procrastinate – Empowering Your Mind

The Perfectionist’s Curse

September 20, 2023 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.” Michael J. Fox

Do you ever avoid going out of the house with a hair out of place or in wrinkled clothes? Are you afraid to turn in a project, because of you feel it’s not good enough? I knew an artist who started an oil painting of dried leaves and a decomposing stump. She spent days painting every leaf in great detail, so detailed that a person looking at it thought they were real. But she spent so much time on the details that she eventually moved on to another project and never finished the painting.

I’ve never met a happy perfectionist. Most of them are anxious, unhappy people, who have low self-esteem, and are trying to meet some impossible, ideal standard. Generally, the syndrome comes from a childhood with parents, caregivers or teachers who never approved of anything these folk did.

Wanting Acknowledgement

In elementary school, when I would make a perfect grade on a test, my father would ask “Why didn’t you make a 200%?” In fifth grade, we had a pop quiz, on which I made a 100%, and then the teacher had us take a similar one, on which I also made a perfect grade. When my father came home, I was waiting for him.

“I made a 100% today,” I said.

“Why didn’t you make a 200%?” he asked, as usual.

I laughed and said, “I did,” and showed him the papers. He never asked me that particular question again.

Fortunately for me, my father did give me approval and acceptance. But for many people who are perfectionists, they’ve never received that from their parents. As children, they tried to do everything right to gain some acknowledgement and never did. What they didn’t realize was that it wouldn’t have mattered how perfect they were, their parents couldn’t approve of their achievements because of the parents’ emotional baggage. When the child grew up into adulthood, they continued the attempt to be perfect to avoid rejection. It didn’t work in childhood, even though to the childish mind it appeared to give them some control over the situation. As an adult, it only causes misery.

The Basis of Perfectionism

There is a difference between being a perfectionist and being precise. A perfectionist isn’t motivated by trying to be accurate or to do their best. They’re actually living out of fear, trying to avoid making a mistake so that they aren’t rejected or criticized. Being precise is important in many careers, and in many aspects of our lives. Accuracy is valuable in mixing chemicals, recipes, statistics, etc., because an error in any of these could cost dearly. But the difference between being a perfectionist and being precise is that the former takes over a person’s whole being, while the latter is specific as to time and place.

Perfectionism can keep a person immobilized. An individual can be so afraid of making a move that they won’t do anything, for fear that their decision could be the wrong one. A project may be finished, but they revise it over and over, trying to get it just right. The point they miss is that there are any number of right ways to complete the project. And continuing to work on it may mean they turn it in late.

Perfection and Procrastination

Another side effect of perfectionism can be procrastination. As in the example just given, if a person keeps re-working a project until it’s late, they may not be faulted for it “not being their best work.” In other cases, an individual may postpone making decisions or taking action so they won’t be condemned. Then they’re criticized for never doing anything.

All of this comes from trying to live up to some artificial, unrealistic standard that was imposed on them in childhood. And instead of a positive principle they aspire to, they actually live in fear of not measuring up to it. So much energy is wasted in fear that they can never actually live up to their potential. And very likely, due to the fear of condemnation, a person won’t risk suggesting new ideas or new methods in their careers or personal life, preferring to stick with what has been accepted in the past.

Update Your Beliefs

If you’re a perfectionist, realize that it’s a response to an environment that no longer exists. With your current knowledge, review the dynamics of your childhood relationships with your caregivers. Would you ever have gotten their approval, or were they imposing unrealistic expectations on you? For instance, expecting a four-year-old to act like an adult is irrational.

Experiment with not doing things perfectly; like leaving dishes in the sink for a few hours, don’t straighten pictures, and go for a walk without dressing specifically for it. Whenever you feel anxious that you may not be doing something perfectly, remind yourself that nothing is ever perfect. Do your best, be accurate, be precise, but don’t try to be perfect. Then move on. In so doing, you’ll begin to reclaim your life, your power and your peace of mind.

Affirmation:

I give myself permission not to be perfect. Assessing my past, I recognize that perfection wouldn’t have brought me the acknowledgement that I craved. Perfection won’t bring me any greater acceptance or approval in the present. I am, and have always been, a valuable person. I do my best, I aspire to be accurate and precise, but I let go of any false belief that I have to be perfect to be accepted. The Universe accepts and approves of me, as I am, therefore I do the same.

What’s Your Priority?

November 30, 2022 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Railroad tracks that split in two directions

When you start to work on a project, have you ever have something else come up that needed your attention? It dragged you away from your priority, while you dealt with the more immediate concern. Did this develop into a pattern for you, so that every time you began to shift your attention to your project, another distraction would arise?

If so, it’s an unconscious tactic to resist moving forward with your vision. You may have an unknown block to creating your goal. Or you could be concerned about leaving your comfort zone. Your subconscious is simply giving you the means to stay where you are.

Resisting Your Priority

Your priority is whatever goal or vision you’re currently working on, and the steps that can bring it into reality. This could be making your business a success, improving your health, or cleaning out the garage. It needs to be attended to before you deal with anything else. And your priority takes precedence over anyone else’s demands on you.

Resistance can take many aspects. You can recognize it if you’re procrastinating some action having to do with your goal. Washing the dishes first could be an excuse to avoid dealing with your priority. If you want to reduce weight, and decide to have that slice of pie at a party, then you’re giving in to the part of you that doesn’t want that slim figure. Or you could just keep postponing diving into a project that needs to be done. All of these are subconscious devices to keep you where it feels familiar.

The Cost of Distractions

It’s also easy for life to distract you from what’s significant. So many other things demand your attention when you’re trying to fulfill your priorities. Answering email, washing the dog, a friend calling you in distress can all be excuses not to put your needs first. Whatever you pay attention to, even if it’s something that’s been thrust on you, becomes your priority for that moment. You have to consciously make a choice of what is most vital to you.

When other things clamor for your attention, and you focus on them and ignore your goal, you’re giving your subconscious the direction to continue to keep you off track. Unless you take action on your goal first, your subconscious will continue to divert you. It follows your direction. When you let yourself be distracted, it takes the message that you want it to continue to undermine your goal.

The Difference Between Immediate and Urgent

You have to determine what needs your attention now, and what can wait for a few hours. It’s hard not to confuse the immediate from the urgent. An email that needs to be answered today means that it can be responded to later. It can be put off until after you spend time on your goal.

If you have something that’s urgent, it needs to be addressed before you work on your goal. For instance, a computer crash prevents you from doing your work. The computer has to be fixed before anything can be done in the area of your business. A crisis can deter you for a short time. But when it’s over, get refocused and back on course.

Suppose your goal is to eat healthier and avoid sugar. When you have dinner at your mom’s, your priority is to pick the foods that fit your plan. Even if she’s upset when you don’t have a piece of her chocolate cake, choose to stick to your goal. Your seeking health trumps her being offended. Besides, shouldn’t she support your goal to be healthier?

If you want to establish a spiritual practice, you have to set aside time to meditate and read. When you allow other concerns to impede your practice, you establish that they’re more crucial than your spiritual growth. When you stand firm in your goal, you communicate to the Universe that you recognize the value of your inner life.

Resolving Resistance

When you have a goal, you have to create the plan to achieve it. You’ll develop steps, and then prioritize them, figuring out what comes first, then second and so on. Each day, make your vision your priority and take some action towards it. Only by doing so will you undo the resistance that has been trying to sabotage your plans.

Distractions will diminish, and you’ll handle them better, because your subconscious will get the message that you intend to fulfill your desire. As you make your vision a priority, you’ll be creating the habit of attending to it a step at a time. Step by step, you’ll get to your goal, and your vision will become a reality.

Affirmation:

I now prioritize myself and my vision. No one can stop me but me. What I want is important, and I set my intention to follow through on it. I push through my resistance, in whatever form it takes. Every day, I take positive action in the direction of my goal. As I do, I establish the habit of supporting myself and my priorities.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity..To achieve
your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

3 Tips to Overcome Procrastination

July 18, 2022 Linda-Ann Stewart

Procrastination is an insidious habit that can undermine your goals, erode your self-confidence and self-respect. But procrastination can be overcome, especially if you take it a bit at a time. Here are 3 tips on how to confront this habit and break through so procrastination no longer holds you back.

Transcript:

Everyone procrastinates from time to time, right? You have a distasteful task or chore you don’t want to do or don’t know exactly how to tackle, so you put it off. Now, if you just postpone taking action for a short time, and then you take care of the task, you don’t have a problem.

But if procrastination has developed into a habit, it can severely impact your life. This habit can undermine any goal you might have, and wear away your self-confidence and self-respect.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision empowerment strategist, and I’d like to share 3 tips on how to confront procrastination and overcome it.

Go through your mail immediately. Don’t let it pile up. This sounds silly and simplistic, but by starting small, with mail, it will build up your discipline to handle bigger tasks.

I used to have a pile of mail on my table that I hadn’t made decisions on. Finally, after I’d whittled down the pile, I trained myself to decide what to do with each piece of mail as it came in. I decided to either file the piece, handle it, or throw it away.

When you practice this and it has become natural, move on to larger issues, such as balancing your checkbook.

There’s an app for that. Of course, there are apps to help you deal with procrastination. Some help you take action on your to do lists, or block distractions, help you stay focused while you’re working, make you aware of your excuses, or whatever you need. Do an internet search and start exploring to find an app that will work for you.

Find an accountability partner. Yes, you could use an app, but there’s nothing like a real live person to keep you committed to a course of action. This could be a friend, coworker or colleague who you tell what you plan to accomplish and by when. You check in with this person regularly, bringing them up to date on your progress.

I belong to a mastermind group. When I tell them my intention, and our next meeting is approaching, I make sure I’ve accomplished something.

If you’re having trouble with procrastination, there are many ways to begin to break this pervasive habit. You don’t have to do it all at once. Start with one small action, keep it up until you get comfortable with that action, and then add another tactic. This way, you’ll chip away at the habit until it no longer holds you back.

To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, watch my FREE training video, Set Your Course to Success. Register for the video and accompanying action planning guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com

Thank you for watching. You can break the habit of procrastination. Stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, Read the accompanying article, 4 Ways to Overcome Procrastination.

4 Ways to Overcome Procrastination

July 16, 2022 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

It’s the night before a project is due, and you haven’t even started on it. Now, you’re going to have to stay up most of the night to get it done. You make the excuse that you always do your best work under pressure. But really, is that true? Wouldn’t you have done a better job if you’d put the project together earlier, when you were well rested and then fleshed it out? And now, you’ll have a sleepless night and be tired when you turn in the project.

Procrastination is a major cause of stress and anxiety, and lowers the standard of your work. You may miss deadlines and, as a result, undermine others’ respect of you. In addition, this habit reduces your productivity, effectiveness and can cost you money. The chore you’re trying to ignore is always in the back of your mind, taking up emotional and spiritual energy. If you’re like most people, you probably feel guilty and beat yourself up when you avoid a task.

Reasons Why You Procrastinate

Most of us procrastinate to some degree or other, but there are some to whom this is a destructive and chronic habit. To address the issue, you must become aware that it exists, and why it’s a problem for you. The following are some reasons you may be procrastinating.

Resistance. It’s not a task you want to do, so you put it off until the last minute. Because the chore is boring or time consuming, you resent that you must complete it.

Perfectionism. You wait to gather as much information as you can, and hope to find the inspiration to put it all together. But because you never get everything you hope for, you delay starting the task until the deadline looms.

Fear. You’re not sure how to proceed or to get it done. You don’t believe you have the knowledge or skills to do it effectively.

Overwhelm. It’s a huge task, and you don’t know how to get started, or the scope of the issue is overwhelming you.

Disorganized. You don’t have all your notes or details together. Or maybe, you’re often interrupted so you don’t have time to pull everything together.

Uncertain. You don’t know what to do, so you put off making any decisions or taking any action until you have no other choice.

Ways to Overcome Procrastination

Procrastination is a choice. You decide to put something off, something that’s unpleasant, so you focus on something less important, and easier. Once you recognize your issue, you can find solutions.

Break the chore into smaller pieces. Outline what you must do to get the project done. Make sure each item on the list is bite-sized and easy to manage. Being able to handle small pieces will lower your stress and anxiety.

Schedule the chores. Put each small task on your calendar and make sure to keep your appointment with yourself. Each time you can mark one task done, you’ll get a surge of good feelings because the reward center of your brain is triggered. This gives you motivation to keep your next appointment.

Prioritize your lists. If you have a to-do list (as most of us do), prioritize the items and schedule them in accordance with their importance. Again, as you accomplish them, your brain receives a reward and you have a stronger incentive to repeat your action.

Dedicate 5-minutes. If you really feel overwhelmed or resistant, set aside just five minutes to work on your chore. It’s easier to dip your toe into the pool than to dive in head first. This will allow you to chip away at the tasks, and feel productive. If five minutes becomes easy, extend it to ten or fifteen.

Procrastination is a habit that developed in your life over time. The habit won’t be overcome in a day or a week. It took time to create it, and it will take time to break it. Breaking it takes time, dedication, consistency and focus. When you realize that you have the choice to procrastinate or take action, then you’re empowered to choose what’s in your best interest.

Affirmation:

At every moment, I’m Divinely guided with every step I take. As I take a step, the Universe ensures the next one appears. The Universe provides me with everything I need to complete my tasks. I am confident, inspired, uplifted and empowered to take action and fulfill my goals.

Watch the accompanying video, 3 Tips to Overcome Procrastination.

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Lessons from Resisting Change

July 22, 2020 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Resistance to change is a normal part of being human. It’s natural, even if what you’re resisting is the very thing you need to do for your progress, health and happiness. Most people don’t like their status quo disrupted or to be forced out of their comfort zone. But change is the order of the universe, and resisting it just brings frustration and suffering. The Universe is trying to move you forward, while you’re holding yourself back.

There’s a saying that, “What you resist, persists.” This means that the energy that you’re putting into resisting makes the undesired change become stronger. It’s like a tug-o-war. You’re putting all your attention into not being pulled from your spot, which means you aren’t thinking of alternatives. What if you let go of the rope, and started considering how to turn the situation to your advantage? This allows you to get into the flow of the Universe, rather than trying to block it.

Learn from Your Resistance

You resist whenever you procrastinate, use busy work to avoid doing something else, are confused, or refuse to commit to a decision. Generally, resistance is fear based. You’re afraid of the loss, unknown, discomfort, or difficulty that you think change will bring. But when you resist moving forward, you close down opportunities and possibilities. Also, the Law of Attraction can’t be creative and bring you your desires.

There are lessons to be learned from resistance. The way you resist shows how you sabotage yourself and hold yourself back. If you recognize how you do that, you can then address those issues. This allows you to make the transition easier from where you are to where you want to be. It opens the channels for Universal good to flow to you.

Ways You Resist

1. You’re rebelling. When you’re forced to do something you don’t really want to, even if it’s in your best interests, resistance becomes rebellion. You think that rebelling puts you in control, but the opposite is true. If you’re rebelling, you’re handing over control to the opposition.

For instance, many smokers use cigarettes as a way to rebel, and resist quitting for that reason. This is true even when they know smoking is hurting them. One way to turn that attitude around is to rebel against cigarettes, which will turn the negative habit of smoking into a healthy behavior. Using that idea, how could you use your rebellion for your benefit?

2. Most people dislike being told what they “should” do. Or they feel guilty when they don’t live according to what they think they “ought to” do. Generally, instead of being compliant, they avoid those injunctions, even if it’s what they want for themselves.

For instance, you know you “should” exercise for your health. You whip yourself for not doing so, but it’s easier to just sit on the couch. Or you know eating less sugar is better for you, but it’s much more satisfying to indulge. You may feel guilty about your behavior, but you still repeat the negative activity. Instead of “shoulding” on yourself, focus on the benefits you’d receive by taking the action you’ve been ignoring.

3. Denial can be a coping strategy when there’s been a significant loss. It gives you time to absorb and process what’s happened, prior to adjusting to the change. But if you use this strategy in your everyday life, it will sabotage you at every level. You resent what’s necessary, and pretend that it doesn’t matter. But when you ignore a necessary step or action, it blocks what you’re trying to accomplish.

For instance, if you want to lose weight, but reject that you need to eat less. No matter what you do, you’ll not be able to achieve your ideal weight. A business person who thinks they can keep all the details of dozens of orders their orders in their head will have a hard time meeting deadlines and being successful. Before you can move forward, you have to accept reality and what is necessary. Instead of being dismissive, shift your attitude to it being your choice to take your next steps.

How do you normally resist moving forward? Learn this and it will give you important information so you know when life is pushing you to change and when you’re combating change. When you encounter resistance, dig into your motivation and focus on what you really want. When you shift your attention from resisting change to embracing the benefits it will bring, you’ll be able to adjust your course and make progress.

Affirmation:

The Universe wants the best for me. I’m willing to make whatever changes are necessary to open up to greater joy, health and abundance. I recognize when I’m resisting my good, and choose a better course. I’m Divinely guided to make the wisest decisions for my highest good.

Watch the complementary video, Meditation to Learn from Your Resistance to Change.

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Empowering Your Mind

Mindset, Motivation and Empowerment

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Tag: procrastinate

The Perfectionist’s Curse

September 20, 2023 Linda-Ann Stewart

What’s Your Priority?

November 30, 2022 Linda-Ann Stewart

3 Tips to Overcome Procrastination

July 18, 2022 Linda-Ann Stewart

4 Ways to Overcome Procrastination

July 16, 2022 Linda-Ann Stewart

Lessons from Resisting Change

July 22, 2020 Linda-Ann Stewart