true selfishness is about neglecting others. It’s definitely not selfish to honour your own needs instead of appeasing the lazy ego of others! Thanks for sharing on List-a-Palooza.
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Thank you for your insight, Jamie!
I love my selfish self! I take care of her before I can take care of others. Thank you for sharing on this very important topic.
That’s fantastic, Jennifer! Being able to embrace your selfish self is so very important. As you know, if you can’t, you’ll drain yourself and won’t be there for yourself or for others.
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