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So Far, A Good Year

So Far, A Good Year

It’s been a good year so far. Recently, I wrote an article about empowerment for the Association Executives of North Carolina. I was amazed and excited when it was accepted and immediately published in the March/April issue of their magazine, Success By Association. The article is entitled, “Empowering The Possibility Of Change,” and is in their “Leadership Strategy” column.

This happened shortly after having two articles published in the 2013 Winter issue of Ad Infinitum – Illinois Court Reporters Association newsletter. I’d connected with an Executive Assistant with an Association Management Company. We’d discussed the possibility of my speaking for one of the associations she manages. In our communication, I mentioned that my articles are available to be published in print or online magazines and newsletters. Within a few months, she let me know that not one, but two of my articles had been published.

I’m thrilled with the way this year is trending. New doors are opening and opportunities are appearing. I trust that the tendency continues to open greater avenues of success for us all.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

 

 

 

 

 

What You Say About Others Is A Reflection Of You

What You Say About Others Is A Reflection Of You

by Linda-Ann Stewart

When you talk about another person, you reveal more about yourself than you do about the person you’re discussing. You reveal your biases and the things that bother you. Many times, what you complain about is more a factor of your filters and how you perceive what they’ve said or done, than it is an objective observation.

I know insecure people who consider self-assured people as self-important and arrogant. No evidence to the contrary will shake them from their opinion.

Research shows that when one coworker rates another one, you learn as much or more about the rater as you do about the rated. Negative people tend to rate others as negative, and the same goes with positive people.

You tend to filter your opinions of others through your own filters, and how you view yourself. It’s been said that what we see in others is actually a reflection of who we are. This research, published in the July 2010 issue of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, tends to confirm that.

Read more about this study at What you say about others says a lot about you, research shows.

How do I use self-hypnosis to change a habit?

How do I use self-hypnosis to change a habit?

Question: How do I use self-hypnosis to change a habit?

Answer: Congratulations on wanting to change your life. Self-hypnosis can help you change a habit or quit something, but it takes dedication and commitment on your part.

For instance, I’ve had many smokers come to see me, saying “I really don’t want to quit. I want to want to quit.” In this case, they don’t have the commitment to stop smoking. They want a magic pill that will make it go away. Self-hypnosis makes the process of changing or quitting easier, it doesn’t make the choices for you.

Whatever it is that you want to change, you could decide what it is that you want instead of it. You could use an abstract, like greater self-respect or pride, or you could substitute something more concrete, like a carrot stick or green tea.

Once a day, in self-hypnosis, you imagine the desire for ‘whatever’ transferred to what you really want, and imagine yourself satisfied and delighted with the new substitute or abstract. Then, during your waking hours, whenever you think of the ‘whatever,’ you say to yourself, “No, I don’t do that anymore. Instead, I’m choosing ….”

The change won’t happen overnight, and you will have to dedicate yourself wholeheartedly to letting go of the habit or making the change, no matter what happens. And you may have to practice your self-hypnosis up to three times a day in the beginning.

Copyright 2004, 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Be True To Yourself, Part 2

Be True To Yourself, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Living up to your values isn’t always easy. Sometimes it can be inconvenient and difficult, such as trying to carve out family time from a busy professional life. But if you try to rationalize and ignore your standards, because it’s expedient in the situation, you’ll create internal strife and tension. When you violate your values, you feel abandoned, because you’ve betrayed your deepest self.

Honoring your values builds empowerment and self-worth. By supporting what you feel is important, you validate yourself and your choices. You feel good about yourself, feeling more whole and complete. By taking action on what you feel is right for you, you build a sense of self-respect. You approve of yourself and your actions.

When you live in alignment with your standards, then you feel worthy of happiness, abundance, joy, and all good. You’re more open to the Universal flow of good. There is less inner resistance to it and you feel more deserving of it. Other people recognize that you’re more in tune with yourself, and are drawn to you. And because you can trust yourself, they’ll be able to trust you. Other people know what to expect from you and will respect you for that.

Learning what your values are helps you to make better decisions. You can ask yourself, “Does this allow me to support my values?” and “Does this violate my values?” Sometimes, the choice to follow your heart can be difficult in the short term. You may have to sacrifice something you want so that you’re in alignment with your deepest self. But the long term rewards for being true to yourself are beyond measure.

Affirmation

I recognize and honor the values that I cherish. When I need to make a choice, I consider what’s important to me. Even if it’s a difficult choice, I realize that it’s worth it. My values are unique to me and I deserve to live in alignment with them. As I’m true to myself, I open to more Universal good of abundance, happiness, and joy.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Be True To Yourself, Part 1

Be True To Yourself, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” When you are true to yourself, you follow certain values that you live your life by.

A moral is “You must be honest,” and are generally dictated by culture, society or religion. But when you’re working on your income tax return, you might feel that you’re entitled to keep the money that you’ve earned. In this case, your value would be that any way to elude the regulations is ok, so that you keep what you believe is rightfully yours. Values are core beliefs that you have accepted or created and they direct your actions and decisions.

Values are also attitudes and behaviors that you’ve consciously decided are important to you. They motivate you to act in constructive ways. They might have been inspired by others, but they are ideas that you have chosen to live by. What they aren’t are ideas that have been imposed on you or you think you should have.

For instance, if you enjoy being an omnivore (eating meat and vegetables), and your friends pressure you into being a vegetarian, that’s not a value that you’ve chosen for yourself. And you’ll probably eventually return to what resonates with you. Some values are created by fear, such as, “Don’t rock the boat,” or “Be invisible.” These are constrictive and don’t allow you to expand into your potential.

A positive core value would be one such as honesty, independence, empathy, order, personal power, risk taking, family time and similar concepts. When you uphold your values and live accordingly, you feel fulfilled and authentic. However, when you aren’t true to yourself, or violate your individual values, you feel anxious and out of sorts. You probably feel guilty because you’ve violated what you cherish.

For instance, if you value honesty, you can’t shoplift or steal from another. For Anabel, honesty was a core value. As a teenager, she accidentally walked out of a store with a candy bar. In a store across the mall, she realized what she’d done. She went directly back to the original store, explained what had happened and paid for it. Rather than taking the easy way out and just keeping the candy, she took action on what she valued. If she hadn’t, she would have violated what she held dear.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Let Yourself Shine

Let Yourself Shine

When you let your light shine, you give others permission to let theirs shine, too. You raise your self-esteem and your light shines brighter as you deliberately share your light with others. Learn 3 easy ways to brighten another’s path by letting your light shine.


Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 1

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

As they were growing up, Grace’s friend Hallie put her down at every opportunity, undermined her successes, and accused Grace of “Feeling she was better than everyone else.” To try to reduce Hallie’s resentment, Grace stopped sharing the goals she achieved and her accomplishments.

In essence, she hid her authenticity to make Hallie feel less threatened. It didn’t work. Hallie could still see Grace’s light, and did her best to extinguish it. Nothing Grace did could have made her friend feel better about herself or eliminate her attacks.

When you’re authentic and let your inner light shine, it’s going to make some people uncomfortable. They’re insecure within themselves and they resent that you aren’t insecure, too. Creative and sensitive people pick up on that and try to deflect or reduce it by minimizing their achievements or becoming invisible.

Understand that nothing that you do, or don’t do, is going to remedy their anxiety. It’s an issue within them that they’ve focused onto you. You’re not responsible for their pain, for healing it, for making them feel comfortable with themselves or with you. There’s no reason for you to cater to their insecurities to try to make them treat you better.

When you close off your light, you do so out of fear. You’re judging yourself by old standards that don’t mean anything anymore. As a result, you condemn yourself and hide to avoid retribution. You’re simply reacting to old messages that have been installed in your mind. Your fear comes from filtering your current situation through outgrown situations from the past.

By not breaking free from your fear, you’re telling yourself that you don’t feel confident in handling the challenges of your life. However, those ideas came from a time and place that’s long gone. You no longer have to abandon yourself to stay safe. Now you can accept your power and authority.

Read Part 2 of Let The Real You Shine Through.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

How To Make And Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, Part 2

How To Make And Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

First, as you might do every year, write down all the things that you want to change in your life. But this time, prioritize them. Decide which are the most important, then select one of these to concentrate on. By focusing on one area at a time, you will be able to improve your chances of success.

Once you’ve chosen which area you want to concentrate on, write down all the steps you need to take to fulfill that goal. For instance, suppose Sam decides he wants to get healthy. To do so, he chooses to quit smoking, eliminate caffeine, sugar, and alcohol, to stop partying, get enough sleep every night, lose weight, start exercising, and eat right. He can’t do all of these at the same time, or his subconscious will rebel. Therefore, he decides which facet he wants to tackle first.

Break your goal down into reasonable steps. Don’t try to change the world in one week. As you accomplish one component, move onto the next one. It may actually take a couple of years to achieve your whole list, but in a couple of years you’ll be so much healthier than you are now.

Once you have your first element chosen, you can now decide on what physical actions to take every day. Taking physical action helps to convince the subconscious that you mean business, and shows commitment to the process.

Visualize yourself acting out your objective. As you imagine yourself living your goal, this gives your subconscious mind the direction it needs. It must follow your envisioning. Mentally rehearse each day, identifying with your new ideal, feeling how good it is to have accomplished your aim.

Write a short positive statement in the present tense that embodies your resolution. Use this affirmation in your visualization to reinforce it. Say the declaration aloud one hundred times a day. Print it on index cards and place them where you see them often. This keeps you focused on your goal and begins to impregnate your subconscious with what it is that you want. Trust that your subconscious is making deep level changes, and knows the best way to help you to transform.

By following these directions, you will be able to successfully make and keep your New Year’s resolutions. You have all the power within you to create a wonderful new life for yourself. Don’t be afraid to use it.

Copyright 2001, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

How To Make And Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, Part 1

How To Make And Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

I used to make a list of New Year’s resolutions, such as: lose weight, exercise, organize my desk, eat better, etc., etc., and so forth. However, within a day I’d broken at least half of them. The rest were blown by the end of the week. Since I felt like a failure, I just stopped making them. I figured why should I put myself through the frustration?

It’s too bad, because resolutions are a positive way to improve your life and change old habit patterns. Starting a new year with the intention of establishing a healthier life helps us to wipe the slate clean, to write a better script. We begin with great hopes, only to get sucked back into the familiar rut. Why is it that so many times we fail to attain our list of resolutions?

Think about this. What if your partner brought you a long list of things they wanted you to do immediately? For example, they wanted you to move all the furniture in the house, change the landscaping, paint the house, completely redecorate within a week? You’d groan, crumble and look for the closest hole to hide in. The same is true of your subconscious mind.

Your subconscious mind processes and stores everything you’ve ever seen, done, heard, thought, or experienced. All of this information mixes together to give you the life you now have.

If you resolve to completely recondition yourself within a month, your inner mind falters. “Too much!” it screams, and then proceeds to get you so involved in life that you forget all that silly stuff. An excessive amount of change at any one time overwhelms your subconscious. However, there are some things you can do to maximize your success with New Year’s resolutions.

Copyright 2001, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

The Winding Path Of Change, Part 2

The Winding Path Of Change, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

The reason for this winding path is that the subconscious doesn’t like change. It figures that your old beliefs, attitudes and behaviors have served you well. For your subconscious to establish a different direction, you need to be persistent. When you’re dedicated to making a change, this reassures your inner mind that you consider the new area suitable. Then, your subconscious needs to take its time getting used to the fact that you’re in strange territory, and make sure that it’s safe to be there. Once it’s gotten comfortable, it’ll allow you to cover more unknown ground.

If you change too much, too fast, without this process, you won’t have a firm enough foundation when the winds of stress blow. Stress can overwhelm any new attitude or behavior, and cause you to go back to what’s most familiar. The subconscious will channel its resources to deal with the crisis, rather than direct them to altering your life.

Also, too much change at any time is stressful in itself. In this case, too many adjustments would overwhelm the subconscious and it would sabotage any progress. Even though it may be frustrating, taking a step back to consolidate your gains actually helps you in the long run and supports eventual success.

Each time Becky stepped back into the relationship, she added to her knowledge and wisdom. When she’d move away from it, she integrated more of what she’d learned. Finally, when she realized that he wasn’t ever going to be different, she made the final break.

If she’d left before she’d assimilated all that she’d discovered, she would probably have recreated the same situation in another relationship. Instead, by allowing the natural course to play out, she ascertained which characteristics to avoid in a partner, and what ones to seek.

When you feel like you’re stalled, or have even taken a step back, realize that it’s part of the process of change. It gives you more wisdom, strength, and understanding for when you begin moving forward again. When you retreat and regroup, integrate and consolidate, it means you ultimately advance further and faster.

Affirmation

The Universe wants me to have my desire as much as I want it for myself. I recognize that getting to my goal may take me on a winding path. If I have setbacks, I keep my desire in sight. I learn from each step back I take, and use the knowledge to advance me further along the path. The entire process of change works for my benefit and my eventual success. Perfect action is always taking place as I pursue my desire.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved