self-talk – Page 16 – Empowering Your Mind

Question: Can hypnosis help me believe that I will find my life partner?

September 28, 2013 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: Can hypnosis help me believe that I will find my life partner, releasing the fear that it will never happen?

Answer: Hypnosis isn’t a magic wand, it works with the subconscious mind to help change attitudes, beliefs and both mental and physical habits quickly. Hypnosis can help to release fears, and help to believe in finding the perfect partner for you.

Settle on an affirmative statement about this, like “The person I’m looking for is looking for me, someone who harmonizes with me” and some of the characteristics you’re looking for. Write a statement that convinces you that it’s possible, then trust your subconscious to do its work.

As long as you doubt it, then your subconscious will be acting on your doubt.

“No You May Not!”

September 2, 2013 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Barb Wade

Did you ever play the game “Mother May I” when you were a kid? You know, one child plays the “mother” and the other are the children. You must preface every move you make with the phrase, “Mother May I” or else you are out of the game.

And you can’t move until you get permission.

It’s surprising how many adults still play this game everyday. They are waiting around for someone – their boss, spouse, friends, and even, yes, their mother to give them permission to do the things they really want to do.

There is a part of us that is very comforted by getting permission and especially approval. That’s normal. But there comes a time when you must break free of the waiting game and take your own life by the horns.

At some point we have to realize that what is lurking behind all that longing for approval is fear, doubt, and feelings of not being good enough.

The biggest problem is that those fears and feelings aren’t based on reality – they are often irrational and false. Which means, that no amount of permission is going to make them go away.

But once you decide that you can give yourself the go-ahead, then no one can take that away from you. (At least not without your permission!)

If you find all of this easier said than done, don’t worry – you’re not alone. I know I’ve been there more than once. The next time you’re stuck, consider that all you might need is a little nudge of permission. Then try this:

Listen To Your Self-Talk:

When I say that people wait to get permission, it’s usually not literal. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we “can’t, shouldn’t, or must not” do something and we believe those thoughts to be true at face value.

The funny thing is, our beliefs (including the very self-limiting ones) are often picked up along the way, even since childhood and although they may sound like our ideas, they are actually deeply embedded reactions that don’t necessarily reflect who we have grown to be as a person. The are “someone else’s voice.”

So next time you hear that voice of fear say, “I just can’t…” take a look at it as an observer and ask yourself, “Who says I can’t?” You might even get a very specific answer! (Like, “my 3rd grade teacher says so”). Once you know whose idea it really is, you can boldly proclaim, “Well, thanks for sharing, but I’m in charge and I say I CAN!”

And in doing so, give yourself complete and unabashed permission. It’s amazing how liberating that little exercise can be.

Once the fear and doubt have subsided a bit, make a plan to take some empowered action to “seal the deal.” So go to that event, take that class, make that phone call, hire that mentor – you don’t have to wait for permission!

Then surround yourself with friends and colleagues who will support you stepping into your new decision. Who knows what you might create?

Whatever it is you wish to do, be, or have, it’s time to decide that you’re worth it, you deserve it, and give yourself permission to follow your bliss today.

Business Coach & Mentor Barb Wade specializes in teaching entrepreneurs how to make more money more easily while enjoying a business and lifestyle that reflects their priorities. Download Barb’s “Word-for-Word Scripts To Overcome Objections” and book more high-paying clients now at www.BarbWade.com

What pronoun do you use with affirmations?

July 29, 2013 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: Which is the best pronoun to use when saying an affirmation: I, you, or he/she?

Answer: You ask an excellent question. The answer, unfortunately, isn’t cut and dried. All three ways of phrasing affirmations have their uses. I most often use the first person (I), so that I identify with what I’m affirming. We tend to become what we identify with, and this is the way most affirmations are worded. This gives the subconscious guidance on what you want it to do.

However, when an affirmation is hard to accept, or our subconscious has some resistance to the affirmation, using a more objective pronoun is very helpful. Using “you” when stating the affirmation becomes a command to the subconscious. This pronoun is especially helpful when you want to directly order the subconscious on what to do. It forcefully breaks up any opposition to the affirmation. If you state and affirmation this way while looking at yourself in the mirror, it becomes very powerful.

When you’re too emotionally involved in the issue the affirmation is dealing with, the use of the third person pronoun “he/she/your name” is called for. Speaking of yourself in the third person helps when you need to deal with the issue a bit more objectively. It’s especially helpful when you need to improve your self-approval to accept the affirmation.

If you state an affirmation in each of these ways, you’ll notice a difference in the way you respond to it. Pick the way that seems to resonate with you the most at the time.

Attitude Is Everything

July 15, 2013 Linda-Ann Stewart

I’ve been working on a business project for several months. For most of that time, it has been difficult to work with and on. It’s moved forward about as quickly and smoothly as pouring molasses in the winter.

Last week, I decided to change my attitude about it. Instead of dreading working on it and expecting it to be hard, I chose to think that it would be smooth and easy to work on. And as soon as I shifted my expectation, it became easier. I was able to complete a section of it in less than half the time than any of the other sections were done.

Struggling with a situation, dreading the difficulty of a project, or just generally banging your head against a brick wall, creates an expectation of trouble. This brings on more obstacles, and progress becomes like walking through wet cement. However, if you shift your attitude to expect it to be easy, you give the subconscious the instruction to be more resourceful.

This project reminded me to choose to think that the situations of my life can be easy. In the past, when I’ve carried this belief, things have flowed incredibly harmoniously. It isn’t easy to change your expectation when the evidence seems against it, but it’s well worth the effort.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Why do negative thoughts arise when using affirmations?

May 20, 2013 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: How come when I use affirmations, negative thoughts take over my mind?

Answer: One reason the negative ideas may be surfacing is that your positive statements are flushing them out of their hidey-hole. As you put more positive in, the negative rises to the surface to be acknowledged before it can be released. But if they’re sticking around, something else is probably going on.

Sometimes the old, negative thought patterns resist our changing them, and the more we affirm positive, the more they clamor. Generally, it’s because they feel like they need to be there for to protect you. You accepted them at a time when they were necessary (or so you thought), but they aren’t helpful any more.

Sometimes, I’ll use an affirmation such as “I have outgrown old, outdated negative thought patterns that were implanted when I was much younger. My subconscious now recognizes that I no longer need or want them in that form, and releases them.”

Whatever you use, you need to understand that they’ll be there until you realize that they aren’t necessary any more. Sometimes it can feel safe to stay in the old (uncomfortable) rut, because its familiar. Or feelings of anger, hurt, fear or guilt can hang onto them.

In that case, you need to address those feelings. Just don’t resist the negative words, that gives them more power. Acknowledge that you recognize that they’ve been there, but you don’t need them any more. You might be surprised what surfaces when you do this.

What is a mantra, how do you use an affirmation?

April 17, 2013 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: What is a mantra, how long is it used in meditation, and how many times do you say an affirmation?

Answer: A mantra is a word, phrase or sound that’s repeated during meditation to help a person focus their mind, and take their attention away from the outer world or their extraneous thoughts. How long you say it varies from spiritual system to system.

Some state you should say it for as long as you’re meditating, some state you repeat it until your mind is calm and serene, open to the Universe. If you’re using an affirmation as a mantra, I’d recommend that you repeat it to yourself until you feel it resonate with truth within you.

If you’re saying an affirmation out loud, it’s recommended that you repeat it for at least 15 minutes a day. But while doing so, concentrate on its meaning and on feeling its truth. The feeling connects it to the subconscious.

How do I use self-hypnosis to change a habit?

March 19, 2013 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: How do I use self-hypnosis to change a habit?

Answer: Congratulations on wanting to change your life. Self-hypnosis can help you change a habit or quit something, but it takes dedication and commitment on your part.

For instance, I’ve had many smokers come to see me, saying “I really don’t want to quit. I want to want to quit.” In this case, they don’t have the commitment to stop smoking. They want a magic pill that will make it go away. Self-hypnosis makes the process of changing or quitting easier, it doesn’t make the choices for you.

Whatever it is that you want to change, you could decide what it is that you want instead of it. You could use an abstract, like greater self-respect or pride, or you could substitute something more concrete, like a carrot stick or green tea.

Once a day, in self-hypnosis, you imagine the desire for ‘whatever’ transferred to what you really want, and imagine yourself satisfied and delighted with the new substitute or abstract. Then, during your waking hours, whenever you think of the ‘whatever,’ you say to yourself, “No, I don’t do that anymore. Instead, I’m choosing ….”

The change won’t happen overnight, and you will have to dedicate yourself wholeheartedly to letting go of the habit or making the change, no matter what happens. And you may have to practice your self-hypnosis up to three times a day in the beginning.

Attitude Makes All The Difference – By the Amazing Zig Ziglar

December 1, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

The amazing motivational speaker and thought leader, Zig Ziglar, passed away this week at 86 years of age. He taught millions about the fundamentals of sales, success and how attitude makes all the difference. He didn’t even begin his career as a motivational speaker until he was in his 40’s.

As a speaker, he encouraged others to believe in themselves. Ziglar emphasized that a positive attitude must be followed up by action before success could be achieved. To listen to his inspiring podcasts, visit http://zigziglar.libsyn.com/

In this video, he tells the story of a woman who complained about her job, changed her attitude about it, and changed her life.

Tools For Change

October 2, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

Reading self-help and personal development books, and listening to CD’s of them, is helpful to expand the awareness of the possibilities for yourself. It also can uplift you and put you in a more constructive mindset. But if you don’t start using some of the tools that you learn about, the improvements won’t last long. You need to create your own foundation so that you can build a strong structure that can withstand the winds of storms.

Here are a few techniques for you to begin with, if you need to start somewhere.

Meditation – Studies show that meditation actually changes the structure of the brain. It establishes a sense of well being, allows us to think more quickly and make better decisions, along with a whole host of other positive results.
Mindfulness – This type of meditation means that you just remain aware of the present moment. As with meditation, it changes brain structure, reducing fear, improving memory and productivity.
Self-hypnosis – This is a process of communication with the inner mind that can change ideas at level where they were programmed. It can reduce stress and anxiety, help change habits, grow self-confidence and improve all sorts of physical issues.
Cognitive techniques – This technique instructs you how to become conscious of negative ideas and change them. It’s effective for improving depression, anxiety, and negative self-talk.
Journaling – Studies have shown that when you write about your feelings, your situations, or your life, this can improve the way you feel physically and mentally. It helps the mind to reprocess the information at a deep level and builds inner resources.
Affirmations/self-talk – When you change the way you talk to yourself, you change the way you believe and behave. It helps increase optimism and is a key to stress management.

Choose one of these to begin practicing consistently and you’ll notice an improvement in your life in a very short time. It will give you the tool you need to hold onto when life gets a little bumpy. You’ll get through the challenges much more smoothly when you have been making time for your personal development.

Judgment Vs. Discernment, Part 2

July 30, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Whereas judgement assigns an emotional value on something, discernment is when you assess a situation or a person objectively and decide that you don’t want to participate. For instance, they don’t like apples, and decide not to eat one. There is no emotion attached to the decision. Just a simple “no thank you.”

Maybe an acquaintance keeps making disparaging remarks about Jill’s clothing as a way of teasing her. Jill has the right to decide that this isn’t a person she wants in her circle of friends. It doesn’t mean that she judges this person as “bad.” Just that the person’s actions makes her uncomfortable, and she doesn’t want to be around them.

Jill can accept the person as they are, knowing that they have the right to express themselves as they want. But also knowing that their self-expression isn’t compatible with hers. And if they really hurt her feelings, she can accept the individual, but not the way they act. If what they’re doing is inappropriate, then she can separate it from the person. Suppose a child leaves their bicycle behind her car, she doesn’t see it and runs over it. The child isn’t a bad person. They just did something irresponsible.

Being discerning means detaching from a situation, and letting go of any need to feel superior. It also means not avoiding making a decision for fear of being judgmental. Either of those issues has an emotional charge. Discernment is a spiritual quality, and one which we all need to develop for our spiritual evolution. We need to learn to say “no thank you” to that which is our lesser good, so we can say “yes” to our greater Good.
For if we can’t decide between turning left or right, how can we learn to follow the path of our Highest Good?

Empowering Your Mind

Mindset, Motivation and Empowerment

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