by Linda-Ann Stewart
Many years ago, I participated in an exercise at a workshop to show us how at ease we were with allowing good into our lives. As I imagined a little extra good flowing in, I was fine. But when I visualized a lot more good, I started to get anxious, even scared.
The exercise continued, expanding the amount of good I would let in. When I got past that first barrier, I was once again comfortable with the concept of letting more good into my life. It was an interesting exercise for me, showing, that for some reason, I was fearful of allowing more Universal good flow into me.
Why would anyone be afraid of more good? Imagine heaven smiling down upon you, living in grace, everything falling into place in your life. Why would that create anxiety? Isn’t that exactly what you want?
Since the time of the exercise, I’ve discovered that many people share the fear I experienced. It comes in various shapes and forms, and from multiple causes. And it’s one reason you unconsciously block your desires. Because of past experiences, you don’t know what catastrophe will happen if you actually achieve what you say you want in life.
Over the years, I’ve identified a few reasons for that concern:
Fear of a backlash. If you receive more good, you fear that somehow it will be taken away. It’s almost a superstition that one hand will give the good, and another hand will take it away. Sometimes, this comes from childhood. You might have received something you really wanted, but then had a cherished toy taken from you because your parent decided that you’d outgrown it.
Have to give it away. I’ve known several people who deliberately kept their income at a low level so they wouldn’t have to give their extra money to indigent relatives. They couldn’t say “No” to the relatives, and save the extra for a rainy day in their own life. From a young age, they were trained that they had to give all their extra toys and cherished possessions to their siblings or cousins. They were the “Cinderella” of the family, and haven’t realized that things can be different now.
Fear of punishment. Somehow, you fear that more good will bring some punishment upon you. Some force will come down and make you pay for having something great happen. You’re receiving more good than you deserve and should be flogged for it. The only thing that punishes you is your old programming. You deserve all the good you receive.
This is one of the issues I discovered I had. I once had a childhood friend who would put me down whenever I had something nice happen in my life. She once told me that she wanted to make sure I didn’t exaggerate my importance. So I stopped telling her of any positives that occurred.
To begin to overcome this irrational fear that more good is scary, examine what happened when you were a child. When you got some toy or reward that others didn’t get, how did you feel? What happened? Did you get beat up, was it taken away, were you emotionally abandoned, resented or attacked? Maybe you always had to share, and when you got the toy back, it was damaged or destroyed.
Whatever happened to you, it set up a pattern in your subconscious to expect this type of reaction every time you received something good in your life. And it probably continues to this day. To begin to combat that programming, remind yourself that you’re the grownup now, and you have the power to say “Yes” or “No” or “Take a hike.” And that you have the strength, ability, knowledge and resources to take care of your own inner self and worth.
I still practice the workshop exercise occasionally. It gives me feedback as to where I might be blocking myself, and to expand my acceptance of more good. When I feel the fear, I talk to it, letting it know that it doesn’t have to protect me anymore. You can do the same thing, and allow yourself to open your mind to receive more good every day.
Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
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