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Honor Yourself

Honor Yourself

by Linda-Ann Stewart

When I was young, I was given the message that I had to sacrifice those parts of me that made others uncomfortable. If I was talented, and it made another envious, I was supposed to hide my talent, otherwise I was accused of being “selfish.” At one point, I felt bad for making good grades because I somehow thought I was taking a good grade away from someone else. Many people are like me and have been told they were being selfish, when they were only being true to themselves.

In many cases, the definition of “selfish” has been perverted. If you say “no” to participating in an activity that would overextend you, you might be called “selfish” because it inconveniences the person who asks you. You can always consider your needs against what other people want from you, then decide the most appropriate action to take.

True selfishness is when you disregard the welfare of others. It doesn’t mean that you must ignore your own welfare to please someone else. But the term may have been twisted to become a club to manipulate you.

There is such a thing as healthy selfishness. That’s when you concern yourself with your well being. You’re not taking anything from anyone else, you’re just attending to your needs. Remember that everyone else has the same Universal power that you do to manifest what they want. They don’t need to take what is yours, whether it’s time or resources, to achieve their goal. Nor do you need anything of anyone else’s.

This isn’t a carte blanche to ignore the needs of others. But be aware that some people will have their own agenda when they put their desires ahead of your basic needs. You have a right to your needs and to express the Spirit within you. One of life’s lessons is to learn to honor yourself first.

Affirmation:

I honor myself. I recognize when someone tries to manipulate me, and take appropriate actions to take care of my well being. Everyone has the same connection to Universal power that I do, and can take care of their own needs. I have a right to be here. My welfare is as important as anyone else’s.

Success Begins With Your Mindset

Success Begins With Your Mindset

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Success is your natural state. You have the innate ability to accomplish anything you choose to do. As a child, you learned how to tie your shoes, use the alphabet and ride a bike. You learned how to reach your goal by moving toward it in small, incremental stages. When you missed your mark, you corrected your direction and tried again until you achieved it.

You didn’t question whether you’d accomplish it or not. You just kept working at it until you did. Only if you were told and believed that you couldn’t achieve it, would you fall short of your goal.

Whether you want to quit smoking, maintain an exercise program, make a sale, get ahead in life or fulfill your New Year’s Resolutions, your mindset will determine whether you succeed or fail. You have to believe that your goal is possible and achievable for you to be able to accomplish it.

If you don’t believe your goal is possible, then no matter how much effort you put into it you’re likely to be disappointed. Smokers who don’t believe they can quit will fail in their attempts. A salesperson who goes into a conversation with the idea they won’t make the sale will have his belief confirmed.

If you don’t believe that you can accomplish your goal, then you’re fighting an uphill battle against yourself. You want it, but you’ll unconsciously sabotage yourself to confirm your belief. When you serve a customer, they’ll sense your negative self-assessment and will say “No.” You’ll hold yourself back from committing your full drive, passion and determination to your desire.

It’s human nature to seek to be consistent with your beliefs. Do you dwell on your mistakes or difficulties and think it’ll never be different? If so, you’re setting yourself up to validate your idea. Even if you were handed success on a silver platter, if you haven’t conditioned your mind for it, success will seep away like sand through a sieve.

However, if you don’t succeed fully or immediately, it doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. You only fail when you give up. People who succeed aren’t defeated by setbacks. In each attempt, you learn something that you use to climb further up the ladder of accomplishment.

Before you can have success in the outer world, you have to accept it in your inner self. It’s like water rising to its own level. You’ll only have as much success as you can believe you can have. Studies have shown that a positive attitude is more important for success than education or skills, when it comes to getting a job and moving ahead.

The Universe created you to be a success, and you are the Universe in action in your life. Any block to it is your fearful mind believing in a lie. You were convinced of the impossibility when you were a child or when you were discouraged as an adult. The Universe is always a success, therefore success is your true nature.

