What does success mean to your subconscious mind? It may not be what it means to your conscious mind. Sometimes, if you have an old concept of feeling ineffective, the subconscious will consider it a success if you reinforce that old idea. Your subconscious seeks to reinforce your old self-image, making it “right.” So what is your self-image concerning success? Do you need to update it?
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
Question: How can empathy make people overlook the consequences of the actions of another person?
Answer: When we’re empathetic, we feel another’s pain. Because it hurts us, we want to fix it (their pain) and make it go away so it stops hurting us. Many times, this means that we excuse an offender, let them get away with inappropriate behavior, so that they feel better/feel better about themselves (so we think), and our pain eases. The problem with that is that they don’t learn from their mistake. We take away the motivation for them to learn from it, by excusing them. In so doing, we make ourselves part of the problem.
It’s not easy to let someone take the consequences of their actions, when we’re sensing their inner pain. But the only way many people learn is to be in enough pain to finally decide to change. In 12-Step programs, this is called “hitting bottom.” Sometimes, an intervention can help to make the alcohol/drug abuser uncomfortable enough to accept help. But during an intervention, the consequences of not accepting help have to be severe enough, and decided enough, to make them realize that they’re not going to be allowed to continue taking advantage of others.
When do we nurture and when do we let them fall flat on their face? If it’s a pattern of behavior, I think it would be time to allow them to experience some consequences. Unfortunately, most people only learn to treat others well by experiencing some discomfort for their behavior.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
by Linda-Ann Stewart
In my hypnotherapy practice, when I worked with smokers to help them quit, I told them that if they’re having a hard time giving it up, it’s because for years they’ve told themselves that “I can’t quit,” or “It’s going to be hard.” The subconscious has accepted that declaration and is making sure that it’s giving them what it thinks they want. Even if they’ve made a different decision (to quit), the inner mind is simply obeying the concept with the most energy attached to it.
What have you been unwittingly telling your subconscious? “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t win,” “There isn’t enough (whatever) to go around,” “I can’t find a romantic partner,” “There isn’t enough business,” “There’s a scarcity of jobs,” “I can’t find what I want.” These conclusions are instructions to the subconscious, and it must act on them.
There’s an old saying, “Energy flows where attention goes.” Wherever your attention is, whatever you’ve been focusing on, the subconscious will create a mold for that belief and make it real. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been concentrating on what you want, or what you don’t want, a desire or a fear. The subconscious can’t discern between positive or negative emotion. It simply recognizes the force of the energy, associates it with the image or concept you’re dwelling on, and thinks, “They must want this or else they wouldn’t have spent so much time thinking about it.” Energy (emotion) plus image (concept) equals result (your experience).
The subconscious is also quite literal. I told smokers that they needed to keep their attention on their desired result. Instead of focusing on quitting smoking, they needed to keep thinking about being a nonsmoker. I’ve known many people who have quit smoking, only to begin again a few weeks or months later because their stated goal was to “Quit smoking.” Once they’d stopped, their subconscious figured, “Okay, we’ve achieved that goal. Now let’s start smoking again so that we get to accomplish it again.”
The same is true for weight reduction. So many people focus on releasing a certain amount of weight, only to regain it again. Their attention was on the activity of reduction instead of eating and exercising for the weight they wanted to be. The subconscious is only doing what it thinks you want. You have to be specific and focus on the end result instead of the steps to get there. The steps are necessary to break the objective down into goals that can be readily accomplished.
This principle applies to every aspect of your life. Do you want a greater income? Instead contemplating the lack of money (which the subconscious perceives to be your aim), fill your mind with the amount you want and how your life will change. If you want a relationship, instead of complaining there you can’t meet anyone you like (the subconscious will make sure you don’t), realize that there are countless number of people to choose from.
Break your objective into attainable steps, small ones you can easily accomplish. And keep your mind on the eventual goal. What do you need to change to achieve it? For instance, a smoker needs to develop new coping skills, as does anyone reducing weight. For greater abundance, do you need to become more visible and network? For a relationship, find ways to meet people of like mind.
Instead of focusing on the lack or blocks to what you want (which the subconscious will misunderstand as instructions), place your attention on the solution and take the actions necessary to get there. Universal energy will flow in, and even if you don’t know how you’ll achieve your objective, you’ll be guided in the right direction. Remember, your subconscious mind will work just as hard to give you what you want as it will to give you what you don’t want. What you concentrate on and then receive from Life is up to you.
Affirmation:
I become aware of the negative messages I’ve been telling myself. Recognizing that they are outdated and that I want to change them, I find a way to open my mind to the possibilities. I now focus on what it is that I do want. As I identify the positive changes that my goal will manifest in my life, I take the actions necessary to bring about the change I desire. My subconscious finds the way to bring it about, and the Universe guides and directs me in the right direction.
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Reduce Stress and Improve Your Life With Positive Self Talk
Self-talk is the way your inner voice makes sense of the world around you and the way you communicate with your inner self. Self-talk influences your experience of stress, positively or negatively. You can stop yourself from using negative self-talk and use your mind to boost your productivity and self-esteem and relieve stress. Use these 7 ways to take charge and change your negative self-talk to something more constructive.
Most Productive People: 6 Things They Do Every Day
This article is based on six tips from Tim Ferriss, author of the international bestseller, The 4-Hour Workweek. It describes the science behind why the tips work, and insight from the most productive people around. And much of it has to do with being calmer, more focused and happier.
17 Ways You Can Develop New Habits and Improve Your Life
Trying new things makes you healthier, happier, and more creative. It also builds new neural pathways in your brain. It’s possible to adapt to new ideas and habits if you’re open to the possibilities and willing to try new activities.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
Living intentionally brings better health, happiness, freedom and peace of mind. It’s not always easy to live intentionally, because you have to be pro-active or let other people or circumstances make the choice for you. Learn how making deliberate choices brings you better outcomes and the results you want.
Transcript:
Do you live intentionally? Living intentionally means that you deliberately choose a desired result and follow through to create it. It also means that you chose to live according to your values and beliefs. When you live intentionally, you’re healthier, happier, freer and more at peace. Who wouldn’t want that?
Living intentionally is not easy, because every day, your life is made up of a series of choices. You can either make a decision each time a choice arises or let that decision be made for you by other people or by circumstances. Many times, it’s easier to let other people or circumstances make the choice for you, but then you feel helpless and hopeless. And you probably won’t get the outcome you seek.
Whether or not you live intentionally is like being in a canoe in a swift running creek. Do you want to use the paddle to keep you on course or throw that paddle away and let the creek toss you about every which way? This would be the proverbial, “Up a creek without a paddle” scenario, right?
If you don’t have a paddle, which is your decision making power, your canoe might run onto rocks and be overturned and you’d be in the water. Not a good result, right? Being intentional is like using your paddle to direct your canoe through the water safely.
When you’ve chosen a result you’re willing to work towards, or to live by your values, most of your choices become easier. You discard the possibilities that lead you away from your path, and choose the ones that support the direction you want to go. You’re more focused and fulfilled. You feel empowered, motivated and in control.
How can you become more intentional with your choices today?
For more tips and articles on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please visit my blog EmpoweringYourMind.com.
Have a wonderful and intentional day.
Read the accompanying article Why You Need a Vision and Plan.
“A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it.” William James
You view your life through a filter, made up of your thoughts about the matter. That filter then colors what you perceive in the situation. Whether it’s true or not, you then act on that perception. Your life is made up of the actions you’ve taken or not taken, based on your perceptions at the time. Every moment, you have multiple choices of how to view your world and how to respond to it. Consider what kind of life do you want, and then decide on the thoughts you need to have to bring it about.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
When you’re pursuing a goal, you have to have some sort of motivation to either jumpstart your action or keep you going. There are two basic kinds of motivation, and each has their place. But there’s one kind of motivation that will inspire you in the tough times. Learn what that motivation is, and use this guided meditation to uncover the motivation that will see you through.
Transcript:
When you are working towards some goal, you’re motivating yourself in one of two ways: either by external or internal rewards. External motivation is what’s been called the carrot and stick model, or pleasure/pain principle. You’ve heard of that, right?
In essence, you hold something pleasant in front of you to keep going, the carrot, or you remind yourself of something painful that could happen if you stop, the stick. Have you ever done either of those? External motivation works to get you started on a project or goal, but it doesn’t really keep you committed.
However, internal motivation keeps you going through the tough times, because it comes from within you. You’re like an energizer bunny. Internal motivation brings you more satisfaction, fulfillment, and greater productivity. So how do you find your internal motivation to pursue a goal? I’d like to share a short meditation to help you discover it.
If you want, close your eyes. Take a deep breath, and let it out slowly.
Think about a goal you have, or something you want to change in your life. Ask yourself these questions:
Open your eyes. Just asking yourself these questions will begin to stir up your internal motivation. Pick one of these questions and ask it once or twice a day. You may be surprised to find an answer will pop into your mind when you least expect it. Then use it to keep you on course to your goals.
To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, watch my FREE training video, Set Your Course to Success. Register for the video and accompanying action planning guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com. One of the steps has to do with finding and using your motivation. Find the motivation that will keep you committed, and you’ll persist until you achieve your goal.
by Linda-Ann Stewart
When you want to achieve a goal, you focus on that desire. You can create a focus or vision board about it, formulate a list of the steps, and take action to put it into motion. But if the overall tendency of your thoughts isn’t optimistic, even if you’re generally positive about your goal, then you’ll have a hard time bringing it into reality.
When working with the Law of Attraction, practitioners state what they want. They visualize and affirm its fulfillment. But they neglect to address their supporting consciousness. For a seed to sprout, it needs to be planted in fertile soil. If it drops onto parched dirt, there’s no way it can germinate.
For instance, suppose you want to start a new business. You get all the paperwork in order, market your product or service, and have some limited success. The quality of your success depends not only on your belief that you’ll achieve it, but on whether you have a pessimistic or optimistic outlook. If your thoughts are predominantly negative, you’ll have an uphill battle.
Although focusing on the specific outcome you want is necessary to achieve the desired result, that’s not the complete picture. The subconscious acts on the average of your thoughts. If your negative thoughts outweigh your positive ones, then achieving success is going to be like dragging an anvil uphill over a rocky path.
Focusing only on your goal and its plan is like exercising to improve one single area of your body. If you only work on strengthening your stomach muscles, you’ll get mediocre abs and the rest of your body will be in poor shape. But if you exercise the rest of your body too, you’ll find that it increases the response of your abdomen to its workout. This is because the condition of your whole body is now balanced and can support the other muscles that help the abs. Whole body training is much more effective than spot training.
When you improve your overall attitude towards life, to become more optimistic, you’ll find that success comes to you much easier and more quickly. Your subconscious is instructed by your belief that change is possible and good things can happen in an instant. By addressing your supporting consciousness, more energy can be channeled into fulfilling your goal. As a result, you may bump into a contact who can open doors for you, or have opportunities drop into your lap.
Here are 5 ways to improve your overall consciousness of good and increase your chance for success:
State what you’re grateful for. Every night, write down 3 things you’re grateful for. In doing so, you’re directing your subconscious to find more to appreciate. Studies show that doing this can improve your positive attitude for months and increase your productive energy.
Put yourself on a criticism diet. When you criticize anything in your life, you’re focusing on the negative. And that instructs the subconscious to bring more to criticize into your life. Criticism contracts and destroys. Praise expands and builds. That’s why gratitude is so important.
Look for the good in everything. Whenever you seek to find the gold in a seemingly unhappy situation, you’re instructing your creative mind to find a benefit from it. If this exercise is a stretch for you, then focus on the small joys of life. Pay attention to whatever good happens during the day, no matter how tiny or insignificant it might be. Dwell on the delight.
Remember your successes. Bring to mind how you’ve met and overcome challenges, even if they’re small. Linger over them, impressing their positive images and emotions on your mind. Remind yourself that if you could do it once, you can build on it and do it again in a bigger way.
Take time to meditate. Not only does meditation reduce stress, it builds resources for you to draw on in challenging times. To begin with, you can simply observe your breath going in and out for 2 minutes. This trains your mind to quiet down. As you get comfortable with that length, you can extend the session a minute at a time.
Build a well of optimism for yourself, and when you set a goal, you’ll have all of that positive energy that can be used to focus on it. Only by increasing and improving the overall quality of your thoughts will you be able to achieve the success you desire and deserve.
Affirmation:
I know the Universe wants the best for me. When I become aware that I’m being critical, I stop and find something to praise in the situation. Gratitude instructs my creative mind to find more to appreciate, therefore the good in my life expands. I delight in the small and large joys of life. As I do, I open the channel for more Universal good to flow into my life.
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by Linda-Ann Stewart
Everyone has two ways of being motivated to achieve a goal. You’re either internally or externally motivated. Internal motivation includes desiring to be of service, a leader, or improving yourself, while external motives could be making more money, receiving approval or developing prestige. Most people focus on external rewards to drive them toward a goal, thinking that’s the key. But oddly enough, paying attention to your internal motivation is more likely to bring you success.
You might think that having both a strong internal and external motive would increase your chances of succeeding. But that’s not the case. Instead, the two motives compete and cancel each other out. As a result, a person is less likely to meet their goals than when they have one type of motivation. And the best way to succeed is to work with your internal motives. Success flows from the inside out.
When you elevate your internal motivation, you’re connecting with your Higher Self and allowing it to express in your life. This allows you to be in the flow of the Universe, and expand your influence and awareness.
The Elements of Internal Motivation
Your internal motive is your why, or the purpose, you’re seeking with your goal. Without a strong reason, you’ll run out of gas on your way to your objective and sputter to a stop. When you have your “why” figured out, it empowers and encourages you to continue when the going gets tough. Your “why” also energizes the Law of Attraction to draw what you want to you. Do you want to be healthier or feel better? Does your goal support or allow you to express your values? Figure out your “why” and keep it in mind as you move forward.
If your beliefs aren’t aligned with your goals, then you may come close to or even achieve your goal, only to backslide. You’ll find a way to sabotage yourself to stay in agreement with your belief. If your beliefs don’t sustain your goal, that gives the Law of Attraction conflicting directions, and will deliver only a partial result. Do you have trouble believing that your goal is possible? Or do you feel unworthy of achieving your goal? Uncover the unproductive beliefs you have about your goal and find a way to turn them around so they support your aspiration.
Having clarity about your vision is vital to accomplish your goal. Your vision establishes where you want to end up with your goal. Unless you have a vision, you may accomplish a goal, but it won’t take you anywhere. You’ll spin your wheels or run in circles, without fulfilling the purpose for the goal. A vision gives the Law of Attraction a definite pattern of what you want. The Law can then fill that pattern more easily. Once you have a vision, create a plan of how to get to your destination. Then determine the goals, or steps, you need to bring your plan into reality.
Succeed from the Inside Out
Probably 90% of the time, your internal motivation will bring you to success. All of your strategies and tactics should rest on the foundation of your inner motives. Whether you have a goal to change a habit or build a business, pay more attention to your internal motivation. This is what will drive your external strategies, steps and actions so that you stay focused on your vision. You’ll experience more meaning, purpose and fulfillment when you plan to succeed from the inside out.
Affirmation:
The Universe supports my goals, vision and aspirations. It wants the best for me. I determine what my inner motivation is to propel me towards my desire. That motivation inspires and sets my intention to take the actions necessary to fulfill my vision. My motivation is one that is good for me and for everyone concerned.
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Whenever you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, practice being in the now. Don’t worry about the future, just deal with the one thing you have to do in this minute. Studies show that people who practice mindfulness have more mental, physical and emotional resources. When your mind is constantly darting around, trying to solve problems while you’re working on a project, it’s exhausting and counter-productive. Being in the moment can give your busy mind a rest and allow you to focus all your energies on what you have to do right now. When you’re done with that, you can go on to the next thing. Studies show that this can also improve your mood, memory and well-being.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart