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Lessons from Resisting Change

Lessons from Resisting Change

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Resistance to change is a normal part of being human. It’s natural, even if what you’re resisting is the very thing you need to do for your progress, health and happiness. Most people don’t like their status quo disrupted or to be forced out of their comfort zone. But change is the order of the universe, and resisting it just brings frustration and suffering. The Universe is trying to move you forward, while you’re holding yourself back.

There’s a saying that, “What you resist, persists.” This means that the energy that you’re putting into resisting makes the undesired change become stronger. It’s like a tug-o-war. You’re putting all your attention into not being pulled from your spot, which means you aren’t thinking of alternatives. What if you let go of the rope, and started considering how to turn the situation to your advantage? This allows you to get into the flow of the Universe, rather than trying to block it.

Learn from Your Resistance

You resist whenever you procrastinate, use busy work to avoid doing something else, are confused, or refuse to commit to a decision. Generally, resistance is fear based. You’re afraid of the loss, unknown, discomfort, or difficulty that you think change will bring. But when you resist moving forward, you close down opportunities and possibilities. Also, the Law of Attraction can’t be creative and bring you your desires.

There are lessons to be learned from resistance. The way you resist shows how you sabotage yourself and hold yourself back. If you recognize how you do that, you can then address those issues. This allows you to make the transition easier from where you are to where you want to be. It opens the channels for Universal good to flow to you.

Ways You Resist

1. You’re rebelling. When you’re forced to do something you don’t really want to, even if it’s in your best interests, resistance becomes rebellion. You think that rebelling puts you in control, but the opposite is true. If you’re rebelling, you’re handing over control to the opposition.

For instance, many smokers use cigarettes as a way to rebel, and resist quitting for that reason. This is true even when they know smoking is hurting them. One way to turn that attitude around is to rebel against cigarettes, which will turn the negative habit of smoking into a healthy behavior. Using that idea, how could you use your rebellion for your benefit?

2. Most people dislike being told what they “should” do. Or they feel guilty when they don’t live according to what they think they “ought to” do. Generally, instead of being compliant, they avoid those injunctions, even if it’s what they want for themselves.

For instance, you know you “should” exercise for your health. You whip yourself for not doing so, but it’s easier to just sit on the couch. Or you know eating less sugar is better for you, but it’s much more satisfying to indulge. You may feel guilty about your behavior, but you still repeat the negative activity. Instead of “shoulding” on yourself, focus on the benefits you’d receive by taking the action you’ve been ignoring.

3. Denial can be a coping strategy when there’s been a significant loss. It gives you time to absorb and process what’s happened, prior to adjusting to the change. But if you use this strategy in your everyday life, it will sabotage you at every level. You resent what’s necessary, and pretend that it doesn’t matter. But when you ignore a necessary step or action, it blocks what you’re trying to accomplish.

For instance, if you want to lose weight, but reject that you need to eat less. No matter what you do, you’ll not be able to achieve your ideal weight. A business person who thinks they can keep all the details of dozens of orders their orders in their head will have a hard time meeting deadlines and being successful. Before you can move forward, you have to accept reality and what is necessary. Instead of being dismissive, shift your attitude to it being your choice to take your next steps. 

How do you normally resist moving forward? Learn this and it will give you important information so you know when life is pushing you to change and when you’re combating change. When you encounter resistance, dig into your motivation and focus on what you really want. When you shift your attention from resisting change to embracing the benefits it will bring, you’ll be able to adjust your course and make progress.

Affirmation:

The Universe wants the best for me. I’m willing to make whatever changes are necessary to open up to greater joy, health and abundance. I recognize when I’m resisting my good, and choose a better course. I’m Divinely guided to make the wisest decisions for my highest good.

Watch the complementary video, Meditation to Learn from Your Resistance to Change.

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Finding Your Course in Unstable Times

Finding Your Course in Unstable Times

by Linda-Ann Stewart

People are feeling knocked off balance by the Covid-19 situation, the shut-down, economic chaos, and everything else that has happened in the past few months. It’s hard to find direction, focus and to create a plan, when you don’t know what’s going to happen next. It’s like your foundation is gone and you’re walking on shifting sands. Unfortunately, I suspect this is probably going to be the situation for a while.

Upheavals Happen

We get used to life flowing on, smoothly, and think that’s the way it will always be. Often, changes happen only in one or two areas of life at a time. And, generally, there’s a warning and transition from one point to another. But then there are times when there’s a sudden upheaval that rocks every aspect of our lives. Losing a loved one, a natural disaster or man-made catastrophe can alter our entire internal and external landscape. And that’s what we’re dealing with now.

The Universe often uses these situations to knock us out of our comfort zone. We’ve stayed too long on one level of consciousness, or held onto people and conditions that we’ve outgrown. The more we fight moving on, the harder the transition will be for us. The flow of the Universe will shove us until we have to let go and allow it to take us to a greater life.

There are those who are still resisting the reality. As a result, they’ll have a harder time adjusting. Instead of trying to live as if everything will go back to what they’re used to, they could use that energy to plan for a new future. For the rest of us, the idea that we’re living in a new reality has sunk in. But we’re still struggling to adjust to and handle our sudden change of circumstances.

How to Get on Track

There are some strategies you can do that will help you get back on course.

Develop a new vision and plan. What worked a few months ago won’t work now, personally or professionally. We had similar issues after 9/11 and the 2008 recession. Those upheavals changed much of how we did things. This time, instead of face-to-face contact, we’re connecting virtually. In person meetings will return, but not at the level they were before. Virtual meetings for personal and professional interactions are here to stay. How can you incorporate this technology, and other changes, into your strategies?

Be flexible. Your goals may have to be adjusted on the fly. If you try to be too strict with how you achieve goals, you could find yourself missing your target. Conditions may change quickly, and you’ll have to roll with them. Create a plan B and C, just in case you have to alter course in an instant.  What kind of contingency plans can you develop to deal with your circumstances?

Learn to live with uncertainty. It’s hard to get comfortable with this idea, because we want to be in control. It’s normal to want stability and security.  But for a while, the conditions we’ve always depended on are going to be fluctuating. Letting go of the need for control will give you more freedom and ability to adapt. How can you open your mind to today’s available possibilities and opportunities?

Difficult times come and go, but with flexibility, you will survive. Although expansion may be on hold for now, this is when you need position yourself for future growth. As the months progress, you’re going to be acquiring new skills, abilities, and resources. They will serve you well in the future.

Affirmation:

Life is constantly changing. I now align myself with the flow of the Universe and accept that change is happening. I adjust to the shift that’s taking place, and find ways to thrive through it. Something wonderful for me emerges from this situation.

Watch the complementary video Finding Focus in Unsettled Times.

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Book Review-Activate Your Brain

Book Review-Activate Your Brain

Activate Your Brain by Scott G. Halford

You already have the best tool within you to achieve your goals. It’s your brain. It’s wired to help you succeed, but you have to know how to use it. When you learn how to activate it properly, not only will you be more successful, but you’ll feel less stressed and more in control.

By understanding the neurochemistry of your brain, you’ll discover how to motivate yourself and stay focused. This book is fill with exercises to lead you step-by-step to get started on a new pathway to getting the life you want. In addition, you’ll learn how to adjust your moods and become more positive.

This book is a delightful, easy to read manual to help you take small, steady steps to change your behavior and improve your results. The author’s mantra throughout the book is “start small, start now.” All those tiny steps will propel you to wonderful shifts in your life. Although the book is directed towards businesspeople, it can help anyone who wants to maximize their potential.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Meditation to Learn from Your Resistance to Change

Meditation to Learn from Your Resistance to Change

Resistance to moving forward is part of the human condition. Any goal worth having is going to stir up a reluctance to change. But resistance can teach you a lot, about why you’re reluctant and what you need to do to take action. Use the questions in this meditation to uncover what’s behind your resistance and what you can do to overcome it.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. Are you resisting taking an action or decision that you know would allow you to reach your goal? If so, welcome to the human race. Whenever you want to make a significant change in your life, you’re going to meet with some inner resistance to moving forward, right? Sometimes, there’s a good reason for the resistance, like you don’t have everything you need yet. Other times, it’s just a fear of change or fear of failure.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision strategist, and I’ve worked with hundreds of clients over the years to overcome their resistance to achieving their goals. Resistance has a lot to teach you, but you have to be willing to listen to what it’s trying to tell you. Asking the right questions is a way to discover what’s holding you back and how you can move forward.

So I’d like to lead you through a very short meditation to help you ask some of those questions and gain answers to help you.

If you’re okay doing so, close your eyes. If not, just get comfortable.

Imagine some area where you’re resisting change. It could be personal, like changing a habit or dealing with an ongoing issue, or it could be professional, like opening up to a new opportunity. Just choose one place where you’re resisting. Examine the issue and how you feel about it.

Now, we’re going to ask some questions. Don’t worry if you don’t get any immediate answers. Those answers may come in a few minutes or hours, when you’re doing something else entirely. Right now, it’s just important to ask the questions, and listen.

What exactly are you resisting?

Why are you resisting moving forward? Is it fear, or some other emotion? Do you need some other piece to be in place? Why are you resisting moving forward?

What would happen if you didn’t resist? If you just let go and moved forward? How would that affect your life?

What are you trying to preserve/hang onto by resisting? Is it worth it?

What are you giving up by deciding to move forward? Is it something you still want, or have you outgrown it?

What might you receive from moving forward? Is it better than what you have now?

How can you make this change less threatening? How can you let go of your resistance and make it easier to move forward?

The answers to these questions may not come right away. The answers may surface over the hours to come. Just keep your mind open to recognize the answers, and know that you can choose to act on them or not. Open your eyes.

Like I said, it doesn’t matter if you got any answers right away. The important thing is to ask and be open to the information. Your subconscious will deliver what you can accept and work with, maybe today, tonight, or tomorrow. You can take what your subconscious tells you and make decisions that are best for you.

If you’d to achieve a 90-day goal more easily, download my free comprehensive Strategic Vision blueprint at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You’ll receive the blueprint, as well as a video of that walks you through it with tips and directions to support you in you in accomplishing your goal.

Thank you for watching. I hope that the answers you get are valuable and help you resolve any resistance you might be encountering with your goal. Take care.

Read the accompanying article, Lessons from Resisting Change.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” –  Thomas S. Szasz, Professor of Psychiatry

Forgiving and then forgetting means that you don’t learn from the situation. You have no memory to warn you if the same situation is happening again. To best honor yourself, you can forgive the person, but remember their offense. This way, if you begin to notice a pattern, you can then decide what you need to do from a stronger position.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

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The Neuroscience of Savoring Positive Emotions

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~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you welcome an offender back into your life. That may be the worst thing you could do for yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t absolve a person of the responsibility of what they’ve done and they might not have changed. Forgiving simply means you’re letting go of your anger against the person. When you can truly wish them the best, then you know you’ve forgiven them.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Podcast Interview-Breakthrough & Thrive Summit

Podcast Interview-Breakthrough & Thrive Summit

Last month, I was interviewed for Jamie Lynn Warber’s  Breakthrough & Thrive – Awaken Your Voice Summit. The summit empowered sexual abuse and trauma survivors to take charge of their power, healing and happiness. Jamie and I were connected through another podcast host and I jumped at the chance to reach these women with my message.

As a hypnotherapist and coach for 30 years, I’ve helped many sexual abuse survivors achieve their goals. Whether to heal from the trauma, break habits or improve their life, I discovered that they needed to improve their self-esteem to be successful. They had to come to realize that they deserved success before they could achieve it.

These women and this subject are very dear to my heart, as it is to Jamie Lynn’s, who is a sexual abuse survivor. She shared some of her story, which was touching and brave of her.  She’s incredibly heart-centered. In our discussion, we explored why self-esteem is necessary to be successful.  I also gave several strategies and exercises that listeners can use to raise their self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

It was a delightful discussion. I enjoyed talking with her so much. Even after the interview, we continued chatting for almost an hour, sharing our philosophies, perspectives and experiences. I remain in touch with her, and hope to be on future summits of hers. For now, I keep in touch with her Facebook page, Arise Empowered, LLC. If you’re a sexual abuse and/or trauma survivor, I recommend you check it out.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“I know that forgiveness releases me from the past. I forgive myself for past mistakes and forgive those who have done me harm. When I can’t forgive someone, I give the situation to God and let God forgive them through me.”

Forgiveness cuts you from hanging onto the past, freeing you for a brighter future. Forgiving yourself and others is a healing balm, but sometimes you simply can’t find the ability to forgive. The offense might have been too great, or you’re still too angry. In that case, let God work through you. God can see the true essence of the other person and has already forgiven their faults. This makes it easier for you to detach from the situation, which makes it easier to free yourself.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

People mistakenly think that to forgive a person, they have to excuse the event, too. Nothing could be further from the truth. The individual acted in a particular way that hurt you, and that is their responsibility. In your mind, separate the person from their mistake. Because their action isn’t what you’re forgiving. You’re letting go of your anger, resentment and grudge against the person. And you’re not doing it for them. You’re doing it so it doesn’t continue to poison you. 

~ Linda-Ann Stewart