Three ways to begin conditioning your mind for success:

1. Change your self-image so you identify with accomplishing your goal. Your self-image affects how successful you’ll be. Do you feel like a success or failure? Until a smoker can relate to being an “ex-smoker,” they’ll nearly always fall back into the old habit. Someone who has lost a lot of weight will have a hard time keeping it off until their self-image agrees with their new reality. A clerk will never be able to rise through the ranks until they’re able to view themselves as someone who could handle more responsibility. Discover and develop the qualities you need to be a success at what you want.

2. Picture some success you’ve had, no matter how small. Remember how you felt. When beginning a new project, associate that feeling of success with the first step you could take. Imagine it so vividly that it’s easy to put the steps into practice. Evoke a feeling of satisfaction when you think of your goal. Then make sure you begin to take action.

3. Don’t try to conceive of your final result as being inevitable. That may be too much a stretch for you at the beginning. Just open your mind to the idea that it’s possible. Imagine what the best outcome could be. By not trying to force it, you allow your subconscious to consider how it can begin to bring your ideas into reality. Turning it over in your mind allows you to visualize success without the pressure of fighting against conflicting ideas about it.

When you have the feeling that you’ll achieve your goal, you’ll uncover the resources and creative ideas needed to overcome whatever obstacles arise. Your mind will be ready for success, and will find the way to do what’s necessary to make your goal an accomplished fact. Establishing a positive and success mindset will carry over into all of your desires.

Affirmation:

I was created to be successful at whatever goal I chose. The Universe sees me as a success and operates through me. Success is my natural state. I now condition my mind for success by accepting that my goal is possible and achievable for me. Although I may not know how to accomplish it, the Universe and my creative mind know what to do and how to do it. I take the actions that I know to take and the next step now appears.

How do I achieve self-image, prosperity and success?

How do I achieve self-image, prosperity and success?

Question: I want a better self-image, prosperity, and success, but what do I work on first to achieve these?

Answer: First, a good self-image is the basis of the other two. If you don’t feel like you deserve good, you won’t manifest more prosperity or success. So the first thing I’d focus on is the self-image. I usually tell people to focus on one issue at a time, but since these three items tend to run hand in hand, I think you can work on all three of them at one time.

Write down what makes you feel bad about yourself. Do you feel like you don’t deserve, aren’t enough, aren’t worthwhile? Turn it around and create a positive statement that affirms your worthiness. Work on self-acceptance. And to begin with, I’d state that you deserve prosperity and success in the amount that you want. That would be the first step.

When you start to feel comfortable that you do deserve prosperity and success, then I’d expand the suggestion. State how much prosperity and success that you want. And remember, you don’t have to know how it will happen. That’s what your subconscious mind is for, to work out the details. That’s not to say that you don’t have to take some action, or move in that direction. But you don’t have to worry about the how.

Copyright 2004, 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Live According To Your Values

Live According To Your Values

When you live according to what is important to you, you’re living in tune with your deepest self. Discovering what your values are helps you to make wiser decisions. Learn 6 ways to clarify your values and gain the sense of fulfillment living according to them gives you.



Be True To Yourself, Part 2

Be True To Yourself, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Living up to your values isn’t always easy. Sometimes it can be inconvenient and difficult, such as trying to carve out family time from a busy professional life. But if you try to rationalize and ignore your standards, because it’s expedient in the situation, you’ll create internal strife and tension. When you violate your values, you feel abandoned, because you’ve betrayed your deepest self.

Honoring your values builds empowerment and self-worth. By supporting what you feel is important, you validate yourself and your choices. You feel good about yourself, feeling more whole and complete. By taking action on what you feel is right for you, you build a sense of self-respect. You approve of yourself and your actions.

When you live in alignment with your standards, then you feel worthy of happiness, abundance, joy, and all good. You’re more open to the Universal flow of good. There is less inner resistance to it and you feel more deserving of it. Other people recognize that you’re more in tune with yourself, and are drawn to you. And because you can trust yourself, they’ll be able to trust you. Other people know what to expect from you and will respect you for that.

Learning what your values are helps you to make better decisions. You can ask yourself, “Does this allow me to support my values?” and “Does this violate my values?” Sometimes, the choice to follow your heart can be difficult in the short term. You may have to sacrifice something you want so that you’re in alignment with your deepest self. But the long term rewards for being true to yourself are beyond measure.

