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“Cleanse Your Mind Of Resentment, Part 1”

“Cleanse Your Mind Of Resentment, Part 1”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Mark was a simmering pool of resentment. Anything said to him he perceived as a slight. He felt that the whole world was given advantages denied to him, and that he couldn’t get ahead. No one wanted to be around his negativity, so his belief was a self-fulfilling prophecy affecting his personal and professional life.

Anger generally signals that some value or boundary has been violated and occurs during a single event. If anger prompts positive action or a decision to change, it can actually be beneficial. It can motivate you to stop smoking, eliminate a negative friend, or work for social change.

However, if there isn’t a resolution, release or plan to address the cause, then anger can curdle into the toxic emotion of resentment. When you hold a grudge or want revenge, resentment has gotten hold of you. It poisons your whole perspective and continually restresses you. This destructive emotion can become a habit and cause you to view yourself as a victim.

There are different types of resentment.

  • Do you feel someone has wronged you or treated you badly? If so, you’re simply rehearsing something that has already happened. Even if it’s warranted, resentment won’t change the past. But it will erode your self-image and sense of empowerment.
  • Do you begrudge people who have something you don’t? “Whatever you resent is a statement of what you lack,” says Robert Anthony. It’s common to resent co-workers who have been promoted, or a public figure who has fame or fortune. By resenting them, you’re indirectly telling yourself that you can’t have what they do.
  • Are you upset at having to give up a lifestyle or habit that has been pleasurable? Most smokers resent that they have to quit smoking even though it’s self-destructive. They also don’t like it when others pressure them to take that action. Unfortunately, their very resistance undermines their success.

Resentment doesn’t affect the person it’s aimed at. The only one it harms is you; your health and mental well-being. They’ll probably never even know how you feel and might not even care if they did. So it’s not even fulfilling a productive function.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“Life Is A Metaphor, Part 2”

“Life Is A Metaphor, Part 2”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

There’s an old saying, “What you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying.” We can’t hide from ourselves. It’s painted on the canvas of our lives. All we have to do is be aware.

  • Are you eating until you’re stuffed? What else are you stuffing? Hint: Generally it’s an emotion.
  • Does your house look nice and neat and tidy, but your drawers and closets can’t be opened for the mess? You haven’t assessed the outdated stuff of your life and released what’s no longer helpful.
  • Do people treat you like a doormat? That’s because you treat yourself that way by not standing up for yourself.
  • Are you working so hard, doing so much, that you don’t have time for that hobby you love? It’s because you haven’t made time for the hobby that you have so little free time.

Whatever your issue, look at how it’s outpicturing in your life. You’ll be able to recognize it in several areas, because it won’t just be reflecting in an isolated spot of your canvas.  It’ll be reflecting in your entire environment.

Our outer experience is simply a metaphor for the thought energy that’s in our minds. For instance, I have raced ahead so fast, that I haven’t processed much of the information that I’ve accumulated. Not only in my business, but also in my life. My piles were old, outdated information that either needed to be tossed away or filed.

I’d procrastinated filing anything because it was so hard to fit anymore into the crammed drawers of my file cabinets. Recently, I expanded my file drawers. Another metaphor. I’d needed to expand my vision. Now, I need to take the time to finish going through my stuff before I go any further. When I do it in one area, it’ll begin happening in the other areas as well. Only then will I begin to break free of my old restrictions and really accept more of Life.

Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“Life Is A Metaphor, Part 1”

“Life Is A Metaphor, Part 1”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Some time ago, I went through some piles on my desk. I’d been feeling hemmed in, overwhelmed, frustrated by them. I hadn’t had time for months to take care of them, and finally it got to a breaking point. I didn’t have room to work on my desk, and I couldn’t find things I needed.

Stymied, restricted, overwhelmed  Recently, this had been the way I’d been feeling about life and my work. And here it was staring me in the face. I’d been manifesting my feelings in my work area.

Life is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Since I hadn’t cleared away those piles, I’d blocked myself from moving forward. My own tendency not to file old mail and magazines had resulted in life not flowing easily for me. I’d been building a new business so fast, that I hadn’t taken the time to clear away the debris. And it was beginning to obstruct access to the new structure.

We all do this. However we act towards ourselves, comes back at us from our world. Life is simply a mirror for us. All we have to do is look at where we’re uncomfortable in our outer lives, and we can see where we’re uncomfortable within our own minds and hearts.

Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

A Story About Setting An Intention

A Story About Setting An Intention

Recently, Jeff and I visited Phoenix, 120 miles away. I had a meeting and we planned to do some shopping. The afternoon was forecasted to be stormy, but I hoped the rain would hold off until we were on our way home in the early evening.

We were pretty lucky. The rain held off all afternoon. As Jeff shut the car door after our next-to-last stop, it started to rain. By the time we pulled out of the parking place, it was pouring.

