self-help – Page 39 – Empowering Your Mind

What is “anchoring?”

July 17, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: What is “anchoring” and how is it used?

Answer: “Anchoring” is a technique used by NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) practitioner to help to “anchor” a suggestion. When a suggestion is being given, the NLP practitioner, hypnotherapist, or the person himself can touch/press on a part of their body to “anchor” the suggestion.

It’s much like using an anchor for a boat. The body remembers the sensation, and when that place is pressed at any other time, the suggestion is recalled on a subconscious level.

Silva Mind Control uses a technique putting the first two fingers and thumb together to remember the peace the person felt while in the deep meditation. Its the same idea.

The body stores emotions, thoughts, ideas in the muscles and organs. You might have experienced (or had a friend who did) going to a massage therapist, and had the therapist massage an area of the back that then triggered tears, sadness, or anger. It’s because the body has locked in a situation that created emotion into the muscle.

“Anchoring” uses this process to remember positive ideas by locking them into the skin, tissue and muscle.

The Mirror Principle, Part 2

June 4, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Whenever you don’t like a trait in someone else, it’s usually reflecting something within you that you’ve concealed from yourself. It also may be that you recognize the potential for that trait within yourself, and don’t like it. I don’t like people to belittle others, or are cruel. When I hurt someone’s feelings, even unintentionally, it hurts me.

In the past, I would even avoid confronting someone who’d been mean to me because I didn’t want to hurt them. What I finally realized is that the potential to be cruel is within me, as it is within us all, but it’s well hidden. Since I acknowledged that, I can now respond appropriately to someone who is nasty.

You don’t have to act on those attributes you don’t like. But when you find out how the qualities you dislike are expressing in you, and accept them, the energy around them melts away. You no longer have to attract people who are reflecting the parts of you that you’ve masked.

The Universe simply sent them into your life to teach you to accept yourself. All of yourself. Once I began to be true to myself, and convey that to the world, I attracted friends and a partner who were more open with me. The Universe accepts you unconditionally as you are. Wouldn’t you want to accept yourself as much as the Universe does?

The Mirror Principle, Part 1

June 3, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Your life and relationships are a perfectly polished mirror for what is in your consciousness. One of the unpopular concepts having to do with this is, “When you don’t like something in someone else, it’s reflecting something within yourself that you don’t like.” You might have heard about this spiritual principle, and wondered about it, as I did. How could it be? I didn’t like people to be deceptive or cruel. Did that mean that somehow I was being that way? Try as I might, I couldn’t see that in myself. It took many years of observation and contemplation before I finally made some sense out of it.

Some years ago, I was involved with a couple of men who were deceptive and manipulative. These are two characteristics that immediately offend me. However, while I was in the relationships, I wasn’t aware that they were expressing these traits, even when they lied to me. After the second relationship, I decided it couldn’t be a coincidence that I’d attract the same type of man one right after another.

So I began to explore where I might be deceptive and manipulative. What I discovered was that I was deceiving the world about who I was. I was hiding great chunks of myself, afraid of being criticized or rejected. I wasn’t lying to others, the way these men had been. Instead, I was lying to myself.

That’s when I began to understand the principle. A person doesn’t have to be expressing the disliked attribute in the same way. For instance, two friends each have an issue with time. One of the friends is chronically late, and the other is obsessively early. The issue is the same, but they are presenting different facets of it. I know this to be true, as I’ve had friends who are always late, and I’m almost always early.

Your Personal Efficient Biofeedback Instrument

May 29, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

Are your shoulders ever tense? Do you ever clench your teeth? When you’re entering an uncomfortable situation, do you ever have butterflies in your abdomen? All of these just show that your body is an efficient biofeedback tool. It shows you what you’re thinking and feeling, even if you aren’t aware of it.

Whenever you’re stressed, your back muscles will tighten up in preparation to handle the threat. You may not even know that you’re stressed until you check in with your body.

Mentally or verbally rehearsing an argument after the fact may cause an upset stomach. It may not be happening in real life, but that doesn’t mean that your body doesn’t respond as if it’s happening now.

When you’re worried about something, you may unconsciously frown and furrow your forehead. You may even get a headache from tense neck muscles.

Your body shows you what you’re thinking about. Start listening to what it’s telling you. Check in with your body, and ask yourself, “What am I thinking about?” “What’s going on?” This will give you an indication of where your focus has been driving you.

Next, ask yourself, “What needs to change?” Stress, upset, anxiety, worry just keeps you immobilized. It cuts you off from creativity, inner resources and your problem solving abilities.

As soon as you redirect your attention to what you can do improve things, you instruct your subconscious mind to begin accessing those resources. Your subconscious mind will change its direction and begin seeking a solution. You can help it along by taking time to consciously relax. That will give it more energy to do its work.

The next time you feel out of sorts, reconnect with your body. It’ll give you all the guidance you need.

~ Linda-Ann

How Often Should You Repeat An Affirmation?

April 17, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

Question: For how many days, and how many times a day, should you repeat an affirmation?

Answer: You should repeat an affirmation (preferably out loud) for at least five minutes every day, and preferably fifteen minutes a day, for it to begin to impress your subconscious mind. And you should also repeat it whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively about the situation.

You should continue until you see results. It may take as little as a week or as much as several months to change your old thinking. But you should also have faith that your affirmation is making the changes necessary to manifest your desire.

You may not be able to envision how it can happen, but have faith that the Universe and your subconscious have that information.

Discover The Opportunity In The Midst Of Challenge

April 16, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

When you label a situation as “bad,” it tends to live up to your expectations. However, if you can change that attitude to one of looking for the best, it tends to work out for your benefit. Learn a powerful strategy that instructs your mind to seek for the opportunity in your challenges.

Rewrite Your Life’s Script

April 11, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”
~ Shakespeare

You are the writer, actor, director and producer of the play of your life. You often react automatically to the situations in your play. These responses are habits that were often formed during childhood. But you ultimately decide whether you’re going to continue in this rut or choose a new path.

Many times, because of your reaction to a situation, other people apply labels to you that you agree with and maintain. Whenever you retain a label that others’ have plastered you with, you let them define who you are and how you’ll act. You give them the power to assign a role for you to play. One that doesn’t reflect the authentic you.

It only takes a single powerful event at a key moment to make an impression that lasts a lifetime. A gifted, young pianist hits a wrong key during a recital, and her father berates her with, “You’re a failure as a musician.” From that moment on, her fingers fumble on the keys when she plays. She accepts the criticism and it becomes her identity.

A label makes sure that you know your lines and your part when the situation calls for it. You know what’s expected of you, and you do what’s expected, whether it’s good for you or not. If you’re really attached to the label, your subconscious will reject any opinion that conflicts with what you believe about yourself.

For instance, a person could believe that they’re not an artist because “I can’t draw a straight line.” But they have a great eye for design and composition. They won’t believe anyone who recognizes their talent because it goes against their long-held belief. They’ll continue to play the role of frustrated artist until they eliminate their label.

What roles have you accepted that are no longer valid or serving you? They may be so engrained, you aren’t even be aware of them. Consider where you feel frustrated, bad about yourself, or when you belittle yourself. These are great areas to start to peel off your labels and rewrite your roles. Decide how you want your play to change and begin producing a new one.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Book Review – Bradshaw On: The Family

March 29, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

Bradshaw On: The Family: A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem
by John Bradshaw

The author states that emotions are “energy in motion,” and valuable to us. This is only one of the many eye-opening concepts in this book.

Mainly, this book is written for people who have experienced dysfunctional homes, such as alcoholism or any sort of abuse in their childhood. Its information helps to identify and understand how the dysfunction affected them as children, and how it continues into adulthood.

Understanding is the first step to being able to move beyond the self-punitive and self-destructive habits that they may have as adults. But it’s also helpful for those who grew up in so-called “functional” homes, since in most homes there’s some sort of dysfunction.

The author writes a lot about rules, roles and how they affect an individual. He also addresses the family “trance,” saying that we accept ideas in that state and continue to operate with those concepts until the trance is broken.

This book was based on John Bradshaw’s television series of the same name. The series was more impromptu and as the author says, “lacked detail.” This book guides the reader into a better understanding of what they’re doing and why, and why their life may not be working.

Book Review – Guilt Is the Teacher, Love is the Lesson

March 26, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

Guilt Is the Teacher, Love is the Lesson
by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D.

Healthy guilt lets us know when we’ve violated our principles, formulates our conscience, and teaches us how we can do better in the future. However, when healthy guilt gets twisted into shame, it becomes toxic to the mind, body, soul and spirit. The author calls shame or unhealthy guilt as an “autoimmune disease.” With it, we reject our worth and very being.

This book is a valuable asset for anyone who is carrying around the burden of shame or unhealthy guilt. It begins by explaining the difference between healthy and unhealthy guilt, and details some of the characteristics of shame. Once a person recognizes the difference, they can do something about it.

The author explores the inner child’s role in a person’s life, and how the joy of the inner child has become suppressed through shame. Using questions, exercises and meditations, the reader learns to free their inner child from the bonds of shame. Ms. Borysenko also addresses the subject of forgiveness, stating that we forgive the person but not the offense.

This is a book of self-discovery and personal growth, that clarified for me how toxic shame can be. As we learn to love ourselves, letting go of the punishment that shame brings us, then we are able to move forward in our spiritual evolution.

Book Review – “How To Raise Your Self-Esteem”

March 7, 2012 Linda-Ann Stewart

How To Raise Your Self-Esteem: The Proven Action-Oriented
Approach to Greater Self-Respect and Self-Confidence
by Nathaniel Branden

This is a great book, not just for self-esteem, but also to raise self-awareness. This book is filled with strategies and exercises to help the reader not only improve their self-esteem, but increase confidence, self-acceptance, self-respect and authenticity.

The author describes self-esteem as “a feeling of personal competence and a feeling of personal worth…a sum of self-confidence and self-respect.” All of these go into a feeling of value. A person must feel “enough” to feel good about themselves and what they do. And a person with high self-esteem treats others with value and respect.

The author states that living consciously, in the sense of being aware of what they’re thinking and doing, is necessary to high self-esteem. Living consciously means a person learns to listen to themselves and to trust their impressions and decisions.

Other chapters address feelings of guilt, integrating the younger self, living authentically, selfishness, nurturing the self-esteem of others and more. The exercises are easy to do, mainly completing sentences, and the answers can be very illuminating. For any person troubled with feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, I’d recommend this book highly.