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Change Starts From Within

Change Starts From Within

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Woman happy she's changed

As a hypnotherapist, people come to see me professionally because they want some sort of change in their lives. Whether it’s to feel better about themselves, stop smoking, reduce weight, increase their self-confidence, improve their health, or have some other positive adjustment, they have made a choice that has brought them to my office. Together we figure out what they need to change within themselves, and what actions they need to take, to bring about the improvement in their lives.

Every so often, someone comes in who wants me to wave a magic wand over their head and make all their problems disappear, without them having to participate. They don’t want to have to alter a belief, attitude or behavior, but have the problem somehow erased. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. For any change to occur, they have to make a corresponding internal and external commitment to that change.

Change from the Inside Out

For instance, a smoker who says they want to quit must truly decide which they want more, to smoke or not to smoke. Once they’ve chosen to stop smoking, they have to learn new ways to cope with life’s challenges, and dedicate themselves to this new lifestyle. Not only do they have to refrain from smoking, but they have to make the inner changes (and they are many) that are necessary to achieve the eventual goal of becoming a nonsmoker. If they try to quit, without these inner changes, then at the first sign of stress they’ll start up again.

All change starts from within. Initially, a person may just know that something has to improve, and may not even know how to go about it. In this case, they need to figure out what’s wrong and what they need to transform that will make it better. Many times, people want the outer world to be different without doing any inner work. But in every instance, progress begins with changing a thought, belief, attitude, and then a behavior before improvement can be seen in the physical world.

Improving Self-Esteem

For example, someone with low self-esteem, who feels like they’re not good enough, or not worth anything, may not realize that they need a greater sense of self-worth and not know what to do to reach it. All that they recognize is that they feel like they don’t deserve anything nice, and that people take advantage of them.

The first step in healing this is to stop putting themselves down and talk to themselves in a more compassionate and supportive manner. But they must also change some of their behaviors to mirror this new inner dialogue. No matter how difficult it is, they must make sure that they begin to stand up for themselves.

Deal with Inner Attitudes

This doesn’t mean that they should indulge themselves in unhealthy behaviors. For instance, I’ve known people who have decided that they deserve to go out and spend $100 on a meal, even if it means they can’t pay their rent, phone bill, or buy groceries. They think that’s the way to improve their self-image and feel better. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. A person with a healthy self-worth will deny themselves immediate, and transitory, gratification to be able to enjoy a sense of security in the long term.

The same is true for anyone who wants to reduce weight. Rewarding themselves with food, or using it to mask emotions, isn’t going to bring any lasting improvement. They must learn healthy eating behaviors, and listen to what their body (not their emotions) wants to eat, along with reducing portion size, and starting to exercise. They also have to learn to deal with their feelings without using food as a crutch. If the inner attitudes aren’t dealt with and adjusted, no diet in the world is going to permanently keep off the weight.

What Do You Need to Change?

Edwene Gaines, prosperity teacher, recommended meditating on this question, “What do I need to change within myself in order to…?” Sometimes it may mean being willing to let go of a relationship, move, or change jobs. It always indicates changing some attitude or belief on the inner plane, while making changes on the physical plane that show your commitment to the shift in your consciousness.

Permanent improvement in any area of life demands our making a choice for something different, begin to align our beliefs and attitudes so that the new idea is possible and desirable, and then take action to embody the new concept. All of these steps are necessary for there to be change. And when we begin to entertain the idea of change, the Universe will bring us opportunities to help it along. New people will show up in our lives, information will drop onto our desk, or some event may nudge it along. We just have to have the courage and commitment to take the leap into a brighter future.

Affirmation:

I now identify the areas of my life that I want to change and recognize what needs to happen for them to improve. I’m guided to understand what I need to change within myself to create the transformation in my life. The answer is clear. With my whole being, I’m willing to do what is necessary to improve. As I make the decision to change, the Universe supports me and brings whatever I need to help me.

When Reframing Is Counterproductive

When Reframing Is Counterproductive

Reframing is a powerful way to change your thoughts and belief about yourself or a situation. However, there are situations that reframing will just make worse. Learn the 3 types of situations in which reframing doesn’t work, and what to do about them.

Watch When Reframing Is Counterproductive

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me for a mindset tip. This one is about reframing. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist.

Reframing is a powerful way to change your thoughts about yourself or a situation. You take a different perspective, which can change your thoughts about it. When you change your thoughts, then you have more options, and can make better decisions and take different actions. This will affect the situation, and generally benefit you in the long run.

