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This is a wonderful poem by Mahatma Gandhi and one that I try to keep in mind all the time. It shows the progression of what you think eventually becoming what you experience.
Your Beliefs become your Thoughts
Your Thoughts become your Words
Your Words become your Actions
Your Actions become your Habits
Your Habits become your Values
Your Values become your Destiny.
Mahatma Gandhi
Recently, I had a close friend in the hospital in CCU. For a while, it was one step forward and two back. Finally, she’s been released from the hospital and improving. It was a scary time for all of us who care for her. I know that, selfishly, I’m not ready for her to leave. I value her insight and humor, and don’t want to lose that.
When we mourn, we grieve for ourselves, and for what is no longer present for us. It’s like when a friend moves across the country for great new opportunity, a new job, or to get married. We can be happy for them, but sad that they’re not going to be as present in our lives. Sure, we can email, visit, or have phone conversations, but still, the relationship has completely changed.
It was brought home to me, again, to spend time with loved ones, enjoy them, and make sure you let them know what they mean to you. For once they’re gone, either across the country or on the final grand adventure, your opportunity is gone, too.
Question: Can I use affirmations for different issues in the same day?
Answer: I’d suggest that unless the affirmations are for the same issue you not use them the same day. It’s not so much that it would confuse your subconscious as it would overload it if they’re on different issues. Imagine you’re having to work on several different projects at the same time. You’d feel overwhelmed and wouldn’t get any of them done quickly. It would take much more time to get them all done, taking more time than if you’d done each separately.
Earlier this month, Jeff and I attended a luncheon in Phoenix for the Arizona Chapter of the National Speaker’s Association. It was great fun to catch up with some of my friends there, so soon after the national convention. We discussed some of what we’d learned, how we were using that knowledge and projects we were working on. In the photo with me are Gilat Ben-Dor of RenaissanceWineAcademy.com and Richard Victor of 401kSeminar.com.
Jeff and I had an exciting experience as we started that day. After we left home, and before we reached the freeway, the car driving in front of us was weaving all over the two-lane road. It would swerve halfway into the opposite lane, with traffic approaching, and would barely have time to return to our lane before there was an accident. Then it would veer onto the shoulder for awhile. After several miles of this, we called 911 to report the danger. We don’t know the ending, because when we merged onto the freeway, we left the drama behind and took a deep breath of relief.
by Robert Middleton
I’ve spoken about shifting paradigms in this eZine before. These days this is the main thing I’m thinking about – both as it relates to my life and to my marketing and business.
We’re seeing a lot of change these days, but a paradigm shift isn’t just about change. Change is the end result of a paradigm shift. A real paradigm shift is about transformation.
Change is about doing things differently; transformation is about thinking and perceiving differently. Change results in different methods and different technology. Transformation results in different attitudes and different mindsets.
Change rarely leads to transformation, but transformation always leads to change. That is, all real paradigm shifts start with the way we think, what we believe, and our underlying assumptions.
And so it is with marketing our businesses. We think that a paradigm shift in marketing would mean things like the Internet, smart phones, blogging and social media.
And if these changes, these new tools help us grow our business, that’s fine, but it’s no big deal. There will always be new tools that change the way the game is played.
“The more things change, the more they remain the same.”
But transformation happens in the mind and in the heart.
That’s the paradigm shift that really counts. And if you don’t have a paradigm shift or transformation in your marketing, you’ll be caught in the same old struggles as before. Your business will be stagnant and your efforts will yield meager results.
What would this transformation look like?
Something I used to say at the beginning of talks was, “Does anybody here wake up in the morning, excited and enthusiastic about connecting with total strangers about what you have to offer in your business?”
I didn’t get a lot of hands!
But THAT is what transformation would look like.
You’d have no fear, you’d be excited about getting the word out. You’d find the time and you’d take the risks. You wouldn’t be obsessively concerned about being rejected or making mistakes; you’d be fascinated about how to communicate your value in ways that got your prospects’ attention.
This would be a paradigm shift from “dreaded activity” to “exciting adventure.” It would feel like a fun and challenging game, not a distasteful chore.
And with that transformed mindset, you’d find all kinds of ways to do things differently. You’d embrace change, adopt technology, and apply new strategies and techniques. And your marketing would take off in unexpected, exciting directions.
You’d actually apply all those marketing techniques and strategies I’ve been talking about for the past 25 years! There’s nothing really hard about these techniques and strategies. But your mindsets MAKE them hard.
It’s not just one mindset you want to transform. In working with clients over the past few years I’ve identified these FIVE that give us the most trouble:
Fear – perfectionism – scarcity – overwhelm – impatience
And they manifest in these ways and more:
Fear – “I’ll be rejected, I’ll do it wrong, I’ll be ridiculed.”
Perfectionism – “I can’t start until I know exactly what to do.”
Scarcity – “I don’t have enough time or money or skills or…”
Overwhelm – “There’s so much to do, I don’t know where to start.”
Impatience – “I want it now, and I want things to be different.”
Transforming these isn’t that hard. In fact, like everything else, it’s easy if you know how. What would your business, your marketing, your life be like on the other side of these five mindsets?
Copyright 2009 Robert Middleton
All Rights Reserved
By Robert Middleton of Action Plan Marketing. Please visit Robert’s web site at www.actionplan.com for additional marketing articles and resources on marketing for professional service businesses.
Question: Why is it so difficult to forgive oneself? I feel that I have forgiven my parents, friends, lovers, everyone, and I still don’t allow myself off the hook?
Answer: I think it’s so hard to forgive oneself because we’ve accepted the critical judgements of others about ourselves. Someone in childhood, or the past, might have said “shame on you” and we believed them. Also, if we continue to punish ourselves with unforgiveness, it may prevent someone else from criticizing us or abandoning us.
Many people who have a hard time forgiving themselves have also been made to feel responsible for other people’s happiness. They’ve learned to take the blame for whatever happened, to anyone. A client of mine felt responsible if there was an accident outside her building. She felt that somehow she should have been able to prevent it.
I think that the reason a person can forgive others and not themselves is that some part of them knows that the standards they judge themselves by are impossible to live up to. Therefore they can release anger at others who haven’t been able to fulfill that unrealistic code of conduct. But they can’t grant themselves the same compassion.
All unforgiveness is a continual self-punishment because we didn’t live up to someone’s expectations, generally someone else’s. Somehow, a part of us feels that if we don’t forgive ourselves, then we won’t do the “bad” thing again. It’s an unhealthy guilt/shame, and it’s there because we have felt less than worthy most of our lives.
The Science Of Mind: A Philosophy, A Faith, A Way Of Life
by Ernest Holmes
If I were going to be marooned on a desert island, and was given the choice of taking only one book, this is the one I’d choose. It’s a classic in metaphysical literature, and is for those who are ready to take responsibility for the co-creation of their lives. This book teaches you who you are, and your relationship to the Universe. A comprehensive text, it’s packed full of techniques to “change your mind and change your life.”
The writing is simple and clear, but very deep. When I first read it thirty plus years ago, I had to get used to the way Dr. Holmes wrote. There was so much to think about in every paragraph, that I’d have to read a few sentences, put it down to digest them, then pick it up and read on. As a result, it permeated my mind, and changed the way I responded to life.
Last week, I returned from attending the National Speaker’s Association 2009 Convention, held in my neighboring city of Phoenix, AZ. What an amazing experience! I kept saying to people, “Can’t I just live here for awhile?” Not only did I learn an incredible amount, but also I met lots of wonderful new people. I heard Nando Parrado describe his experience of surviving the 1972 plane crash in the Andes. After that, everyone kept saying, “We don’t have anything to complain about.” I also listened to Steve Spangler, who originated the Mentos and Diet Coke experiment. He showed us some of his other experiments, some of which have been featured on the television show “Ellen.” And there was so much more! I came home on an emotional high that is still with me.
“Hidden Power for Human Problems”
by Frederick Bailes
I bought this book some years ago, and don’t let it out of my possession now. The author has identified seven core ideas behind all human problems, and gives directions on how to release them. He explores the premise that any issue we have begins in the mind, with the beliefs we hold. Any difficulty or challenge is simply an effect of our thought patterns. Therefore, if it begins in mind, it can be resolved with the changing of one’s mind.
The first chapter deals with how he healed himself of diabetes, in a time before insulin. In further chapters, he addresses the problems of anger, overweight, anxiety, failure, feeling unloved, and more. He covers some basic metaphysical principles, and gives specific instructions on healing techniques.
Question: How can I learn to concentrate better, so that my mind doesn’t wander?
Answer: Do you have a lot of pressure on you? Have you had a lot of stress? These would cause your mind to wander as a
way of escaping and having a mental vacation. Have you been doing any meditation, exercise, or any sort of stress
reduction techniques? That would be my first recommendation to you.
Secondly, sometimes, the mind gets tired of focusing, and needs some time away from it. Concentrating on one thing for
a long period is exhausting, so if you’ve been doing that, start breaking the periods up.
I’d also suggest you download the instructions on how to do self-hypnosis from my site. Start practicing self-hypnosis, and imagine that you’re somewhere pleasant, such as a vacation spot, where no one can bother you.
This sounds odd, but simply doing meditation or self-hypnosis each day will give your mind a rest, while at the same time, they help to train your mind to concentrate better.
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