Do you try to get everything done perfectly? That can lead to procrastination and undermine the outcome you’re seeking. Instead of trying to be perfect, use this mindset tip to complete your project and move to your next accomplishment. Watch Avoid the Paralysis of Perfection.
Transcript:
Welcome. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart and I empower people to focus and achieve their goals and vision. Today, I’d like to talk about perfectionism and how it holds you back.
I once knew an artist who was a perfectionist about her paintings. She worked on one for years. It was of dried leaves and a tree stump. You wouldn’t think that subject would be interesting, but her depiction of it was beautiful.
For one thing, the leaves that she’d completed were amazing. You’d have sworn they were real. But she spent so much time on each leaf, meticulously trying to get it perfect, that she never finished the painting. Eventually, she moved on to work on other pieces.
Although that painting wouldn’t have been as detailed, it would have been better for her to have completed it without agonizing over every vein in every leaf. No one would have noticed them missing, and the picture still would have been phenomenal. Unfortunately, that partially completed masterpiece sat in the closet and few people ever had the joy of seeing it.
Do you avoid finishing a project, because you don’t think it’s perfect enough? Perfectionism can lead to procrastination, which can create paralysis. You dread dealing with the project, and that resistance takes energy away from it and other things. The dread hangs over your head, taking up valuable mental real estate.
My coaching tip is a mindset shift. There are motivational statements like, “Done is better than perfect,” and “Progress, not perfection.” They may be trite, but they’re true, and important to remember if you get bogged down in trying to be perfect. No one but you is going to know your project is not up to your standard of perfection. It will be perfectly acceptable to them and appreciated.
Like my friend’s painting, it really is better to just complete what you’re working on. You’ll get so much more done. Even if the result isn’t as great as you’d like, you can then move on to your next accomplishment. Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please like my channel so you’re notified when I post future ones. Stay focused.
“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”Michael J. Fox
Do you ever avoid going out of the house with a hair out of place or in wrinkled clothes? Are you afraid to turn in a project, because of you feel it’s not good enough? I knew an artist who started an oil painting of dried leaves and a decomposing stump. She spent days painting every leaf in great detail, so detailed that a person looking at it thought they were real. But she spent so much time on the details that she eventually moved on to another project and never finished the painting.
I’ve never met a happy perfectionist. Most of them are anxious, unhappy people, who have low self-esteem, and are trying to meet some impossible, ideal standard. Generally, the syndrome comes from a childhood with parents, caregivers or teachers who never approved of anything these folk did.
Wanting Acknowledgement
In elementary school, when I would make a perfect grade on a test, my father would ask “Why didn’t you make a 200%?” In fifth grade, we had a pop quiz, on which I made a 100%, and then the teacher had us take a similar one, on which I also made a perfect grade. When my father came home, I was waiting for him.
“I made a 100% today,” I said.
“Why didn’t you make a 200%?” he asked, as usual.
I laughed and said, “I did,” and showed him the papers. He never asked me that particular question again.
Fortunately for me, my father did give me approval and acceptance. But for many people who are perfectionists, they’ve never received that from their parents. As children, they tried to do everything right to gain some acknowledgement and never did. What they didn’t realize was that it wouldn’t have mattered how perfect they were, their parents couldn’t approve of their achievements because of the parents’ emotional baggage. When the child grew up into adulthood, they continued the attempt to be perfect to avoid rejection. It didn’t work in childhood, even though to the childish mind it appeared to give them some control over the situation. As an adult, it only causes misery.
The Basis of Perfectionism
There is a difference between being a perfectionist and being precise. A perfectionist isn’t motivated by trying to be accurate or to do their best. They’re actually living out of fear, trying to avoid making a mistake so that they aren’t rejected or criticized. Being precise is important in many careers, and in many aspects of our lives. Accuracy is valuable in mixing chemicals, recipes, statistics, etc., because an error in any of these could cost dearly. But the difference between being a perfectionist and being precise is that the former takes over a person’s whole being, while the latter is specific as to time and place.
Perfectionism can keep a person immobilized. An individual can be so afraid of making a move that they won’t do anything, for fear that their decision could be the wrong one. A project may be finished, but they revise it over and over, trying to get it just right. The point they miss is that there are any number of right ways to complete the project. And continuing to work on it may mean they turn it in late.
Perfection and Procrastination
Another side effect of perfectionism can be procrastination. As in the example just given, if a person keeps re-working a project until it’s late, they may not be faulted for it “not being their best work.” In other cases, an individual may postpone making decisions or taking action so they won’t be condemned. Then they’re criticized for never doing anything.
All of this comes from trying to live up to some artificial, unrealistic standard that was imposed on them in childhood. And instead of a positive principle they aspire to, they actually live in fear of not measuring up to it. So much energy is wasted in fear that they can never actually live up to their potential. And very likely, due to the fear of condemnation, a person won’t risk suggesting new ideas or new methods in their careers or personal life, preferring to stick with what has been accepted in the past.
Update Your Beliefs
If you’re a perfectionist, realize that it’s a response to an environment that no longer exists. With your current knowledge, review the dynamics of your childhood relationships with your caregivers. Would you ever have gotten their approval, or were they imposing unrealistic expectations on you? For instance, expecting a four-year-old to act like an adult is irrational.
Experiment with not doing things perfectly; like leaving dishes in the sink for a few hours, don’t straighten pictures, and go for a walk without dressing specifically for it. Whenever you feel anxious that you may not be doing something perfectly, remind yourself that nothing is ever perfect. Do your best, be accurate, be precise, but don’t try to be perfect. Then move on. In so doing, you’ll begin to reclaim your life, your power and your peace of mind.
Affirmation:
I give myself permission not to be perfect. Assessing my past, I recognize that perfection wouldn’t have brought me the acknowledgement that I craved. Perfection won’t bring me any greater acceptance or approval in the present. I am, and have always been, a valuable person. I do my best, I aspire to be accurate and precise, but I let go of any false belief that I have to be perfect to be accepted. The Universe accepts and approves of me, as I am, therefore I do the same.
There is no skill more important to success than being able to detect who is sincere and who isn’t. Inauthentic people try to be someone they’re not, in an attempt to be successful. But, because of that, they can’t be trusted. When you learn who is faking it, you can then decide how to handle them.
You may be a perfectionist and not even know it. There’s a price that comes with being a perfectionist, such as being controlling, micro-managing, and never feeling good enough. When perfectionism is mild, it can contribute to success. When it’s extreme, it can sabotage you. Learn the signs and how to let go of what may not be working for you.
It can be difficult to determine when someone is manipulating you. Usually, they’ve developed the skill over years and hide their intent well. But if you can recognize the behavior, you won’t fall into their trap and can make a better decision on how to handle the situation.
7 Ways To Start To Value Yourself
It’s not self-centered to put yourself first. If you don’t, not only will no one else, but others will take advantage of you until you’re empty. When you prioritize your well being, you have more to give to others who will value you. This article gives some powerful tips on actions you can take so you feel more worthwhile.
A Simple but Proven Way to Get Things Done
For some people, without having outside pressure to accomplish a task, it doesn’t get done. It’s hard to set aside the time and energy to achieve it when you can always put it off. This can affect your productivity, effectiveness and success. But if you figure out how to set it as a priority, you’ll get it done. This article describes an efficient method you can use to increase your progress.
How to Overcome Perfectionism: 6 Powerful Habits
Perfectionism is a destructive tendency. It drains your self-esteem and undermines your productivity. Not only can you get stuck while trying to get things perfect, but you dig yourself into a hole that it’s hard to get out of. But you can overcome this frustrating pattern. It’s not easy to break this habit, but using these tips will get you moving in the right direction.
Perfectionism prevents you from moving forward in your life. It’s an enemy of innovation and creativity, because they start off being disorganized. Progress is messy. And when you try to be perfect, you block your ability to complete anything. Learn how to overcome this undermining tendency so that you can achieve your vision.
Transcript:
Are you a perfectionist? Trying to get everything perfect before you move on? Is it successful? I’ll bet probably not. That’s because perfectionism is an unreachable goal. It doesn’t serve you or allow you to thrive. It holds you prisoner to its demands. And it lies when it lures you with the idea that it helps you to excel. It doesn’t. It can actually derail your ability to excel Perfectionism and excelling are two different things. Perfection is a dead end. Excellence can always be improved.
I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision strategist. For almost 30 years, I’ve been a hypnotherapist. Clients came to see me to create change in their lives. Early on, I discovered that they had to also have a vision of where they wanted to end up with that change to be truly successful. Now, as a vision strategist, I help women entrepreneurs get a clear vision, get focused on its strategies and get back in control so they’re able to accelerate to the next level of their business.
Voltaire said,”Perfection is the enemy of the good.” It’s also the enemy of innovation and creativity. Because those are messy and disorganized. They’re designed to create order out of chaos, but first chaos has to reign. I understand if you’re just shuddering as I mention that. I’ll bet it goes counter to everything you’ve believed.
As an example, an artist friend of mine was blocked. She specialized in oils, and wanted her paintings to be perfect. So she’d work and rework parts of her paintings and had gotten to a point where she wouldn’t complete one. To break through this block, and loosen up, she decided to take a watercolor class from a friend.
She was shocked to her bones when the teacher started the class by saying, “Give yourself permission to paint the worst picture you ever have.” My friend was almost immobilized by this instruction. “I can’t do that,” she said. “I have to try my best.” After a lot of encouragement, she was finally able to let go and experiment and play. And it made her realize that her attachment to perfection was what was blocking her. And she began completing paintings again.
Have you ever heard the saying, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well?” Many people read that to mean “perfectly.” I prefer the quote by G. K. Chesterton, “Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.” If you’re a perfectionist, I’ll bet you just winced. It’s completely opposite of everything you were taught or have done. But I promise, the sky won’t fall if you do something badly. The earth will continue to spin. No one will think less of you. You’re the one who puts that pressure on yourself. No one else cares that much. You’re the one blocking your progress and your vision, like my artist friend was.
When you first start working on something or starting a new enterprise, don’t expect yourself to be perfect. You’re going to do poorly at first. A child doesn’t walk the first time they try, do they? You’re not going to be an expert when you first start something new. Yes, I know that rocks you down to your feet. But you have to practice before you can reasonably expect to master your project. You’ll just have to keep working at it. The idea is progress, not perfection.
But sometimes perfectionists procrastinate or rework what they’ve already done just to avoid completing a project. It keeps them from facing judgement, rejection or criticism. But most of that negativity comes from themselves. Like I said, most of the people who know you aren’t going to care.
Perfection is the enemy of good, progress and achieving your vision. Your path to your vision or completion isn’t going to go in a straight line. It’s going to be messy. Accept it. I know that’s hard. There are going to be setbacks and leaps forward. You’re going to learn along the way and make different decisions. That’s the way progress works. It’s messy.
You can still have high standards. Just have reasonable ones. Don’t sacrifice progress or completion to impossible ideals. If you start procrastinating, then you know that standard is too demanding. Scale back and just start. Take a step. Then another. Keep taking steps until it’s done. Just get it done. Even if it’s badly. You’ll eventually get used to it. And you’ll be more likely to excel, be happier and more successful.
If you’d like tips on how to make your day flow more smoothly, download my free guide, Take Control of Your Day.
Thank you for watching. I know this was hard for you, but I hope you’ve gotten some encouragement to loosen some of your perfectionistic tendencies. Take care.