However, there are situations that reframing will just make worse. Therefore, reframing shouldn’t be used as a way to improve your outlook or excuse behavior. When a situation has become unacceptable and won’t change, it’s not helpful for you to try to reframe it to adjust to it.

I know. I’ve experienced each of these issues and tried to change my thinking about it to make it better. It didn’t work out well in any of them. Instead, it’s better take action to deal with the situation, even if it’s painful. The types of situations I’m talking about are:

1. Relationships. I’m especially talking about friends or romantic relationships, but it could be any relationship you might have. When two people are incompatible or have grown apart, no amount of thinking differently about what’s going on is going to make it better. Trying to adjust and just live with it will just prolong the pain. Instead, it’s time to face reality and free yourself and the other person to find someone who truly suits you.

2. Abuse. This would be a more intense version of what I just mentioned. Again, this could be in a romantic relationship, family, friend or work relationship. If someone is constantly harassing you, changing your thinking about it or them isn’t going to make them stop. Excusing their behavior will just encourage them to continue. Your responsibility is to your well being and to find someplace healthier for you.

3. Avoid Accountability. When you’ve made an agreement with someone, yourself or others, reframing doesn’t give you the excuse to avoid fulfilling that agreement. You’ll lose respect for yourself and so will the other person. The situation isn’t going to go away. Instead, accept the responsibility, and decide how you need to address it. It’s better for you in the long-run.

All of these confuse reframing with making excuses, for yourself or for others, in an attempt to avoid taking action. Reframing shouldn’t be used to maintain the status quo or stay in an unhealthy situation. Once you’ve decided on the best course of action for you, you can then reframe the situation as a learning experience. That’s what I’ve done in each of these cases.

Thank you for watching. If this video was helpful, and you’d like to be notified of others I release, please subscribe to my channel.

Read the accompanying article, Reframe to Empower Yourself

You Can Choose Your Beliefs

You Can Choose Your Beliefs

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Breaking the chains of outdated beliefs

When Sandy was a small child, she and her younger brother were playing in the same room. She was playing quietly with a doll, and he was pounding his truck with a rock. Her mother yelled at them to stop it, saying that they were “bad” and “destructive.” She went on to rant that they’d never receive anything good because they wouldn’t take care of it. Because of this episode, Sandy grew up believing that she didn’t deserve anything of value.

This belief had created a filter in Sandy’s life. Whenever she had an opportunity to improve her life or have something of importance, she sabotaged it. One time, she lost a precious necklace soon after she received it. Another time, after getting a promotion, she forgot a vital deadline and was demoted as a result. Her subconscious made her belief that she couldn’t be trusted into a reality.

Break with the Old Belief

One day, as she was relating the memory to a friend, she realized that her mother hadn’t been speaking to her. Suddenly, she recognized that her mother had been addressing her brother. Reassessing the situation from an adult perspective, Sandy understood her mother had been frustrated that her brother had destroyed every toy he’d gotten. Sandy’s entire belief system shifted, and she felt a surge of self-worth.

Although Sandy didn’t consciously choose the belief that she wasn’t worthy of anything good, it was one that she’d accepted before she was old enough to know better? Some of your beliefs are from single experiences that deeply impressed you, like Sandy’s. Others are hand-me-downs from your family or friends when you were too young to decide whether they were valid or not.

Your Beliefs Filter the World

For instance, you may have been a graceful dancer, but a jealous sibling or classmate told you that you were a klutz. If you accepted the judgment, from that point on you had a hard time walking without tripping over a blade of grass.

Or maybe you had a label pinned to you. Were you a strong minded child that refused to blindly follow instructions? If so, you may have been labeled a “troublemaker” by teachers and parents.  And from that point on, you put on that persona and causing trouble became your hobby.

You filter your world through your beliefs. They affect your decisions, behaviors, reactions, and actions. They also influence how you respond to people and situations and how others respond to you. Not only that, your subconscious mind makes sure that you confirm your beliefs. This is why Sandy lost the necklace, the dancer became clumsy, and the stubborn child became a troublemaker.

Assess Your Beliefs

But a belief isn’t set in stone. For instance, the incident with Sandy’s brother didn’t affect him at all. He became a truck driver with an impeccable record. A situation doesn’t create a belief. Your belief is simply an interpretation of events and your comprehension could be incorrect, as Sandy’s was. You may not have all the facts or information, just as Sandy didn’t. Your judgment is also affected by other beliefs and perceptions you have. Two different people would interpret the situation in very different ways, depending on their own experiences, perceptions and beliefs.

You can choose what to believe. If a belief isn’t working for you, then you can change it. Beliefs are created by what you focus on and accept as a reality. If you focus on a feeling of worthlessness, then that’s what you’ll believe. However, if you consciously recognize your true worth, and focus on that, you’ll start to feel deserving.

When you focus on the idea that life is a struggle, then you’ll only notice conditions that verify your belief. Choosing to believe that life can be easy and harmonious will switch your filter, and instruct your subconscious to find ways for life to flow smoother.

Are Your Beliefs Serving You?

Are your beliefs giving you the life you want or taking you where you want to go? If not, what do you need to believe to take you there? When the old belief surfaces, substitute the new one. It may feel threatening at first because you’re changing a long standing habit. But the sky won’t fall if you do.

After the old belief filter disappeared from Sandy’s mind, she got a promotion and this time she remembered her deadlines. Because she realized her value, she was able to accept value into her world. What beliefs do you choose to change so you can claim a better life?

Affirmation:

I reassess old, outdated beliefs and recognize which ones have been limiting filters for me. By identifying them and that they’re no longer useful, I take the first step to changing them. The Universe completely supports me in this endeavor. I give myself permission to change my belief to something more positive and that opens the door to success, health, harmony and abundance.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Live Authentically

Live Authentically

If you’re not living authentically, then you probably feel out of tune with yourself. Being true to yourself is important for you to feel whole. To discover what living authentically means to you, ask yourself these 4 questions. They’ll open the door to self-discovery and a greater sense of well being. Watch Live Authentically.

Transcript:

Do you ever feel like you’re out of phase with your true self? Like you’re trying to squeeze into a suit that doesn’t fit? If so, you’re probably doing something that’s not genuine for you. When people act in ways that aren’t natural for them, they feel like they’re betraying themselves. Being authentic isn’t just a self-improvement catch-phrase, it’s an instinctive imperative.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist. For over 30 years, I’ve helped people achieve their goals in life and business. I learned that self-worth and authenticity was important for a greater sense of well being.

When you’re living authentically, you feel in tune with yourself, with greater self-acceptance and self-worth. The challenge is to discover how you can be more authentic in your life. To do so, you’ll have to become aware of what makes you feel aligned with your inner self.

You can ask yourself some questions, like:

  * When do I feel out of tune with myself?

  * What can I do in those situations to improve my well being?

  * When do I feel the most whole and at ease with myself?

  * What actions do I need to take to feel the most authentic?

By pausing to think over these questions, you’ll open a new door. You’ll begin to figure out what you need to do to be in alignment with your deepest self. As Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

As you take small, daily steps to being more authentic, and accepting yourself, you’ll learn how important it is to be true to yourself.

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video and would like to be notified of future videos in which I’ll give you tips on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel. Stay focused.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“For every thing you have missed, you have gained something else; and for every thing you gain, you lose something.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Although you may want something better, you may have trouble giving up what you have right now. When you move from one location to another, even if the move is to a better life, you may grieve for what is left behind. That’s natural. But the only way to move forward is to let go of what you now have. It’s like crossing a small stream. The bank you’re on is safe and familiar. You can’t keep one foot on each bank, or you risk falling into the water. So you have to step across, completely leaving behind the other side.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

When you begin taking back your power, the people in your life will probably react by putting more pressure on you in an attempt to change you back. They’re only mirroring your own ambivalence and uncertainty. When you get clear in your own mind that it’s appropriate to set boundaries, to say “no,” to insist on respect, then the response will be more accepting. So the more determined and committed you are to take back your power, the easier the transition will be.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Accept Your Introvert or Extrovert Temperament

Accept Your Introvert or Extrovert Temperament

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Coffee cup saying Choose Happy

Some years ago, I had a friend urge me to go write and work on my business in coffee shops. She loved to work around people, and said, “You’ll get so much done!” I unsuccessfully tried to explain to her that I couldn’t concentrate with other people around. Their activity and noise was too distracting. She never understood.

It was the classic difference between an introvert, like me, and an extrovert, like her. An extrovert loves being around people. Extroverts are buoyed up by the energy of people and ride that wave. Introverts get overwhelmed and overstimulated by being around too many people. They might like to be around people for a short time, but then they have to go recharge in solitude. To an extrovert, being isolated would be punishment. For an introvert, it’s nirvana.

The Differences Between Extroverts and Introverts

Extroverts and introverts process information through different parts of the brain. For an introvert, the information has to go through more areas of the brain for them to come to a conclusion. They consider more deeply and thoroughly about a subject before they arrive at a decision.

Extroverts process information as they interact. They’re spontaneous, and like to talk a subject through or think out loud to reach an answer. While extroverts will say the first thing that comes to mind, introverts reflect about a question before they answer.

Being an introvert isn’t synonymous with being shy. I’ve known shy extroverts and outgoing introverts. Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert depends on whether you get energized or depleted around groups of people and how you think. Introverts have rich inner lives, while extroverts need to be stimulated by outer experiences.

Each Type Has Value

Western society prefers and rewards extroverts, who are gregarious and risk takers. Eastern culture values introvert’s traits of reflection and seclusion. The West loves outgoing people and thinks that loners are somehow lacking in social skills. That’s not true, because introverts are much better listeners. But, in western society, introverts are often shamed and pressured to try to be like an extrovert. As a result, this decreases an introvert’s self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence.

No one is fully an extrovert or introvert. It’s not either/or. It’s a spectrum. If you identify a bit with both of them, you may be an ambivert. This is someone who loves to be around people, but does need alone time afterwards to recharge.

Honor Yourself

No matter whether you’re an extrovert, introvert or ambivert, accept your temperament and that it’s right for you. It reflects the individual that you are and what you need for your wellbeing. If you’re an extrovert, find a way to be around people in person or even virtually. However, if you’re an introvert, find your interaction limit, and give yourself permission to have alone time afterwards. 

Recognize how you gain energy, whether it’s being around people, in solitude, or a combination. Find a balance of social stimulation that works for you. Accept that how you think and process information may be different from others.

These traits aren’t learned. You’re born this way. Don’t let anyone shame or pressure you to conform to their idea of who they think you should be. Honor and respect your temperament. You’ll be happier, healthier and be able to utilize your strengths to create a life that suits you.

Affirmation:

The Universe accepts me as I am. I recognize my strengths and use them in a positive way. I also understand that others may be different from me. As I listen to my inner self, it guides me to create balance and joy in my life. I now honor and respect myself and what I need for my wellbeing.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Podcast Interview – Hypnotizing Your Mindset to Achieve Your Goals

Podcast Interview – Hypnotizing Your Mindset to Achieve Your Goals

Lois Sonstegard, Ph.D., ACC and I were introduced through a mutual acquaitance, and Lois invited me to be interviewed on her podcast, Building My Legacy. The podcast encourages, stimulates, challenges and motivates you as a leader to answer , “What’s next in my life?” She thought I had a unique perspective that her listeners would appreciate.

Because of my background as a hypnotherapist, we started out talking a bit about hypnosis.  As most people are, Lois was curious about the process. She was slightly surprised to hear that hypnosis is simply an intensely focused state of attention. We discussed how my hypnotherapy practice and what I learned from it has inspired my work as a coach for women small business owners.

We talked about our how, because we live in such a technologically driven world, and it’s easy to get distracted. Distraction from what’s important will undermine you personally and professionally.  Being distracted causes stress, and prevents you from thinking clearly or creatively. When you’re stressed, you react to the immediate problem without thinking the issues through. During our exchange, I described a simple technique you can use to calm your mind down and think more clearly.

Unfortunately, distraction can become a habit. The more you get distracted, the more you train yourself to be distracted. The good news is that if you can train yourself to be distracted, you can train yourself to be focused. I explained the process I use with my clients, to help them gain clarity, get focused and stay on course. Most people know what they don’t want, but have a hard time figuring out what they do want. At Lois’ request, I shared a technique I teach my clients to gain clarity. 

We had a delightful conversation. I love offering tips and explanations that empower people to have more satisfying and fulfilled lives. For more of Lois’ podcasts on becoming a better leader in your personal and professional life, listen to Building My Legacy on Spreaker or any of the major podcast channels.

Listen to Hypnotizing Your Mindset to Achieve Your Goals.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“I cast off the bindings of the past. The thoughts, beliefs and attitudes of the past no longer have a hold on me. I now establish a greater way of being a doing that brings me harmony and joy.”

Your past beliefs served a purpose for you. They were created at a time in your life when they were needed. But you’ve outgrown them, and they no longer serve you. Although it may feel threatening, it’s time to let them go and move forward. The only way to do so is to convince your subconscious by choosing different thoughts, words and actions. It may rebel a little, thinking that you’re wading into dangerous waters. But as you persist, it will realize that it’s safe now to change.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Do you feel stuck in a rut and not know what to do to get out of it? Your feeling of stuckness and discontent is creating more of the same. And that feeling is to push you out of the comfort zone that’s gotten to be too small for you. So take some action, any action. Start walking, yoga or an exercise routine. Do some journaling about how you feel about it. Do whatever you can to get the energy moving again. Eventually, if not sooner, this will direct you back into the flow of harmony.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart