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Book Review – “Beyond Postive Thinking”

Book Review – “Beyond Postive Thinking”

“Beyond Positive Thinking:
A No-Nonsense Formula For Getting The Results You Want”
by Dr. Robert Anthony

This book a step-by-step process for “right thinking” rather than “positive thinking.” It doesn’t pull any punches regarding why you do the things you do that sabotage your goals. And it specifically tells you want to do about them, so you can achieve your dreams.

This is a users manual for the Law of Attraction. Beginning with the basics of self-esteem, it dives deeply into all the aspects of what could block you from your desires. It addresses the obstacles you encounter and suggests solutions for them.

This is one of the best books I’ve found that explains how to go about creating the life you want. It doesn’t just give you steps to follow, but instructs you on strategies and time-tested techniques. He explains how to use affirmations, intentions, visualization and more.

It’s written in a very clear and understandable manner, directly addressing what to do and why. It’s tightly packed with information, explanations and exercises to change your thoughts and reframe your beliefs.

You’ll need to read this book over and over again, because you won’t be able to absorb all of it in a single reading. If you want to change your mind to change your life, read this book.

“Love Enough To Let Others Heal” Part 2

“Love Enough To Let Others Heal” Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

I know I’m not alone in the struggle between loving others unconditionally and loving myself. Many of the people I meet, and my clients, struggle with this, too. How can we balance our spirituality with insisting someone treat us with honor?

With God as a loving Presence, God accepts all that we do without judgment. As we try to emulate that aspect of God, we forget that God doesn’t protect us from the consequences of our actions.

If we step on a rake, we get to experience the rake hitting us in the face. We learn from that to be careful around rakes. God doesn’t stop the rake from hitting us, but if we ask for help in healing our bruised face, God is there to heal us.

That is why there is cause and effect. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This is to help us learn from our mistakes.

The core of this is, God doesn’t enable. The Universe is constantly growing and expanding. Unless we do the same, we get prodded along. Cosmic two-by-fours whack us.

When you allow people to put you down, humiliate you, belittle you, then you are contributing to making their inevitable consequences harder for them. Universal laws will eventually pull them up short, and the more they’ve run roughshod over peoples’ lives, the harder their lesson is going to be.

By setting boundaries, you are growing in love. Love of self, and loving the other person enough to put a stop to their breaking Universal Laws of compassion. Love them enough to allow them to experience the consequences of their actions.

That’s the only way any of us learn. In that way, you are emulating high spiritual qualities and reflecting the unconditionally loving Divine Presence within you.

Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“Love Enough To Let Others Heal” Part 1

“Love Enough To Let Others Heal” Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Over several years, as I grew spiritually, I discovered that letting others hurt me, and excusing them, hurt them as well. My intentions were to make them feel better about themselves. I was trying to reflect the Divinity within me by loving unconditionally.

When my friends would snap at me, I’d tell myself they didn’t mean it, that they were simply unhappy. Returning anger and hatred with love and compassion, I let my friends treat me like dirt because I knew they were wounded.

I wanted them to heal, and thought my loving them unconditionally would initiate the healing. It never did. It just encouraged them to remain wounded and lashing out at me.

In co-dependency terms, this is called “enabling.”  Some time back, when I was told that it wasn’t my role to be their whipping boy, I countered with “But, we’re supposed to turn the other cheek. Give the shirt off our backs. Love unconditionally. Be nonjudgmental.”

As time went on, I finally realized that I wasn’t helping them by letting them hurt me. I was enabling them to remain the same, and continue treating me with disrespect because they knew they could.

I wasn’t creating any urgency for them to heal. And sooner or later, they were going to get a cosmic two-by-four up side the head to force them to begin the healing process. The longer they continued their behavior, the worse their eventual crisis would be.

I was actually contributing to their woundedness by not setting any limits. I needed to value myself enough to stop them devaluing me. As I began to cherish my well being, and counter their humiliations, my life began to improve overall.

Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Book Review – “The Verbally Abusive Relationship”

Book Review – “The Verbally Abusive Relationship”

The Verbally Abusive Relationship:  How To Recognize It And How To Respond
by Patricia Evans

Years ago, this book leaped off of the library shelf at me. It was at a time in which I was just recognizing that some people in my life were belittling and demeaning me, and that type of behavior wasn’t beneficial. It seems so simple now, but at the time this was a new concept for me. The information in this book was an eye-opener to me. The author explains how a person becomes a verbal abuser and why they do it.

I thought that if I could just explain myself better, the person would understand and not be so angry and mean. I learned that they didn’t want to understand. A verbal abuser feels so bad about themselves that they put others down to make themselves feel better, more powerful. And nothing I said or did was going to change their behavior.

This book details the different types of verbal abuse, how to recognize if you’re being abused, and what to do about it. The author describes the signals you might physically and mentally experience when you’re being verbally abused.

As children, we’re told that “Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt me.” But words do hurt, deeper and longer sometimes than physical abuse. My hurt feelings were always invalidated, and I went along with that, until I read this book. This book is so valuable to me that I don’t let it out of my possession.

Copyright 2003, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“How to Save Yourself from Toxic People” by wikihow

“How to Save Yourself from Toxic People” by wikihow

from wikiHow – The How to Manual That You Can Edit

You’re in the best of moods and the day feels just great. Suddenly you feel sapped of energy and your spirits have been dampened. The source of the deflation? You’ve just encountered someone else’s bad attitude and it has cast a pall over your own mood. While it’s a personal choice to seek to deflect the negative moods of others, it’s not always that easy – emotions are contagious and we’re programmed to empathize with others around us and to tune into their emotions.

The negative moods and thinking of a toxic person are pervasive – nervous energy, anger, sadness, complaints, clinginess, a view of the world constantly tinged with negativity. And if you happen to be caught up with toxic people daily in your life, by letting their negativity get to you, it can erode your own sense of self and deflate even the most optimistic outlook. Constantly negative emotions can lead to illness and a shortened lifespan – toxic personalities are not healthy for themselves or for you. And since misery loves company, miserable people will try to drag you into their fold; however, take charge of defending yourself and learn how to break free from toxic attitudes around you, to sustain your healthy, fulfilling, and optimistic outlook.

Steps

  1. Discover your current attitudes towards life in general. There is no point in striving to be progressive and successful, when you yourself possess the negative energy that holds you back. Take stock of your actions and words. If your own behaviors head in the direction of self-pity and pessimism (a self-perceived victim status), it’s time to re-track and start over by making a choice to adopt more optimistic beliefs and attitudes. Life will give you what you expect, so that your expectations need to be balanced with realistic measures and a more positive framework. This starts with you as a person before looking to blame others for your failures and miseries.

  2. Learn to pick up on the energy (or vibes) around you. Besides knowing yourself well, you need to know how you feel when toxic people are around you. You probably already know how to do this but learn to make it a conscious act, not just an unconscious reaction. For example, think about how you feel when you walk into a business where everyone is friendly and cannot do enough to engage you in casual conversation. Then, think about walking into a business where the mood is sour, the assistants are barely able to mumble a hello to you and appear to have other things to do than to engage with you, their faces filled with resentment and a desire to be anywhere than where they are. The energy in both cases is enormously different and you pick up on it immediately. It is the same with individuals; you will grow to consciously notice when you feel immediately uplifted or plunged downward by the people in your presence and you can take steps to make choices about how to react once you recognize these feelings.

  3. Recognize the toxic personality types. We all have our down days, and each of us is prone to the blues now and then. However, when it comes to toxic people, the blues appear to be a permanent state of being and feeling down, glum, angry, etc., becomes a primary personality trait rather than a temporary state of mind. The following toxic personality types are ones to be on the watch for:

    • Angry at life: A person who is always angry, blowing up, shouting, and reacting to everyone in a volatile manner is a toxic person. They need a lot of help but you don’t need to be their battering board. Staying around a person like this will cause you to become angry too, to see slights where there are none, to react instead of reflecting, and to fear things.
    • Everything in the world is rotten: A person with this worldview is always down and always finds the dark side in everything. And they love miserable company; the more dark thinkers agreeing with their conspiracies and frightening theories, the better. Oddly enough, this person will often be competitive about their misery, trying to outdo any other person’s misery. Prone to seeing other people’s mistakes as enormous transgressions (and therefore cannot forgive) and to fearing that people are going to let them down/let them go any moment, they live in constant state of fate-determining negativity and lack hope. Since they don’t feel capable of changing their trajectory, they’ll try to drag you in with them.
    • Attention seekers: Insecure, unable to create their own sense of self-worth, and emotionally immature, this person is a “clinger”. They want your attention, they want it when they want it (now!) and they need to be at the center of everything. This person’s constant need to be heard and rescued will wear you down eventually and their inability to settle down and take a good, long hard look at themselves means that they try to suck the energy and life from elsewhere, namely from you.
    • Gossips: When all else in your own life fails, spill the beans on other people’s misfortunes is the motto of this difficult character. Instead of keeping confidences and being supportive, this person allows envious feelings to get the better of them instead of getting the better of their envious feelings. Unfortunately, gossip feels exciting to those receiving it initially but it’s like a sugar high; it soon crashes and the nasty after-effects harm everyone. If you have found yourself caught up with a gossip and you’ve enabled them or benefited from them, don’t get hung up on worrying about your complicity; forgive yourself, make a choice to only speak well of others from this point on, and remove yourself form their sphere.
    • Fearful frighteners: Worry, anxiety, “what ifs”, and fear push this personality. Everything in life, from relationships to crossing the road, holds some potential for fear and terror, and this person’s anxiety is unfortunately very contagious.
  4. Take a look at the company you keep (or attract). Looking at the list in the previous step, analyze friendships, family relationships, working colleagues and decide objectively just how healthy these people are in terms of your overall well-being and composure. Do they bring out the best in you or do you serve as a sponge for all their problems and miseries? If the latter is the case, for your own sanity and well-being, let them go. This might be really hard initially because of the expectations and sense of obligation that builds up in relationships but staying with people who lead you into constant misery isn’t going to be rewarded, so don’t subject yourself to it. Disengage yourself from their company politely by minimizing contact until a healthy distance can be maintained. You need this time to ponder and reflect on saving and preserving yourself, drawing on the optimism, hope and positive energy you have within.
    • There is a primal instinct in each of us to mirror others we’re with. It’s a survival and a social technique. And if that mirror is murky, negative, and lacking in self-esteem, it’s a mirror you need to throw a drape over for the sake of self-protection and moving forward. Remember that you can’t change another person, only yourself, so don’t bog yourself down with excuses about being responsible for them or feeling pity for them. You can only truly help a negative person when you’re no longer influenced by them.
  5. Listen selectively when engaging in any conversation. Seek to hold onto the positive and constructive aspects of any conversation. Train your mind to consciously throw out the bad essence of the conversation. It becomes a matter of choosing what it is you wish to dwell on; allow the good side to hold stronger for you and to serve as the thoughts you focus and ponder on. When negative Ned starts getting really trying, return positive energy through positive words or suggestions that are supportive. Doing this creates a space between you; while the other person may be internally struggling to refute to your positive insistence, it is clear to them that you aren’t going to be won over to the dark side!
    • Create a personal signal to remind yourself to keep deflecting the negative conversation and signals beamed at you from a toxic personality. It might be pulling a piece of your hair, digging your thumbnail into your palm, flicking your wrist, tapping your knee, etc. This minor action is a protective mechanism to remind you to consciously note that negativity is being sent your way and to make a conscious effort to refuse it entry into or lodgings in your own thoughts.
    • When dealing with blamers, shift the perspective. While the toxic personality wants another person to take the blame for a situation, stay calm and keep insisting that the problem be solved instead of discussing whose fault it is. Seeking to blame someone keeps things static, and stuck in time, and a solution won’t be found because it has been lost from sight and the blamer doesn’t want to take responsibility for improving their own situation anyway. Stick to the facts and point out what needs to be done to fix a problem. If they become hot-headed or violent, remove yourself from them and allow them the space to calm down.
    • Use empathy and compassion with those who seek to spread fear. Limit your exposure to their fear talk by turning their negative talk back on itself. For example, if they insist that your business venture is going to fail, ask them “Well, what if it doesn’t?”. Help them to see the possibilities rather than endless negatives. And when they really get to you, see their fear as a form of being upset and tell yourself over and over again that this is their reaction, not yours, and that you have the choice to remain grounded and true to your goals.
    • Always remind yourself that negative emotions have a time limit; they do not last, they will soon pass. You do not need to carry the ball of negativity with you beyond the encounter.
  6. Develop a beautiful mind. This can be achieved by accepting the reality of things that cannot be changed. Let bygones be where they belong – in the historical archives of repressed memory. If these emotions become too difficult to attain closure, seek help to close this chapter fully and finally. In this way, you won’t allow the negative thoughts to fester and control your present and future self; understanding and learning to accept what has been as a lesson in growth rather than a crystallization of who you in time for all time is the way to break free from negativity. Acceptance forms a great part of this beautiful mind, bringing closure and leaving the mind and body free to achieve a more fruitful and higher quality lifestyle.
    • Take up practices that help to ground you. Some things that might help you include meditation, yoga, reflection in nature, martial arts, endurance sports, a hobby that fulfills a passion, etc. Find something that calms and centers you and to which you can retreat when you need to re-energize yourself.
  7. Know what your needs and desires are. Take time to decipher what is important to you. Know what your likes and dislikes are and develop some idea of where you would like to see yourself in the future. Write down your plans on paper. Paste it on a wall where you can constantly remind yourself and stay focused. This will also help you when times get tough and you feel the gripping desire to fall back into older negative habits. More importantly, knowing what you want in life acts as a shield to prevent you from taking on board other people’s expectations for you and treating those as your own instead. By all means remain open to hearing what others have to say but don’t be swayed by what doesn’t fit with your needs and desires, or by what stops you from being true to yourself.

  8. Stick to your own beliefs and be comfortable with yourself. The doubts, regrets, and misgivings that others feel should be of no consequence to you and the paths you follow in life. It is commonplace to hear such comments as “My parents wanted me to do X, so I did”, or “My spouse wanted to go to X city, so we did” and then to see the speaker behave as if their life were determined by someone else’s choices. Or, there is the perennial “If only I had done things differently, I’d be famous/rich/important by now, but X held me back.” None of these thoughts about the past are helpful to the person you are now; don’t allow other people or their preferences to serve as your excuse for a lack of an internal moral compass and set of beliefs. Your faith and confidence in your own beliefs will get you to where you want to be. Once again, listen if you have to, but do it selectively. Keeping away from people who confuse you is the next very best choice to make – make excuses to stay away.
    • At times, you will need to make compromises with the people close to you or who impact your professional life but do so knowingly and confidently, and not because you feel bludgeoned into making choices by a toxic personality.
  9. Find like minded people. As we all know, no person is an island – we humans are social creatures. As time progresses, your entire being will become accustomed to happy and wholesome interactions. What you will discover when you focus on sustaining an optimistic mindset and refusing to dwell on the negativity is that you will attract people with a similar mindset to you. Mingle with company that helps you to develop a healthy body and mind – be with optimistic, upbeat, and happy people. The more time spent with people of this nature, the happier and brighter you will feel. Their nourishing, healthy, and positive attitudes are contagious in a good way and will help you to stay on an even keel. Equally, once you reach the point whereby anything or anyone who disrupts your sense of balance and inner peace starts to irritate you, you know how to politely deflect them, and this confirms that you’re well on your way to a greater and more contented life.
    • Pass it on. Use the inspirational example of the more positive people in your life to guide yourself away from the toxic thought dwellers. In turn, become more like the optimistic people by seeing the best in others and complimenting the good you see in people. Be the source of a “healthy chain of emotions” by remaining upbeat when interacting with others; accept and give compliments with thankfulness, maintain eye contact with them, and smile.
  10. Strive to become one with yourself, the environment and your needs. This may be difficult at the onset but given time, the routine of seeing everything as a wonder and finding the good and positive in everyday interactions will eventually fall into place. A calm and collected mind is ingenious and complements productive and sensible thinking.

Tips

  • Strive to see the best in everything you do. Once the voices on the inside echo louder than the voices on the outside, then you have achieved a higher level of thinking within yourself.
  • It matters not if people think of you as antisocial or arrogant; such terminology is all too easily applied to a person who assertively strikes forth to make a mark in the world and to better themselves. You need to become the most important person in your own life. If their presence brings you undue grief, then you are better off without them or their presence and this is not disloyal or snobbish; remember that toxic people will attempt to make you see it that way so as to drag you back into their toxic worldview but even their judgment of you is wrongheaded and in reality an excuse for their own behavior rather than a level-headed summation of who you are.
  • Find one thing a day to be grateful for. Force yourself to do this until it becomes a daily habit you cannot live without. You will discover that it causes negative encounters to move away from your thoughts and will replace these with more harmonious, happy, and productive thoughts.
  • By remembering the above steps, your mind and psyche stands on guard against those to knowingly or unknowingly put you down or create misgivings about your own potential and capabilities.

Whenever tempted to complaint or feelings of ‘not enough-ness’, try belly breathing in a resounding “Yes”, followed by a gentle “Thank you” exhale. We always have the very basic ‘gift of the given’ and our job is to make space to find it. Breathing, yoga, meditation, music, sport and intimate communication are exquisite activities to deepen this appreciation. In the end, our real security, our spiritual security, revolves around the simple two word practice, deepened throughout the day.

Related wikiHows

Sources and Citations

  • Bo Forbes, Protect your mood, pp. 78-81, in Body+Soul, August 2007 – research source

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Save Yourself from Toxic People. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

You Can Only Change Yourself

You Can Only Change Yourself

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Many years ago, I was in a relationship with someone who took me for granted. On a 100-degree day in May, I waited outside in the shade for an hour for him to come meet me. When he finally arrived, he had a great excuse. After a couple of similar incidents, I realized it was a pattern, and made a different decision. I couldn’t change him or control his actions, but I could certainly change how it affected me and my actions.

The only person you can truly change is yourself. When someone treats you with less than respect, you can go into victim mode and feel helpless, or you can choose a more empowered way to respond to it.

You may have a co-worker who lives to criticize, a boss who micromanages, an adult child who is self-destructive, or an abusive spouse. All of these are difficult situations and relationships. If you could fix them easily, they would already be resolved. But it’s not about fixing, it’s about responding to them in a different way.

1. Love yourself. Love yourself enough not to sacrifice your well being to their insensitivity. The Universe doesn’t want you hurt in this way. Have compassion for yourself and for them. They have their own connection to their inner selves and don’t need you to cater to their demands. If your best friend were having the same experience you are, what would you suggest they do?

2. Take your power back. You aren’t at their mercy. How long are you going to let them control your feelings? There are things you can do to circumvent their inconsiderate treatment of you. Some of these strategies take action on your part. When one person changes in a relationship, the dynamics of the relationship change. The other person sometimes changes as a result. Or they can escalate their demands and abuse to try to force you back into the familiar role. But taking back your power puts you into a pro-active rather than re-active position.

3. Change the way you think about it. It’s not about them. It’s about you and your well being. You aren’t the target. They’re doing what they are because they’ve gotten away with it for so long. Nobody has held them accountable for their actions. They may act this way to feel powerful, or for some other reason. But their excuse isn’t important. No matter what you do, it’ll never be enough for them.

Sometimes, you can’t just tell them to take a hike. It may be counter-productive to your bank account or downright dangerous to confront them. There are many resources on how to deal with bullies, difficult or toxic people. Search for them and find techniques that will work for you. The bottom line is, how can you deal with them while taking care of yourself?

A year after the first incident with my then boyfriend, I was once again waiting outside in the heat for him to meet me. However, this time, after twenty minutes, I left. When he called me later, he had a great excuse again.

“That’s fine,” I said. “But in the future, I’ll only wait fifteen to twenty minutes. If you don’t show up, I’ll leave.” He argued with me, rationalized his actions, but I held firm. I wasn’t going to be left outside twiddling my thumbs and risking heatstroke again.

The choice was his. Either meet me when he said he would, or I’d leave. Simple. I let him know what the consequences of his decisions would be and followed through on it. Interestingly enough, after he did it one more time and I carried out my promise, he never made me wait again. I didn’t change him at all. All that changed was the way he treated me.

Affirmation:

I let go of trying to change other people, and concentrate on my own beliefs and behaviors. Everyone has the same access to their own power and inner self. I love myself enough to care for my well being and allow others to do the same. I am now in charge of my feelings, and know that I have the power to make positive changes in my life. I’m Divinely guided to the best way to constructively cope with difficult people while taking care of myself.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Are You Ready For Greater Self-Esteem?

Are You Ready For Greater Self-Esteem?

Writer, speaker and hypnotherapist, Linda-Ann Stewart, will be offering an exciting free teleclass this month. In the highly educational, free one-hour teleclass, “Self-Esteem Isn’t Earned, It’s Learned.,” Linda-Ann will discuss whether self-esteem is earned by achievements, or a learned trait. She will also cover how people can improve low self-esteem, and develop the confidence to achieve what they want in life.

There are two critical questions you must ask yourself to achieve your life’s goals.

  1. How can I develop self-esteem that’s true and will see me through life’s trials?
  2. Can I earn it by doing more or learn it by taking some important actions?

Self-esteem is the all important gauge of how you feel about yourself. It gives you a sense of worthiness and feeling of being competent. High self-esteem allows you to feel appropriate and assured, as a person. It is the foundation inside yourself on which everything else is built. With good self-esteem, there’s nothing you can’t do.

Self-esteem is also necessary to feel a connection to God, Spirit or the Universe. If you don’t feel good enough for the world, or worthy enough for the good Life can offer, why would you feel like you are acceptable to God?

This one-hour conference call at 5:30 p.m. PDT, Thursday, March 24, 2011 will cover a variety of topics, including:

  • What self-esteem is
  • How self-esteem develops
  • What steps to take to gain a sense of self-worth
  • And more

There is no charge for the teleclass, except for normal long distance fees. Registration is limited. For more information, or to register now, visit www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/se-tlcls.html

This life-altering opportunity can open the gates to help people achieve all they want from life. Register today to improve your life.


“How to Stay Positive when You Know Your Life Sucks” from wikiHow

“How to Stay Positive when You Know Your Life Sucks” from wikiHow

How to Stay Positive when You Know Your Life Sucks
from wikiHow – The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Thinking negative? Here are some strategies for how to start thinking positively and accomplish what you want in life.

Steps

  1. Ground Yourself. The most common reason why people think their lives suck is that they aren’t living their own lives. Look deeply into whether you are acting to please others – to please family, friends, and society. Realize that you need to get to know who you are and what your needs are, and make the choices to follow your own path. To know these things, a path of meditation and inner exploration is invaluable.
  2. Look on the inside. What are some qualities you have that you like about yourself? Are you funny? Are you intelligent? Are you sincere? Are you generous? What do you have pride in? Try focusing on the positive things in your life. You may be having a positive influence on others even when you think you’re useless.
  3. Prove those negative thoughts wrong. When you find yourself in a bad mood, you could think of the negative things such as, “I’m dumb and annoying”, “I’m better off dead”, “I’m ugly, I wish I looked different”, etc. Even though it’s not true. Change your mind. Look for your good features, think about the ones that you know love you, look on your greater side. Realize that nobody’s life is easy and that there will always be ups and downs, and moments of low self esteem. Don’t automatically assume that nobody cares. Every person matters to someone. You’re alive for a reason.
  4. Appreciate what you see. Look in the mirror. Find some beautiful things about yourself…. Do you have nice skin? nice nails? beautiful eyes? full lips? Find stuff that appeals to you. When you can’t change something, change your attitude towards it!
  5. It’s all how you look at it. Jealous of the people with ‘amazing’ lives? They chose to be that way! Remember, there are people living in mansions who are miserable and people living on the street who are perfectly happy. It’s all on how you look at it.
  6. Determine how your life could be better. What can you do to make your life better? What do you desire to do? How do you want to feel? Make a few reachable goals and your own strategies. The first step is usually the hardest – getting help or admitting you need it.
  7. Get motivated. What motivates you? What gives you energy to go on everyday? Music? Love? Family? A 1km run? God/Allah? Your attitude? Your pet? Friends? School? Give yourself a boost by focusing on what is important to you personally.
  8. Remember that some things can pass with time. There will be a tomorrow. There will be a next week. There will be a next month and perhaps by then, things will have changed for the better.
  9. Reminisce. Whenever you feel like the future is ‘hopeless’, think about happy memories. It will help make you feel better and remind you that in the future, there will be good things, too. Think about all the good things you’ve experienced, felt, and achieved, and consider how many more good things could be waiting ahead. There will be many great moments in your life – don’t let a few obstacles get in the way.
  10. Don’t stop yourself from feeling the joy. It’s okay to step back once in awhile and just enjoy the moment. Even in tough situations – it’s important to smile and laugh here and there. Don’t restrict yourself from doing things you love because they’re “not important” or because you think you’ll be criticized for doing them. Let yourself enjoy life even if you’re not at the best place you could be. You only live once – make the best of it.
  11. Develop a gratitude journal. It’s pretty simple. At the end of every day, write down five things that have made you happy or appreciative that day — not necessarily big things, even small ones count. For example: nice weather, being praised by my boss for getting an urgent errand done, my playful dog, kids and hubby kissing me goodbye before they went to school/work, a hilarious joke a mate shared, etc.
  12. If you feel persistently sad, unmotivated, anxious, hopeless or fearful, seek professional help. You may be suffering from a mood disorder or nutritional deficit which could be contributing to your situation. Remember there is always somebody there who wants to help you. You are valuable!

Tips

  • To “go for it,” simply get up and do it. There is a small voice inside saying “Get up!”, and you need to do what it says; just dive in! Turn off the computer, turn off the TV, and get going!
  • When you think positively, your whole views change about the world and you tend to look on the better, clearer side. It may sound stupid but being resentful is what really renders positive thinking useless. When you let down your walls (or hold out until they collapse…) really trying to “focus on the positives.”
  • If the above fails for you, take the Buddhist view: Life is difficult. The fallacious thought is that we can change that. In accepting that life indeed is difficult, we begin to make it less painful…not less difficult. Accept that life is full of difficulty and choose the religion, belief system, or substance to ingest to decrease the pain; that is after all what the rest of us do. Life can suck, deal with it.

Warnings

  • Don’t make the mistake of standing still rather than giving it a try.
  • Don’t get lost in self-pity. Remember you have the ability to change your outlook and your situation.
  • Resist the urge to act out moods on those around you. Instead, write, confide in a friend, draw, take a walk, etc. Do something creative or physically active, something you feel comfortable doing and that others don’t have the right to criticize.
  • Consult someone if you start having suicidal thoughts. Don’t keep it inside.

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Do You Resist Accepting More Good?

Do You Resist Accepting More Good?

Most of consciously would love more good in our lives. But some people unconsciously restrict it, based on fear of offending others. Here are a couple of reasons why you might avoid accepting good, and some new attitude possibilities to resolve them.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“Don’t Wait To Feel Worthy To Succeed”

“Don’t Wait To Feel Worthy To Succeed”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

A while back, I read an article that talked about your readiness to accept abundance. The author mentioned that you sometimes don’t receive the good you desire because you don’t feel worthy. His advice was to get over it. Though your feelings of worthiness tend to contribute to the good you can accept, or the lack thereof, it isn’t the whole picture. I’m sure you know successful people who don’t feel worthy. Why else would there be an epidemic of addictions in the towers of success? Alcoholism, workaholism, addiction to prescription and non-prescription drugs just to make it through life.

Successful people have opened themselves up to succeed in business. They’ve accepted all that goes into it. They’ve removed their beliefs in failure, they’ve changed their attitude about their business, their financial situation, and their lives to create the right atmosphere for their success. They may have been motivated by feelings of unworthiness, a need to prove themselves to someone, a need to fill the empty place within them with success, or some other motivation. They have achieved abundance, and they’ve worked hard for it, but they still don’t feel worthy of their own success.

On the other hand, I’ve known many good, talented, hardworking people who struggled all of their lives, but never achieve success in business. They deserved to succeed, just as much as anybody else, but they didn’t. And they probably felt just as worthy, or unworthy, as the successful person. They blamed bad luck, or the economy, or something else for not succeeding when in reality it is their own belief systems that held them back.

When you feel bad about yourself, you might bounce checks as a way of verifying your bad opinion of yourself. Or you might turn down opportunities because you don’t feel you’ve suffered enough. That was one of my patterns. I was told by people who’d worked hard and ended up with nothing but an empty pinata that I didn’t deserve what good I’d manifested. For a long time, I believed them. I couldn’t allow myself to be successful until I’d struggled as much as the talented people who’d never achieved their potential.

The article I read reminded me that you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you expect, and what you’ve identified with. The Universe rewards your consciousness. If you have a consciousness of failure, that’s what you get. If you have a consciousness of health, that’s what you receive. Whatever your consciousness, that is what you get to experience.

Do you identify with life flowing smoothly, and everything working out, no matter what the appearance? Then so be it. Do you identify with a statement like, “I can’t do anything about my job or my finances?” If so, then you get to wallow in that. Your consciousness attracts conditions in the outer world to fulfill your inner beliefs. The conditions of your life are a direct reflection of your consciousness.

Instead of waiting until you feel worthy of abundance, health, or good relationships, why don’t you begin to identify with it now? Rather than reaching outwardly for your goal, begin to pray for the consciousness of it. Raising your consciousness to accept what you desire will adjust any old, restrictive attitudes. When you have the consciousness of your desire and have identified with your good, then your goal will show up in your life. Whether you feel you deserve it or not.

Copyright 1999, 2010 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

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