Do you try to get everything done perfectly? That can lead to procrastination and undermine the outcome you’re seeking. Instead of trying to be perfect, use this mindset tip to complete your project and move to your next accomplishment. Watch Avoid the Paralysis of Perfection.
Transcript:
Welcome. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart and I empower people to focus and achieve their goals and vision. Today, I’d like to talk about perfectionism and how it holds you back.
I once knew an artist who was a perfectionist about her paintings. She worked on one for years. It was of dried leaves and a tree stump. You wouldn’t think that subject would be interesting, but her depiction of it was beautiful.
For one thing, the leaves that she’d completed were amazing. You’d have sworn they were real. But she spent so much time on each leaf, meticulously trying to get it perfect, that she never finished the painting. Eventually, she moved on to work on other pieces.
Although that painting wouldn’t have been as detailed, it would have been better for her to have completed it without agonizing over every vein in every leaf. No one would have noticed them missing, and the picture still would have been phenomenal. Unfortunately, that partially completed masterpiece sat in the closet and few people ever had the joy of seeing it.
Do you avoid finishing a project, because you don’t think it’s perfect enough? Perfectionism can lead to procrastination, which can create paralysis. You dread dealing with the project, and that resistance takes energy away from it and other things. The dread hangs over your head, taking up valuable mental real estate.
My coaching tip is a mindset shift. There are motivational statements like, “Done is better than perfect,” and “Progress, not perfection.” They may be trite, but they’re true, and important to remember if you get bogged down in trying to be perfect. No one but you is going to know your project is not up to your standard of perfection. It will be perfectly acceptable to them and appreciated.
Like my friend’s painting, it really is better to just complete what you’re working on. You’ll get so much more done. Even if the result isn’t as great as you’d like, you can then move on to your next accomplishment. Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please like my channel so you’re notified when I post future ones. Stay focused.
“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”Michael J. Fox
Do you ever avoid going out of the house with a hair out of place or in wrinkled clothes? Are you afraid to turn in a project, because of you feel it’s not good enough? I knew an artist who started an oil painting of dried leaves and a decomposing stump. She spent days painting every leaf in great detail, so detailed that a person looking at it thought they were real. But she spent so much time on the details that she eventually moved on to another project and never finished the painting.
I’ve never met a happy perfectionist. Most of them are anxious, unhappy people, who have low self-esteem, and are trying to meet some impossible, ideal standard. Generally, the syndrome comes from a childhood with parents, caregivers or teachers who never approved of anything these folk did.
Wanting Acknowledgement
In elementary school, when I would make a perfect grade on a test, my father would ask “Why didn’t you make a 200%?” In fifth grade, we had a pop quiz, on which I made a 100%, and then the teacher had us take a similar one, on which I also made a perfect grade. When my father came home, I was waiting for him.
“I made a 100% today,” I said.
“Why didn’t you make a 200%?” he asked, as usual.
I laughed and said, “I did,” and showed him the papers. He never asked me that particular question again.
Fortunately for me, my father did give me approval and acceptance. But for many people who are perfectionists, they’ve never received that from their parents. As children, they tried to do everything right to gain some acknowledgement and never did. What they didn’t realize was that it wouldn’t have mattered how perfect they were, their parents couldn’t approve of their achievements because of the parents’ emotional baggage. When the child grew up into adulthood, they continued the attempt to be perfect to avoid rejection. It didn’t work in childhood, even though to the childish mind it appeared to give them some control over the situation. As an adult, it only causes misery.
The Basis of Perfectionism
There is a difference between being a perfectionist and being precise. A perfectionist isn’t motivated by trying to be accurate or to do their best. They’re actually living out of fear, trying to avoid making a mistake so that they aren’t rejected or criticized. Being precise is important in many careers, and in many aspects of our lives. Accuracy is valuable in mixing chemicals, recipes, statistics, etc., because an error in any of these could cost dearly. But the difference between being a perfectionist and being precise is that the former takes over a person’s whole being, while the latter is specific as to time and place.
Perfectionism can keep a person immobilized. An individual can be so afraid of making a move that they won’t do anything, for fear that their decision could be the wrong one. A project may be finished, but they revise it over and over, trying to get it just right. The point they miss is that there are any number of right ways to complete the project. And continuing to work on it may mean they turn it in late.
Perfection and Procrastination
Another side effect of perfectionism can be procrastination. As in the example just given, if a person keeps re-working a project until it’s late, they may not be faulted for it “not being their best work.” In other cases, an individual may postpone making decisions or taking action so they won’t be condemned. Then they’re criticized for never doing anything.
All of this comes from trying to live up to some artificial, unrealistic standard that was imposed on them in childhood. And instead of a positive principle they aspire to, they actually live in fear of not measuring up to it. So much energy is wasted in fear that they can never actually live up to their potential. And very likely, due to the fear of condemnation, a person won’t risk suggesting new ideas or new methods in their careers or personal life, preferring to stick with what has been accepted in the past.
Update Your Beliefs
If you’re a perfectionist, realize that it’s a response to an environment that no longer exists. With your current knowledge, review the dynamics of your childhood relationships with your caregivers. Would you ever have gotten their approval, or were they imposing unrealistic expectations on you? For instance, expecting a four-year-old to act like an adult is irrational.
Experiment with not doing things perfectly; like leaving dishes in the sink for a few hours, don’t straighten pictures, and go for a walk without dressing specifically for it. Whenever you feel anxious that you may not be doing something perfectly, remind yourself that nothing is ever perfect. Do your best, be accurate, be precise, but don’t try to be perfect. Then move on. In so doing, you’ll begin to reclaim your life, your power and your peace of mind.
Affirmation:
I give myself permission not to be perfect. Assessing my past, I recognize that perfection wouldn’t have brought me the acknowledgement that I craved. Perfection won’t bring me any greater acceptance or approval in the present. I am, and have always been, a valuable person. I do my best, I aspire to be accurate and precise, but I let go of any false belief that I have to be perfect to be accepted. The Universe accepts and approves of me, as I am, therefore I do the same.
It’s the night before a project is due, and you haven’t even started on it. Now, you’re going to have to stay up most of the night to get it done. You make the excuse that you always do your best work under pressure. But really, is that true? Wouldn’t you have done a better job if you’d put the project together earlier, when you were well rested and then fleshed it out? And now, you’ll have a sleepless night and be tired when you turn in the project.
Procrastination is a major cause of stress and anxiety, and lowers the standard of your work. You may miss deadlines and, as a result, undermine others’ respect of you. In addition, this habit reduces your productivity, effectiveness and can cost you money. The chore you’re trying to ignore is always in the back of your mind, taking up emotional and spiritual energy. If you’re like most people, you probably feel guilty and beat yourself up when you avoid a task.
Reasons Why You Procrastinate
Most of us procrastinate to some degree or other, but there are some to whom this is a destructive and chronic habit. To address the issue, you must become aware that it exists, and why it’s a problem for you. The following are some reasons you may be procrastinating.
Resistance. It’s not a task you want to do, so you put it off until the last minute. Because the chore is boring or time consuming, you resent that you must complete it.
Perfectionism. You wait to gather as much information as you can, and hope to find the inspiration to put it all together. But because you never get everything you hope for, you delay starting the task until the deadline looms.
Fear. You’re not sure how to proceed or to get it done. You don’t believe you have the knowledge or skills to do it effectively.
Overwhelm. It’s a huge task, and you don’t know how to get started, or the scope of the issue is overwhelming you.
Disorganized. You don’t have all your notes or details together. Or maybe, you’re often interrupted so you don’t have time to pull everything together.
Uncertain. You don’t know what to do, so you put off making any decisions or taking any action until you have no other choice.
Ways to Overcome Procrastination
Procrastination is a choice. You decide to put something off, something that’s unpleasant, so you focus on something less important, and easier. Once you recognize your issue, you can find solutions.
Break the chore into smaller pieces. Outline what you must do to get the project done. Make sure each item on the list is bite-sized and easy to manage. Being able to handle small pieces will lower your stress and anxiety.
Schedule the chores. Put each small task on your calendar and make sure to keep your appointment with yourself. Each time you can mark one task done, you’ll get a surge of good feelings because the reward center of your brain is triggered. This gives you motivation to keep your next appointment.
Prioritize your lists. If you have a to-do list (as most of us do), prioritize the items and schedule them in accordance with their importance. Again, as you accomplish them, your brain receives a reward and you have a stronger incentive to repeat your action.
Dedicate 5-minutes. If you really feel overwhelmed or resistant, set aside just five minutes to work on your chore. It’s easier to dip your toe into the pool than to dive in head first. This will allow you to chip away at the tasks, and feel productive. If five minutes becomes easy, extend it to ten or fifteen.
Procrastination is a habit that developed in your life over time. The habit won’t be overcome in a day or a week. It took time to create it, and it will take time to break it. Breaking it takes time, dedication, consistency and focus. When you realize that you have the choice to procrastinate or take action, then you’re empowered to choose what’s in your best interest.
Affirmation:
At every moment, I’m Divinely guided with every step I take. As I take a step, the Universe ensures the next one appears. The Universe provides me with everything I need to complete my tasks. I am confident, inspired, uplifted and empowered to take action and fulfill my goals.
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6 Myths and 6 Truths About Perfectionism
Unfortunately, many cultures encourage a toxic view that perfectionism is beneficial. It doesn’t help you to be or do better. You’ll never be able to reach that impossibly high standard. And failing that creates a sense of shame. Stop chasing after perfectionism and understand the uncomfortable truths about it.
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~ Linda-Ann Stewart
As a vision strategist, speaker, coach, and hypnotherapist, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and businesswomen who feel stuck to get a clear vision, focus on strategies, and gain control so they’re able to
accelerate to the next level of their business. Sign up for her FREE guide, Take Control of Your Day.
