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The Kindness Paradox: Give Kindness and Receive Joy

The Kindness Paradox: Give Kindness and Receive Joy

by Linda-Ann Stewart

How do you feel when someone is kind to you? For instance, when a friend sends you a card, gives you a compliment or your spouse does the dishes for you. Don’t you feel uplifted? And how do you feel when you do something nice for someone else? Maybe you do an errand for a friend, call to see how they’re doing, or help a neighbor carry in her groceries. Don’t you feel a sense of satisfaction? And what if you see someone be generous to a stranger? Doesn’t that give you a warm glow and motivate you to do something considerate, too?

When you see, do, or are the recipient of kindness, it releases hormones that cause you to feel good, inspired and happy. It stimulates the reward centers of the brain. Within a few minutes the hormones have stopped flowing, but by remembering the action, you can recreate the joy. Kindness is like a pebble thrown into a pond, with the ripples extending outward and touching places unseen.

The Benefits of Kindness

The paradox of kindness and compassion is the benefits it brings to the one who acts, as well as the recipient. Not only do you impact the person you’re giving to, you’re receiving good feelings in return. Remember what your mother used to say, “It’s better to give than receive”? In this case, you receive far more than you give.

Showing kindness and compassion to others bestows the following on you:

  • You’re more attractive to others, personally and professionally.
  • People like and trust you more.
  • You’re more creative.
  • Your self-esteem and self-worth increases.
  • Your optimism and positive thinking grows.
  • You feel calmer and happier.
  • Your stress, pain, anxiety, depression and blood pressure reduces.

Kindness Can Be Challenging

Sometimes being kind can be challenging. There are people who irritate you and you may want to lash out at them. But you don’t know what has happened in their life that has caused them to be annoying. These are times when being altruistic and compassionate can have the best results. You may just change someone’s life, in addition to your own.  

For instance, consider being kind in the following conditions:

  • Smile and compliment the grouchy clerk. They might have had a bad day full of grumpy customers and it’s rubbed off on them.
  • Let the aggressive driver into the lane in front of you. They may be running late to an important appointment that could be vital to their well being.
  • Don’t complain when the elderly gentleman cuts ahead of you in line at the grocery store.  He may have mild dementia and not have even noticed you were there.

In difficult situations, consider what the other person might be dealing with that’s caused them to be rude. You’re not kind just for them. You do it for you, because it’s better for your health, mentally, physically and emotionally.

Focus on Kindness

The more you focus on being kind, the more you want to be kind. And the kinder you are, the more you’ll grow that area of your brain. Pure altruism brings you all the rewards mentioned and more. As you’re being kind to others, don’t forget to be kind and compassionate towards yourself. You deserve to be treated well, too, by yourself and others.

In the Christmas season, we focus on peace and goodwill towards others. Why can’t we have this spirit all year long? Think of the life we’d all have. It begins with each one of us being kind, on a daily basis. It’s a very simple mindset that takes on a joyful life of its own.

AFFIRMATION:

Whenever I have a choice of how to respond to a situation, I choose kindness. Kindness allows the spirit of the Universe to flow through me, blessing my life and the life I impact. I cultivate a generous spirit and compassionate attitude towards myself and others. I generate peace and goodwill towards all people, every day of the year.

Watch the accompanying video, Guided Meditation for Kindness.

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Trending Articles of the Week

Trending Articles of the Week

How to Break Free From Negative Thinking for Good

Negative thinking is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we think we’re not good enough, then we sabotage ourselves. But you’re in charge of your thoughts, and when you change them, you can improve your life. Learn where negative thinking comes from and how to break the cycle.

How Positive Thinking Impacts Your Stress Level

It can be a challenge to look on the bright side when things aren’t going well. But if you train yourself to do so, and you can, it improves your self-concept, well being and outlook. Learn how your perception affects your attitude and how you can turn yourself into an optimist.

How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain

New research is starting to explore how gratitude works to improve mental health. People who count their blessings are happier and have better mental health. Gratitude shifts the focus from what’s wrong to what’s right in your life. This article explores some of the research of a specific exercise and its beneficial outcomes.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

How to Stay Mindfully Focused

How to Stay Mindfully Focused

It’s hard to stay focused and not get distracted in our frantic, fast-paced lives. But focus is the best way to achieve your goals and be productive. Focus is one of the most important skills a person can develop. Learn a simple technique to learn how to be more focused and get more done, more easily.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. In our frantic day-to-day lives, it’s hard to stay focused, isn’t it? We’re pulled in so many different directions. But being able to focus on a task or project is the way to get it done and done well. I’d like to share a simple technique for you to be able to hone your attention, to be more single-minded, and get more done, more easily. Wouldn’t that be great?

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision strategist. The technique I’m going to share with you combines a couple of tactics. One is deep breathing, and the other is self-talk. Either of which is good to help calm you down and get focused. But together, they are an unbeatable combination.

Using this technique allows you to pay attention to what you want to pay attention to, to what’s important and not what’s trying to distract you. When you take care of what’s important first, you can deal with other things later.

When you want to focus on a task, first take three long, slow, deep breaths. This calms your brain and nervous system so you can focus. It also allows you to take a mental step back to make a decision on what to do next. Rather than being pushed by events, you can make a choice of what to do next. It’s the difference between reacting and responding. When you respond, you’re reclaiming your power over your actions. 

Next, engage in talking to yourself to keep yourself focused. Just saying things like, “Focus” or “concentrate” or “stick with it,” will rein in your thoughts to stay on task. You could also talk to yourself as if you’re a third person, like, “Linda-Ann, continue working on this for the next half-hour.” When you say your name, it catches your attention, doesn’t it? And you’re more likely to follow your own directions.

When you stay mindfully focused you’ll find yourself being more productive and efficient, while increasing your peace of mind. As a side benefit, you’ll also be training yourself to be more focused, so the more you practice, the better at it you’ll become. You’ll be developing a vital skill that you can use for the rest of your life, in all areas of your life.

If you’d to achieve a 90-day goal more easily, download my free comprehensive Strategic Vision guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com. You’ll receive the guide, as well as a training video that walks you through it with tips and directions to support you in you in accomplishing your goal.

Thank you for watching. How can you use this technique of deep breathing and self-talk today? Take care.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

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Trending Articles of the Week

Why willpower is overrated

Self-control, and all the benefits from it, may not be related to inhibiting impulses at all. People who exhibit more self-control may be structuring their environment so that there are fewer temptations. They also reframe temptations so they’re easier to dismiss. Learn more about how to train yourself to have more self-control, achieve your goals and have a better life.

11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used to gain power over other people. And it works all too well. It’s done slowly, over time, so that the victim doesn’t recognize that they’re being brainwashed. They begin to question their own reality. This article details how gaslighters use various techniques so that you can identify them and not fall into the gaslighters trap.

How to Use Positive Affirmations for Stress Relief

Positive affirmations are an effective way to reprogram your subconscious mind and align your beliefs with what you want in life. Affirmations can relieve stress, improve your self-image, increase motivation and keep you on course to your goals. This article highlights guidelines to creating and using your own positive self-talk statements to create the life you want.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Be Mindful of Your Vision

Be Mindful of Your Vision

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Being mindful and having a vision may seem contradictory. Your vision is all about the future, where you’re going and your destination. Mindfulness teaches you to stay in the present moment, without concern about the past or future. It sounds like vision and mindfulness are in opposition, doesn’t it? But they actually have a lot in common to help you be successful and achieve your goals in life.

For instance, your vision, although you keep it in view, necessitates you to have a plan and take steps to reach your destination. With your vision, the Law of Attraction knows what to draw to you. Mindfulness involves being intentional, focusing on one task at a time. Once you’ve completed that item, you focus on the next goal. In this way, you stay on course to your objective. Being mindful also opens a clearer channel to the Universe.

Vision and Mindfulness Are Complementary

That’s where vision and mindfulness intersect. When you’re mindful about your vision, you focus on one step at a time, accomplishing it, then moving onto the next one. Each action builds on the one before and puts you in flow with the Universe. You know where you’re going (your vision), but your attention is on your current activity (mindfulness). By mindfully working through your plan, you’ll reach your vision with the Universe supporting your endeavors.

Being mindful of your vision can be challenging, as life is full of pitfalls and distractions. Only by navigating through challenges, and staying intentional and focused, can you be successful. Here are some suggestions to help you stay mindful and focused on your path, so you don’t get lost in the weeds. This makes it easier for the Law of Attraction to know what it is you want.

Execute your plan. You can’t just develop a plan and then ignore it. To stay on course, create mini-steps so you take one each day. With a plan, the Law of Attraction knows what to provide you to fulfill your goals. The habit of taking action will propel you along so that you then take bigger and bigger steps.

Be present. It’s easy to get lost in the future of what could be, or the past of what could have been. Instead of trying to leap forward, or berating yourself for what you didn’t do, ask yourself, “What can I do right now?” Pay attention to what you can control now. Those actions add up.

Don’t multitask. This is the very opposite of being mindful. You’re trying to do several things at one time, and this results in not doing any of them well. It gives you a false sense of accomplishment, but when you look back, you realize you haven’t really made any progress. Multitasking dilutes your energy and confuses the Law of Attraction. Take one task, complete it, and only then move on to the next.

Take a mental step back. When faced with the temptation to detour, stop and think about it. Be present with what’s going on. Why are you being distracted? Are you bored or uncertain about your next step? Mentally think it through and decide if that distraction or procrastination is worth taking the detour.

Talk yourself through temptation. If you aren’t paying attention to what you want in the moment, your environment is going to grab your attention. This is when distractions and interruptions pull you off course. After you’ve decided you don’t want to take that detour, keep yourself on course by being your own cheerleader. Tell yourself something like, “Stay the course,” “One thing at a time,” “I’ll take care of that detail later.”

Shift your attention to the positive. Sometimes your mental meandering will take you into the undesirable realm of negative thoughts. You doubt yourself, get upset at something not going your way, or become frustrated at not making progress as fast as you’d like. This blocks the flow of Universal energy. Again, take a step back and ask yourself, “Is it worth it to dwell on these ideas?” “Will this move me forward?” or “How much will this matter in a month?” Then shift your attention to something beneficial and productive. Acknowledge something that you’ve accomplished to change your energy.

In the best of times, mindfulness and vision complement each other. They make each other stronger and improve your success in every area of your life. Mindfulness connects you with the Universal flow and your vision gives the Law of Attraction instruction. As you keep your vision in view, and practice being mindful in your daily life, you’ll make the progress you seek.

Affirmation

The Universe wants the best for me. I develop a vision of what I want, and Universal energy and the Law of Attraction help me to fulfill it. As I am mindful about my steps, I remain on course, and stay in the flow of the Universe.

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Book Review-Tongue Fu!

Book Review-Tongue Fu!

Tongue Fu! How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict
by Sam Horn

This is a wonderful book about conflict resolution and how to deal with the average person in a confrontational situation. I love the way Sam Horn writes. She breaks it down into readily understood bites, with lots of examples and more than a bit of humor.

Our society has become so fast paced and stressed, that cordiality and politeness has gotten lost. And, as the old saying goes, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” By being patient, empathetic, and compassionate, we can get more done with more cooperation and goodwill.

The instructions in this book are basics for civil human communication.  Many of the suggestions are beneficial for those who are interested in being more gentle and spiritual in their everyday life. Some of her ideas are very simple, but very powerful to smooth over some of the bumps of human contact. It’s a very empowering book, teaching how the reader how to stand up for their rights while not tromping on the rights of others.

As I said before, this is for conflicts with the average person. In some situations, the ideas in this book fall short and may actually inflame the attacker. When that may be the case, I highly recommend her other book Take The Bully By The Horns.

Whether used in the business or personal life, “Tongue Fu!” is a necessary resource to learn how to be more responsive and get more accomplished with grace.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“A positive attitude is like a fire. Unless you continue to add fuel, it goes out.” – Alexander Lockhart

You can’t remain positive in a void. If you try to coast on your attitude, it will falter. In the face of our negative world, you need to read encouraging literature, be around uplifting people, and minimize your exposure to negative news. It’s too easy to be dragged down by the worlds (and other people’s) pessimistic perspectives. Keep feeding your optimism, in any way you can.   

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Trending Articles of the Week

Trending Articles of the Week

10 Ways to Be More Mindful at Work

Mindfulness can be difficult in the middle of the hustle and bustle of life. Time is always at a premium. But you don’t need to meditate every day to experience the benefits of mindfulness at work. Here are a few ways you can inject mindful moments into your day so you can de-stress and do your best.

5 Reasons that Daily Brain Breaks Are Important

Daily brain breaks are key for mental and emotional health. Giving your mind a rest throughout the day allows it to recharge, stay focused and positive. Included with the reasons you need to give your mind a break during the day are ways to do so.

How to Disarm Internal Triggers of Distractions

Everyone has uncomfortable emotions or undesirable habits they want to change. Fortunately, you can develop new methods to cope with those issues and improve your life. Use this 4-step method to handle unwanted thoughts that can derail your focus.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Some people vilify the subconscious, comparing it to the devil, because they feel it brings only bad things to them. What they don’t realize is that it’s also allowed all the good experiences that they’ve had. The subconscious only brings into their lives what they’ve programmed it to do by directed thoughts or the average of their ideas. The subconscious can’t initiate anything. It can only do what you tell it to do. So if you have something in your life that you don’t want, it’s because somehow you’ve conditioned your subconscious to create it. The good news is that you can change that thought. The bad news is that it takes determination, consistency and persistence to do so. But it can be done.  

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

How to Achieve Your Goal More Easily

How to Achieve Your Goal More Easily

The one thing you have control over in your life is what you think about. A positive mindset is vital for you to fulfill your goals. But beyond that is how to get your subconscious mind to help you in your pursuit of successfully achieve your goals and vision. Learn a tactic that works with your subconscious mind’s natural tendency to help you.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. I’d like to share a tip to help you achieve your goals more easily, even when life seems chaotic. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision strategist, helping business women align their heart with their vision and program their life for success.

Sometimes, I know it feels like your mind is like a runaway train, and you’re at the mercy of your thoughts. But that’s not true. In the book, “A Search for Meaning,” psychiatrist and neurologist Viktor Frankl explored his experience as a WWII concentration camp survivor.

One of the insights he arrived at during his incarceration was that he might not be able to control his surroundings, but he was in charge of his mind. He had the freedom of choice of what to think about. If he can choose what to think in that tragic situation, you can choose your thoughts, as well.

So why would you want to think more positively when life seems to be falling apart? Because the way you think about a situation or condition affects how you behave and the decisions you make. Your attitude towards a challenge either opens up innovation and creativity for you to find a solution or it closes your resources down and boxes you in.

When you seek answers and a positive result, your subconscious mind will look for opportunities to help you. After mulling over a problem, haven’t you ever had the answer come to you out of the blue? That’s your subconscious mind helping you.

My tip for you is two-fold and is going to sound airy-fairy, but it’s not. This is to help you prime your subconscious mind to work for you. The first part is to imagine what your best outcome could be. What is your best case scenario? Just think that through. That gives your subconscious mind a model to follow. You’re letting it know what you want.

The second part is to ask a question. Your subconscious mind is a problem solver. That’s its role. And it doesn’t like unanswered questions. Ask something like, “How could this come about the easiest way possible?” or “What do I need to do next?” Something like that.

Do not try to answer the question consciously, or guess how it could happen. If you do, you’ll interfere with your subconscious mind’s work. When faced with a question, your subconscious mind must find an answer.

Then stay open to ideas and insights that flash into your conscious awareness, even if they may seem unlikely. The point is to stay open. What you’ll find is that one of those ideas will take you on the next step to your goal.

If you’d to achieve a 90-day goal more easily, download my free comprehensive Strategic Vision guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com. You’ll receive the guide, as well as a training video  that walks you through it with tips and directions to support you in you in accomplishing your goal.

Thank you for watching. What questions are you going to ask your subconscious mind to help you fulfill your goal? Take care.

Read the accompanying article, Live in Expectancy of the Best.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart