Empowering Your Mind

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Many people believe that one of the main goals of their spiritual system is to destroy their ego. They have the mistaken idea that the ego is bad, and must be done away with to be able to advance spiritually. But that’s not actually the aim of these traditions. They’re simply trying to get their followers to give up the false sense of self, a form of psuedo self-esteem, which consists of narcissism, conceit, self-importance, greed and self-involvement. These are ways we use to fool ourselves to create a false sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, they don’t work and are actually self-destructive. But people who misinterpret the goal, and attempt to dismantle their sense of self, not just the false ways, can actually destroy their ability to function and make decisions.

I’ve known people who did just that, and began following a charismatic leader who thrived on power and control over his disciples. They gave up everything to him, including their ability to keep themselves safe. I remember one gentleman who abdicated his responsibility for himself and others, walked out of a marriage and alienated all his friends. He went from being a really nice guy to being self-righteous and obnoxious, which is exactly the opposite of what the spiritual traditions are aiming for.

There are so many trap doors that we can fall into when we believe that a sense of self is wrong. A belief in and respect for oneself is necessary not only for spiritual development but for personal growth. Our ego is our rational mind, simply allowing us to distinguish ourselves from others and make conscious choices for ourselves. When it’s in its proper perspective, the ego helps us determine what issues are ours and what problems don’t belong to us. If it’s not present, it can mean that we can’t understand when we’re being lied to or taken advantage of.

For instance, an abused wife is falsely told over and over that she’s stupid, and is to blame for her husband beating her. Her ego has been so battered that she can’t realize that it’s not her fault that her husband is taking his anger and frustration out on her. Once she gets out of that relationship, and begins to recover her self-worth and put her shattered ego back together, she’s able to understand that the problem was with her husband and his issues.

The ego allows us to have a sense of identity and be able to make healthy choices for ourselves. It depends on how much we value ourselves, or “esteem” ourselves, which is where the term “self-esteem” comes from. If we don’t appreciate our own worth, then we can’t fully recognize our connection to the Universe, or set boundaries to differentiate “us” from “others.”

Our feeling of self-worth is based on how we think about ourselves. It’s a thought process that we were trained in as children. We believed what the grownups told us about ourselves, whether we were stupid or smart, graceful or awkward, and a good person or not. These ideas were programmed into us before we had an ego, or could think independently. As we grew up, we took those judgments with us, added onto them, maybe changed some, and created a habit of how we viewed ourselves.

The good news is that we can improve our self-esteem. We can learn to change the way we think about ourselves and feel competent, self-assured, and have a strong set of values that works for us. When we no longer judge ourselves harshly, we can believe that we’re worthy of all the good the Universe has in store for us. Our decisions will be based on what’s for the Highest Good of all concerned, and not on fear of what could happen if we don’t do what someone else wants us to do. We’ll be able to live more authentically, and be more aware of our connection to All That Is.

Affirmation:

My ego, which is my rational mind, allows me to make healthy choices for myself, evaluate concepts and make decisions, and establish boundaries. I give myself permission to feel good about myself. Any old, negative ideas are reassessed and delegated to their proper place. I establish values that are appropriate for me and that give me a sense of peace. As my self-esteem improves, I recognize my true worth to the Universe.

Copyright 2007 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

self-improvement

by Linda-Ann Stewart

When you want to improve your life, you must first change your mind. Using affirmations or self-hypnosis is a way to imprint new information on your subconscious. They both use a principle of communication with the subconscious called “autosuggestion.”

You use autosuggestion all the time. According to the dictionary, autosuggestion is “The process by which a person induces acceptance of an opinion, belief or plan of action.” Whenever you talk yourself into anything, begin to tell yourself either positive or negative ideas that creates an emotional state of sadness or joy, or convince yourself of your competency or lack thereof, you’re using autosuggestion.

If you repeat a lie to yourself often enough, you begin to believe it and act as if it were true. The subconscious mind doesn’t determine which ideas are beneficial for you and which aren’t. It must accept the tendency of the thoughts that you dwell on and bring them into reality. Those concepts instill the subconscious with motivation and affect every other idea, behavior, and feeling you have. Autosuggestion is a communication between the conscious mind, which has the choice of what to think and focus on, and the subconscious, which must act on the information it’s been given by the conscious mind.

In hypnosis, a suggestion is an idea that’s presented to the subconscious, by you or another person, to help change the course of your thinking, acting, and/or believing. The thoughts you hold in your mind determine your feelings, how you behave and what you attract. And since, in hypnosis, the subconscious is more easily impressed, hypnosis can make positive improvements fairly rapidly.

Using the natural process of autosuggestion in a deliberately positive way is called affirmation. With an affirmation, you are declaring a new, positive concept and maintaining it to be true. The subconscious accepts it depending on the emotional energy you fill it with, the belief you have about it being true, and the amount of time you spend focused on your affirmation. Repeating it over and over, especially when you notice you’re thinking of its opposite, will instruct the subconscious to change its direction.

You are creating your life every moment of the day, with the things you say to yourself, the feelings they produce, the resulting beliefs, the attitudes formulated from your beliefs, and the actions you take based on your attitudes. Learn to use the principle of autosuggestion and affirmation in a positive way that manifests the life you want.

Copyright 2007 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

self-improvement

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Our desert area has been receiving some much needed rain. One day, it threatened but never fulfilled the promise, so Jeff and I decided to take a walk before dusk. We were about ten minutes from the house when it thundered and the heavens opened. As we sloshed our way home, getting drenched, I chuckled and said to Jeff, “This is something we’ll laugh about in a few months.”

I could have gotten upset and made myself miserable (or emotionally miserable, as I was already physically uncomfortable) about the situation. Instead, I took a more objective view of the experience and kept it in perspective. The incident wasn’t going to last more than thirty minutes in our entire lifetime, and it was going to become a good story to tell. So why should I let its importance get blown out of proportion?

I have a favorite saying, “Everything is relative.” I don’t believe in a black and white world, nor do I believe that there are absolutes (except for the Universal Absolute of love). All of our beliefs, attitudes, and experiences are in relation to everything else in our lives. For example, a person may enjoy eating high fatty foods and not exercising. Then one day, their doctor says, “You have heart disease, and unless you change your lifestyle, you’re going to die.” The patient now has to make a decision about what they want most.

All of a sudden, they realize that their pleasurable life is killing them. They have to change their perspective towards their lifestyle to continue to live. If they love life, then they’ll choose to permanently change their menu and activity level. In the span of a day, the importance has shifted from one type of enjoyment (cakes, sauces, butter) to another kind (mobility, breathing, continuing to be with loved ones).

I’ve known many people who had a diagnosis of heart disease, diabetes, or respiratory problems from smoking that suddenly transformed their viewpoint about their way of life. They either had to change or suffer a lesser quality of life. However, they didn’t just go through the motions of modifying their habits, without adjusting their view of them. To be successful, they had to make their changes mental and emotional, and not just behavioral by quitting smoking or altering their diet. They became highly motivated to make the changes at every level of their being. What was important in their lives switched from one day to the next.

This is true in every area of our lives. For example, Josie refused to talk to her friend due to a minor disagreement. Then she heard the friend had lost her job, her partner, and had a health scare. Suddenly the dispute paled in comparison to Josie’s concern for her. Her point of view about the situation shifted.

It’s like looking through a kaleidoscope, then turning the far end. When you do, the pieces of brightly colored glass move around so that you see a completely different pattern. The same pieces of glass are there, but their design has been radically rearranged. We don’t tend to let go of the familiar until it becomes more trouble than it’s worth and our perception of it changes. Then, the formerly comfortable becomes less important than the new objective, and we’re willing to put our energy towards improving our lives.

When you’re confronted with a difficult decision, an unsettling situation, or are simply feeling upset, you can ask yourself “Will this matter in a month?” or “What is the long range effect of this, and what am I willing to pay for it?” If you want to alter an attitude, belief, emotion or behavior, figure out how to change your perspective toward the old way of being and increase your motivation for the new. Once your perception has made an impression on the subconscious, all the pieces will adjust to your new viewpoint.

Affirmation:

I remember that “Everything is relative.” As I make my choices, I assess what’s most important and keep things in perspective. I decide what is best for me in the long run. When I make a decision to change, I know that the Universe will support me as I support myself. Using all of my inner and outer resources, I easily and willingly release the old way of being and now move in the direction of my goal.

Copyright 2007 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

self-improvement