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Be True To Yourself, Part 2

Be True To Yourself, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Living up to your values isn’t always easy. Sometimes it can be inconvenient and difficult, such as trying to carve out family time from a busy professional life. But if you try to rationalize and ignore your standards, because it’s expedient in the situation, you’ll create internal strife and tension. When you violate your values, you feel abandoned, because you’ve betrayed your deepest self.

Honoring your values builds empowerment and self-worth. By supporting what you feel is important, you validate yourself and your choices. You feel good about yourself, feeling more whole and complete. By taking action on what you feel is right for you, you build a sense of self-respect. You approve of yourself and your actions.

When you live in alignment with your standards, then you feel worthy of happiness, abundance, joy, and all good. You’re more open to the Universal flow of good. There is less inner resistance to it and you feel more deserving of it. Other people recognize that you’re more in tune with yourself, and are drawn to you. And because you can trust yourself, they’ll be able to trust you. Other people know what to expect from you and will respect you for that.

Learning what your values are helps you to make better decisions. You can ask yourself, “Does this allow me to support my values?” and “Does this violate my values?” Sometimes, the choice to follow your heart can be difficult in the short term. You may have to sacrifice something you want so that you’re in alignment with your deepest self. But the long term rewards for being true to yourself are beyond measure.

Affirmation

I recognize and honor the values that I cherish. When I need to make a choice, I consider what’s important to me. Even if it’s a difficult choice, I realize that it’s worth it. My values are unique to me and I deserve to live in alignment with them. As I’m true to myself, I open to more Universal good of abundance, happiness, and joy.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Be True To Yourself, Part 1

Be True To Yourself, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” When you are true to yourself, you follow certain values that you live your life by.

A moral is “You must be honest,” and are generally dictated by culture, society or religion. But when you’re working on your income tax return, you might feel that you’re entitled to keep the money that you’ve earned. In this case, your value would be that any way to elude the regulations is ok, so that you keep what you believe is rightfully yours. Values are core beliefs that you have accepted or created and they direct your actions and decisions.

Values are also attitudes and behaviors that you’ve consciously decided are important to you. They motivate you to act in constructive ways. They might have been inspired by others, but they are ideas that you have chosen to live by. What they aren’t are ideas that have been imposed on you or you think you should have.

For instance, if you enjoy being an omnivore (eating meat and vegetables), and your friends pressure you into being a vegetarian, that’s not a value that you’ve chosen for yourself. And you’ll probably eventually return to what resonates with you. Some values are created by fear, such as, “Don’t rock the boat,” or “Be invisible.” These are constrictive and don’t allow you to expand into your potential.

A positive core value would be one such as honesty, independence, empathy, order, personal power, risk taking, family time and similar concepts. When you uphold your values and live accordingly, you feel fulfilled and authentic. However, when you aren’t true to yourself, or violate your individual values, you feel anxious and out of sorts. You probably feel guilty because you’ve violated what you cherish.

For instance, if you value honesty, you can’t shoplift or steal from another. For Anabel, honesty was a core value. As a teenager, she accidentally walked out of a store with a candy bar. In a store across the mall, she realized what she’d done. She went directly back to the original store, explained what had happened and paid for it. Rather than taking the easy way out and just keeping the candy, she took action on what she valued. If she hadn’t, she would have violated what she held dear.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Let Yourself Shine

Let Yourself Shine

When you let your light shine, you give others permission to let theirs shine, too. You raise your self-esteem and your light shines brighter as you deliberately share your light with others. Learn 3 easy ways to brighten another’s path by letting your light shine.


Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 2

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

If you shut yourself down by hiding your light, you block the flow of Universal good to you, as well as reduce the availability of your inner resources and creativity. You’re more concerned with your anxiety than you are with what’s going on with the other person. When you close yourself off, you’ve prejudged how others are going to perceive you. Don’t make their decision for them. Trust in yourself, and you might be surprised at how you’re accepted.

The best thing you can do for yourself, and for everyone else, is to be at ease with yourself and don’t try to hide your light. Be present with the people you’re with, accepting them for who they are. They may not be able to return the acceptance, but that’s their problem. When you let your light out into the world, you build your self-esteem. It shows that you value, or esteem, yourself, your opinions, talents and abilities.

When you are authentic, you encourage people who are timid to be more authentic, too. Marianne Williamson in “A Return to Love” says, “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” When you’re courageous and choose to be yourself, you’re giving others the message that it’s okay to be free, too.

When Grace’s self-esteem grew and she began to stand up to Hallie, the friendship ended. Grace realized that Hallie hadn’t been a friend for a long time. Although sad, Grace was relieved that she no longer had to keep herself hidden away. Allowing yourself to be authentic means that those who can’t accept you will move on to find others they can bully.

It’s safe for you to be authentic now. You’re in a different place in your life, and have accumulated knowledge, wisdom and resources that you didn’t have when you were younger. When you let your light out, you give others the opportunity to appreciate you and you’re more open to be able to appreciate them. You’re also a model for others to be authentic. As you honor yourself in this way, you’re better able to access your creativity. It allows you to be more successful in every area of your life.

Affirmation

I give myself permission to be authentic. In so doing, I open my mind and heart to more Universal good to come to me. I value my opinions, talents and abilities. It’s now safe for me to be myself and I know that I can handle any challenge that comes my way. I accept myself and others and know that I’m good enough.

Read Part 1 of Let The Real You Shine Through.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 1

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

As they were growing up, Grace’s friend Hallie put her down at every opportunity, undermined her successes, and accused Grace of “Feeling she was better than everyone else.” To try to reduce Hallie’s resentment, Grace stopped sharing the goals she achieved and her accomplishments.

In essence, she hid her authenticity to make Hallie feel less threatened. It didn’t work. Hallie could still see Grace’s light, and did her best to extinguish it. Nothing Grace did could have made her friend feel better about herself or eliminate her attacks.

When you’re authentic and let your inner light shine, it’s going to make some people uncomfortable. They’re insecure within themselves and they resent that you aren’t insecure, too. Creative and sensitive people pick up on that and try to deflect or reduce it by minimizing their achievements or becoming invisible.

Understand that nothing that you do, or don’t do, is going to remedy their anxiety. It’s an issue within them that they’ve focused onto you. You’re not responsible for their pain, for healing it, for making them feel comfortable with themselves or with you. There’s no reason for you to cater to their insecurities to try to make them treat you better.

When you close off your light, you do so out of fear. You’re judging yourself by old standards that don’t mean anything anymore. As a result, you condemn yourself and hide to avoid retribution. You’re simply reacting to old messages that have been installed in your mind. Your fear comes from filtering your current situation through outgrown situations from the past.

By not breaking free from your fear, you’re telling yourself that you don’t feel confident in handling the challenges of your life. However, those ideas came from a time and place that’s long gone. You no longer have to abandon yourself to stay safe. Now you can accept your power and authority.

Read Part 2 of Let The Real You Shine Through.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Take a Risk and Claim Your Authenticity, Part 2

Take a Risk and Claim Your Authenticity, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

As an art teacher and friend once said, “Give yourself permission to do it badly.” That’s one of the most freeing concepts for creativity. When you do this, you allow yourself to experiment and be spontaneous. And only with experimentation can you find new ways and techniques. Staying with the “same old, same old” will simply keep you in a rut.

Pick up a brush, lump of clay or camera and create something. Challenge some of the beliefs you have and say, “No” to something you don’t want to do. The sky is unlikely to fall, and you’ll feel stronger. Hold your ground when someone tries to bully you. Tell a friend how you feel when she’s always an hour late for lunch.

You’re more authentic when you risk. Stepping out of what’s secure and safe breaks down your inner barriers. You unblock yourself and let the Universe flow more fully through you. And even when things don’t work out, as sometimes happens, you have more resources to handle it philosophically. You can assure yourself, “At least I tried.” Giving yourself permission to try and fail can create a feeling of safety that allows you to try again.

I couldn’t sit silent and let the group be bullied into a course of action that would be unproductive. That would have made me feel like a victim. Because I risked going out of my comfort zone and speaking up, my beliefs were altered in a positive way. It gave me the courage to explore other areas and confront my fears.

When you risk, even if it doesn’t work out, it expands your horizons. You learn something valuable that you can use the next time. You’ve empowered yourself to stretch and be a victor. This establishes a pattern that can continue to reveal more of your authentic self.

Affirmation

When I try new things and experiment, I give myself permission to do it badly or fail. What matters is the attempt to move out of my comfort zone. As I risk new directions and activities, the Universe flows more smoothly through me into greater good. I empower myself explore new avenues and experiences. By allowing myself to risk, I open myself to be more authentic.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

The Mask Of Perfection

The Mask Of Perfection

Most people hide away parts of their inner selves to keep them safe. One of the ways we do this is to wear a mask of trying to be perfect. But perfection isn’t authentic. It’s more about conformity and seeking approval. Set yourself free by letting go of the mask of perfection.



Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Reclaim Your Authenticity, Part 2

Reclaim Your Authenticity, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Here are some things you can do to begin to reclaim your authenticity.

1. Stop rejecting yourself.

If someone misinterprets what they see in you, or something you do, there’s generally nothing you can do to erase that misconception. It comes from their filter, the way they perceive the world around them. Even if you make a mistake, accept yourself and realize it’s part of your exploring the possibilities. If necessary, you can make amends.

2. Ask yourself some questions in a new way.

  • “What’s so bad about me?” This isn’t about what people in your childhood thought about you, but as if you were assessing a good friend. Would your characteristics be acceptable in a friend?
  • “What’s so unacceptable about me that I have to keep my inner self hidden away?” What do your supportive, encouraging, positive friends and loved ones say about this? The Universe accepts you as you are now.
  • “What’s the worst that could happen?” You could lose a friend who’s not good for you. Or you could get rejected, which you can now handle as an adult. It won’t destroy you as it would have when you were a child.

3. Reconnect with who you really are.

This doesn’t mean that you attack, explode or demean others. Those reactions are parts of your mask. They’re what you used to protect yourself when you felt inadequate, insecure, anxious or defensive. Allow yourself to be visible and exhibit your talents, abilities, feistiness, insights, silliness, problem solving skills, and opinions.

4. Learn to trust yourself.

With all your experience, wisdom, and knowledge, it’s unlikely you’re going to overstep your bounds. Are you editing yourself too much? Trust the Universe and your subconscious to lead you to the right things to say and do. Practice being more spontaneous in your life.

When you start living authentically, your self-respect increases. As a result, your self-esteem and self-worth rises. Tension and anxiety decrease, because you don’t have to edit every word and judge every action. If there’s any adverse reaction, you have confidence that you can deal with it. When you live from your true self, you have the power and insight to handle anything that comes your way. Since you’re focusing on what’s right about you, the Law of Attraction can draw more good to you.

Asking for what I want doesn’t create overwhelming anxiety in me anymore. My teacher handled the situation like the autocrat she was. I now know that what I asked for was reasonable. Now I’m able to be more assertive and visible. I reclaimed a piece of my authentic self, and you can, too.

Affirmation

I give myself permission to be authentic. I realize that my inner self and self-expression is just fine. When I relax and be myself, I feel safer and more secure. With my accumulated knowledge and wisdom, I can handle anything that comes up in my life. I trust that the Universe and my subconscious mind guide me to the appropriate things to say and do. I now accept myself with all my flaws and good qualities.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Reclaim Your Authenticity, Part 1

Reclaim Your Authenticity, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

When I began 2nd grade, I’d read all the Easy Reader books that interested me in the school library. Shortly after school began, my teacher told the class we’d be allowed to start reading in the Juvenile section once we asked her permission. As soon as that class ended, I went up and asked her, and she said, “No.”

She didn’t explain that she needed to assess my level of reading ability, which I’m guessing was her reasoning. My request was simply rejected and I didn’t know why. Fearing being turned down again, I waited until I was one of the last kids in the class to ask a second time. Because of this experience, I stopped asking for what I wanted or knew I was capable of handling. I hid away a piece of my authenticity for safety.

  •  When you were a kid, did you have your natural rambunctiousness shut down?
  • Did your schoolmates tease you for knowing the answers, being overweight or different?
  • Were you told by grownups to be seen and not heard?
  • Were your parents amused when you splashed water on them one day, then punished you the next for doing the same thing?
  • Did your folks change the rules from day to day?
  • Did you become an over-achiever to get their approval that never came?

Any of these things could have shut down your natural self-expression. You learned it was dangerous to express your authentic self.

The problem wasn’t with you. You were simply being who you were. The issue was with the adults who wanted you to conform to their standards and convenience. This wasn’t part of raising you to be a courteous, compassionate, responsible adult. It was you trying to learn what the grown-ups wanted, even when their expectations changed daily.

In general, people shut you down and tried to confine you for their benefit, not yours. Your natural expression made them uncomfortable, took attention from them, came at a bad time or when they were in a bad mood. They weren’t concerned so much about your well-being as they were interested in their own welfare.

Because of this, you might have grown up feeling like your beingness was “wrong” somehow. That nothing you could do was right. And the more you tried to be perfect, the further you moved away from your true self and the worse you felt. When you did this, you shut off your connection to the Universe. It couldn’t give you the good you deserved because you couldn’t accept it.

Because others rejected you, you rejected yourself in the same way. Now, when you make decisions, do you make them for your well-being or to try to make other people happy? If you try to make everyone happy, you’re doomed to failure and disappointment. It’s time for you to start accepting yourself and realizing that you are fine the way you are.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Change Your Labels And Change Your Life, Part 2

Change Your Labels And Change Your Life, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Ned identified with being “obnoxious.” He hid a sensitive nature under a brash and aggressive act. Even when he could see the advantages of being calmer, he refused to change his ways because he was tied to his label. It provided him with a sense of power, belonging and security. And, because of it, he offended and alienated people he liked.

There’s usually a lot of emotional energy applied when you label yourself. Shame, anger, sadness, fear, insecurity and frustration can all play a role.

If you call yourself a “nervous” person, then whenever your heart jumps will feed into that belief. You might avoid any exciting experiences for fear of the repercussions. Your world will become smaller and you’ll have less opportunity to grow. Instead, to begin to open up to a greater potential, you could simply recognize your increased heart rate as a normal response to an unexpected event.

Labels come from beliefs, attitudes or actions that have been performed over and over until they have become habits. The good news is that those same beliefs, attitudes and behaviors can be changed. Start by recognizing the labels you’ve given yourself. Notice how you feel about them and about changing them.

If you’re really uncomfortable about letting them go, it indicates how invested you are in them. They may have become excuses so you’re not expected to excel or change. You may feel they keep you safe. Reappraise your labels to discern if they’re serving you now, or preventing you from expressing more of who you are.

This is where categorizing can help because you can use it to decide what to do to change. Identify what beliefs, attitudes, actions and behaviors need to be adjusted to eliminate the label. Start with one small change that you can commit to doing. When you get that one accomplished and stable, choose another change and work on it.

By releasing the labels you limit yourself with, you’ll be opening up the possibility for growth and expansion for yourself. Your horizons will be wider, and you’ll feel better about yourself. All you need to do is believe in yourself and your potential.

Affirmation

I know that I’m more than the labels I’ve given myself. They’re only beliefs that I’ve allowed to become habits. The Universe believes so much more about me, and wants to give me greater good than I’ve accepted. I now assess the labels attached to me, and open my mind to understand why they got established. Divine Guidance directs me to the steps I need to change, and helps me to commit to living up to my potential.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved