Browsed by
Tag: personal growth

The Winding Path Of Change, Part 1

The Winding Path Of Change, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Becky spent months trying to break up with her boyfriend. Although she knew he wasn’t right for her, he’d be so sweet and accommodating when she’d try to split up that she’d slip back into the relationship.

Things would be fine for a few days, then something would happen and she’d be reminded why she needed to move on. And the process would start all over again. Each time she repeated the cycle, it got more apparent why the relationship wasn’t going to last long term and she discovered more about herself.

Change is like that. It rarely tracks in a straight line. Whether you’re progressing in your career, or making personal changes, you’ll probably take detours and side trips along the way. It may feel like you’re going backwards for a while, and you could get discouraged. Fear not, you’ll soon be moving forward again.

Setbacks are part of the process. In a recession, businesses have to pull back and consolidate, strengthening their financial positions. In this recent recession, stores have had fewer products, shorter hours, and less staff. They have to let go of less profitable merchandise to focus on goods that are more popular.

Businesses that are creative and innovative thrive when the economy gets better. Retreating to stabilize your financial structure means you’ll be better prepared when the time comes to expand.

The same is true of personal development. Generally, when making changes, you take two steps forward, then one back. For instance, it takes a smoker an average of four attempts to quit before they succeed. Each time, they discover more about their triggers and strategies that work for them. Any kind of improvement goes through the same type of learning curve.

When you diet, your body can get stuck at a particular weight. If this happens you may lose heart and give up. It’s simply getting adjusted to a new set point. Your body is adapting to being lighter, and once it does, you’ll quickly drop a few more pounds.

Even in your professional life, you probably won’t have a straight path to the next level. You may move laterally for awhile, gaining more experience and developing your abilities. This gives you a better track record and stronger background for when you are promoted.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Guided Meditation to Expand Your Horizons

Guided Meditation to Expand Your Horizons

When you expand your limiting beliefs, you increase your self-respect. To do this, you have to risk trying something new. Here’s a guided meditation to help you rehearse trying something new and how it changes your attitudes and actions.



Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Take a Risk and Claim Your Authenticity, Part 2

Take a Risk and Claim Your Authenticity, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

As an art teacher and friend once said, “Give yourself permission to do it badly.” That’s one of the most freeing concepts for creativity. When you do this, you allow yourself to experiment and be spontaneous. And only with experimentation can you find new ways and techniques. Staying with the “same old, same old” will simply keep you in a rut.

Pick up a brush, lump of clay or camera and create something. Challenge some of the beliefs you have and say, “No” to something you don’t want to do. The sky is unlikely to fall, and you’ll feel stronger. Hold your ground when someone tries to bully you. Tell a friend how you feel when she’s always an hour late for lunch.

You’re more authentic when you risk. Stepping out of what’s secure and safe breaks down your inner barriers. You unblock yourself and let the Universe flow more fully through you. And even when things don’t work out, as sometimes happens, you have more resources to handle it philosophically. You can assure yourself, “At least I tried.” Giving yourself permission to try and fail can create a feeling of safety that allows you to try again.

I couldn’t sit silent and let the group be bullied into a course of action that would be unproductive. That would have made me feel like a victim. Because I risked going out of my comfort zone and speaking up, my beliefs were altered in a positive way. It gave me the courage to explore other areas and confront my fears.

When you risk, even if it doesn’t work out, it expands your horizons. You learn something valuable that you can use the next time. You’ve empowered yourself to stretch and be a victor. This establishes a pattern that can continue to reveal more of your authentic self.

Affirmation

When I try new things and experiment, I give myself permission to do it badly or fail. What matters is the attempt to move out of my comfort zone. As I risk new directions and activities, the Universe flows more smoothly through me into greater good. I empower myself explore new avenues and experiences. By allowing myself to risk, I open myself to be more authentic.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Take a Risk and Claim Your Authenticity, Part 1

Take a Risk and Claim Your Authenticity, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Many years ago, I was a member of a group that promoted and encouraged creative writing in the community. We’d been working together for a couple of years when a new member joined us. She came in with a host of ideas, many of which we’d already tried, with no success. Even after we explained that, she insisted on our implementing them anyway.

No one challenged her and said, “No, that didn’t work the first time and we’re not going to do it again.” I decided someone had to draw the line, and although I expected censure from the rest of the group, I stood up to her and said, “No.” It got a little heated.

After the meeting, I was surprised and amazed when the other members thanked me for standing firm. “Someone had to do it,” they said. This was the opposite reaction that I’d learned to expect, based on my childhood experiences. In my youth, if I set a boundary or challenged someone, I was ostracized. The members’ appreciation rocked my worldview. It altered even more when the new member called me and kept trying to change my mind. And that, from then on, she respected me.

When you risk stepping out of your comfort zone, you find a deeper level of self-commitment and self-acceptance. By being true to yourself, you give yourself the message that your opinions and values are important. This buoys up your self-concept and increases your self-respect, which in turn gives you a greater feeling of confidence. It encourages you to open up and be more authentic.

I felt the new member had to be stopped from taking us down a fruitless path, so I acted on what I thought was right. By following my values, I fed my self-respect and felt like I’d accomplished something. When I stepped out of my comfort zone, I found approval when I expected displeasure.

The same thing can be said for trying new things. Making the choice to risk trying something you haven’t done before, whether you’re good at it or not, opens your mind to new experiences and possibilities. You don’t have to be good at it, you just have to try. And if you don’t explore new activities or pursuits, you won’t find hidden treasures that make your heart sing.

This is the way children learn. They try, fail, and try again. When they’re learning to walk, playing with building blocks, or making a sand castle, they don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work out initially. Exploring and experimentation allows them to expand their awareness and discover what works and what doesn’t. Children are persistent and keep trying, even it they don’t succeed the first time. They’re authentic and their confidence grows as they try again and achieve their goal.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

How do I get my connection to the Universe back?

How do I get my connection to the Universe back?

Question: After I had an upheaval in my life a couple of years ago that changed everything, including me, I haven’t had the same connection to my guidance or to the Universe. How do I get it back?

Answer: There’s an old saying that goes something like “When we lose touch with God, God hasn’t moved, we have.” It sounds like you had a transformation during that chaotic time. It sounds like your perspective, your relationships to others and to yourself has changed. Why would you think that your relationship to the Universe wouldn’t change as well?

Your awareness has expanded because you’ve gone through a spurt in evolution. This means you’ve outgrown the old connection to your guidance and to the Universe. The connection is still there, but you have changed position in relation to it, and you’re still looking for it in its old form.

It’s like you used to have an oak tree in your old backyard. Once you’ve moved, you’re still expecting that oak tree to be in your backyard, even at your new house. You may have a grove of oak trees now, but you can’t see them because you’re looking for a single one.

You’re ready for your connection to be at a higher level than you’ve ever experienced before. You’ve gone through a maturing process, therefore your sense of guidance and the Universe will also be more mature. Meditate. Be aware of tiny signals, the still, small voice. You may sense it in a new way. Meditate on the Oneness of the Universe, and how It flows through you.

You’re building a new relationship with yourself, learning about who you now are. You need to do the same with the Universe.

Copyright 2003, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Judgment Vs. Discernment, Part 2

Judgment Vs. Discernment, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Whereas judgement assigns an emotional value on something, discernment is when you assess a situation or a person objectively and decide that you don’t want to participate. For instance, they don’t like apples, and decide not to eat one. There is no emotion attached to the decision. Just a simple “no thank you.”

Maybe an acquaintance keeps making disparaging remarks about Jill’s clothing as a way of teasing her. Jill has the right to decide that this isn’t a person she wants in her circle of friends. It doesn’t mean that she judges this person as “bad.” Just that the person’s actions makes her uncomfortable, and she doesn’t want to be around them.

Jill can accept the person as they are, knowing that they have the right to express themselves as they want. But also knowing that their self-expression isn’t compatible with hers. And if they really hurt her feelings, she can accept the individual, but not the way they act. If what they’re doing is inappropriate, then she can separate it from the person. Suppose a child leaves their bicycle behind her car, she doesn’t see it and runs over it. The child isn’t a bad person. They just did something irresponsible.

Being discerning means detaching from a situation, and letting go of any need to feel superior. It also means not avoiding making a decision for fear of being judgmental. Either of those issues has an emotional charge. Discernment is a spiritual quality, and one which we all need to develop for our spiritual evolution. We need to learn to say “no thank you” to that which is our lesser good, so we can say “yes” to our greater Good.
For if we can’t decide between turning left or right, how can we learn to follow the path of our Highest Good?

Copyright 2001, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Judgment Vs. Discernment, Part 1

Judgment Vs. Discernment, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Those of us on the spiritual path generally aim to be nonjudgmental. We know the dangers of being judgmental, and what can happen to ourselves and others when we fall into those negative patterns. But do you really know what judging is? Judgement is when a person places an emotional value of good or bad on an activity, person, or experience. When they see an apple, if they determine that it’s a terrible fruit, then anyone who eats one is also bad. Judgement comes from a feeling of shame and inferiority.

A person who judges others feels inadequate. They feel that they aren’t good enough. Not that what they DO isn’t good enough. But that they are not enough. They probably had parents and an environment that criticized them repeatedly, and they have internalized those statements. The only way they can get some relief from the pain and anguish is to dump their negative feelings on others. They judge others as “bad,” and then, momentarily, they can feel superior to someone or something else.

I once had someone tell me that anyone who likes the color green is stupid and has no sense of taste. Because I had the audacity to disagree, she took it personally, as if my opinion was attacking hers.

Being judgmental becomes a vicious cycle. If a person judges others, you can bet they’re doing the same thing to themselves. Otherwise, they wouldn’t need to find a target to shame. As people who are interested in developing spiritually, we don’t want to judge others, and we certainly want to stop judging ourselves. But too many people on the spiritual path swing too far in the other direction, and don’t utilize their God-given ability to discern what is better for them and what is not so great. There actually is a difference between judgement and discernment.

Copyright 2001, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

The Mask Of Perfection

The Mask Of Perfection

Most people hide away parts of their inner selves to keep them safe. One of the ways we do this is to wear a mask of trying to be perfect. But perfection isn’t authentic. It’s more about conformity and seeking approval. Set yourself free by letting go of the mask of perfection.



Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Book Review-You Can Have It All

Book Review-You Can Have It All

You Can Have It All:
A Simple Guide to a Joyful and Abundant Life
by Arnold M. Patent

This book explains Universal principles in a very basic and understandable way. Although I’d deeply been immersed in metaphysics for years, it wasn’t until I read the chapter on “Details,” that I finally grasped how it’s not up to me to figure out how things need to happen. It’s the Universe’s job to determine that. This concept was explained in just the right way for me to finally get it. When I did, it seemed that all I’d learned about this idea fell into place.

This is just one of the fundamental principles of metaphysics that the author explains. There are some exercises to help define your purpose, discovering what you love, acceptance of feelings, and more. While it’s written to explain the principles very simply, at the same time it goes very deeply into mental laws. This is a book to take your time to read, absorbing each chapter before going onto the next.

Copyright 2004, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

The Mirror Principle, Part 2

The Mirror Principle, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Whenever you don’t like a trait in someone else, it’s usually reflecting something within you that you’ve concealed from yourself. It also may be that you recognize the potential for that trait within yourself, and don’t like it. I don’t like people to belittle others, or are cruel. When I hurt someone’s feelings, even unintentionally, it hurts me.

In the past, I would even avoid confronting someone who’d been mean to me because I didn’t want to hurt them. What I finally realized is that the potential to be cruel is within me, as it is within us all, but it’s well hidden. Since I acknowledged that, I can now respond appropriately to someone who is nasty.

You don’t have to act on those attributes you don’t like. But when you find out how the qualities you dislike are expressing in you, and accept them, the energy around them melts away. You no longer have to attract people who are reflecting the parts of you that you’ve masked.

The Universe simply sent them into your life to teach you to accept yourself. All of yourself. Once I began to be true to myself, and convey that to the world, I attracted friends and a partner who were more open with me. The Universe accepts you unconditionally as you are. Wouldn’t you want to accept yourself as much as the Universe does?

Copyright 2001, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved