inner critic – Empowering Your Mind

You Are Your Authority

March 11, 2025 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Chains breaking — vector silhouette of a girl with raised hands and broken chains

Years ago, I discovered that the critical people in my life, who loved to pick at me and tear me down, were just echoing the condemning voices in my head. I’d spent so much time distracted, defending myself against those outer critics, that I hadn’t addressed the real issue, how I felt about myself. I’d given the past, and the people in it, authority over me.

Most of us have disapproving judgements about ourselves that tell us that we’re not good enough. Maybe you have an inner critic that tells you that you can’t do anything right, that you “should” be perfect, or that making a mistake is worse than death. I know of people who can’t take a day off because they’d feel guilty. And others who refused to hire someone to paint their house because they felt they “ought” to do it. Your internal judge pounds you with its condemnations, both from within, using guilt, and outwardly by reflecting your inner feelings in how the people in your life treat you.

Life Reflects Your Inner Struggle

Many people who have rebelled against authority figures in the past tend to have problems now with bosses, police, the IRS, etc. They defy internalized critical messages from their childhood environment, and don’t accept responsibility for their actions. Therefore, the energy that they have resisted and disowned increases and echoes back to them from the world.

Whatever you feel victimized by will mirror in your life. Just as my environment had been reflecting back to me what was already in my consciousness. I had to change my attitude from defending myself to addressing the internal messages from a position of strength. As I took responsibility for my own well being, the critics began to fade out of my life. I’m not saying it was easy. It wasn’t. But once I convinced myself that no one had the right to put me down, including my internal critic, my life began to improve.

How to Counter Your Critical Judgements

When you listen to the critical things that you say to yourself, you can begin to deal with them. As with everything in the subconscious, they once had a reason and a purpose to protect you. Although they’ve been trying to help you, they’ve been doing it in a way that you have outgrown. Those messages were patterned on the authority figures in your childhood so that you could fit into the conditions at that time. But they are no longer necessary, and won’t realize it until you tell them so. Believe it or not, they’re waiting for you to assert your power over them and reclaim your authority.

If the old ideas are telling you that you don’t deserve good, or that you’re not worthy, realize that the Universe has much more authority than the people who implanted those beliefs in you. And the Infinite knows that you deserve all the good that Life has to offer. Spirit is stronger than any outdated attitude. A Divine truth is that the Universe wants you to accept and express the wholeness of your being.

You Have the Right to Be Free

You have the right to re-examine the standards by which you have lived your life. Those condemning internal messages have been trying to keep you living within the bounds of someone else’s values. With all the knowledge you now have, you can change the attitudes that no longer serve you. Using affirmations and Divine guidance, you can transform the outdated values into ones that are in alignment with love, harmony, joy, abundance, and all the good there is.

Affirmations I used during this period were, “I am the authority in my life” and “I own my authority.” I had to review all the standards I’d grown up with, reassess them and release the ones that no longer served me. When I began to do this, it was scary. The first few times that I stood up for myself, I felt the sky might fall. It didn’t. Instead, the Universe rushed in to support me and my world expanded. The same will be true for you.

Affirmation:

I know that the Universe supports me in the good that I desire. The only one that keeps my good from me is my own thoughts about it. I now release any old concepts that might have restricted my acceptance of all the good I desire. As I place my desire in my mind, knowing that I deserve it, then the All of the Universe rushes in to fulfill it in a perfect way.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

Reclaim Your Power from Your Inner Critic

May 15, 2023 Linda-Ann Stewart

Do you ever hear yourself say you “should” do something? Most people hear this term in an attempt to motivate them to take a particular action. That nagging inner voice comes from the past, and is usually counterproductive. Learn why it harasses you, and what you can do to quiet it down.

Watch Reclaim Your Power from Your Inner Critic.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. Do you ever “should” on yourself, as in “I should [fill in the blank]?” Most of us do to some extent. And most of us resent that inner voice and resist what it’s trying to guilt us to do. But do you ever wonder where that critical voice came from?

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, and I’m a focus coach and hypnotherapist. I’ve worked with many people who were dealing with inner critical voices that were making their lives miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way.

When you hear “you must,” “you ought to,” or “you should,” that voice is generally an echo from earlier in your life. It’s repeating what your mom, dad, relative, teacher, or some other authority expected you to do.

Think about it. Aren’t those dictates familiar? That voice is simply trying to make sure you do what it thinks is necessary for you to gain the approval of the past authority figure. But it’s no longer necessary.

You’re all grown up now, right? You don’t need the approval of people who no longer have any control over your life. You can make your own decisions about what’s best for you. Sometimes, what you decide may align with what that voice wants, and sometimes it won’t. But you no longer have to live up to those expectations.

That voice is trying to help you by keeping you out of trouble with people who may no longer be in your life. It’s an outdated response, isn’t it? So when you hear that order, respond by saying something like, “Thank you, but I can take care of myself now,” or “Thank you, but I can make the decision now.”.

By thanking it, you’re acknowledging that part’s purpose to help. By letting it know you are responsible for your life now, and take care of your responsibilities, it relieves it of further effort. You can then decide what you want to do about whatever it’s concerned about.

It may take some time to re-educate that part of you, so don’t give up. This type of response to it will be much more successful than resisting or avoiding the dictate. By taking back your power and responsibility over your life, you’ll be more effective, successful and authentic.

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please like my YouTube channel so you’re notified when I post future ones.

Please read the accompanying article, Are You Shoulding on Yourself?

Podcast Interview – Thrive Through Greater Self-Worth

September 15, 2022 Linda-Ann Stewart

Emmalou Penrod M.A., of Healing Your Families, and I were introduced by a mutual acquaintance. In our initial conversation, we realized we had something in common. We both had been trained to use hypnosis to improve people’s lives! She’s a retired schoolteacher, and now coaches families to have more peaceful homes. She’s a parenting and family strengthening expert, and brings her knowledge of counseling to help heal families.

As we talked, we had such a connection that she invited me to be interviewed on her podcast at WinWinWomen.tv. Although family issues aren’t my professional area of expertise, one topic that affects everyone is self-worth. My specialties as a hypnotherapist were stress management, success programming and self-esteem/self-worth issues. Since Emmalou and I agreed that having better self-worth made better parents, we decided that would be a great topic to cover.

In the interview, we began by talking about how I became a focus coach for women small business owners. I explained that women tend to be scattered because of all their responsibilities. It’s difficult for them to focus for any length of time on any one thing. But focus is necessary to accomplish anything.

Then Emmalou asked about the opposite of focus, “What do you think of multitasking?”

“Multitasking” is a myth,” I answered, and explained why. She said she’d heard it described as “a lie,” which is also true. Multitasking keeps your brain fractured between all the different tasks. It breaks your train of thought, so you can’t build up momentum on any project or task.

This led into discussing the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. Self-esteem can be impacted by outside variables and self-worth is more internal and fundamental. And both are impacted by having a strong inner critic. Emmalou liked my perspective on the inner critic not being a bad guy, but fulfilling a role that a person has outgrown.

Emmalou asked how a person could improve their self-worth. I answered that being kinder to oneself and being mindful helped to support and build self-worth. At the end of the conversation, I shared three simple steps on how to be kinder to yourself.

Because of Emmalou’s background, expertise and knowledge, I loved talking with her about this subject. I could have gone on for hours, but we had to fit into the podcast’s time frame. But I have articles on this topic here and on my website to help you reclaim your worth. And Emmalou has articles on her blog to help you become a better person, and thus, a better parent.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

December 13, 2021 Linda-Ann Stewart

If you criticize others for some reason, it says more about you than it does about them. Your criticism shows your mental filters, and what causes you discomfort or irritation. It also indicates what you criticize yourself about, because what people object to in others, they tend to object to in themselves. So when you feel tempted to criticize someone, stop and consider what the condemnation says about you.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Self-Compassion Can Help Tame Your Inner Critic

September 11, 2019 Linda-Ann Stewart

When you make a mistake or mess up, you probably harshly judge and condemn yourself. This is your inner critic trying to motivate you to do better. But it generally makes things worse. To tame your inner critic, stop accepting what it says or fighting it. Instead, use self-compassion and be kind to yourself and that part of you. Here’s a three step strategy to defuse your inner critic and improve your relationship with yourself.

Transcript:

Thank you for watching. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart of Heartvision Consulting and a vision strategist. I’d like to give you a strategy that will help you improve your relationship with yourself and your ability to achieve your goals. It has to do with being kind or compassionate to yourself and your inner critic.

Unfortunately, when people do something less than perfect, they tend to judge, criticize and beat themselves up. Do you ever do that? Your inner critic is trying to whip you back into line, to motivate or protect you. But all those negative beliefs and labels you’ve given yourself surface, and make you feel lousy. Does it ever help? No, it doesn’t.

So how can you be compassionate with yourself and deal with the inner critic? Here’s a three step strategy to do so.

1. The first step is to pay attention when your inner critic starts its refrain, but refuse to buy into it. What it’s saying is generally not true. It’s just regurgitated stuff from the past, isn’t it? Just observe what you’re thinking and the feelings it dredges up. This is called being mindful. Not reacting to those ideas, just recognizing them.

2. Second step, acknowledge your inner critic and what it’s repeating. How could you be compassionate to this inner critic? Instead of fighting it, just say something like, “I understand what you’re trying to do.” Or “I know you think this is helpful, but it’s not.” One way is to talk to it like you would to a child who is verbally beating themselves up. Be kind.

3. Third step, be compassionate towards yourself. Say something like, “I messed up, but I’ll do better next time.” Or “I’m human and learning more every day.” Or “I had a moment of weakness. I’ll make a better choice next time.” What would you say to your best friend who’d made the kind of mistake you did? You’d be kind.

When you’re nice to yourself, you have more motivation to do and be better. You actually take more responsibility for your actions. Being compassionate towards yourself allows you to learn and make different choices next time. It will improve your self-image, your well being and your ability to achieve your goals.

If you’d to achieve a 90-day goal more easily, download my free comprehensive Strategic Vision Worksheet.

Thank you for watching. How can you be kinder towards yourself? Take care.

Read the accompanying article, Be Kind to Yourself for More Success.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

October 22, 2018 Linda-Ann Stewart

It is so easy to fall into the trap of being critical. Our society actually encourages it. When you judge another person, condition or situation, you’re limiting Universal energy from flowing through you. Judging is a false way of feeling superior or powerful. As soon as you condemn, you’ve labeled it and restricted any benefit that could come from it or to you. And many times, what you’re judging in others is what you’re critical of in yourself. When you become aware of judging any person or thing, catch yourself and stop. Realize that you may not know all the details. Lighten up with others and with yourself.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem by Acknowledging Yourself

September 12, 2018 Linda-Ann Stewart

A lot of people have a strong inner critic that tears them down, no matter what they do. Instead of helping you, this can undermine your confidence and motivation. To combat this critical inner voice, build yourself up by appreciating yourself and what you do. Linda-Ann will share some specific tips that will cause you to feel better about yourself and accomplish more.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. I’m LAS. A lot of people have a strong inner critic. Do you? It’s a part of you who is always criticizing you and everything you do… or don’t do. It tells you that you’re not good enough, not doing enough, not accomplishing enough… just not enough.

Many of my clients have said that they just didn’t feel like they were enough. That was the way they put it, “I don’t feel like I’m enough.” Have you ever felt that way? You may think that always criticizing yourself can push you to do more, but the opposite is, in fact, true. It can actually sabotage you because it undermines your confidence and motivation. I mean, why try when it’s never enough, right?

Today, I want to give you some specific ways you can respond to the constant criticism you hear from yourself. These tips help to shift your attention to something more positive and build you up rather than tear you down. It’s something I do with my clients, both in my coaching and hypnotherapy practice.

Linda-Ann Stewart of Heartvision Consulting, vision strategist. Using my 30 years of experience as a hypnotherapist, I help women business owners and entrepreneurs align their heart with their vision, chart their course and focus on the strategies that will bring them greater success and prosperity on their terms.

When we talk, I urge them to pay attention to what has changed or improved since our last session. To what they have accomplished. Many of them first tell me nothing is different. But as they talk, they realize just how much has changed and what they have accomplished.

We focus on their progress, and by doing so, are able to build on it. It’s a simple technique of acknowledging what they’ve done, instead of focusing on what they haven’t done. When you focus on what you HAVE done, then you’re motivated to do more. You build up momentum, because you’re feeling successful. And success breeds success.

For instance, I once had a friend, Laura, who used this technique of acknowledging what she’d done. She had a strong inner critic that paralyzed her. Do you ever feel that way? She discovered a way to combat that inner critic. She’d acknowledge her small wins each day. In her journal, she’d list that she’d eaten breakfast, fed the dog, washed her dishes, etc.

These are all daily tasks that had to be done each day, right? And you might wonder why she’d write down these daily tasks shortly after she got up. But it made her feel like she’d accomplished something. It triggered the reward circuit in her brain and released pleasure chemicals into her body. It energized her to keep going and do more. It got her out of the paralysis. Sounds good, right?

I’m sure you’ve heard of a gratitude journal, where you write down things that you’re grateful for each day. Some research is now showing that doing the same thing with your accomplishments, no matter how small, can turn your mood around and make you feel more motivated. It can make you feel like you’re good enough, just like when my clients would start to acknowledge their changes. Acknowledging 3 small wins each day for 7 days can lift your self-esteem for 3 months. Wouldn’t that be great? And it’s simple to do.

Just make a commitment to recognize what you’ve done during the day. It can be in a journal form, or on your phone or calendar. You can acknowledge small achievements, like my friend Laura did, or bigger ones. But don’t just limit this to your accomplishments. Also recognize when you’ve made a small step forward. Not just that you’ve finished a project, but that you’ve worked on a small part of it. Give yourself credit for your effort, not just the results. What can you acknowledge yourself for today?

For instance, acknowledge when you declined that donut, or only had one bite of it, or had a salad for lunch. When you balanced your checkbook or paid down your credit card. Or when you made that one follow up call you’d been dreading. All of these are valid actions to celebrate.

Other items you can appreciate about yourself are your strengths, your values, and your talents. For instance, you are consistent in sending out an ezine every month. That’s something to acknowledge. Or when you fulfill a promise, to yourself or someone else, like being on time for a lunch date. Or if you’ve been wanting to draw, and finally put a pencil to paper, that’s something to be proud of.

When you begin to focus on what’s good about you and what you do, instead of what’s negative, you’ll feel better about yourself. You’re praising yourself for being who you are in your life. You’ll feel like you’re making progress, which is important. Because progress means you’re moving forward. It’s encouraging and inspiring. And isn’t that a better way to motivate yourself?

If you’d like some help in achieving your goals, apply for a complimentary Clarify Your Vision coaching consultation.

Thank you for watching. I hope to hear from you that acknowledging yourself has made you feel more motivated and enough. Take care.

Read the accompanying article, 3 Reasons to Acknowledge and Appreciate Yourself.

[suffusion-the-author display=’description’]

Empowering Your Mind

Mindset, Motivation and Empowerment

Browsed by
Tag: inner critic

You Are Your Authority

March 11, 2025 Linda-Ann Stewart

Reclaim Your Power from Your Inner Critic

May 15, 2023 Linda-Ann Stewart

Podcast Interview – Thrive Through Greater Self-Worth

September 15, 2022 Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

December 13, 2021 Linda-Ann Stewart

Self-Compassion Can Help Tame Your Inner Critic

September 11, 2019 Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

October 22, 2018 Linda-Ann Stewart

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem by Acknowledging Yourself

September 12, 2018 Linda-Ann Stewart