Affirmation

I recognize and honor the values that I cherish. When I need to make a choice, I consider what’s important to me. Even if it’s a difficult choice, I realize that it’s worth it. My values are unique to me and I deserve to live in alignment with them. As I’m true to myself, I open to more Universal good of abundance, happiness, and joy.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Be True To Yourself, Part 1

Be True To Yourself, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” When you are true to yourself, you follow certain values that you live your life by.

A moral is “You must be honest,” and are generally dictated by culture, society or religion. But when you’re working on your income tax return, you might feel that you’re entitled to keep the money that you’ve earned. In this case, your value would be that any way to elude the regulations is ok, so that you keep what you believe is rightfully yours. Values are core beliefs that you have accepted or created and they direct your actions and decisions.

Values are also attitudes and behaviors that you’ve consciously decided are important to you. They motivate you to act in constructive ways. They might have been inspired by others, but they are ideas that you have chosen to live by. What they aren’t are ideas that have been imposed on you or you think you should have.

For instance, if you enjoy being an omnivore (eating meat and vegetables), and your friends pressure you into being a vegetarian, that’s not a value that you’ve chosen for yourself. And you’ll probably eventually return to what resonates with you. Some values are created by fear, such as, “Don’t rock the boat,” or “Be invisible.” These are constrictive and don’t allow you to expand into your potential.

A positive core value would be one such as honesty, independence, empathy, order, personal power, risk taking, family time and similar concepts. When you uphold your values and live accordingly, you feel fulfilled and authentic. However, when you aren’t true to yourself, or violate your individual values, you feel anxious and out of sorts. You probably feel guilty because you’ve violated what you cherish.

For instance, if you value honesty, you can’t shoplift or steal from another. For Anabel, honesty was a core value. As a teenager, she accidentally walked out of a store with a candy bar. In a store across the mall, she realized what she’d done. She went directly back to the original store, explained what had happened and paid for it. Rather than taking the easy way out and just keeping the candy, she took action on what she valued. If she hadn’t, she would have violated what she held dear.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Let Yourself Shine

Let Yourself Shine

When you let your light shine, you give others permission to let theirs shine, too. You raise your self-esteem and your light shines brighter as you deliberately share your light with others. Learn 3 easy ways to brighten another’s path by letting your light shine.


Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 2

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

If you shut yourself down by hiding your light, you block the flow of Universal good to you, as well as reduce the availability of your inner resources and creativity. You’re more concerned with your anxiety than you are with what’s going on with the other person. When you close yourself off, you’ve prejudged how others are going to perceive you. Don’t make their decision for them. Trust in yourself, and you might be surprised at how you’re accepted.

The best thing you can do for yourself, and for everyone else, is to be at ease with yourself and don’t try to hide your light. Be present with the people you’re with, accepting them for who they are. They may not be able to return the acceptance, but that’s their problem. When you let your light out into the world, you build your self-esteem. It shows that you value, or esteem, yourself, your opinions, talents and abilities.

When you are authentic, you encourage people who are timid to be more authentic, too. Marianne Williamson in “A Return to Love” says, “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” When you’re courageous and choose to be yourself, you’re giving others the message that it’s okay to be free, too.

When Grace’s self-esteem grew and she began to stand up to Hallie, the friendship ended. Grace realized that Hallie hadn’t been a friend for a long time. Although sad, Grace was relieved that she no longer had to keep herself hidden away. Allowing yourself to be authentic means that those who can’t accept you will move on to find others they can bully.

It’s safe for you to be authentic now. You’re in a different place in your life, and have accumulated knowledge, wisdom and resources that you didn’t have when you were younger. When you let your light out, you give others the opportunity to appreciate you and you’re more open to be able to appreciate them. You’re also a model for others to be authentic. As you honor yourself in this way, you’re better able to access your creativity. It allows you to be more successful in every area of your life.

Affirmation

I give myself permission to be authentic. In so doing, I open my mind and heart to more Universal good to come to me. I value my opinions, talents and abilities. It’s now safe for me to be myself and I know that I can handle any challenge that comes my way. I accept myself and others and know that I’m good enough.

Read Part 1 of Let The Real You Shine Through.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Take a Risk and Claim Your Authenticity, Part 2

Take a Risk and Claim Your Authenticity, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

As an art teacher and friend once said, “Give yourself permission to do it badly.” That’s one of the most freeing concepts for creativity. When you do this, you allow yourself to experiment and be spontaneous. And only with experimentation can you find new ways and techniques. Staying with the “same old, same old” will simply keep you in a rut.

Pick up a brush, lump of clay or camera and create something. Challenge some of the beliefs you have and say, “No” to something you don’t want to do. The sky is unlikely to fall, and you’ll feel stronger. Hold your ground when someone tries to bully you. Tell a friend how you feel when she’s always an hour late for lunch.

You’re more authentic when you risk. Stepping out of what’s secure and safe breaks down your inner barriers. You unblock yourself and let the Universe flow more fully through you. And even when things don’t work out, as sometimes happens, you have more resources to handle it philosophically. You can assure yourself, “At least I tried.” Giving yourself permission to try and fail can create a feeling of safety that allows you to try again.

I couldn’t sit silent and let the group be bullied into a course of action that would be unproductive. That would have made me feel like a victim. Because I risked going out of my comfort zone and speaking up, my beliefs were altered in a positive way. It gave me the courage to explore other areas and confront my fears.

When you risk, even if it doesn’t work out, it expands your horizons. You learn something valuable that you can use the next time. You’ve empowered yourself to stretch and be a victor. This establishes a pattern that can continue to reveal more of your authentic self.

Affirmation

When I try new things and experiment, I give myself permission to do it badly or fail. What matters is the attempt to move out of my comfort zone. As I risk new directions and activities, the Universe flows more smoothly through me into greater good. I empower myself explore new avenues and experiences. By allowing myself to risk, I open myself to be more authentic.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Take a Risk and Claim Your Authenticity, Part 1

Take a Risk and Claim Your Authenticity, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Many years ago, I was a member of a group that promoted and encouraged creative writing in the community. We’d been working together for a couple of years when a new member joined us. She came in with a host of ideas, many of which we’d already tried, with no success. Even after we explained that, she insisted on our implementing them anyway.

No one challenged her and said, “No, that didn’t work the first time and we’re not going to do it again.” I decided someone had to draw the line, and although I expected censure from the rest of the group, I stood up to her and said, “No.” It got a little heated.

After the meeting, I was surprised and amazed when the other members thanked me for standing firm. “Someone had to do it,” they said. This was the opposite reaction that I’d learned to expect, based on my childhood experiences. In my youth, if I set a boundary or challenged someone, I was ostracized. The members’ appreciation rocked my worldview. It altered even more when the new member called me and kept trying to change my mind. And that, from then on, she respected me.

When you risk stepping out of your comfort zone, you find a deeper level of self-commitment and self-acceptance. By being true to yourself, you give yourself the message that your opinions and values are important. This buoys up your self-concept and increases your self-respect, which in turn gives you a greater feeling of confidence. It encourages you to open up and be more authentic.

I felt the new member had to be stopped from taking us down a fruitless path, so I acted on what I thought was right. By following my values, I fed my self-respect and felt like I’d accomplished something. When I stepped out of my comfort zone, I found approval when I expected displeasure.

The same thing can be said for trying new things. Making the choice to risk trying something you haven’t done before, whether you’re good at it or not, opens your mind to new experiences and possibilities. You don’t have to be good at it, you just have to try. And if you don’t explore new activities or pursuits, you won’t find hidden treasures that make your heart sing.

This is the way children learn. They try, fail, and try again. When they’re learning to walk, playing with building blocks, or making a sand castle, they don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work out initially. Exploring and experimentation allows them to expand their awareness and discover what works and what doesn’t. Children are persistent and keep trying, even it they don’t succeed the first time. They’re authentic and their confidence grows as they try again and achieve their goal.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved