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Be True To Yourself, Part 2

Be True To Yourself, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Living up to your values isn’t always easy. Sometimes it can be inconvenient and difficult, such as trying to carve out family time from a busy professional life. But if you try to rationalize and ignore your standards, because it’s expedient in the situation, you’ll create internal strife and tension. When you violate your values, you feel abandoned, because you’ve betrayed your deepest self.

Honoring your values builds empowerment and self-worth. By supporting what you feel is important, you validate yourself and your choices. You feel good about yourself, feeling more whole and complete. By taking action on what you feel is right for you, you build a sense of self-respect. You approve of yourself and your actions.

When you live in alignment with your standards, then you feel worthy of happiness, abundance, joy, and all good. You’re more open to the Universal flow of good. There is less inner resistance to it and you feel more deserving of it. Other people recognize that you’re more in tune with yourself, and are drawn to you. And because you can trust yourself, they’ll be able to trust you. Other people know what to expect from you and will respect you for that.

Learning what your values are helps you to make better decisions. You can ask yourself, “Does this allow me to support my values?” and “Does this violate my values?” Sometimes, the choice to follow your heart can be difficult in the short term. You may have to sacrifice something you want so that you’re in alignment with your deepest self. But the long term rewards for being true to yourself are beyond measure.

Affirmation

I recognize and honor the values that I cherish. When I need to make a choice, I consider what’s important to me. Even if it’s a difficult choice, I realize that it’s worth it. My values are unique to me and I deserve to live in alignment with them. As I’m true to myself, I open to more Universal good of abundance, happiness, and joy.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Be True To Yourself, Part 1

Be True To Yourself, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” When you are true to yourself, you follow certain values that you live your life by.

A moral is “You must be honest,” and are generally dictated by culture, society or religion. But when you’re working on your income tax return, you might feel that you’re entitled to keep the money that you’ve earned. In this case, your value would be that any way to elude the regulations is ok, so that you keep what you believe is rightfully yours. Values are core beliefs that you have accepted or created and they direct your actions and decisions.

Values are also attitudes and behaviors that you’ve consciously decided are important to you. They motivate you to act in constructive ways. They might have been inspired by others, but they are ideas that you have chosen to live by. What they aren’t are ideas that have been imposed on you or you think you should have.

For instance, if you enjoy being an omnivore (eating meat and vegetables), and your friends pressure you into being a vegetarian, that’s not a value that you’ve chosen for yourself. And you’ll probably eventually return to what resonates with you. Some values are created by fear, such as, “Don’t rock the boat,” or “Be invisible.” These are constrictive and don’t allow you to expand into your potential.

A positive core value would be one such as honesty, independence, empathy, order, personal power, risk taking, family time and similar concepts. When you uphold your values and live accordingly, you feel fulfilled and authentic. However, when you aren’t true to yourself, or violate your individual values, you feel anxious and out of sorts. You probably feel guilty because you’ve violated what you cherish.

For instance, if you value honesty, you can’t shoplift or steal from another. For Anabel, honesty was a core value. As a teenager, she accidentally walked out of a store with a candy bar. In a store across the mall, she realized what she’d done. She went directly back to the original store, explained what had happened and paid for it. Rather than taking the easy way out and just keeping the candy, she took action on what she valued. If she hadn’t, she would have violated what she held dear.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

The Spiritual Blame Game

The Spiritual Blame Game

Over the years, I’ve been distressed when a person who has had a trauma, whether physical, financial or health, had their “well meaning” spiritual friends ask, “Why did you attract this?” Unfortunately, this question rarely helps, and just gets in the way of that person healing. They’re already reeling from the crisis, and probably asking themselves that same question.

That comment is simply a new way of blaming the difficulty on the wounded. It used to be that a woman who was raped was held responsible for dressing provocatively or “asking for it.” Now we know that the rapist is simply trying to exert control over another person. The woman was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and happened to somehow trigger the rapist’s fantasy.

When a challenge happens, so much more is going on than anyone knows. Many health issues are triggered or made worse by stress. And there are a lot of stressful occurrences that have happened in our world. Believing that we control all the factors that go into our lives is a simplistic attitude.

No one is perfect, so there’s plenty in our consciousness that could contribute to a cluster of events that result in problems. Jesus said, “He who is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” The same sentiment is true for those who have suffered setbacks. Rather than asking, “What was in your consciousness that attracted this,” a better response would be, “What can you learn from this.”

We don’t have control over the economy or other people. We have control over our response to what happens to us. By accepting what has happened, rather than trying to analyzing why it did, we free up resources to move forward. Instead of resisting the situation, ask how we can take the challenge and derive something beneficial from it. This is a much more kind, healing and empowering way to approach the situation.

Be Willing To Reprioritize When Life Surprises You

Be Willing To Reprioritize When Life Surprises You

It happened to me again this week. I had my agenda all laid out, my goals selected, my action items scheduled. Then I had an unexpected problem raise its ugly head. There was a technical issue that had to be addressed immediately. If the issue wasn’t corrected, one part of my business would grind to a crawl. My original priorities had to be put on hold while I diverted my time and energy to this new issue.

Has this ever happened to you? You have your plans decided on, and something new pops up that needs to be taken care of immediately. It may be a project dropped in your lap at the last minute, a flat tire needing to be changed, or a computer crashing.

When life suddenly changes your priorities, you may wonder what’s happening. You already decided what was most important, but life had other plans. You may feel guilty when your priorities get shoved to the side because something unanticipated takes precedence. “Why didn’t I see this coming?” you may ask.

Your priorities are still important. It’s just that the unwelcome surprise is more immediate. It’s a crisis that needs to be dealt with before you can move forward with your original goals.

When you have something like this happen, be gentle with yourself. Take care of the unforeseen concern. And then re-prioritize the rest of your goals. Decide which is #1, #2, and #3 and so on. And instead of trying to work on them all, start on the first step of #1 and continue until #1 is complete.

This prevents a sense of overwhelm and gives you a feeling of accomplishment. While you cope with the immediate issue, you’re still addressing a priority, being true to your vision. Getting it done may simply take a little longer than you expected.

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 2

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

If you shut yourself down by hiding your light, you block the flow of Universal good to you, as well as reduce the availability of your inner resources and creativity. You’re more concerned with your anxiety than you are with what’s going on with the other person. When you close yourself off, you’ve prejudged how others are going to perceive you. Don’t make their decision for them. Trust in yourself, and you might be surprised at how you’re accepted.

The best thing you can do for yourself, and for everyone else, is to be at ease with yourself and don’t try to hide your light. Be present with the people you’re with, accepting them for who they are. They may not be able to return the acceptance, but that’s their problem. When you let your light out into the world, you build your self-esteem. It shows that you value, or esteem, yourself, your opinions, talents and abilities.

When you are authentic, you encourage people who are timid to be more authentic, too. Marianne Williamson in “A Return to Love” says, “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” When you’re courageous and choose to be yourself, you’re giving others the message that it’s okay to be free, too.

When Grace’s self-esteem grew and she began to stand up to Hallie, the friendship ended. Grace realized that Hallie hadn’t been a friend for a long time. Although sad, Grace was relieved that she no longer had to keep herself hidden away. Allowing yourself to be authentic means that those who can’t accept you will move on to find others they can bully.

It’s safe for you to be authentic now. You’re in a different place in your life, and have accumulated knowledge, wisdom and resources that you didn’t have when you were younger. When you let your light out, you give others the opportunity to appreciate you and you’re more open to be able to appreciate them. You’re also a model for others to be authentic. As you honor yourself in this way, you’re better able to access your creativity. It allows you to be more successful in every area of your life.

Affirmation

I give myself permission to be authentic. In so doing, I open my mind and heart to more Universal good to come to me. I value my opinions, talents and abilities. It’s now safe for me to be myself and I know that I can handle any challenge that comes my way. I accept myself and others and know that I’m good enough.

Read Part 1 of Let The Real You Shine Through.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 1

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

As they were growing up, Grace’s friend Hallie put her down at every opportunity, undermined her successes, and accused Grace of “Feeling she was better than everyone else.” To try to reduce Hallie’s resentment, Grace stopped sharing the goals she achieved and her accomplishments.

In essence, she hid her authenticity to make Hallie feel less threatened. It didn’t work. Hallie could still see Grace’s light, and did her best to extinguish it. Nothing Grace did could have made her friend feel better about herself or eliminate her attacks.

When you’re authentic and let your inner light shine, it’s going to make some people uncomfortable. They’re insecure within themselves and they resent that you aren’t insecure, too. Creative and sensitive people pick up on that and try to deflect or reduce it by minimizing their achievements or becoming invisible.

Understand that nothing that you do, or don’t do, is going to remedy their anxiety. It’s an issue within them that they’ve focused onto you. You’re not responsible for their pain, for healing it, for making them feel comfortable with themselves or with you. There’s no reason for you to cater to their insecurities to try to make them treat you better.

When you close off your light, you do so out of fear. You’re judging yourself by old standards that don’t mean anything anymore. As a result, you condemn yourself and hide to avoid retribution. You’re simply reacting to old messages that have been installed in your mind. Your fear comes from filtering your current situation through outgrown situations from the past.

By not breaking free from your fear, you’re telling yourself that you don’t feel confident in handling the challenges of your life. However, those ideas came from a time and place that’s long gone. You no longer have to abandon yourself to stay safe. Now you can accept your power and authority.

Read Part 2 of Let The Real You Shine Through.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Business Is About Making Life Better

Business Is About Making Life Better

Business isn’t just about the bottom line and making money. It’s about making life better, for everyone: owners, investors, employees, customers and society at large. Business is about people, not inanimate objects. Unfortunately, the prevailing attitude is that everyone is there to serve the business instead of the way it should be, the business serving society.

The business community’s philosophy of considering everyone just a cog on a wheel, whose purpose is to provide them with more money, has cost them. In Northern Arizona, most service and retail businesses refuse to allow their employees federally required lunches or breaks. Because of that, and their cavalier treatment of employees, their staff has no loyalty to them. When a business isn’t loyal to its employees, the employees return the same level of loyalty.

Many businesses drive away their best employees, and don’t invest in them or support them which would let them serve better. The mindset of “bottom lining” is a short sighted idea. It means that business puts on blinders that keep them from seeing other opportunities.

A local restaurant that had good food was sold. The new owners bought cheaper ingredients and the quality and taste of the food suffered. As a result, sales declined and the restaurant closed its doors. When business focuses only on today, and doesn’t take a long view of their future, it constricts the ability of the business to grow.

Finally, businesses are beginning to recognize that the lack of value they provide affects their bottom line. In the article “We Need To Stop Maximizing Profit and Start Maximizing Value” at businessinsider.com, the author addresses this issue.

Since the 1970’s, businesses have been focused on the bottom line. This has increased profits, but the quality of products and services and workers incomes have decreased. That means fewer consumer dollars are spent to grow business. It also means that the business isn’t investing in its own company.

“Maximizing profits” will eventually cause the house of cards to fall. More money is spent to train a revolving door of workers because there’s no reason for them to stick around.

Business needs to create more value for the community, and value its workers, for it to thrive. It’s in a business’ own interest to realize that business is not about products or making money. It’s about people and making life better.

How To Make And Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, Part 2

How To Make And Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

First, as you might do every year, write down all the things that you want to change in your life. But this time, prioritize them. Decide which are the most important, then select one of these to concentrate on. By focusing on one area at a time, you will be able to improve your chances of success.

Once you’ve chosen which area you want to concentrate on, write down all the steps you need to take to fulfill that goal. For instance, suppose Sam decides he wants to get healthy. To do so, he chooses to quit smoking, eliminate caffeine, sugar, and alcohol, to stop partying, get enough sleep every night, lose weight, start exercising, and eat right. He can’t do all of these at the same time, or his subconscious will rebel. Therefore, he decides which facet he wants to tackle first.

Break your goal down into reasonable steps. Don’t try to change the world in one week. As you accomplish one component, move onto the next one. It may actually take a couple of years to achieve your whole list, but in a couple of years you’ll be so much healthier than you are now.

Once you have your first element chosen, you can now decide on what physical actions to take every day. Taking physical action helps to convince the subconscious that you mean business, and shows commitment to the process.

Visualize yourself acting out your objective. As you imagine yourself living your goal, this gives your subconscious mind the direction it needs. It must follow your envisioning. Mentally rehearse each day, identifying with your new ideal, feeling how good it is to have accomplished your aim.

Write a short positive statement in the present tense that embodies your resolution. Use this affirmation in your visualization to reinforce it. Say the declaration aloud one hundred times a day. Print it on index cards and place them where you see them often. This keeps you focused on your goal and begins to impregnate your subconscious with what it is that you want. Trust that your subconscious is making deep level changes, and knows the best way to help you to transform.

By following these directions, you will be able to successfully make and keep your New Year’s resolutions. You have all the power within you to create a wonderful new life for yourself. Don’t be afraid to use it.

Copyright 2001, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

How To Make And Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, Part 1

How To Make And Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

I used to make a list of New Year’s resolutions, such as: lose weight, exercise, organize my desk, eat better, etc., etc., and so forth. However, within a day I’d broken at least half of them. The rest were blown by the end of the week. Since I felt like a failure, I just stopped making them. I figured why should I put myself through the frustration?

It’s too bad, because resolutions are a positive way to improve your life and change old habit patterns. Starting a new year with the intention of establishing a healthier life helps us to wipe the slate clean, to write a better script. We begin with great hopes, only to get sucked back into the familiar rut. Why is it that so many times we fail to attain our list of resolutions?

Think about this. What if your partner brought you a long list of things they wanted you to do immediately? For example, they wanted you to move all the furniture in the house, change the landscaping, paint the house, completely redecorate within a week? You’d groan, crumble and look for the closest hole to hide in. The same is true of your subconscious mind.

Your subconscious mind processes and stores everything you’ve ever seen, done, heard, thought, or experienced. All of this information mixes together to give you the life you now have.

If you resolve to completely recondition yourself within a month, your inner mind falters. “Too much!” it screams, and then proceeds to get you so involved in life that you forget all that silly stuff. An excessive amount of change at any one time overwhelms your subconscious. However, there are some things you can do to maximize your success with New Year’s resolutions.

Copyright 2001, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

The Winding Path Of Change, Part 2

The Winding Path Of Change, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

The reason for this winding path is that the subconscious doesn’t like change. It figures that your old beliefs, attitudes and behaviors have served you well. For your subconscious to establish a different direction, you need to be persistent. When you’re dedicated to making a change, this reassures your inner mind that you consider the new area suitable. Then, your subconscious needs to take its time getting used to the fact that you’re in strange territory, and make sure that it’s safe to be there. Once it’s gotten comfortable, it’ll allow you to cover more unknown ground.

If you change too much, too fast, without this process, you won’t have a firm enough foundation when the winds of stress blow. Stress can overwhelm any new attitude or behavior, and cause you to go back to what’s most familiar. The subconscious will channel its resources to deal with the crisis, rather than direct them to altering your life.

Also, too much change at any time is stressful in itself. In this case, too many adjustments would overwhelm the subconscious and it would sabotage any progress. Even though it may be frustrating, taking a step back to consolidate your gains actually helps you in the long run and supports eventual success.

Each time Becky stepped back into the relationship, she added to her knowledge and wisdom. When she’d move away from it, she integrated more of what she’d learned. Finally, when she realized that he wasn’t ever going to be different, she made the final break.

If she’d left before she’d assimilated all that she’d discovered, she would probably have recreated the same situation in another relationship. Instead, by allowing the natural course to play out, she ascertained which characteristics to avoid in a partner, and what ones to seek.

When you feel like you’re stalled, or have even taken a step back, realize that it’s part of the process of change. It gives you more wisdom, strength, and understanding for when you begin moving forward again. When you retreat and regroup, integrate and consolidate, it means you ultimately advance further and faster.

Affirmation

The Universe wants me to have my desire as much as I want it for myself. I recognize that getting to my goal may take me on a winding path. If I have setbacks, I keep my desire in sight. I learn from each step back I take, and use the knowledge to advance me further along the path. The entire process of change works for my benefit and my eventual success. Perfect action is always taking place as I pursue my desire.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved