Question: Why is it so hard to accept myself?

Answer: From childhood, you’ve been told that who you are isn’t acceptable to the people around you. You were taught to reject parts of yourself to conform to others’ rules and regulations. “Don’t be so enthusiastic,” “Stop acting like a child,” “Don’t be so serious,” “Don’t ask so many questions,” “Don’t be mad,” “You don’t really feel/think that,” and on and on. You did your best to conform to what the people close to you wanted. If you acted in a way that they didn’t like, you were punished. You accepted their judgement of you, that somehow parts of you were “bad.” Now, when you try to accept yourself, you feel like you’ll be punished, criticized, or rejected. So you correct yourself first, before anyone else can, to try to keep yourself safe.

When I began to accept myself, I felt very threatened, as if my world was going to collapse. But with time, I found that the world I knew transformed into something much better. However, transformation means that some old thought forms must dissolve to make room for new ones. Your attitudes, like the world is a dangerous place, or you have to give pieces of yourself away to be loved, may be dear to your heart, but you must let them go. It’s difficult to do this, because your life has been built around them, but you must to allow new ones to be created. Again, it’s scary to transform them, because you don’t know what will fill their place. But the Universe created you whole. When you accept the wholeness of yourself, the Universe will support you in it.

Copyright 2001, 2009 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

self improvement, self help, personal growth, personal development