Browsed by
Tag: personal development

Change Your Labels And Change Your Life, Part 1

Change Your Labels And Change Your Life, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Labeling things in your life allows you to distinguish between them. You can tell an apple from an orange, Joe from Mary, a tree from a flower. You categorize the details of your life to put them into perspective. When you want a blue car, you don’t choose a yellow bike.

It’s especially helpful for being able to identify what you might be feeling. Emotions are signals that let you know if you’re on the right track, or if something is wrong. An abused spouse feels confused between what she perceives in her relationship and what her partner tells her is happening. This is a red flag she needs to heed.

Being able to identify anger or sadness allows you to deal with its cause. It might be that someone violated your boundaries, you might have lost someone close to you, or it’s time to leave that job before you explode and get fired. Being able to categorize what you’re feeling is valuable and appropriate, and allows you to seek ways to take care of your well being.

However, there’s a darker side to this. If you begin to label yourself, especially in a negative way, you put yourself in a box and make yourself smaller. Everything outside of that box is then out of your reach. For instance, someone who procrastinates would view themselves through that filter and would live according to all that label implies.

They won’t be able to get things done in a timely fashion, because that would conflict with what they believe about themselves. They might pass up opportunities, because they’re not confident they’ll get things done on time. Or they might fail to get a project done by the deadline, and lose out on a promotion.

Labeling yourself means that you’ve carved out a certain way of acting and responding. It may have started out to help you handle a difficult situation. But those reactions may not serve you now, but you find yourself still using them. The subconscious will use your label to restrict your actions and make sure that you don’t do anything that would contradict it.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Identify With Your Good

Identify With Your Good

by Linda-Ann Stewart

I once heard someone say, “If you’re not successful, then you’re really working hard at not being successful.” Success, health, happiness, harmonious relationships, creativity are natural states. The Universe always pours all that you need for good into your life.

If you’re not experiencing what you desire, your mind is actively restricting it. The way you feel towards your life, the beliefs based on those feelings, flow forth in statements that limit the expression of your natural resource of good.

“I am a failure,” “I’m sick,” “I can’t do it,” “I don’t belong here.” These are feelings that you have based on past experiences. However, when you identify with these statements, you’re telling the Universe that this is what you continue to want. Whatever you identify with becomes your self-image. Your experience of life has to be consistent with your image of yourself.

A person who wants to be a success, but feels that they can’t do anything right, will sabotage achieving their desires. When you want something better in your life, and it conflicts with your self-image, you undermine your ability to have it.

Whatever you focus on, that’s what you’re telling your Mind that you want. Watch your words. You are literally instructing the Universe what to give you. The silent messages you say to yourself about yourself, the things you say to others, these reinforce the outdated picture you have of yourself.

As a child, you may have been told that you wouldn’t amount to anything. That was a lie. You are an expression of the Universe, and the Universe has all the power within It to create galaxies. The lie was to keep you from remembering that you have the power within you.

One of my clients was a beautiful woman, inside and out. When she was young, her mother convinced her that she was ugly and no one would ever love her. My client changed her self-image when she realized the untruth of that statement, and she began to attract people who valued and appreciated her.

Many times people will fight to hold onto their old self-concept, even when they want something better. Jerry was an artist whose sculptures were critically acclaimed. However, he wasn’t making much money from them, and wanted to be more prosperous. He identified with being a “starving artist,” and was disdainful of those artists who were financially successful.

Because he refused to release his anger at other creatives, and continued to visualize himself as poor, he never realized the wealth that the Universe was urging on him. You can’t have more good without opening the floodgates within, and discharging self-limitations.

What are you identifying with? How do you see yourself? Do you believe that you’re a person who deserves good? What ideas are you acting on that counter what you desire? Notice the “I am” statements you make. They will show you what your self-image is. You can change those declarations by simply stating the opposite every time you catch yourself thinking something negative.

Eventually, the feelings behind the old ideas will transform, because you’re telling them the truth about yourself. Imagine that you have achieved what you want. Now imagine how you’d act, what you’d say to yourself, how you’d dress, what kind of people you’d associate with. What else would be changed in your life?

By aligning your words and ideas with that of a successful person, you can then begin to identify with the good the Universe has been pouring into your life. The floodgates will open, and your life will be overflowing with the goodness that is your natural state.

Copyright 2000, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Book Review – Bradshaw On: The Family

Book Review – Bradshaw On: The Family

Bradshaw On: The Family:  A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem
by John Bradshaw

The author states that emotions are “energy in motion,” and valuable to us. This is only one of the many eye-opening concepts in this book.

Mainly, this book is written for people who have experienced dysfunctional homes, such as alcoholism or any sort of abuse in their childhood. Its information helps to identify and understand how the dysfunction affected them as children, and how it continues into adulthood.

Understanding is the first step to being able to move beyond the self-punitive and self-destructive habits that they may have as adults. But it’s also helpful for those who grew up in so-called “functional” homes, since in most homes there’s some sort of dysfunction.

The author writes a lot about rules, roles and how they affect an individual. He also addresses the family “trance,” saying that we accept ideas in that state and continue to operate with those concepts until the trance is broken.

This book was based on John Bradshaw’s television series of the same name. The series was more impromptu and as the author says, “lacked detail.” This book guides the reader into a better understanding of what they’re doing and why, and why their life may not be working.

Book Review – “How To Raise Your Self-Esteem”

Book Review – “How To Raise Your Self-Esteem”

How To Raise Your Self-Esteem: The Proven Action-Oriented
Approach to Greater Self-Respect and Self-Confidence
by Nathaniel Branden

This is a great book, not just for self-esteem, but also to raise self-awareness. This book is filled with strategies and exercises to help the reader not only improve their self-esteem, but increase confidence, self-acceptance, self-respect and authenticity.

The author describes self-esteem as “a feeling of personal competence and a feeling of personal worth…a sum of self-confidence and self-respect.” All of these go into a feeling of value. A person must feel “enough” to feel good about themselves and what they do. And a person with high self-esteem treats others with value and respect.

The author states that living consciously, in the sense of being aware of what they’re thinking and doing, is necessary to high self-esteem. Living consciously means a person learns to listen to themselves and to trust their impressions and decisions.

Other chapters address feelings of guilt, integrating the younger self, living authentically, selfishness, nurturing the self-esteem of others and more. The exercises are easy to do, mainly completing sentences, and the answers can be very illuminating. For any person troubled with feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, I’d recommend this book highly.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Stop Multitasking To Reduce Stress, Part 2

Stop Multitasking To Reduce Stress, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

However, when you’re able to focus on one thing at a time, it allows access to more mental and emotional resources. For example, driving the car without talking on the phone or texting is safer and less stressful than dealing with those distractions. Working on a project without interruptions means you’re able to bring all of your creativity to it.

Being fully engaged in a conversation means you’ll hear what the other person is saying and be able to respond appropriately. If you have to reply to an upsetting email, having the time and space to rationally choose what to say is better than reflexively shooting out a nasty response.

When you learn to be more mindful and more present in your life, you’re able to engage much more of the brain’s creativity, abilities, perspective, problem solving, and flexibility. You open up channels to the Universe and allow more of Its guidance and wisdom into your life.

Take some time to turn off all the technology in your life and shut out the distractions. Focus the light of your attention on one task. Immerse yourself in it.

If it’s washing the dishes, don’t watch TV at the same time or focus on hating the chore. Just do it without giving it much emotional energy or distraction. Consider it time for your mind to recharge without having to think ahead. Just be. The same technique can be used for a project at work, or a task at home.

Instead of tying up so much of your resources in your day-to-day scramble, learn to be more focused and mindful. This allows you to release more of the talents and creativity that are innate within you.

Affirmation

I commit myself to be in the present. The past is over, the future is yet to be. When I have a task, I focus on it and it alone. This gives me more mental, emotional and spiritual resources. It allows me to hear Divine Guidance more clearly and use it to make better choices. So I choose to shut out distractions and be right here, right now.

Read part 1 of Stop Multitasking to Reduce Stress.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Stop Multitasking To Reduce Stress, Part 1

Stop Multitasking To Reduce Stress, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Most people are overwhelmed by the amount of distractions in their lives. When you’re trying to work, you’re interrupted by phone calls, texts, or a problem suddenly needing an immediate solution or decision. All of this diverts your attention and keeps you from focusing on one thing at a time.

You’re trying to multi-task to be more efficient and you’re accomplishing exactly the opposite. Your attention is split between all of the distractions, and nothing gets your best effort. So everything suffers from a lack of your full capabilities.

Unfortunately, your fast-paced lifestyle promotes stress and anxiety. This engages the Fight or Flight mechanism that causes you to be in survival mode. Everything that happens is then considered to be a threat. You can’t keep things in their proper perspective.

For instance, let’s say you’re expecting a busy day at work. In the morning, you take the trash bag out of the trashcan and the bag breaks. Now you have to clean it up before you can leave. On the freeway, you’re caught in an unexpected traffic jam and get to work late.

You’d planned to have plenty of time to print out a report for a meeting. But because of the morning’s delays, you’re hurrying to get it done. The printer jams and you’re ready to throw it through the window. Due to the accumulated frustrations, an insignificant problem (the printer) has been blown up out of proportion. It takes on monumental importance, when it actually may simply take a couple of minutes to fix.

When your mental reserves are completely used up and you’re in survival mode, stress monopolizes resources in the brain. It’s like a huge program that consumes all the available memory in a computer. There’s nothing left over to make rational decisions.

Being stressed and in overwhelm means that you can’t think straight, be creative, resourceful, or plan effectively. You’re reacting from your past experience and conditioning and can’t choose a different response.

Read part 2 of Stop Multitasking to Reduce Stress.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

The Principle of Appreciation, Part 2

The Principle of Appreciation, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

If criticism diminishes life-force, then why doesn’t it work when you criticize something you don’t want in your life? For example, if you condemn the fact that you have so little money, why don’t you get to experience the opposite, more money?

Because you’re contracting the very energy of money. You’re decreasing the value of that which you want. Where your emotional attention goes, energy flows. So you’re creating more of the same lack by focusing on and condemning that area. You’re making your lack grow.

To create more of what you want, appreciate what you have. Even if you only have a penny, praise that penny. I get excited when I find pennies on the ground, in parking lots, on the floor of a store. When I turn the attitude around, and think, “So what, it’s only a cent,” I discover that they don’t appear for me. My overall prosperity also suffers.

Because of my appreciation of the smallest of coins, I’ve found not only pennies, but nickels, dimes, quarters, and one, five and twenty dollar bills.

The principle is the same no matter what you desire in your life. For relationships, give thanks for your relationship with yourself. If you want better health, find something that’s good about your body, like your immune system.

To find a better job, give thanks for something beneficial in your present job. Find something that you value in your situation. By discovering something of worth, you allow it to appreciate.

Because Cricket took the time to improve her self-image, she gained the confidence to become a marketing director. No matter how miniscule the thing is that you praise, keep your attention on it.

Don’t waste your valuable energy on being critical of that area. Condemning it will only bring you more of what you don’t want. By appreciating what you have now, you allow it to expand and blossom into what you really want in your life.

Copyright 2000, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Are the personal growth methods teaching different things?

Are the personal growth methods teaching different things?

Question: With all the self-development and personal growth methods available, are they all teaching something different?

Answer: Whether it’s yoga, est, reiki, hypnotherapy, EFT, affirmations or whatever, all spiritual development techniques have a similar goal in mind. That goal is to help you open yourself up to a greater flow of Spirit.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a physical, mental or emotional method, it’s designed to change your conception of yourself, your body or your world. That change helps to release resistance to allowing more of Universal good into your life.

They may go about it differently, and state it differently, but when you change your perspective, and have an intention to spiritually evolve, the result is more joy, peace and harmony.

Copyright 2003, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Reclaim Your Power From Anger, Part 2

Reclaim Your Power From Anger, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

It’s time to reclaim the power you’ve given away. Don’t let a past situation govern your life or choices any longer. You can’t control others or what they do.They have their own opinions and perceptions that may not agree with yours. And you don’t want the thought of them to continue to affect you and your emotions.

Realize that anyone who upset you probably didn’t target you personally. They may not have hurt you deliberately. Even if they attacked you, they might have just randomly picked you as a the target of their hostility. Maybe you accidentally triggered a sensitive area for them. Who knows?

When you get angry, mentally step back and reassess. You can then make rational choices instead of reactionary ones. You can decide what’s best for you in the long run. Lashing out and making snide remarks won’t resolve the situation and will probably make it worse. When you’re able to stay cool, you’re in control of yourself and the situation. You can stand up for yourself, and for your rights, calmly.

Decide what you need to learn from the circumstance. Should you trust them less, not let them so close, or were you expecting them to be different from who they are? Whatever the lesson, as long as you remember it, you can fulfill the purpose of why you got upset. Establish boundaries and decide how much contact you want with this person.

Hallie was a very unhappy woman. Only when you’re willing to let go of your anger do you have the space to allow happiness in. Peace of mind, empowerment, health and harmony reward you when you learn the lesson from anger and resolve it. Your mind is then able to expand to a greater level of its potential.

Affirmation:

I recognize that anger is counterproductive if I hold onto it. It also hands my power over to those I’m angry at. When I reclaim my power, I seek rational methods to deal with the situation. As I do, I access more of my potential. It also allows me to channel my energy to the successful fulfillment of my goals.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved