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Reframe to Empower Yourself

Reframe to Empower Yourself

by Linda-Ann Stewart

"People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them." Epictetus

The way you think about a situation affects your emotions, actions and your ability to find solutions. When you look at a situation from a single perspective, you get stuck in however it’s making you feel at that moment. The situation doesn’t impact you as much as your opinion about it.

If you’re optimistic about being able to triumph over circumstances, then you’re empowered and have the ability to respond in a positive way. However, if you feel helpless, angry, or stressed, this closes down your creativity. Negative thoughts about a situation freeze your resourcefulness. Your negative emotions will keep you from being able to take actions that will benefit you. In that case, all you can do is to react in ways you’ve done before and get similar results. You’ll also limit the Universe from being able to create something good from it.

Shift Your Perspective

However, you have the power to change the way you think about any occurrence. When you look at the situation from a different angle, you open yourself up to new options and interpretations. You can do this by finding a way to reframe the incident.

Imagine you’re looking out of a window. You see the landscape from a single perspective.  Anything else outside of your view doesn’t exist. You might even judge it to be boring or threatening. Once you’ve decided your attitude towards it, then your choices, and the Universe’s, are limited.

But if you shift your position or your viewpoint in relationship to the window, suddenly you have a different angle on the scene. You notice things you didn’t before, such as beauty or support. You’ve put a different frame around the landscape. Now you have a greater appreciation for what’s there and change your conclusions.

Reframing a situation changes where you place your attention, and helps you to think differently about the conditions. When you think differently, you’re empowered to make different decisions.  Suddenly, a wider world of possibilities is available to you, and the Universe can bring you greater good.

How to Reframe a Situation

Reframing also opens the door for the subconscious to seek solutions. Your subconscious can discover new options and opportunities for you. Learning how to reframe takes a willingness to let go of your preconceived notions and entrenched attitudes. But it can pay off by not only making you feel better, but improving your approach to the circumstances.

1. Notice what’s upsetting you. The way you think about something causes you to feel an emotion. When you recognize you’re distressed, track it back to what you were originally thinking. You may become aware of an outdated idea, attitude or judgment.

2. How else can you look at the situation? Mentally, take a step back from your emotions. Challenge your thoughts and beliefs about the situation. Could there be some other interpretation? Consider a benefit that could come from the situation or what you could learn from it.

3. What’s something more positive you can tell yourself about the situation? You choose what you tell yourself about the circumstances. By taking a different inner position on the incident, you cultivate greater resources to make better decisions. If you can’t think of anything specific about the situation, use a generalized affirmation. “This, too, shall pass” or “Something wonderful comes from this” are ones I’ve used with great success.

Make Reframing a Habit

Your old ways of reacting to situations is a habit, but you can create new habits. When a circumstance arises that makes you uncomfortable, practice disputing your thoughts, beliefs and emotions about it. This breaks up old thought patterns to allow you to build new mental pathways that support your empowerment. Eventually, this process will become automatic.

Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” When you shift your position towards an event, you become aware of other options and actions you can take. As your actions change, so will the dynamics in the situation, and generally for your benefit. The Universe will have a channel to extract the good and present it to you in a way you may not expect.

Affirmation:

Whenever I experience a challenging situation, I immediately seek to find the good in it. I transform any upsetting thoughts about the circumstances into neutral or positive ideas. As I do, I allow the power of the Universe to flow through and create good from the situation. Something wonderful comes to me as a result.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

You Can Choose Your Beliefs

You Can Choose Your Beliefs

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Breaking the chains of outdated beliefs

When Sandy was a small child, she and her younger brother were playing in the same room. She was playing quietly with a doll, and he was pounding his truck with a rock. Her mother yelled at them to stop it, saying that they were “bad” and “destructive.” She went on to rant that they’d never receive anything good because they wouldn’t take care of it. Because of this episode, Sandy grew up believing that she didn’t deserve anything of value.

This belief had created a filter in Sandy’s life. Whenever she had an opportunity to improve her life or have something of importance, she sabotaged it. One time, she lost a precious necklace soon after she received it. Another time, after getting a promotion, she forgot a vital deadline and was demoted as a result. Her subconscious made her belief that she couldn’t be trusted into a reality.

Break with the Old Belief

One day, as she was relating the memory to a friend, she realized that her mother hadn’t been speaking to her. Suddenly, she recognized that her mother had been addressing her brother. Reassessing the situation from an adult perspective, Sandy understood her mother had been frustrated that her brother had destroyed every toy he’d gotten. Sandy’s entire belief system shifted, and she felt a surge of self-worth.

Although Sandy didn’t consciously choose the belief that she wasn’t worthy of anything good, it was one that she’d accepted before she was old enough to know better? Some of your beliefs are from single experiences that deeply impressed you, like Sandy’s. Others are hand-me-downs from your family or friends when you were too young to decide whether they were valid or not.

Your Beliefs Filter the World

For instance, you may have been a graceful dancer, but a jealous sibling or classmate told you that you were a klutz. If you accepted the judgment, from that point on you had a hard time walking without tripping over a blade of grass.

Or maybe you had a label pinned to you. Were you a strong minded child that refused to blindly follow instructions? If so, you may have been labeled a “troublemaker” by teachers and parents.  And from that point on, you put on that persona and causing trouble became your hobby.

You filter your world through your beliefs. They affect your decisions, behaviors, reactions, and actions. They also influence how you respond to people and situations and how others respond to you. Not only that, your subconscious mind makes sure that you confirm your beliefs. This is why Sandy lost the necklace, the dancer became clumsy, and the stubborn child became a troublemaker.

Assess Your Beliefs

But a belief isn’t set in stone. For instance, the incident with Sandy’s brother didn’t affect him at all. He became a truck driver with an impeccable record. A situation doesn’t create a belief. Your belief is simply an interpretation of events and your comprehension could be incorrect, as Sandy’s was. You may not have all the facts or information, just as Sandy didn’t. Your judgment is also affected by other beliefs and perceptions you have. Two different people would interpret the situation in very different ways, depending on their own experiences, perceptions and beliefs.

You can choose what to believe. If a belief isn’t working for you, then you can change it. Beliefs are created by what you focus on and accept as a reality. If you focus on a feeling of worthlessness, then that’s what you’ll believe. However, if you consciously recognize your true worth, and focus on that, you’ll start to feel deserving.

When you focus on the idea that life is a struggle, then you’ll only notice conditions that verify your belief. Choosing to believe that life can be easy and harmonious will switch your filter, and instruct your subconscious to find ways for life to flow smoother.

Are Your Beliefs Serving You?

Are your beliefs giving you the life you want or taking you where you want to go? If not, what do you need to believe to take you there? When the old belief surfaces, substitute the new one. It may feel threatening at first because you’re changing a long standing habit. But the sky won’t fall if you do.

After the old belief filter disappeared from Sandy’s mind, she got a promotion and this time she remembered her deadlines. Because she realized her value, she was able to accept value into her world. What beliefs do you choose to change so you can claim a better life?

Affirmation:

I reassess old, outdated beliefs and recognize which ones have been limiting filters for me. By identifying them and that they’re no longer useful, I take the first step to changing them. The Universe completely supports me in this endeavor. I give myself permission to change my belief to something more positive and that opens the door to success, health, harmony and abundance.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Live Authentically

Live Authentically

If you’re not living authentically, then you probably feel out of tune with yourself. Being true to yourself is important for you to feel whole. To discover what living authentically means to you, ask yourself these 4 questions. They’ll open the door to self-discovery and a greater sense of well being. Watch Live Authentically.

Transcript:

Do you ever feel like you’re out of phase with your true self? Like you’re trying to squeeze into a suit that doesn’t fit? If so, you’re probably doing something that’s not genuine for you. When people act in ways that aren’t natural for them, they feel like they’re betraying themselves. Being authentic isn’t just a self-improvement catch-phrase, it’s an instinctive imperative.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist. For over 30 years, I’ve helped people achieve their goals in life and business. I learned that self-worth and authenticity was important for a greater sense of well being.

When you’re living authentically, you feel in tune with yourself, with greater self-acceptance and self-worth. The challenge is to discover how you can be more authentic in your life. To do so, you’ll have to become aware of what makes you feel aligned with your inner self.

You can ask yourself some questions, like:

  * When do I feel out of tune with myself?

  * What can I do in those situations to improve my well being?

  * When do I feel the most whole and at ease with myself?

  * What actions do I need to take to feel the most authentic?

By pausing to think over these questions, you’ll open a new door. You’ll begin to figure out what you need to do to be in alignment with your deepest self. As Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

As you take small, daily steps to being more authentic, and accepting yourself, you’ll learn how important it is to be true to yourself.

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video and would like to be notified of future videos in which I’ll give you tips on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel. Stay focused.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“For every thing you have missed, you have gained something else; and for every thing you gain, you lose something.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Although you may want something better, you may have trouble giving up what you have right now. When you move from one location to another, even if the move is to a better life, you may grieve for what is left behind. That’s natural. But the only way to move forward is to let go of what you now have. It’s like crossing a small stream. The bank you’re on is safe and familiar. You can’t keep one foot on each bank, or you risk falling into the water. So you have to step across, completely leaving behind the other side.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

When you begin taking back your power, the people in your life will probably react by putting more pressure on you in an attempt to change you back. They’re only mirroring your own ambivalence and uncertainty. When you get clear in your own mind that it’s appropriate to set boundaries, to say “no,” to insist on respect, then the response will be more accepting. So the more determined and committed you are to take back your power, the easier the transition will be.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Accept Your Introvert or Extrovert Temperament

Accept Your Introvert or Extrovert Temperament

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Coffee cup saying Choose Happy

Some years ago, I had a friend urge me to go write and work on my business in coffee shops. She loved to work around people, and said, “You’ll get so much done!” I unsuccessfully tried to explain to her that I couldn’t concentrate with other people around. Their activity and noise was too distracting. She never understood.

It was the classic difference between an introvert, like me, and an extrovert, like her. An extrovert loves being around people. Extroverts are buoyed up by the energy of people and ride that wave. Introverts get overwhelmed and overstimulated by being around too many people. They might like to be around people for a short time, but then they have to go recharge in solitude. To an extrovert, being isolated would be punishment. For an introvert, it’s nirvana.

The Differences Between Extroverts and Introverts

Extroverts and introverts process information through different parts of the brain. For an introvert, the information has to go through more areas of the brain for them to come to a conclusion. They consider more deeply and thoroughly about a subject before they arrive at a decision.

Extroverts process information as they interact. They’re spontaneous, and like to talk a subject through or think out loud to reach an answer. While extroverts will say the first thing that comes to mind, introverts reflect about a question before they answer.

Being an introvert isn’t synonymous with being shy. I’ve known shy extroverts and outgoing introverts. Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert depends on whether you get energized or depleted around groups of people and how you think. Introverts have rich inner lives, while extroverts need to be stimulated by outer experiences.

Each Type Has Value

Western society prefers and rewards extroverts, who are gregarious and risk takers. Eastern culture values introvert’s traits of reflection and seclusion. The West loves outgoing people and thinks that loners are somehow lacking in social skills. That’s not true, because introverts are much better listeners. But, in western society, introverts are often shamed and pressured to try to be like an extrovert. As a result, this decreases an introvert’s self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence.

No one is fully an extrovert or introvert. It’s not either/or. It’s a spectrum. If you identify a bit with both of them, you may be an ambivert. This is someone who loves to be around people, but does need alone time afterwards to recharge.

Honor Yourself

No matter whether you’re an extrovert, introvert or ambivert, accept your temperament and that it’s right for you. It reflects the individual that you are and what you need for your wellbeing. If you’re an extrovert, find a way to be around people in person or even virtually. However, if you’re an introvert, find your interaction limit, and give yourself permission to have alone time afterwards. 

Recognize how you gain energy, whether it’s being around people, in solitude, or a combination. Find a balance of social stimulation that works for you. Accept that how you think and process information may be different from others.

These traits aren’t learned. You’re born this way. Don’t let anyone shame or pressure you to conform to their idea of who they think you should be. Honor and respect your temperament. You’ll be happier, healthier and be able to utilize your strengths to create a life that suits you.

Affirmation:

The Universe accepts me as I am. I recognize my strengths and use them in a positive way. I also understand that others may be different from me. As I listen to my inner self, it guides me to create balance and joy in my life. I now honor and respect myself and what I need for my wellbeing.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Do you feel stuck in a rut and not know what to do to get out of it? Your feeling of stuckness and discontent is creating more of the same. And that feeling is to push you out of the comfort zone that’s gotten to be too small for you. So take some action, any action. Start walking, yoga or an exercise routine. Do some journaling about how you feel about it. Do whatever you can to get the energy moving again. Eventually, if not sooner, this will direct you back into the flow of harmony.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Will I be optimistic in 3 weeks?

Will I be optimistic in 3 weeks?

Question about affirmations

Question: If I say an affirmation for three weeks, will I see results and think only positive thoughts by then?

Answer: If you begin saying a positive affirmation, and say it consistently every day for three weeks, you’ll notice an improvement in your attitude. However, you’ll need to catch each negative thought and idea and change it to a positive for the results to be most effective.

And you won’t have a permanent change in your thoughts after just three weeks. You’ll need to keep up with the affirmation, and transforming your negative thoughts even after that. But the negative thoughts will be fewer and you’ll be more positive overall.

This isn’t something you can do for a few days, weeks or months and then stop doing. It’s a focused change of thinking that must continue. You won’t have to be as diligent later on, because you’ll be more aware of your negative thoughts and automatically change them to positives. Affirmations aren’t magic. You have to use them consistently for them to work.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin

Most people tend to avoid changing until it becomes too painful to stay where they are. They fear the unknown and the effort to change more than they fear the difficulty they’re in. Change isn’t easy, and it takes motivation, determination and commitment. Sometimes, it means you have to make tough choices. When you get tired of being uncomfortable, unhappy, and distressed, you’ll gather your resources and say, “Enough! I can make things better.” 

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

What Are You Expecting?

What Are You Expecting?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

“People only see what they are prepared to see.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Imagine you’re at a networking meeting where you don’t know anyone. You feel out of place and just a little anxious. A nicely dressed woman walks in your direction. Uneasy, you prepare to introduce yourself and smile at her. But she never makes eye contact, walks right by and you feel snubbed.

You filtered her actions through your beliefs and expectations. Because you already felt insecure, you believed she deliberately ignored you. The truth is that she probably was focused on someone across the room that she knew and never even noticed you. But you interpreted her actions to be what you expected, which was to be ignored, rather than she just wasn’t aware of you.

We See What We Expect

As we go through life, it’s human nature to notice things that reinforce what we already believe. For example, a salesperson gets uncomfortable with a potential client being quiet during a sales conversation. The salesperson thinks the client has no interest in the product, when the client is actually trying to figure out how they can pay for the item.

Negative people seek out any information that downplays optimism being beneficial so they can validate being pessimistic. A self-confident, outgoing person expects people to like them. They believe that everyone they meet is a potential friend, and because of their attitude, most people respond to their warmth.

Expectations Shape Results

Everything in your life is filtered through what you expect and believe. Anything that disputes or questions your perceptions is demeaned or dismissed. When you have so narrow a focus, you won’t notice other ideas or opportunities that present themselves to you. Possibilities may be all around you, but since you’re not expecting them, you overlook them. And sometimes, if they’re presented to you, you rebuff them because they don’t fit into the picture you have in your mind.  

If your beliefs and expectations are the lens through which you view life, then that outlook is where your focus is. Wherever you put your attention affects your actions. For instance, when you expect an idea or project to be rejected, you don’t put a lot of effort into it. So your expectations become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because your decisions, behaviors and actions influenced the outcome.

Change Your Filter

The way to see things differently, so your results improve, is to change the filter through which you view conditions. When you have a disappointing encounter, ask yourself the following questions.

  • What did you expect from it?
  • Was your expectation unrealistic?
  • Did you misread the situation?
  • Did your actions or inactions contribute to the outcome?
  • Were you open and accepting of other options?
  • What can you do to improve the situation?            
  • How can you change your beliefs to be more aware of opportunities?

These questions will begin to break through your mental assumptions, allowing you to consider other interpretations. As Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Change your expectations, and you’ll start seeing a whole new world of possibilities.

Affirmation:

I release limiting beliefs and expectations. They come from the past and no longer support the life I want. I now look at situations from a more objective viewpoint. Possibilities abound in my life, and I recognize opportunities when they come my way. I attract the best that Life has to offer.

Watch the complementary video, Check Your Preconceptions at the Door.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.