balance – Empowering Your Mind

Can Kindness Backfire?

January 15, 2024 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

No act of kindness, no matter how small, was ever wasted

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “No good deed goes unpunished.” This is often times true if you do your good deed for external gratitude or appreciation. If that’s the reason you perform your good deed, you miss the inner rewards that come with giving of yourself. But there are times in which too much kindness, or trying to push it on others, can be a problem.

The Downside of Kindness

There are times when your intention is to be kind, but it’s not helpful to the person, or may actually harm you. Here are some examples of when kindness can misfire.

Misinterpreting the situation. What you offer as a kindness the other person may reject. You may sincerely want to help those who want to remain self-reliant. For instance, a child whose parent tries to tie their shoe, only to have the child say, “I can do it myself.” In this case, respecting their independence is kindness.

People who don’t want help. You notice that someone needs help, but they don’t want any assistance. Early in my hypnotherapy and coaching practice, I learned that I couldn’t help those who didn’t want help. If I tried to convince them that things could be better, it caused them to rebel and cling more tightly to their issue. Kindness would be to let go and wait until they ask for help.

Giving too much of yourself. Many years ago, I got into a situation where I was involved in a lot of groups. Because I was overinvolved and not taking care of myself, my health started to sputter and I was constantly sick. To be kind to myself, I had to back out of all of my commitments and lower my stress so I could get healthy again.

People expecting too much. This is the second part of the last example. The person in charge of one of the groups I was volunteered at insisted I continue to work, despite my health issues. She expected me to do what she wanted, no matter how it harmed me. When someone tries to bully you, your responsibility is to be considerate of your needs.

Find a Balance

Being kind is important, for your well being and for the benefit of others. But don’t try to force kindness on people, because that can create a backlash. And that may cause you to be less kind in the future. If you find yourself being taken advantage, of or trying to force kindness on others, take a step back and reassess.

When your kindness is rejected and you may want to shut down, remember your intention was to help. Aesop said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, was ever wasted.” Find those who will welcome your help or those that you can help in smaller ways.

If you find yourself overextended, or being taken advantage of, pull back and set boundaries. Self-care must come first or you can’t help anyone else. The most important person to help and to be kind to is you. Kindness spreads kindness, and when you attend to your needs, you have more to give.

Affirmation:

I am loving, compassionate, and kind to myself and others. I recognize when my kindness will be welcomed and accepted. Even in delicate or difficult situations, I am Divinely guided in ways to be kind with helping others. I treat others with respect and empathy. By embracing kindness, I’m able to wisely use it in the best way for everyone concerned.

Watch the accompanying video, Be as Kind to Yourself as You Are to Others.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

How to Take Back Control When Stress Overwhelms You

June 3, 2021 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Life can sometimes unexpectedly speed up and come at you fast. Suddenly, you have a cluster of challenging events to deal with. It could be a major health issue with the upheaval of all the medical appointments to schedule around. Or it could be several expensive home repairs at an inconvenient time (is there ever a convenient time for expensive repairs?). Or you may be trying to juggle extra work with family demands.

Any kind of turmoil like this can cause stress and feelings of overwhelm. You feel like life has spun out of control and you have no stability. Your mind narrows its focus and you start reacting from old habits that may not be helpful in the present situation. This also creates static with your connection to the Universe. It makes it harder to access your intuition and Divine Guidance. With your attention focused on immediate concerns, you can’t notice potential solutions.

Take Back Control

While it’s important to have your vision in mind, in times of overwhelm, your vision can be beyond your ability to consider. You have to find some equilibrium first. To get back into balance, there are some things to do, and not do.

Don’t multi-task. This just makes the situation worse. When you multi-task, you’re quickly switching your attention from one task to another, and that increases the stress hormones. You may feel like you’re being productive, but you don’t accomplish much, which just increases your feelings of frustration.

Slow down. Give yourself time to think and assess the situation. Ask yourself, “What are my options?” This allows you to stop reacting and being impulsive, and instead encourages you to make better choices and decisions.

Focus on one thing at a time. You’ll be able to reclaim a sense of control. Wash the dishes. Do the laundry. Make that call you’ve been procrastinating. Once you’ve done one task, move on to the next. Stay mindful about what you want to accomplish and take it one tiny step at a time.

It’s all about being mindful, and creating an island of calm in the present, while re-establishing your connection to the Universe. Once you’ve taken charge and lowered your stress level, your mind can think more clearly. You won’t feel as pressured and can open your mind to handle a bit more. By re-establishing a sense of stability, you’ll have more resources at your disposal and be able to expand your horizons once again.

Affirmation:

I’m always connected with the Universe, and being guided and directed. When life gets hectic, I quiet my mind, slow down and assess what my best option might be. I focus on my next step, allowing my mind to become organized and clear. Peace and serenity flow through me and all things work out in the best way possible for my highest good.

Watch the accompanying video, 3 Steps to Being More Focused and Effective.

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How to Get Unstuck and Reduce Stress

April 8, 2020 Linda-Ann Stewart

During this crisis, people are feeling stuck, stressed and off balance. It’s hard to think clearly or to know what you can do that’s productive and positive. So most people just remain immobilized. Here’s a simple strategy you get you back in control, reduce your stress, and allow you to regain your balance.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision strategist. Today, I’d like to talk a little bit about how you can reduce some of the stress you may be feeling as a result of our current crisis. We’re in unknown territory.

Everyone is feeling out of their depth and off balance. They’re worried about their health and that of their loved ones, worried about finances, and uncertain about how long this crisis will last. All of this worry and uncertainty causes stress. And with stress, it’s hard to make rational decisions. We react, and can’t think clearly of how to respond in a productive way.

Instead, it’s human nature to either fight, freeze or try to flee from the danger. We either feel angry, immobilized or fearful. It’s nature’s way of helping us deal with a threat, right? Well, we can’t fight a virus. I mean hand-to-hand combat. And we certainly can’t flee from it while we’re quarantined, can we? However, people have complained the most to me about feeling frozen, stuck or helpless.

The way out of feeling stuck is to move, to actively do something positive. There are a lot of things you can’t control or do anything about right now. But what can you control? You can control your actions and attention. So focus on what you can do, just one thing you can do.

What one positive thing can you do today that will make you feel like you accomplished something? It could be as simple as taking a shower, changing out of your pajamas or changing a light bulb. That’s your first step. When you get one thing done, no matter how small, it will give you encouragement to do something else. You could reach out to a loved one or friend. Send a greeting card. Try out a new recipe. Do something creative.

As you take action, it becomes easier to do it again. Feeling in control reduces the feelings of stress, which means you’ll be able to think more clearly. You may be able to plan for what’s next. Who knows? You might even end up cleaning out the garage. Maybe. No pressure. But even if you don’t achieve that massive task, you will still have been able to regain your sense of balance, by just doing one thing at a time.

If you’d to achieve a 90-day goal more easily, download my free comprehensive Strategic Vision blueprint at www. Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You’ll receive the blueprint, as well as a video of that walks you through it with tips and directions to support you in you in accomplishing your goal.

Thank you for watching. My wish for you is to stay well, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Read the complementary article, When Life Gives You Lemons…

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Empowering Your Mind

Mindset, Motivation and Empowerment

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