We still had one stop to make, to get gas, which would have been interesting with the continuous lightning. But we drove out of that storm cell, and were able to stay dry while we got gas.

Our route remained dry most of the way home. Lightning lit the clouds all around us on our trip. About 30 minutes from home, we noticed a bunch of brake lights up ahead on the freeway. We slowed down, and as we got closer we noticed lots of cars pulled off to the side of the road.

As we got to the area, we realized that the ground and road were covered with hail. There were a few hailstones still falling, but nothing like what had created this hazard. We must have missed that storm by just a minute or so. A couple of miles further, we drove out of the precipitation.

Just a few miles from home, we drove through some rain and a few hailstones. But it was dry when we got home. We unloaded the car, and not fifteen minutes later, it started to pour. We were very fortunate to have ducked most of the storms that day and evening.

When I heard the weather report for our trip, I’d set my intention to stay dry while in and out of the car in Phoenix. For the most part, it happened. Do I believe I changed the weather? No. Especially since so many thousands of people in our drought ridden state wanted it to rain.

However, I believe my intention affected our timing. If we’d been in that last shop for 10 seconds more, we would have been drenched. We missed the hailstorm by seconds, and got home minutes before the storm hit. We weren’t able to avoid all of the storms, but we dodged most of them and the most damaging ones.

When you set an intention, you bring all the force and direction of your creative mind to bear on a situation. It can make you aware of opportunities, or inspire you to make a contact. Or it can affect your timing so that you return home safely during a day of storms.

Book Review – “Beyond Postive Thinking”

Book Review – “Beyond Postive Thinking”

“Beyond Positive Thinking:
A No-Nonsense Formula For Getting The Results You Want”
by Dr. Robert Anthony

This book a step-by-step process for “right thinking” rather than “positive thinking.” It doesn’t pull any punches regarding why you do the things you do that sabotage your goals. And it specifically tells you want to do about them, so you can achieve your dreams.

This is a users manual for the Law of Attraction. Beginning with the basics of self-esteem, it dives deeply into all the aspects of what could block you from your desires. It addresses the obstacles you encounter and suggests solutions for them.

This is one of the best books I’ve found that explains how to go about creating the life you want. It doesn’t just give you steps to follow, but instructs you on strategies and time-tested techniques. He explains how to use affirmations, intentions, visualization and more.

It’s written in a very clear and understandable manner, directly addressing what to do and why. It’s tightly packed with information, explanations and exercises to change your thoughts and reframe your beliefs.

You’ll need to read this book over and over again, because you won’t be able to absorb all of it in a single reading. If you want to change your mind to change your life, read this book.

“How long does it take for an affirmation to take effect?”

“How long does it take for an affirmation to take effect?”

Question: How long does it take for an affirmation to take effect?

Answer: It depends on how long and how deeply ingrained the old conditioning is. If it’s been there for a long time, or it’s a deeply held belief, it may take a few months of constant affirmation to completely change it. You will likely notice small improvements along the way.

Think of it like tacking a boat. You have to make small incremental changes in the boat’s course to turn it around. If you try to change the course too fast from due west to due east, then you risk ending up in the water. Keep track of the improvements, and use them to encourage yourself.

I tell my clients that it takes thirty days to change a habit (mental or physical), another thirty days to create a new habit (which would be your new thought pattern), and another thirty days to make that new habit familiar.

Even after that, you may find that times of stress may tempt you back to the old way of thinking. That’s normal, because that way has been the most familiar to the subconscious. Just start declaring your affirmation again.

Copyright 2002, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

How To Break Through Your Deadlock

How To Break Through Your Deadlock

Sometimes, when you’re stuck, you don’t know what to do to get things moving again. The problem may be that you’re holding onto some idea that’s holding you back. Here’s a simple technique that comes from Feng Shui, endorsed by organizers, that can help loosen that energy and get life moving again.



“Love Enough To Let Others Heal” Part 2

“Love Enough To Let Others Heal” Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

I know I’m not alone in the struggle between loving others unconditionally and loving myself. Many of the people I meet, and my clients, struggle with this, too. How can we balance our spirituality with insisting someone treat us with honor?

With God as a loving Presence, God accepts all that we do without judgment. As we try to emulate that aspect of God, we forget that God doesn’t protect us from the consequences of our actions.

If we step on a rake, we get to experience the rake hitting us in the face. We learn from that to be careful around rakes. God doesn’t stop the rake from hitting us, but if we ask for help in healing our bruised face, God is there to heal us.

That is why there is cause and effect. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This is to help us learn from our mistakes.

The core of this is, God doesn’t enable. The Universe is constantly growing and expanding. Unless we do the same, we get prodded along. Cosmic two-by-fours whack us.

When you allow people to put you down, humiliate you, belittle you, then you are contributing to making their inevitable consequences harder for them. Universal laws will eventually pull them up short, and the more they’ve run roughshod over peoples’ lives, the harder their lesson is going to be.

By setting boundaries, you are growing in love. Love of self, and loving the other person enough to put a stop to their breaking Universal Laws of compassion. Love them enough to allow them to experience the consequences of their actions.

That’s the only way any of us learn. In that way, you are emulating high spiritual qualities and reflecting the unconditionally loving Divine Presence within you.

Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

“Love Enough To Let Others Heal” Part 1

“Love Enough To Let Others Heal” Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Over several years, as I grew spiritually, I discovered that letting others hurt me, and excusing them, hurt them as well. My intentions were to make them feel better about themselves. I was trying to reflect the Divinity within me by loving unconditionally.

When my friends would snap at me, I’d tell myself they didn’t mean it, that they were simply unhappy. Returning anger and hatred with love and compassion, I let my friends treat me like dirt because I knew they were wounded.

I wanted them to heal, and thought my loving them unconditionally would initiate the healing. It never did. It just encouraged them to remain wounded and lashing out at me.

In co-dependency terms, this is called “enabling.”  Some time back, when I was told that it wasn’t my role to be their whipping boy, I countered with “But, we’re supposed to turn the other cheek. Give the shirt off our backs. Love unconditionally. Be nonjudgmental.”

As time went on, I finally realized that I wasn’t helping them by letting them hurt me. I was enabling them to remain the same, and continue treating me with disrespect because they knew they could.

I wasn’t creating any urgency for them to heal. And sooner or later, they were going to get a cosmic two-by-four up side the head to force them to begin the healing process. The longer they continued their behavior, the worse their eventual crisis would be.

I was actually contributing to their woundedness by not setting any limits. I needed to value myself enough to stop them devaluing me. As I began to cherish my well being, and counter their humiliations, my life began to improve overall.

Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

What Are You Holding Onto That’s Holding You Back?

What Are You Holding Onto That’s Holding You Back?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Kay had been unsuccessfully searching for a job for over a year. Unfortunately, her choices were limited because she had only minimal computer skills and didn’t want to learn any more. Finally, one night she capitulated. “Fine. If I have to learn to work with computers to get a job, I’ll do it.” Within a week, she’d found a job and needed only minor computer skills for it. But she didn’t find the job until she let go of resistance that was limiting her choices.

When you’re stuck in place, and not making any progress, you may need to release something that you’re hanging onto with all your might. It may be an idea, belief, attitude, role, relationship or outdated image of yourself. You may not even be aware of what it is. But it’s blocked the flow of your life. Here are some things to consider if your life isn’t moving forward like you want it to.

1. Is your image of how a situation “should” or “ought to” be constricting you? Have you placed conditions on what you will and won’t do? As long as you’re trying to direct the way circumstances unfold, you’re blocking the flow of energy. It can be scary to release your preconceptions, because you don’t know what the results will look like. But you can’t control them anyway, and trying to do so is getting in the way.

2. Many times, you need to release a lesser desire for a greater reward. For instance, it’s easier to lounge on the sofa than it is to get up and exercise. But the outcome from the activity has so many benefits. To receive them, you have to let go of your short-term comfort to achieve long-term goals. Or you may need to cut an old friend loose if their negative attitude is affecting yours thus making room for someone who is more positive.

3. If you’re stuck, consider what idea, belief or attitude might be holding you back. Just as Kay was attached to her hatred of computers, you may be reluctant to let go of some long-held idea. The concept may not even be about the area you want to move toward. But it’s some unreasonable condition you’re clinging to that you’ve placed on your life. It could be a role or self-image, such as “Managers don’t do filing,” “I can’t lead meetings” or “I’m not good enough.” Whatever it is, the idea isn’t serving you any more, and you need to let it go to move forward.

4. Ask yourself, “What am I holding onto the hardest?” or “What am I resisting letting go of the most?” It may not be the idea itself that’s restricting you. It’s the energy you’re using to hold onto it that’s created the block. Kay didn’t need computer skills for the job she got, she just needed to open her mind to the possibility. If you refuse to move forward in one area, other areas have a hard time expanding, too.

The Universe is about expansion and flow. It’s like a river, always trying to move you forward. However, if you want to go “tubing” down a river, but you’re hanging onto a rock, you won’t get very far, and you’ll never flow downstream to a greater good.

Affirmation

The Universe always wants to expand through more good into my life. I open my mind to be willing to recognize what’s holding back my progress. I now release any self-imposed obstacles to greater good. They’re old ideas that no longer serve me. I let them go easily and smoothly, knowing that better things are on their way to me now.

Copyright 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved