The book, Psycho-Cybernetics, was groundbreaking and was a revelation to me when I read it. In this 9 minute video, author Dr. Maxwell Maltz is interviewed and describes lessons 6-12 of how to improve your self-image. Beliefs become habits, which are just self-hypnosis. He touches on the different habits that you have, the success and failure mechanism within you, and how to create changes that support your self-image and success.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
Psycho-Cybernetics is a form of self-image therapy developed by Dr Maxwell Maltz to help people rebuild their life based on positive belief in self. Dr. Maltz describes the first lesson of Psycho-Cybernetics, which is how we have 2 worlds within us, frustration and confidence. When we turn from frustration, we walk towards confidence. This is a 9 minute video of an interview with Dr. Maltz as he covers the first 5 lessons of Psycho-Cybernetics and how it can be used to improve your self-image.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
Wayne Dyer, author and motivational speaker, passed away recently. He was a pioneer in the self-help industry publishing the best seller, Your Erroneous Zones, in the mid-70’s. It launched him into the national limelight and he went on to become a leader in the spiritual field. He transformed millions of lives by giving them the direction of how to improve. To honor him, here are some of his quotes to help you live up to your potential.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.”
“Self-worth comes from one thing: Thinking that you are worthy.”
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.”
“If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t you will see obstacles.”
“With everything that has happened to you, you can feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”
“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.”
“The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of the state of your mind.”
“If we focus on what’s ugly, we attract more ugliness into our thoughts, and then into our emotions, and ultimately into our lives.”
“When you abandon making choices, you enter the vast world of excuses.”
“You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you.”
“Begin with the end in mind. Start with the end outcome and work backwards to make your dream possible.”
“A belief system is nothing more than a thought you’ve thought over and over again.”
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
Question: Is there a secret to recovering one’s self-esteem?
Answer: It isn’t easy to reclaim yourself and your self-worth. It’s probably one of the hardest things a person can do, and yet, it’s at the foundation of everything we experience. Which may be why it can be so hard.
Imagine that your being was fragmented in childhood because of your family. You’re going to have to find those pieces, or make new ones, to put yourself back together again. However, each tiny step you take will take you in the right direction.
Sometimes, there will be two steps forward and one back. That’s normal. Not only are you simply firming up your progress by taking the step back, but the subconscious may feel uncomfortable with your progress.
Your subconscious doesn’t like change, and it’s trying to keep you safe in the environment that you no longer live in. It just needs to get the message that it’s safe now for you to have your own beliefs, a sense of self-worth, self-trust and confidence.
When you dedicate yourself to be there for yourself, the subconscious mind and the Universe will support you. It’s not that there won’t be any bumps along the way – that’s how we get stronger. But if you are committed to your well-being, and do all you can for it, then you will begin to feel better.
This won’t happen overnight. It will take some time, and it takes consistency. An affirmation that you can use is: “I accept my True Worth.”
Copyright 2006, 2015 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
Question: What affirmations could I use to improve my self-image?
Answer: You’d have to determine what you feel is lacking in your self-worth. Suggestions such as: “I am worthy of all the good there is,” “I deserve the best,” “I feel confident and self-assured,” “I accept my true worth” would be a good place to start. Some of my clients say that they “don’t feel like I’m enough.” I give them suggestions that “You are enough, good enough, worthy enough.”
Since the self-esteem issue is individual, you’d know best what kind of ideas you need to emphasize. A suggestion, by Emile Coue, a pioneer in mental programming, is a good, general one. “Every day, in every way, I’m really getting better and better.”
Copyright 2006, 2014 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
by Kendall Summerhawk
Ready for a rant?
I recently watched a video of a guru in the self-help world, describing her recommended process for making a decision.
Okay, so I’m intrigued, as the topic of decision making is one I personally love since everything we do, have and are in our lives is the result of our decisions.
Back to our guru gal…I watched as she outlined her process, which centered on checking in with your energy about the decision and “choosing the option that felt light and easy.”
Seriously?
My jaw dropped. Expecting the right decision to be the light and easy one is a recipe for creating avoidance and denial, and cultivating what I call “low decision IQ”.
There is an abundance of situations in your life and business that require you to make decisions. Some will feel difficult or painful, yet are still authentic and honor your values, upleveling your spirit and your integrity in the process.
While I’m not saying that every decision has to be full of drama or take hours to research before coming to a conclusion, what I am saying is that taking the light and easy road will only lead you to decisions that keep you stuck in disempowerment and limit your ability to grow into the extraordinary woman you’re meant to be.
For example, recently I faced these decisions.
Situation #1: What do I do about the friend who has zero boundaries, keeps makes one bad choice after another (creating chaos and drama in her life) and disrespects my time?
On a scale of 1-10 in terms of difficulty (10 being the toughest) this situation rates a 10.5!
Situation #2: In meeting with my financial advisor I’m presented with the opportunity to move some of my savings nest egg — which is getting zero percent interest — over to a 3 year deposit account where I’ll get a nice return as long as I don’t touch a penny of the money for 3 years.
Okay, so using the same rating scale this one sounds like it should be less than 1 on the difficulty meter, but the idea of not being able to get to my money for the upcoming years without paying a penalty makes me a little squeamish and triggers old “but what if something happens??” feelings of potential doom lurking around the corner. (Irrational, I know, given the success of my business but I want to be perfectly transparent with you). So this one jumps up to a rating of 6.
Ready to take a closer look at where the “light and easy road” would lead me?
Situation #1: Remember my friend? The one with no boundaries and an utter disregard for other peoples’ time, including mine. Light and easy would be to skip addressing the problem, making the decision that “it will all work out somehow…I can just feel it”.
Situation #2: And the financial decision? Light and easy would be to do nothing, figuring “the money is fine where it is, and this way, I don’t have to fill out any of those annoying forms or worry that I might need the money in a pinch.”
Can you guess what I did instead? Let’s find out…
Situation #1: I decided to address the issues with my friend, letting her know that her choices where up to her, but they were impacting me, which I wasn’t comfortable with. When nothing changed I let her know that while I cared about her deeply, I could no longer have her chaos in my life and I ended the friendship.
While not a light and easy decision to make, it was a decision that honors my integrity. By standing up for my boundaries I strengthened my self-worth and deepened my connection to valuing myself.
Situation #2: Rather than ignoring a great opportunity I reminded myself that in an extreme emergency I could still get access to the money in the longer term investment. Plus, by moving the money from my regular savings account I was creating a ‘gap’ that I could get excited about filling with more savings. The decision made, I asked my financial advisor for help on filling out the forms, sent off a check and felt awesome about making a financial decision from a grown-up mindset.
Ladies, “light and easy” decisions are best left for deciding whether to have pizza or enchiladas for Friday night dinner.
The rest of the time? Make decisions based on what will help you achieve the results you want. Every decision you make from this place of clarity and integrity adds grace and ease to your life, which is the ultimate way of creating joy!
Would you like to learn simple ways you can brand, package and price your services, quickly move away from ‘dollars-for-hours work’ and create more money, time, and freedom in you business? Check out my web site, http://www.KendallSummerHawk.com, for free articles, resources and to sign up for my free audio mini-seminar “Money Blocks & Breakthroughs.”
by Barb Wade
I love to give gifts, and give thanks, and give service to others – that’s one reason I love the holidays so much. But for those of us “givers” it’s sometimes a little more difficult to receive.
The ironic thing is that receiving is actually an innate “skill” that we all have when we are children. But at some point, we are told that it is selfish or wrong to enjoy receiving.
We hear, “It is better to give than receive” constantly. But that is an erroneous equation. Both giving and receiving are rich in their own gifts, and both are necessary to have a balanced life.
This is from a book called Soul Currency by Ernest Chu:
“Most of us, as we conduct our everyday lives, exhibit difficulty in receiving… We too often subordinate our needs to those of loved ones and friends. […] When the circulation of love is stopped by an inability to receive, then eventually we have little or nothing left to give.”
You must complete the “circuit,” as it were, in order for the most powerful flow to happen. It’s strange that we think of giving being an act of humility, but I have often felt most humbled when I truly accepted someone’s love through receiving.
Just imagine how your finances and income is influenced by your inability to receive – if you can’t receive, money can’t flow to you!
One of the ways that we block ourselves from attracting abundance is by giving more attention to the lack of what we want rather than the fulfillment of what we want. Then, by the “like-attracts-like principle,” we recreate the lack of what we want.
And remember: we’re not just talking about receiving material objects and items. This is about our ability to open up to joy, love, well-being, abundance, and all the other things that are available to us.
Have you ever had someone complement you on what you are wearing and your reaction was “Oh this? It’s just a thing I threw on. I got it on sale…” etc, etc.
That is just one way of not receiving or deflecting love and affection. But you not only cheat yourself out of fully experiencing that love, but you short-change the giver’s experience of happily contributing.
So during this season of giving, isn’t it a good time to start practicing gracious receiving as well?
The next time someone gives you a complement, try this: smile, fully take it in, and simply say “thank you” – no deflecting or excuses, just put your focus on connecting with the other person and then notice how you feel.
You see, giving and receiving aren’t really opposites. They are part of an energy loop that is only truly effective if the circle continues and grows unbroken.
Business Coach & Mentor Barb Wade specializes in teaching entrepreneurs how to make more money more easily while enjoying a business and lifestyle that reflects their priorities. Download Barb’s “Word-for-Word Scripts To Overcome Objections” and book more high-paying clients now at www.BarbWade.com
Question: I want a better self-image, prosperity, and success, but what do I work on first to achieve these?
Answer: First, a good self-image is the basis of the other two. If you don’t feel like you deserve good, you won’t manifest more prosperity or success. So the first thing I’d focus on is the self-image. I usually tell people to focus on one issue at a time, but since these three items tend to run hand in hand, I think you can work on all three of them at one time.
Write down what makes you feel bad about yourself. Do you feel like you don’t deserve, aren’t enough, aren’t worthwhile? Turn it around and create a positive statement that affirms your worthiness. Work on self-acceptance. And to begin with, I’d state that you deserve prosperity and success in the amount that you want. That would be the first step.
When you start to feel comfortable that you do deserve prosperity and success, then I’d expand the suggestion. State how much prosperity and success that you want. And remember, you don’t have to know how it will happen. That’s what your subconscious mind is for, to work out the details. That’s not to say that you don’t have to take some action, or move in that direction. But you don’t have to worry about the how.
Copyright 2004, 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
Question: How long does it take for the subconscious mind to release outdated beliefs?
Answer: I could be facetious and honest if I said “It takes as long as it takes.” But that wouldn’t be very helpful. Actually, there are a lot of factors that go into how long it takes. How badly do you want to make the change? Do you keep your mind focused on the change, knowing that it’s possible? Do you flood your mind with affirmations and statements of the change? Do you take actions that ground the change?
For example, if it would be for smoking, do you cut down, change the places you smoke, etc? For self-esteem, do you treat yourself well, do things that build your feelings of self-worth?
The subconscious will only release its old patterns when it realizes that you don’t need or want them anymore. Your conscious mind must convince your subconscious through the conscious mind’s focus and commitment. And the length of time it takes is in direct proportion to the amount of energy you use for the change. It could be overnight, or it could take years of small changes in that direction.
However, in general, any idea, thought, or belief that your conscious mind stays completely focused on for a month becomes a part of you by becoming part of your subconscious belief patterns.
Copyright 2004, 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
by Barb Wade
Did you ever play the game “Mother May I” when you were a kid? You know, one child plays the “mother” and the other are the children. You must preface every move you make with the phrase, “Mother May I” or else you are out of the game.
And you can’t move until you get permission.
It’s surprising how many adults still play this game everyday. They are waiting around for someone – their boss, spouse, friends, and even, yes, their mother to give them permission to do the things they really want to do.
There is a part of us that is very comforted by getting permission and especially approval. That’s normal. But there comes a time when you must break free of the waiting game and take your own life by the horns.
At some point we have to realize that what is lurking behind all that longing for approval is fear, doubt, and feelings of not being good enough.
The biggest problem is that those fears and feelings aren’t based on reality – they are often irrational and false. Which means, that no amount of permission is going to make them go away.
But once you decide that you can give yourself the go-ahead, then no one can take that away from you. (At least not without your permission!)
If you find all of this easier said than done, don’t worry – you’re not alone. I know I’ve been there more than once. The next time you’re stuck, consider that all you might need is a little nudge of permission. Then try this:
Listen To Your Self-Talk:
When I say that people wait to get permission, it’s usually not literal. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we “can’t, shouldn’t, or must not” do something and we believe those thoughts to be true at face value.
The funny thing is, our beliefs (including the very self-limiting ones) are often picked up along the way, even since childhood and although they may sound like our ideas, they are actually deeply embedded reactions that don’t necessarily reflect who we have grown to be as a person. The are “someone else’s voice.”
So next time you hear that voice of fear say, “I just can’t…” take a look at it as an observer and ask yourself, “Who says I can’t?” You might even get a very specific answer! (Like, “my 3rd grade teacher says so”). Once you know whose idea it really is, you can boldly proclaim, “Well, thanks for sharing, but I’m in charge and I say I CAN!”
And in doing so, give yourself complete and unabashed permission. It’s amazing how liberating that little exercise can be.
Once the fear and doubt have subsided a bit, make a plan to take some empowered action to “seal the deal.” So go to that event, take that class, make that phone call, hire that mentor – you don’t have to wait for permission!
Then surround yourself with friends and colleagues who will support you stepping into your new decision. Who knows what you might create?
Whatever it is you wish to do, be, or have, it’s time to decide that you’re worth it, you deserve it, and give yourself permission to follow your bliss today.
Copyright 2013 Barb Wade
All Rights Reserved
Business Coach & Mentor Barb Wade specializes in teaching entrepreneurs how to make more money more easily while enjoying a business and lifestyle that reflects their priorities. Download Barb’s “Word-for-Word Scripts To Overcome Objections” and book more high-paying clients now at www.BarbWade.com