Browsed by
Tag: optimism

The 1% Mindset Boost

The 1% Mindset Boost

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Think Positive

Researchers say that between 65% and 80% of what we think is negative or counterproductive. This shouldn’t be surprising, considering all the negative messages we received as children, the unsettling information we get about the state of the world, and the difficulties we have in our fast paced culture.

The subconscious acts on the average of our thoughts. Depending on how much of our thoughts are positive or negative, our lives flow smoothly or we struggle. We feel empowered to make changes or feel helpless. Energy is available for us to be productive or spin our wheels. With the amount of negativity the researchers say we experience, it’s amazing that we’re able to progress at all.

If we could increase the amount of positive thoughts by even 1%, we’d be able to improve our lives. It doesn’t sound like much, but it would be a start and we could then build on that foundation. Here are some ways you can create that 1%.

Economy and politics. Stop listening to the news so much. You can’t do much about it anyway, so why let it pollute your thought field? By taking a more philosophical and objective view of the situation, you can stop it from destroying your peace of mind. One way to do this is to assert that somehow everything is working for the good of the nation and the world. You can do this no matter what your political opinion or stance. It’s not easy, because you’ve probably been emotionally invested with things working out in a particular way. But this is a great practice to detach from needing a specific outcome.

Work and career. You probably can’t just walk out of a difficult work environment right now. But you can change your attitude so you’re not so miserable. It may take some doing, but it can be done. For instance, if your boss is a micromanager, realize it doesn’t reflect on your capabilities. It’s just that your boss has a hard time letting go of control. Stop focusing on what you hate about your job. You know what you dislike, so you don’t have to keep reminding yourself. It doesn’t change it and makes you feel helpless and a victim. So stop hammering your thumb with it. Find one thing a day that you appreciate about your work.

Relationships. Eliminate or minimize your contact with negative people. You can’t change them. When they start to drag you down, excuse yourself and leave the area. Just because you can’t abolish them from your life completely doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to their pessimism. We train people how to treat us. By refusing to let them dump their negativity on you, they just might learn your boundaries. If they value you, they’ll reduce the amount of gloom they spread to increase the time they spend with you. And if they choose to wallow in their unhappiness, at least you’ll be taking care of your mental health.

It’s all about shifting perception and focus. Look for and find ways to improve your mental attitude by just 1%. It will mean that you have that much more energy for your subconscious to use to solve problems and create a more harmonious life for you.

Affirmation:
I now consciously choose to shift my attention from the negative and consider more positive and empowering perspectives. When I notice myself thinking in a counterproductive way, I take charge of my thoughts and channel them into more constructive avenues. I set boundaries and take care of my mental health. Each day, I find things to be grateful for. As I increase the amount of positive and productive thoughts, I notice how my life flows more smoothly and harmoniously.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

The Three Blessings Exercise by Martin Seligman

The Three Blessings Exercise by Martin Seligman

Martin Seligman, Ph.D. is the founder of the positive psychology movement, and author of Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life and Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. These are books I recommend highly.

In this video, he describes an exercise where you examine what has gone right in your life that day, rather than dwelling on what has gone wrong. Many studies show that focusing on what you have to be grateful for increases your overall mood and well being. It trains the subconscious to scan for things to be grateful for and creates a sense of optimism.


In the exercise, you think of constructive things that have happened, and what caused them to occur. This allows you to focus on what’s positive. And energy flows where attention goes. So this is an easy technique to begin boosting your positive thoughts.

“Remove Mind Tattoos” from wikihow

“Remove Mind Tattoos” from wikihow

from wikiHow – The How to Manual That You Can Edit

“Mind tattoos” are mental imprints. Though not physically visible, these manifest themselves in your actions, reactions, and thought processes, and more often than not, they are a negative imprint. If body tattoos are exhibits, might we not view mind tattoos as inhibits?

Unable to be concealed no matter how hard you try to cover them up with excuses, distractions, or addictions, mind tattoos harm you through their persistence and habitual nature. However, with small effort and much resolve, it is possible to shed your mind tattoos. On paper the recipe is very simple, and certainly it will be harder to actually implement, but once you’re resolved to deal with your mind tattoos, and once you dedicate yourself to this task, your life will take a turn for the better.

Steps

  1. Use the simple displacement method. Mind tattoos and negative mindsets grow in a vacuum. Do not allow such a vacuum to be created in your mind. Increase your curiosity for things around you and beyond, allow yourself the privilege to be wonder-struck. Let the newness of every moment tickle your senses. Question yourself, keep asking what, why, when, where and how. A questioning mind is an open mind. It is not a knowing mind (the knowing mind soon leads to arrogance and shutting down on newness). Only an open mind can be creative. A knowing mind can never be creative.
    • When you open your mind, it can be filled with creativity, positivity and newness. Negative mindsets and tattoos will be displaced and deleted.
    • A questioning stance sensitizes the mind in a very special way, enabling it to sense what would have been missed otherwise.
  2. Come out of the mindset of blame games. The most damaging tattoo is the tendency to look for and find a scapegoat for every situation. Release yourself from the tendency of being problem averse and for shifting away responsibility. Stop wringing up your hands whenever there is a problem; while it is good to hope for a life without problems, realistically it is possible only when you work to make your problems surmountable, by cultivating a problem-friendly attitude. This means just rolling up your sleeves whenever you’re faced with a problem, and searching for an opportunity to improve the quality of your life by dealing with the problem. Being faced with a problem is never a problem. It is way of life and once you have woven problem-solving into the matrix of your life, you will feel stronger, more capable, and freer of the negative mind tattoos.
  3. Open your mind to ideas from friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. A tattooed mind is beset with preconceived ideas and closed to suggestion from outside. Open up your thinking to the ideas, opinions, and viewpoints gathered from your friends, colleagues, and even from strangers. Once you realize the value of these alternative ideas and views, you will be in a position to start using your increased understanding and empathy to improve the quality of your own thought and decision processes.
  4. Set achievable goals, and achieve set goals. A major reason for negative thought process is failure on personal or professional front; not just failure though – it is the failure to learn and grow from failure, to accept it as part of life’s lessons. The negative thinking can set in when personal or professional goals are not properly set. An improper understanding of your strengths or constraints often results in goals being not properly set and many excuses being made to sidestep developing a purpose to your life. In letting others make the decisions and change the rules on you, you drift rather than achieve through life. Instead, know yourself, understand yourself, and be yourself when setting your goals. This way you can be successful in setting and achieving your goal and keep failure out of your door. Moreover, do not be dissuaded by the failures but see them as detours that teach what to do better next time.
  5. Come out of the habit of perennial dissatisfaction. Perennial dissatisfaction is a major indication of a person with a negative mindset; a positive thinker can spot such a person a mile away and will do their best to steer clear (hence, you attract more negativity than its opposite). It is good to be acutely aware of your dissatisfaction and unfulfilled desires. However, this awareness should not frustrate you or cause you to give up citing everything as being “too hard” or “all over”. Even if you are frustrated, it should never be reflected in your behavior toward other people. As a matter of fact, you should use this awareness as a stimulus to realize your dreams, and to be grateful for that which you have achieved already. See How to Stop Feeling Like Your Life Isn’t Good Enough.
  6. Don’t overestimate the effects of your level (or lack) of schooling. A feeling of being uneducated or inadequately educated is one of the biggest self-destructing tattoo one can carry around. But higher level schooling can also imprint more negative tattoos: arrogance, self-righteous behavior, and greater dissatisfaction with one’s lot in life or sensitivity to past failures. Whatever category you fall into, understand that schooling is different from education. Education is sourced from life itself, the people you meet, the things you discover, and the environment in which you move and observe daily. Very often people with less or no schooling are found to be highly educated in matters of life and other way round. Less schooled people are often highly successful because they have minds clear of the biases that schooling can build into us. The more highly schooled who have simply associated their learning with being of a “higher status” might actually lack openness to new ideas and empathy for others, so they wind up less likely to succeed. Both would do better to
    • realize that universities and degrees do not determine your level of your education and do not even determine a person’s all-round intelligence or suitability for the rest of life.
    • Instead, figure out what you still need to learn and find the fastest way to learn it.
  7. Reframe your situation from different angles. A situation often appears to be hopeless and irretrievable. In many cases, such catastrophizing does not ultimately turn out to be true, especially where it is based on allowing ourselves to be the victim and to imagine things that are not there. Try to reframe the situation from different angles till you find an angle from where it looks acceptable. For example, in a cricket match in a close run-out decision, sometimes it appears that the batsman is out; however, reframing it from different angles gives the umpire more options of viewing the truth and taking correct decision. Similarly, being your own inner umpire (referee) by mental reframing of the situation often helps you to make the correct decision.
  8. Tattoo your mind with conscious, positive thoughts. What we tattoo on any part of the body for others to see is not as important as what we tattoo in our minds. Much of what is tattooed there has been absorbed from the criticisms, expectations, and limitations placed upon us by other people; they are not wanted or chosen tattoos but they are embedded out of obligation, loyalty, misplaced trust, and over-eagerness to please the other. On the other hand, positive, successful, energetic mind tattoos are a must to attain success and are tattoos that we can choose to implant and thrive from. So, it should be your conscious (and ultimately subconscious) endeavor to keep tattooing your mind with thoughts that are only about winning or thriving. Implant and nourish the tattoos that reflect who you want to be, the goals you want to reach, and the successes you seek to achieve. Mentally, make or choose your day’s outcomes for the day every single day.
    • Focus doesn’t simply sprout unaided. It requires effort and conscious attention. However, once you are focused, you can achieve a great deal of your heart’s desire because you’re consciously attending to what needs to be done, as well as channeling your subconscious experience more effectively.

Tips

  • Be very careful when implementing the process of removing your negative tattoos. It is necessary to restrain your feelings and impulses.
  • While you are going through this reform process, people around you could be the biggest inhibiting factors for you. Please be patient with them and be determined in your objective. Sometimes the fears and insecurities of others mean that they want us to stay where we are and not change or improve but you cannot bear their burdens for them, you can only choose to be a better person for yourself.
  • Take the advice and guidance of peers and elders. While you do not have to heed all that is said, other people’s experiences are important sources of information and guidance to set you on the better path through avoiding the pitfalls that they experienced. Remember that reinventing the wheel is a waste of your time when you stand in front of many generations’ of experience.
  • Thriving is better than winning at someone else’s expense. In the long run it helps you sleep better at night and gives you more future resources. If you step on people during the climb, they’ll kick you hard on the way down and remember exactly who you are.

Warnings

  • Give yourself time. Expecting too much too early can result in disappointment and frustration.
  • Your mental tattoos are well entrenched and may resist evacuation initially. You need to be persistent and confident. You can, and you will, release your mind from them.
  • Filter the advice that comes in from other people with trial and error. Try it honestly but when the trial fails, look at why. They can be right for themselves and wrong for you. Sedentary people can get sick from lack of exercise but a disabled person can get sick from exercise. If those other people have the same mind tattoos, they can often just reinforce them – it didn’t just crop up on its own. Don’t let them just hand the same biases back to you with a new set of intellectual rationalizations. Your mind tattoos came from somewhere so consider the source and weigh ideas for themselves.
  • If your friends and enemies both agree on something about you, it’s probably true or something about you makes people see you that way.

Things You’ll Need

  • A strong resolve
  • Self realization
  • A will to change
  • Dedication
  • Sacrifice

Related wikiHows

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Remove Mind Tattoos. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

When One Door Closes, Another One Opens

When One Door Closes, Another One Opens

Twice last week, situations confirmed the old adage, “When one door closes, another one opens.” I experienced this, and a friend did, as well.

I was completing a project, and getting ready to send it to an inexpensive online copy place I’d chosen after a lot of searching. But before I placed my order, I realized I had several questions. After filling out their contact form with the questions, I waited. And waited.

A week later, I called and got an answering machine. Since my questions were too involved to leave as a message, I hung up. Disappointed, I realized that if that was what their customer service was like, I didn’t want to use their service. So back to the search engine.

Almost immediately, I found another company who was even less expensive than the first one. When I emailed my questions, I got a rapid response, even though it was after hours. So I’m going with them.

My friend had a similar experience. Ten days before a party she was organizing, the venue she’d selected notified her they were going to be closed on that day. After a day of frantically trying to find another location, she found one. It was slightly more expensive, but much nicer and with a better catering menu. And the people she dealt with were much more courteous and helpful.

When you have a door close in your face, it’s hard to remember that it might be for the best. You’ll never know what would have happened if your original plans had gone through. It could have been fine, or it could have been disastrous.

But when it slams, and you have to go looking for a new door, keep in mind that the one you find just might be better in ways you can’t even imagine.

“How to Stay Positive when You Know Your Life Sucks” from wikiHow

“How to Stay Positive when You Know Your Life Sucks” from wikiHow

How to Stay Positive when You Know Your Life Sucks
from wikiHow – The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Thinking negative? Here are some strategies for how to start thinking positively and accomplish what you want in life.

Steps

  1. Ground Yourself. The most common reason why people think their lives suck is that they aren’t living their own lives. Look deeply into whether you are acting to please others – to please family, friends, and society. Realize that you need to get to know who you are and what your needs are, and make the choices to follow your own path. To know these things, a path of meditation and inner exploration is invaluable.
  2. Look on the inside. What are some qualities you have that you like about yourself? Are you funny? Are you intelligent? Are you sincere? Are you generous? What do you have pride in? Try focusing on the positive things in your life. You may be having a positive influence on others even when you think you’re useless.
  3. Prove those negative thoughts wrong. When you find yourself in a bad mood, you could think of the negative things such as, “I’m dumb and annoying”, “I’m better off dead”, “I’m ugly, I wish I looked different”, etc. Even though it’s not true. Change your mind. Look for your good features, think about the ones that you know love you, look on your greater side. Realize that nobody’s life is easy and that there will always be ups and downs, and moments of low self esteem. Don’t automatically assume that nobody cares. Every person matters to someone. You’re alive for a reason.
  4. Appreciate what you see. Look in the mirror. Find some beautiful things about yourself…. Do you have nice skin? nice nails? beautiful eyes? full lips? Find stuff that appeals to you. When you can’t change something, change your attitude towards it!
  5. It’s all how you look at it. Jealous of the people with ‘amazing’ lives? They chose to be that way! Remember, there are people living in mansions who are miserable and people living on the street who are perfectly happy. It’s all on how you look at it.
  6. Determine how your life could be better. What can you do to make your life better? What do you desire to do? How do you want to feel? Make a few reachable goals and your own strategies. The first step is usually the hardest – getting help or admitting you need it.
  7. Get motivated. What motivates you? What gives you energy to go on everyday? Music? Love? Family? A 1km run? God/Allah? Your attitude? Your pet? Friends? School? Give yourself a boost by focusing on what is important to you personally.
  8. Remember that some things can pass with time. There will be a tomorrow. There will be a next week. There will be a next month and perhaps by then, things will have changed for the better.
  9. Reminisce. Whenever you feel like the future is ‘hopeless’, think about happy memories. It will help make you feel better and remind you that in the future, there will be good things, too. Think about all the good things you’ve experienced, felt, and achieved, and consider how many more good things could be waiting ahead. There will be many great moments in your life – don’t let a few obstacles get in the way.
  10. Don’t stop yourself from feeling the joy. It’s okay to step back once in awhile and just enjoy the moment. Even in tough situations – it’s important to smile and laugh here and there. Don’t restrict yourself from doing things you love because they’re “not important” or because you think you’ll be criticized for doing them. Let yourself enjoy life even if you’re not at the best place you could be. You only live once – make the best of it.
  11. Develop a gratitude journal. It’s pretty simple. At the end of every day, write down five things that have made you happy or appreciative that day — not necessarily big things, even small ones count. For example: nice weather, being praised by my boss for getting an urgent errand done, my playful dog, kids and hubby kissing me goodbye before they went to school/work, a hilarious joke a mate shared, etc.
  12. If you feel persistently sad, unmotivated, anxious, hopeless or fearful, seek professional help. You may be suffering from a mood disorder or nutritional deficit which could be contributing to your situation. Remember there is always somebody there who wants to help you. You are valuable!

Tips

  • To “go for it,” simply get up and do it. There is a small voice inside saying “Get up!”, and you need to do what it says; just dive in! Turn off the computer, turn off the TV, and get going!
  • When you think positively, your whole views change about the world and you tend to look on the better, clearer side. It may sound stupid but being resentful is what really renders positive thinking useless. When you let down your walls (or hold out until they collapse…) really trying to “focus on the positives.”
  • If the above fails for you, take the Buddhist view: Life is difficult. The fallacious thought is that we can change that. In accepting that life indeed is difficult, we begin to make it less painful…not less difficult. Accept that life is full of difficulty and choose the religion, belief system, or substance to ingest to decrease the pain; that is after all what the rest of us do. Life can suck, deal with it.

Warnings

  • Don’t make the mistake of standing still rather than giving it a try.
  • Don’t get lost in self-pity. Remember you have the ability to change your outlook and your situation.
  • Resist the urge to act out moods on those around you. Instead, write, confide in a friend, draw, take a walk, etc. Do something creative or physically active, something you feel comfortable doing and that others don’t have the right to criticize.
  • Consult someone if you start having suicidal thoughts. Don’t keep it inside.

Related wikiHows

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Stay Positive when You Know Your Life Sucks. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Yet Another Reason To Be Positive

Yet Another Reason To Be Positive

ScienceDaily (2011-03-01) — A review of more than 160 studies of human and animal subjects has found “clear and compelling evidence” that — all else being equal — happy people tend to live longer and experience better health than their unhappy peers.

Another study has found that being positive, moderately happy and having reduced stress increases health and longevity. They tend to have healthier immune systems and recover faster. This isn’t true for just humans but animals as well.

Pessimism, depression, and anxiety are associated with lower immune system, more disease, and a shorter life span.

One of the study’s authors, Ed Diener said, “…that health and then longevity in turn are influenced by our mood states.”

Since what we think directly affects the way we feel and our mood, here’s just another reason to be optimistic and positive. And optimism is a skill that can be learned. Aren’t the benefits worth it?

To read the entire article, visit Happiness improves health and lengthens life, review finds.

Use Gratitude Lists To Increase Your Optimism

Use Gratitude Lists To Increase Your Optimism

Remember how you were always told to count your blessings? It was to get you to focus on what positive things were in your life, rather that dwell on the negative.

Listing three or more things that you’re grateful for each day is one of the best ways to begin to become more positive and optimistic. It doesn’t make the difficulties go away, but by focusing your attention on better things, you feel better and are able to deal with challenges easier.

Studies are now finding that using this simple technique for just three weeks actually still affects a person positively six months later. The mind has been trained to look for good in the world. Not only does this increase happiness, but it also can help those with depression.

When things look darkest, look for some good in your life. Use it in your personal and professional life. Practice it when you feel down, stressed or pressured. You’ll be training your brain to work at more positive outcomes.

The original source for this article was Want to Boost Your Office Optimism? Try the Tetris Effect at Psychology Today.