Whenever you do something repeatedly, and get some reward or reinforcement for it, eventually becomes automatic, or a habit. If you try to focus on strictly changing the behavior through willpower, you’re likely to fail. Instead, use this 3 step process to change habits and get started making a better life for yourself.
Read the accompanying article, Habits Become Your Destiny.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
Are you in a comfort zone? This is where you feel safe. When you venture out of it, you feel anxious and uncertain. Most people elect to stay within that area that feels familiar. The comfort zone is like a muscle. It is either expanding and getting stronger or contracting and becoming weaker. Since the Universe is also always expanding, if you’re not stretching, you’re resisting the flow of the Universe. Eventually, your comfort zone will eventually shrink and your world and confidence will get smaller. Even though it’s scary, step out of it and take some risks. They may not always be successful, but you will be successful, because you stepped out and extended yourself.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
5 Struggles Overly-Nice People Would Understand So Well
Many people admire nice people, but unfortunately, others take advantage of them. Nice people expect others to be like them, so they give them the benefit of the doubt, when they may not deserve it. Not only does this article describe some of the struggles nice folks have, but it gives some suggestions on how to deal with them.
Why Your Attitude Is Everything
One of the most important steps you can take toward achieving your greatest potential in life is to monitor your attitude. Most people don’t have an awareness of what their attitudes are. But your attitude governs the way you perceive the world and the way the world perceives you. Here are 10 ways to improve your attitude.
Power of Consistency: 5 Rules
Consistency is the difference between failure and success. This article describes why it’s important to success in business. But the same could be said about your personal life. Learn about the rules and start applying them in your personal and professional lives.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
How To Remember 90% Of Everything You Learn
Whether you’re learning Spanish, a new instrument, or a new sport, you could benefit from accelerated learning. But the problem is, there’s only so much time in the day. The key to accelerated learning is not just putting in more hours, but maximizing the effectiveness of the time spent learning. It explains the best ways to learn so you remember.
Being Positive Is Not For the Faint Hearted
Does the news leave you feeling depressed or drained? Researchers find that the news can increase anxiety and depression, shape your sense of identity and affect your beliefs about humanity. But rather than avoiding the news, seek stories that uplift you. This video and tip sheet will help you find ways to use the news to enhance your life.
New Finding: Different Types of Exercise Affect Different Parts of Your Brain
There are numerous reasons to exercise, from becoming more fit to being healthier. But exercise can also improve your brain. Exercise can improve your memory and attention. This article examines the different types of exercises and how they affect different areas of the brain, giving you even more benefits.
There is a law in physics that says, “A body at rest tends to stay at rest. A body in motion tends to stay in motion.” If you want to make changes in your life, inertia is one thing you’ll need to overcome. It’s all too easy to just hope that changes will happen if you simply think about them. But the truth is that you have to be willing to put some energy into them. What changes do you want? And how important are they to you? Are you ready to get into motion so your actions bring the changes you want?
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
If you want to make a drastic change in your life, it’s better to do it when things are stable and relatively calm, if you can. Stress can sometimes be a motivator, but it’s not a good time to make significant changes. When you’re stressed, your subconscious is already stretched thin to deal with what’s going on. Asking it to divert its resources to include something else that’s new would be counterproductive. You simply amp up your stress and make it harder on yourself. Once you’ve weathered the difficulty, and gotten on more solid ground, that’s the time to begin to spread your wings.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
If you’ve ever been hurt by someone close to you, past or present, and need some help in dealing with it and getting to forgiveness, this book is for you. Not only does the author walk you through the journey of recognizing and acknowledging the injury, assigning responsibility, and describing the steps a person goes through along the way, but she also includes many exercises and tools to handle all of these phases.
When we’re wounded by someone close to us in a way that betrays the foundation of the relationship, then we feel like our world has been turned upside down. It forces us to re-evaluate our beliefs, and who we are. Our sense of stability and safety has been violated. To be able to heal from this, we have to examine the injury and its consequences.
As spiritual people, many of us believe that we have to take responsibility for everything that happens to us. That’s true to a certain extent. But we can’t control another person’s feelings and actions. So we need to assign responsibility to who actually, consciously and with intent, harmed us. Forgiveness doesn’t mean pardoning the other person. It’s letting go of the anger, empowering ourselves to move on, and recognizing that the wound has changed who we are. We set them free and ourselves free.
Forgiveness is a process of healing, not an eraser of hurt. This comprehensive book explains how to move through that process successfully and grow from it.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
by Martin Seligman, Ph.D.
Wow! This is another book that I recommend to my clients, participants in my classes, and practically anyone who’s ever experienced depression, pessimism, or difficulty in achieving their dreams. Based on over twenty years worth of research, Dr. Seligman shows how optimism combats depression, improves health, enhances success, and much more. Not a rah-rah book for being positive, it covers the questions about his research and how he came to his conclusions.
There are exercises to test whether you’re optimistic or not, and how depressed you might be. A thought always precedes an emotion, and Dr. Seligman found that pervasive negative thoughts always preceded a person’s depression. He describes how some people “learn” to be helpless, and then don’t try, even when they are assured of success. If you’re a parent, teacher, or have a child in your life, the author explains how children become pessimistic and how it affects their lives. He even addresses the conditions when realistic thinking, not optimism, is best in the situation.
Best of all, this book gives instructions on how to change your thinking from pessimistic to optimistic. You simply have to learn how to change the way you explain the situations of your life to yourself. In other words, change your internal dialogue.
It’s an engrossing and entertaining read, considering that it covers much of his research. But it also gives case histories of people who have changed their lives. I can’t recommend this book highly enough.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
Stopping ‘Should’ Shaming — Ending the Self-Imposed Guilt Game
Unless you are already aware of the damage it causes, you probably say “should” at least a few times a day. When you say this word, it indicates that you aren’t doing what you would benefit from, or you’re not committed to a decision. This brings on guilt and self-reproach, which don’t help the situation. Here are 3 steps to take to stop “shoulding” on yourself and feeling better.
Science Says Silence Is Much More Important To Our Brains Than We Think
Research is finding that silence can actually help your brain in many different ways. It can grow more brain cells and improve your memory and learning. Silence helps your brain to process and integrate information. Of course, it also relieves stress and tension. Read this article to find other ways that silence helps your brain.
10 Must Watch Ted Talks on Positive Emotions
Barbara Fredrickson, the developer of Broaden and Build Theory, introduced the idea that the more positive emotions we experience sends us into an upward spiral where happiness and well being dwell. Her research into the dynamics and benefits of positive emotions focuses primarily on the 10 most common positive emotions. This article focuses on TED talks which offer some insight into these different positive emotions.
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” – Henry Ford
Your beliefs and attitudes will bring you their equivalent in your world. When they remain the same, you’ll attract what you’ve experienced in the past. You can’t make a change when you’re thinking and acting in the same way you always have. The only way to have improved circumstances is to make different decisions and follow through on them. That way, you break the stalemate and open the doors for something greater to enter.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
