Browsed by
Tag: personal growth

Use Gratitude Lists To Increase Your Optimism

Use Gratitude Lists To Increase Your Optimism

Remember how you were always told to count your blessings? It was to get you to focus on what positive things were in your life, rather that dwell on the negative.

Listing three or more things that you’re grateful for each day is one of the best ways to begin to become more positive and optimistic. It doesn’t make the difficulties go away, but by focusing your attention on better things, you feel better and are able to deal with challenges easier.

Studies are now finding that using this simple technique for just three weeks actually still affects a person positively six months later. The mind has been trained to look for good in the world. Not only does this increase happiness, but it also can help those with depression.

When things look darkest, look for some good in your life. Use it in your personal and professional life. Practice it when you feel down, stressed or pressured. You’ll be training your brain to work at more positive outcomes.

The original source for this article was Want to Boost Your Office Optimism? Try the Tetris Effect at Psychology Today.

“Are You Afraid Of Accepting More Good?”

“Are You Afraid Of Accepting More Good?”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Many years ago, I participated in an exercise at a workshop to show us how at ease we were with allowing good into our lives. As I imagined a little extra good flowing in, I was fine. But when I visualized a lot more good, I started to get anxious, even scared.

The exercise continued, expanding the amount of good I would let in. When I got past that first barrier, I was once again comfortable with the concept of letting more good into my life. It was an interesting exercise for me, showing, that for some reason, I was fearful of allowing more Universal good flow into me.

Why would anyone be afraid of more good? Imagine heaven smiling down upon you, living in grace, everything falling into place in your life. Why would that create anxiety? Isn’t that exactly what you want?

Since the time of the exercise, I’ve discovered that many people share the fear I experienced. It comes in various shapes and forms, and from multiple causes. And it’s one reason you unconsciously block your desires. Because of past experiences, you don’t know what catastrophe will happen if you actually achieve what you say you want in life.

Over the years, I’ve identified a few reasons for that concern:

Fear of a backlash. If you receive more good, you fear that somehow it will be taken away. It’s almost a superstition that one hand will give the good, and another hand will take it away. Sometimes, this comes from childhood. You might have received something you really wanted, but then had a cherished toy taken from you because your parent decided that you’d outgrown it.

Have to give it away. I’ve known several people who deliberately kept their income at a low level so they wouldn’t have to give their extra money to indigent relatives. They couldn’t say “No” to the relatives, and save the extra for a rainy day in their own life. From a young age, they were trained that they had to give all their extra toys and cherished possessions to their siblings or cousins. They were the “Cinderella” of the family, and haven’t realized that things can be different now.

Fear of punishment. Somehow, you fear that more good will bring some punishment upon you. Some force will come down and make you pay for having something great happen. You’re receiving more good than you deserve and should be flogged for it. The only thing that punishes you is your old programming. You deserve all the good you receive.

This is one of the issues I discovered I had. I once had a childhood friend who would put me down whenever I had something nice happen in my life. She once told me that she wanted to make sure I didn’t exaggerate my importance. So I stopped telling her of any positives that occurred.

To begin to overcome this irrational fear that more good is scary, examine what happened when you were a child. When you got some toy or reward that others didn’t get, how did you feel? What happened? Did you get beat up, was it taken away, were you emotionally abandoned, resented or attacked? Maybe you always had to share, and when you got the toy back, it was damaged or destroyed.

Whatever happened to you, it set up a pattern in your subconscious to expect this type of reaction every time you received something good in your life. And it probably continues to this day. To begin to combat that programming, remind yourself that you’re the grownup now, and you have the power to say “Yes” or “No” or “Take a hike.” And that you have the strength, ability, knowledge and resources to take care of your own inner self and worth.

I still practice the workshop exercise occasionally. It gives me feedback as to where I might be blocking myself, and to expand my acceptance of more good. When I feel the fear, I talk to it, letting it know that it doesn’t have to protect me anymore. You can do the same thing, and allow yourself to open your mind to receive more good every day.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Exercise Is Effective To Combat Depression, Anxiety, and Stress

Exercise Is Effective To Combat Depression, Anxiety, and Stress

Many years ago, I was depressed from a relationship breakup. I knew that exercise would help my mood, so I forced myself to go for a walk. After 30 minutes, on the last quarter-mile to my house, I checked in on my mood and found it had improved by 80%.

In the years since, many studies have validated my experience. Exercise is considered almost magic in what it can do for depression and anxiety disorders. I know it felt like magic for me.

Yet another study has come out verifying how amazing exercise can be for these mental conditions. Exercise reduces depression, anxiety, and stress, increased energy, and re-establishes positive behaviors.

Until my walk, I hadn’t been able to plan or work on a project that needed my attention. Afterwards, I had the energy and ability to focus on what I needed to do.

Drugs and medications take weeks, if not months, to start working and give people a light at the end of the tunnel. Exercise is effective within 25 minutes. Imagine taking a pill, and a half-hour later feeling significantly better.

Yes, it’s hard to drag yourself out to do it, but keep the end result in mind. In a half-hour, you could feel better if you exercise, or you could feel the same as you do now because you sat on the couch. Which do you prefer?

To read more about this current study, visit  Sports Are 80 Percent Mental: Is Exercise The Cure For Depression?

“Secrets to Setting An Intention”

“Secrets to Setting An Intention”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

When you set an intention, you’re focusing your energy to create a new behavior, attitude, or experience in your world. You’re saying to yourself, and the Universe, “This is what I want.” The Universe always says, “Yes,” to your goal, for It supports all of your endeavors.

However, your subconscious mind needs to be convinced. It knows your intention, but it will always act on your prevailing thought. Which may not agree with your current desire. It will follow the idea with the most energy behind it, the strongest emotion, and the one that is habitual. To get its cooperation for your change of direction, you have to be completely committed to your desire.

Here are some strategies that can increase your success and make it easier to achieve your goal.

Make a plan and work the plan. You must be focused mentally on your goal, and take steps towards it. Break the goal down into stages, then smaller steps, and each day make one tiny advance in the direction of your dream.

Be specific about what you want. The Universe and your subconscious work best with a clear idea of what you want as your goal. If you want a new car, decide what make,  model, and what color. The Universe always pours good in the form of substance into your life. And your subconscious forms that substance into reality. Your subconscious creates a pattern of that idea, then seeks the way to bring it about.

Use affirmations to support your change of belief and attitude. In this way, you begin to empower your intention and increase its influence in your subconscious. You’re not changing the Universe’s mind with affirmations. Affirmations help to reprogram and expand your subconscious to accept more Universal good. Repeat affirmations for 15 minutes at least once a day that underscore your belief that your goal is possible, that you deserve it, and that doors are now opening for you. State that you now have this goal in your life. This gives your subconscious the model to follow.

Change your thinking and position towards the issue. You may have a deep seated belief that you can’t accomplish it, or that you don’t know what to do. The problem is that you’re entrenched in your old patterns, and can’t see any way out. If all you do is change your attitude to believing the change possible, that will alter the dynamics. You have to break the stalemate that has kept you mired down. Evaluate what you believe about the issue, and find a way to open up the door to a better way of  thinking about it.

Take some action. Any positive action. This shifts the energy and breaks the status quo. It gains the attention of the subconscious, which will then realize that you’re serious about changing. It could simply be exploring classes and sending for information in your interest zone. Or you could go out and start networking. Just create some channel for the good to start flowing to you.

Visualize the end result. You don’t have to figure out “how” it’s going to come to you. That would actually short-circuit the energy. This is different from being specific about what you want, and establishing the steps you’re going to follow. You don’t know how you’ll find the right car, even when you go out and start looking. Although you know what kind of job you want, you can’t know where it’s going to be. Just mentally rehearse how you’ll feel when you achieve and what you’ll be doing. Use all of your senses and imagine it as if it already has happened. And make sure you’re in the visualization, not an observer.

Ask the Universe to establish order. Since you may not know what to do or how to accomplish your goal, ask the Universe to create it in Divine Order. Sometimes, what is best for you isn’t what you think it is. Let go of the concern over the outcome. You don’t have to worry about it. You’ve done your job by focusing on what you want, opening your mind to a greater experience of it, visualizing and taking action. The rest is up to your subconscious and the Universe. The Law of Attraction will take over and do what’s necessary.

These strategies activate all levels of your being: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual, and focuses them on your goal. This increases the power of your intention because all aspects of you are now involved. Every hour, check in and quickly reinforce your commitment to your intention by thinking of the end result. When you successfully follow these steps when you’re setting and following through on an intention, you may be surprised at how quickly it will manifest.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

, , ,

“Don’t Wait To Feel Worthy To Succeed”

“Don’t Wait To Feel Worthy To Succeed”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

A while back, I read an article that talked about your readiness to accept abundance. The author mentioned that you sometimes don’t receive the good you desire because you don’t feel worthy. His advice was to get over it. Though your feelings of worthiness tend to contribute to the good you can accept, or the lack thereof, it isn’t the whole picture. I’m sure you know successful people who don’t feel worthy. Why else would there be an epidemic of addictions in the towers of success? Alcoholism, workaholism, addiction to prescription and non-prescription drugs just to make it through life.

Successful people have opened themselves up to succeed in business. They’ve accepted all that goes into it. They’ve removed their beliefs in failure, they’ve changed their attitude about their business, their financial situation, and their lives to create the right atmosphere for their success. They may have been motivated by feelings of unworthiness, a need to prove themselves to someone, a need to fill the empty place within them with success, or some other motivation. They have achieved abundance, and they’ve worked hard for it, but they still don’t feel worthy of their own success.

On the other hand, I’ve known many good, talented, hardworking people who struggled all of their lives, but never achieve success in business. They deserved to succeed, just as much as anybody else, but they didn’t. And they probably felt just as worthy, or unworthy, as the successful person. They blamed bad luck, or the economy, or something else for not succeeding when in reality it is their own belief systems that held them back.

When you feel bad about yourself, you might bounce checks as a way of verifying your bad opinion of yourself. Or you might turn down opportunities because you don’t feel you’ve suffered enough. That was one of my patterns. I was told by people who’d worked hard and ended up with nothing but an empty pinata that I didn’t deserve what good I’d manifested. For a long time, I believed them. I couldn’t allow myself to be successful until I’d struggled as much as the talented people who’d never achieved their potential.

The article I read reminded me that you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you expect, and what you’ve identified with. The Universe rewards your consciousness. If you have a consciousness of failure, that’s what you get. If you have a consciousness of health, that’s what you receive. Whatever your consciousness, that is what you get to experience.

Do you identify with life flowing smoothly, and everything working out, no matter what the appearance? Then so be it. Do you identify with a statement like, “I can’t do anything about my job or my finances?” If so, then you get to wallow in that. Your consciousness attracts conditions in the outer world to fulfill your inner beliefs. The conditions of your life are a direct reflection of your consciousness.

Instead of waiting until you feel worthy of abundance, health, or good relationships, why don’t you begin to identify with it now? Rather than reaching outwardly for your goal, begin to pray for the consciousness of it. Raising your consciousness to accept what you desire will adjust any old, restrictive attitudes. When you have the consciousness of your desire and have identified with your good, then your goal will show up in your life. Whether you feel you deserve it or not.

Copyright 1999, 2010 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

, , , ,

It’s All About Choice

It’s All About Choice

by Linda Ann Stewart

Every moment of every day, you are making choices, from the moment of awakening to the time you go to bed at night. Your strongest thought determines what you’ll do at any given time, whether it’s conscious or habitual. In the morning, do you get up when the alarm buzzes or hit the snooze button? Do you cook eggs or oatmeal for breakfast? Which route do you take to work? Every moment is a fork in the road, and you travel one way or the other.

Your attitudes and actions have been created by your past choices that have become automatic over time. As a youngster, you could either accept or reject your caregivers’ assessments of you. One person would believe it when a father accused them of being “worthless,” while another would consider the source and discard the label.

Sometimes, you don’t even realize that you have options. When you were young, other people made decisions for you. Or maybe you accepted the attitudes of those around you to be able to cope in your environment. After you grew up, you lived on autopilot without assessing those old ideas. This resulted in struggling through a life based on those outdated concepts.

There may have been times when you felt that you had no alternatives. That only meant that the other choices would have been harder to live with. A person in an awful job may feel they have to stay in it, no matter what. However, they could always find another job, even if it would be at a lower pay scale. Or even work two jobs to earn an equivalent income. Peace of mind and satisfaction may be worth having less or working more.

You choose what your thoughts are, even when they seem to be reflexive. If negative thoughts arise spontaneously, you can challenge them and change them. George Eliot said, “The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.” If a situation doesn’t end up like you want, you can always change your mind and go in a different direction.

The key lies in recognizing that you were always the one who made a choice. You’ve done so even when you don’t like the outcome or feel stuck. Making no decision is a decision in itself. Going along with what someone else wants is also under your control.

By realizing you’ve always chosen your thoughts, beliefs and actions, even if by default, eliminates the feeling of victimhood and hopelessness. This puts the sense of power back with you, where it belongs.

Be aware that every moment of every day, you’re making choices. If they are made automatically, without thought, then it might be time to evaluate them to see if they’re still valid. By switching from habitual decisions to making intentional ones, you transform from being unaware to being more conscious. When you become aware that there are other options, you can then select a better way.

When you recognize you have choice, even if the alternative doesn’t seem to be of equal benefit, then you open up a wide range of possibilities. It’s the difference between always looking down at your feet and raising your gaze to the horizon. Doing so takes your power back and allows your subconscious to discover better opportunities.

Affirmation

I always choose my thoughts, beliefs and actions. Even when I’m on autopilot, I decided my direction long ago. Now I bring those automatic ideas out of the shadows to assess whether they’re still useful. If I don’t like my current situation, I know that I can make a different choice and improve my life. Realizing that I always have a choice, I reclaim my power and set my subconscious to search for better opportunities.

Copyright 2010 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

, , , , ,

“Empower Yourself Through Mindfulness”

“Empower Yourself Through Mindfulness”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Have you ever set the teakettle on to boil, gotten distracted checking your email, and had the kettle boil dry? I have. This is trying to do too many things at once, or multi-tasking. When you multi-task, you’re trying to juggle several balls or situations at one time.

Keeping more than one ball in the air at a time, splits your attention, causes you to miss other details, and wastes energy as you keep them moving. Studies have shown that multi-tasking actually is more stressful and less efficient than staying with one project and seeing it through.

You can really only focus on one thought at a time. The mind darts from one idea to the next so quickly that it only seems to be thinking of several things at once. It’s possible to do one thing which is automatic or has become a habit, while doing or thinking of another. You do this all the time, such as when you wash the dishes and plan the next meal. In this situation, you were only conscious of one thing, your meal planning, and you cleaned the dishes automatically. They didn’t take any of your attention.

Although you can switch from one thought or activity to another, it takes time and extra energy. If you’re talking on the cell phone while driving, there’s a good chance you could run a light because you get caught up in the conversation and your attention drifts from steering the car to the person on the other end of the call.

When you’re multi-tasking, you’re being pushed by inner pressures and outer demands. Rushing from one situation to another creates confusion that then takes mental energy to sort out. You’re actually being reactive, acting over and over in ways you’ve always done, rather than responsive, or consciously choosing how you want to act in the situation.

Mindfulness can relieve the pressure and help you handle your challenges more effectively. Learning to be mindful, or in the moment, has wide-ranging benefits, such as improved mood, better memory, enhanced problem solving, healthier immune system, increased optimism, and a greater sense of well-being.

Learning to be in the now, the present, or in the moment, takes practice. You can start by simply noticing your breath while you’re meditating. If your mind wanders, simply observe the fact without judgement and bring your attention back to your breathing.

Focus totally on a task, whether it’s doing the dishes, answering email, or working on a project. You can bring it to a point of completion, even if it’s not finished, and then go on to the next task. While you’re working, only think of what you’re doing at that time. Whenever you find your mind wandering, remind yourself to “Focus” or “Be in the moment.”

You can work towards a goal, in the future, while being in the present and dealing with what needs to be done now. Focusing on your current project narrows your attention so that you can aim all of your energy into the present activity. This allows you to get it done easier and faster. Being in the moment frees up your mental space to allow your subconscious to better process information, work out solutions and be creative.

Your future is based on your thoughts, feelings and beliefs of the present. When you stay in the present, you aren’t concerned about the future, which is yet to be, or the past, which is over and done with. Being in this moment, you can choose what you want to think, feel and believe and more powerfully create what you want.

Affirmation

I let go of concern about the future and stay focused in the present. When thoughts and feelings arise, I observe them, without judging or reacting to them. I become more and more conscious of when I’m distracted, and gently refocus my attention on the moment. By staying in the moment, I’m able to more fully utilize my power and direct it to create what I want.

Copyright 2010 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

A nationally known speaker, life coach, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart helps people rediscover their power and sense of self-worth. Visit Secrets To The Law Of Attraction to download your copy of this free ebook.

Perfectionism: Based On Fear

Perfectionism: Based On Fear

Perfectionism is an unattainable goal, causing people to be constantly dissatisfied. They have unreasonably high standards, that they try to achieve because of fear. And the more they try to be perfect, the worse it gets. In the video, there are a couple of questions they can ask they can ask when tempted to do things perfectly. Watch Perfectionism: Based on Fear.

Copyright 2010 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“Break the Self-Sabotaging Habit of Perfectionism”

“Break the Self-Sabotaging Habit of Perfectionism”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

I remember watching a television program where a modern working mother tried to keep her house as clean as her mother had. She spent her weekends nagging her husband and kids to wash and fold the laundry, dust, etc., while she scrubbed the refrigerator, kitchen, and house from top to bottom. The weekends were stressful times, and her family life suffered. Everyone was miserable as she put a clean house ahead of her relationship with them. She was unsuccessfully trying to live up to an unrealistic ideal of a perfect house.

Perfectionism is a waste of time and energy. When it becomes the focus of your life, it affects every part of it. Relationships suffer, as does your health. The stress and pressure you put on yourself can contribute to all sorts of health problems, such as high blood pressure, irritable bowel syndrome, arteriosclerosis and much more. Think of all the health problems associated with a Type-A personality and that is what you risk when you attempt to live up to idealistic expectations.

That stress isn’t coming from others, it’s coming from within you. It’s been said that stress isn’t so much from the events in your life, as it is from your reactions to them. Perfectionism means you’re trying to reach for an unattainable goal, and by doing so, you’re destined to be disappointed, unhappy, and dissatisfied.

Striving for perfection can distract you from what you truly want in life: abundance, harmony, health, relationships, and so on. By focusing so much on details you forget to look at the whole picture of what you want.

Here are some steps to help you break this self-sabotaging habit:

  1. Take one item of your life and don’t do it. Leave dishes in the sink for a few hours. Wait for a day to fold the sheets and towels. This is to help you to get more comfortable with letting some things go and attending to more important things, like relationships.
  2. Focus on what’s right in your life, rather than what’s wrong or needs to be fixed. Many people are trying to gain approval or control their environment by being perfect. This creates the internal tension that you feel as stress. Life is a process and imperfect, and by changing your focus, you’ll relieve some of your pressure.
  3. Finish a project, rather than trying to get it perfect. Many people avoid completion to avoid criticism. Get it done as quickly as you can. Do it with what you already have. Do it even if you don’t feel prepared to finish it. Successful people tend to jump into a project without having all the information or knowing where it’s going.
  4. Leave some clutter on your desk. Contrary to popular belief, some mess actually improves creativity. And people who make more money are less likely to consider themselves to be “neat freaks.”

Your coworkers and friends aren’t turning themselves into sleepless wonders to get things done. They let some things slide to have a higher quality of life. Which do you want more of in your life, stress and a constant search to make things perfect, or success, abundance, ease, health and harmony? The choice is up to you.

Affirmation

Being perfect is an unattainable ideal, and one that blocks my enjoyment of life. I now give myself permission to let some things slide. The only person who will notice is me, and I am being kind to myself. I ease up on life, and now choose success, happiness, harmony, and health.

Copyright 2010 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

A nationally known hypnotherapist, writer, speaker and coach, Linda-Ann Stewart helps people rediscover their power and sense of self-worth. Visit Secrets To The Law Of Attraction to download your copy of this free ebook.

Book Review – “The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence”

Book Review – “The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence”

Total Self-ConfidenceThe Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence
by Robert Anthony

I was introduced to this book over thirty years ago, when I heard the author speak. It’s a wonderful book that covers many basic tenets of how the conscious/subconscious/superconscious minds work.

One of the chapters is titled, “Dehypnotizing Yourself.” As a hypnotherapist, I tell people that my job isn’t so much to hypnotize them, as to de-hypnotize them of their outdated beliefs. Dr. Anthony explains that very clearly in this book.

Other areas he covers are letting go of the need to conform, self-acceptance, how to treat yourself gently, how to get over feeling guilty, loving yourself, and THEN he begins to address the deep stuff. He explains about the subconscious, how to program it, setting goals, meditation, affirmations, and much more.

If you’re ready to really begin to transform your life, and want great, easy to read guidebook, check this one out.