“Do I need to know what my fears are, or just change my behavior?”

“Do I need to know what my fears are, or just change my behavior?”

Question: Do I need to know and understand what my fears are and where they came from, or do I just push forward in changing my behavior?

Answer: If you’re someone who needs to know “why,” then you’re probably going to need to find out what prompts you to continue your unwanted behavior. There’s no telling what it could be. Especially since it seems to keep happening. There’s some part of you that’s uncomfortable with changing, or has permission to continue your behavior.

Most issues aren’t simply a problem of behavior. Usually, there’s some emotional component to it. Generally, some uncomfortable emotion urges you to act in unwanted ways to cover over the feeling and avoid it. Or it could be an emotion of joy or reward. There’s all sorts of triggers and associations connected with self-sabotaging actions. That’s why you should probably find out “why” you’re doing it.

I’d also recommend you do some journaling on your issue. You may be surprised what comes up. If you don’t know how to do this valuable technique, check out my article Your Write To Self-Discovery.

Another point that I’ve found. The subconscious is very literal. I’ve found that sometimes when we have a goal, but what we think about is actually a step to that goal, thenwhen we reach it, the subconscious thinks, “Great. We’ve reached that. Now let’s go back and do it again.”

For instance, you want to “lose” 10 pounds. Remember, what we lose, we tend to find again. And since your goal is to lose 10 pounds, rather than stabilize at a certain weight, once you’ve lost that amount, the subconscious thinks you want to do it over again. So you gain it back, to lose it again.

It’s convoluted, but that’s the way the subconscious thinks. Have your goal be the end result, rather than the action you take to get there.

Copyright 2010 Linda Ann Stewart
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