When you label a situation as “bad,” it tends to live up to your expectations. However, if you can change that attitude to one of looking for the best, it tends to work out for your benefit. Learn a powerful strategy that instructs your mind to seek for the opportunity in your challenges.
Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
I was honored to be interviewed by my friend and colleague Cathy Severson from Retirement Life Matters for her first BlogTalkRadio Show. We had a great time doing it.
Stress is a fact of life. Some stress is beneficial, but too much can be harmful. Much of the excess stress that people experience isn’t due to a situation, but how they interpret it. Changing what a person tells themselves about the experience to something more positive reduces the stress. When they’re able to develop a more positive outlook about life in general, their health and well being actually improves.
When you’re stressed, you go into a Fight or Flight mentality. This reduces access to your brain’s resources, and compromises your ability to think straight. Here are 5 ways to calm down your overactive stress response so you’re able to respond to situations in a more constructive way.
Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
by Linda-Ann Stewart
However, when you’re able to focus on one thing at a time, it allows access to more mental and emotional resources. For example, driving the car without talking on the phone or texting is safer and less stressful than dealing with those distractions. Working on a project without interruptions means you’re able to bring all of your creativity to it.
Being fully engaged in a conversation means you’ll hear what the other person is saying and be able to respond appropriately. If you have to reply to an upsetting email, having the time and space to rationally choose what to say is better than reflexively shooting out a nasty response.
When you learn to be more mindful and more present in your life, you’re able to engage much more of the brain’s creativity, abilities, perspective, problem solving, and flexibility. You open up channels to the Universe and allow more of Its guidance and wisdom into your life.
Take some time to turn off all the technology in your life and shut out the distractions. Focus the light of your attention on one task. Immerse yourself in it.
If it’s washing the dishes, don’t watch TV at the same time or focus on hating the chore. Just do it without giving it much emotional energy or distraction. Consider it time for your mind to recharge without having to think ahead. Just be. The same technique can be used for a project at work, or a task at home.
Instead of tying up so much of your resources in your day-to-day scramble, learn to be more focused and mindful. This allows you to release more of the talents and creativity that are innate within you.
Affirmation
I commit myself to be in the present. The past is over, the future is yet to be. When I have a task, I focus on it and it alone. This gives me more mental, emotional and spiritual resources. It allows me to hear Divine Guidance more clearly and use it to make better choices. So I choose to shut out distractions and be right here, right now.
Read part 1 of Stop Multitasking to Reduce Stress.
Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
by Linda-Ann Stewart
Most people are overwhelmed by the amount of distractions in their lives. When you’re trying to work, you’re interrupted by phone calls, texts, or a problem suddenly needing an immediate solution or decision. All of this diverts your attention and keeps you from focusing on one thing at a time.
You’re trying to multi-task to be more efficient and you’re accomplishing exactly the opposite. Your attention is split between all of the distractions, and nothing gets your best effort. So everything suffers from a lack of your full capabilities.
Unfortunately, your fast-paced lifestyle promotes stress and anxiety. This engages the Fight or Flight mechanism that causes you to be in survival mode. Everything that happens is then considered to be a threat. You can’t keep things in their proper perspective.
For instance, let’s say you’re expecting a busy day at work. In the morning, you take the trash bag out of the trashcan and the bag breaks. Now you have to clean it up before you can leave. On the freeway, you’re caught in an unexpected traffic jam and get to work late.
You’d planned to have plenty of time to print out a report for a meeting. But because of the morning’s delays, you’re hurrying to get it done. The printer jams and you’re ready to throw it through the window. Due to the accumulated frustrations, an insignificant problem (the printer) has been blown up out of proportion. It takes on monumental importance, when it actually may simply take a couple of minutes to fix.
When your mental reserves are completely used up and you’re in survival mode, stress monopolizes resources in the brain. It’s like a huge program that consumes all the available memory in a computer. There’s nothing left over to make rational decisions.
Being stressed and in overwhelm means that you can’t think straight, be creative, resourceful, or plan effectively. You’re reacting from your past experience and conditioning and can’t choose a different response.
Read part 2 of Stop Multitasking to Reduce Stress.
Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
by Linda-Ann Stewart
It’s time to reclaim the power you’ve given away. Don’t let a past situation govern your life or choices any longer. You can’t control others or what they do.They have their own opinions and perceptions that may not agree with yours. And you don’t want the thought of them to continue to affect you and your emotions.
Realize that anyone who upset you probably didn’t target you personally. They may not have hurt you deliberately. Even if they attacked you, they might have just randomly picked you as a the target of their hostility. Maybe you accidentally triggered a sensitive area for them. Who knows?
When you get angry, mentally step back and reassess. You can then make rational choices instead of reactionary ones. You can decide what’s best for you in the long run. Lashing out and making snide remarks won’t resolve the situation and will probably make it worse. When you’re able to stay cool, you’re in control of yourself and the situation. You can stand up for yourself, and for your rights, calmly.
Decide what you need to learn from the circumstance. Should you trust them less, not let them so close, or were you expecting them to be different from who they are? Whatever the lesson, as long as you remember it, you can fulfill the purpose of why you got upset. Establish boundaries and decide how much contact you want with this person.
Hallie was a very unhappy woman. Only when you’re willing to let go of your anger do you have the space to allow happiness in. Peace of mind, empowerment, health and harmony reward you when you learn the lesson from anger and resolve it. Your mind is then able to expand to a greater level of its potential.
Affirmation:
I recognize that anger is counterproductive if I hold onto it. It also hands my power over to those I’m angry at. When I reclaim my power, I seek rational methods to deal with the situation. As I do, I access more of my potential. It also allows me to channel my energy to the successful fulfillment of my goals.
Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
by Linda-Ann Stewart
Hallie prided herself on holding grudges. She never forgave anyone for any real or imagined slight. Once someone had offended her, she’d cut them out of her life. This attitude caused her to be exhausted, and negatively affected her health and her relationships.
Anger is a survival instinct that lets you know that some right has been violated. When you get angry with someone, it provides protection so that the other person will think twice about acting like that again. Once the situation has been dealt with, it has fulfilled its purpose and anger fades away.
However, if you continue to hold onto your anger, like Hallie, you’re trying to protect yourself against a threat that no longer exists. Anger then twists into hostility, a bubbling cauldron of antagonism. Studies have shown that hostility depresses the immune system and harms cardiovascular function.
Antagonism ties up energy that could be used for something productive. This affects you physically with increased stress, tense muscles, an upset stomach, and shallow breathing. It also ruins relationships and contributes to the self-destructive habits of smoking, drinking, overeating, and others.
Anger is energy. As long as it’s moving and released, it can actually help make constructive changes. But if it gets stuck, it turns to hostility and becomes a black hole that sucks in more energy. “Energy flows where attention goes.” When you’re focused on holding onto anger, it diverts energy from manifesting good. The Law of Attraction causes it to draw more disharmony and frustration to you.
When you’re angry, your mind functions at much less than your normal potential. Chronic anger greatly reduces your ability to think, make decisions and tap into creativity.
If you hold a grudge, like Hallie, you’re trying to control a situation that’s in the past. It’s a reaction against feeling helpless, but it keeps you in a victim cycle. You’re letting the past rule how you feel and act. You might think it makes you stronger and more powerful than the other person. Instead, you’ve just handed control of your emotions over to them.
They may no longer even think of you, but they’re still very much a part of your thoughts. Maybe you’re trying to punish them. But you’re not hurting them at all. The only person it’s harming is you. You may think that you’re protecting yourself, but you’re actually keeping yourself immobile, unable to learn from a situation and move forward.
As long as you continue to be angry, you’re holding that person and situation to you like glue. The relationship or situation isn’t over for you. Every time you think of it, your subconscious thinks it’s happening all over again and it revs up your anger all over again.
Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
When you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or anxious, your brain blocks access to both the rational and intuitive part of you. Essentially, your wires have gotten flooded with too much stimulus and nothing can get through.
This can happen in sports or in life. Your emotions can keep you from being able to think clearly, or you ruminate too much about an issue. Your mind gets into a negative feedback loop and you can’t move forward.
In Christopher Bergland’s article, “No. 1 Reason Practice Makes Perfect,” he writes about how we create grooves in our mind when we do things repetitively. He talks mainly about athletics and muscle memory, but it also relates to life in general.
“You become super fluid in sports – and in life – when you have freed up the working memory of your cerebrum [conscious mind] to strategize and keep tabs on the more cerebral aspects of everything that’s going on while completely trusting your gut and the intuitive powers of your cerebellum [subconscious mind].”
To clear away the mental debris, he describes a simple exercise. This allows your conscious mind to figure things out while opening up to the wisdom of your inner mind. He suggests, “relaxing the backs of your eyes, taking some deep breaths and ‘letting go.'”
Practice this several times a day when things are going smoothly. Then the process will be automatic when you really need it.
Jeff and I visited Grand Canyon National Park again recently. We started at the eastern end this time, which is much more open than the western section. You can clearly see the Colorado River just below you.
Before we got to the Park, we stopped at the Little Colorado River Gorge. This is an amazing canyon carved by a small tributary that flows into the Colorado River at the floor of the Grand Canyon.
While there, a German visitor started asking me questions about the Little Colorado River and the Grand Canyon. I was pleased to be able to answer her questions, such as why the water was so muddy and how it could be much bigger after a rain. She translated what I said to two older gentlemen with her. When they left, one of the gentlemen grinned and bowed to me.
Every time we visit the Canyon, we hear so many foreign languages. According to statistics, visitors from 41 foreign countries travel to it. And a recent study indicates that the number of foreign visitors has risen from 17 percent in 2005 to as high as 35 percent now.
Several times during the day, Jeff or I were asked to take someone’s photograph. We ended the day at sunset in Grand Canyon Village, talking with a family from Australia and answering some of their questions about the area.
We’re always delighted to act as local ambassadors to national and international visitors. It’s a side benefit to enjoying our local natural wonder.
I love weaving and embroidery, but have been so focused on work that I haven’t had time for either for a very long time. Also, my loom is in storage because it’s too big for our condo. So I’ve spent my free time hiking and doing other enjoyable things. But it hasn’t been the same or given me the same fulfillment.
Recently, I took a class that included doing a little bit of simple embroidery on some felt. I didn’t finish it in class but worked on it a few days later. Unfortunately, I found out that the embroidery floss supplied by the class was about 6 inches too short to finish the project.
I had to wait for several weeks until we went to a nearby city to get the needed embroidery thread. During that time, the project sat on the table, as a reminder that it needed to be completed. Every time I went by and glanced at it, I got a thrill of joy, excitement and satisfaction. The same feelings I had when I actually worked on it.
I realized that I needed to make the time to do some of the fiber handiwork that feeds my soul. Eventually, I need to find a smaller loom. Until then, I’m designing an embroidery project that will satisfy my need to create.
And I wasn’t the only one in my life to come to this conclusion. A friend of mine loves music and hasn’t been able to play her piano for quite some time. A few days ago, she went to play it, and once again discovered how it makes her heart sing. She’s committed herself to practicing again because it’s so important to her emotional health.
Creativity helps keep a person young and their brains active. It’s when we block our creativity that we begin to shrivel up inside.
What creative pursuit have you abandoned to focus on family, work, or other pastimes? How can you begin to include that activity in your life again? When you do, it will enhance your relationships, reduce stress, and give you more energy because you’re being authentic and attending to your soul’s needs.