“Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand and Deal with People Who Try to Control You”
By Patricia Evans

This is a great book for anyone with a controlling person in their life. Patricia Evans has written a couple of other books that I’ve recommended, “The Verbally Abusive Relationship” and “Verbal Abuse Survivor’s Speak Out.” “Controlling People” goes into greater detail of why these people act as they do.

For them, the people close to them are cardboard characters that they project their own thoughts onto. They expect people to agree with them at all times, and to read their thoughts about what they want.

The old “If you loved me, you’d know what I want” is their theme. And if the other person doesn’t agree, or reflect the controlling person’s ideas, then the controlling person feels betrayed and many times will fly into a rage.

Not only does this happen in personal relationships, but it also occurs in society, different cultures, and religions, resulting in bigotry, prejudice, stereotypes, and sometimes death. It all has to do with trying to control others so that they think like the controller, so the controller feels comfortable and safe.

This book was an eye-opener for me in understanding various people I’ve had dealings with. I recommend it to anyone who has a boss, relative, friend or partner who is controlling.