by Linda-Ann Stewart
Like me, when you were growing up, you probably heard, “It’s better to give than receive.” I know the intention was to make sure we didn’t become takers, always expecting something for nothing, and to teach us the benefits of giving to others. However, to me, the message meant that if you gave, you were “good,” and if you received, you were “bad.” So I became resistant to accepting anything, even if I needed help.
If it’s better to give, what does that subliminally say about a recipient? Does that mean they’re inferior to the generous person? Is the helpful person superior to the one on the receiving end of the relationship? Learning to give is important. It helps to be aware of others’ needs, to get over our self-involvement, and to recognize the joy of pleasing someone else. But receiving is also important. There has to be a balance of giving and receiving to allow the Universe to flow.
I know many people have a hard time accepting gifts, help, or even something as simple as a compliment. There are several reasons why you may have a hard time receiving good.
- Just like me, you were conditioned that you shouldn’t accept gifts from others, without reciprocating. If you do, you feel guilty or uncomfortable. I couldn’t even ask the Universe for help.
- If you do accept something, you feel obligated to the giver. Somehow, you’ve translated being in the receptive role as being under their control. And that somehow they now expect something greater in return.
- When you give, you’re actually trying to buy others’ approval. Gift giving is a game of one-ups-man ship. If you accept anything from others, you feel that they’re somehow superior to you and have won the game.
Catherine Ponder states, in one of my favorite books by her, “Open Your Mind To Receive,” that “Overgiving to others and undergiving to yourself unbalances the law and keeps your good from coming through.” When you give to others, and don’t accept anything in return, then you’re blocking the flow of Universal good. It’s like sowing seeds in a garden, tending them, then when you harvest, you give all the fruit away, leaving you with no food and no seeds to replant.
Remember how good it feels to give to others? By accepting other people’s outpouring of good, you’re giving them the joy of sharing their essence with you. When you deny someone that pleasure, you’re actually blocking the Universe from pouring Its bounty into your life. The Universe is using them as a channel to funnel good to you. You don’t have to reciprocate to that specific person. If you choose to be in the role of giver, you can keep the flow going by giving to someone else.
If you’re stuck in your life, and nothing good is coming into it, giving is beneficial to get good moving. Remember that Universal good is just energy. Clean out your closets and donate your clothes to Goodwill. Volunteer to serve at the local shelter. This gets the ball rolling. Any energy streaming out will create a vacuum that attracts good to you. And it may come in ways you don’t expect.
You must open your mind to be willing to receive and accept more. Practice graciously receiving what is given, whether it’s a cup of coffee (or tea), a compliment, or even a penny on the sidewalk. This opens the valve to let more good come your way. When I finally learned that it was okay to accept from others, then more good flowed my way. It will be do so for you, too.
I open my mind to receive good from the Universe. When someone gives me a gift, I simply say, “Thank you.” The Universe works through people, and the giver is the conduit for Universal good. I recognize that giving and receiving are simply ways the Universe has to keeping the energy flowing. Only good flows from me and only good comes to me.
Copyright 2009 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
A nationally known hypnotherapist, writer, speaker and coach, Linda-Ann Stewart helps people rediscover their power and sense of self-worth. Visit “Secrets To The Law Of Attraction” to download your copy of this free ebook