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What Intentions Are You Signaling? Part 1

What Intentions Are You Signaling? Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

One day while I was driving, I had to make a turn into the Post Office. I clicked on my turn signal, and checked in my rear view mirror. I wanted to make sure the car behind me saw my signal and was slowing down. I realized what I’d just done was a great metaphor for life. I was signaling my intention to the car behind me, just like we indicate our intentions in life. The car responded to my signal accordingly and I safely made the turn.

However, if I’d signaled with my left turn indicator, and then actually went to the right, it would have confused the car behind me. This could have caused an accident. And that’s sometimes what happens in your life when you don’t follow through on what you’re signaling to yourself and others.

What intentions are you signaling in your life? As a leader, are you micro-managing and not allowing your team to succeed? Or are you changing your mind about what you want and confusing them? If you’re not giving your team clear messages about your objectives and letting them carry out the project, then you’re giving them conflicting information. When you delegate to them, the underlying idea is that you think they’re capable. But when you hover over them, they’ll conclude that you don’t trust them. You won’t get good results by displaying opposing signals.

Are you giving unclear signals in your relationships? Do you stand up for yourself one day, then let people take advantage of you the next? If so, then you’ll never have people treat you with courtesy and respect. They need clear, consistent boundaries to know what they can get away with and what they can’t. Otherwise they’ll act according to the old saying, “Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile.”

Do you want to have a deeper connection with a special someone, but step back when you start to get closer? Eventually, your loved one is going to get tired of no clear direction and will move on to someone who gives them steady and accurate information.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Live According To Your Values

Live According To Your Values

When you live according to what is important to you, you’re living in tune with your deepest self. Discovering what your values are helps you to make wiser decisions. Learn 6 ways to clarify your values and gain the sense of fulfillment living according to them gives you.



Napoleon Hill – “Think and Grow Rich” #2 The Master Mind Principle

Napoleon Hill – “Think and Grow Rich” #2 The Master Mind Principle

In this rare video, Napoleon Hill, author of “Think and Grow Rich,” explains about the power of the Master Mind principle and alliance. He gives three steps to do to establish what you want in the area of success. “Your mental attitude is the only thing over which you have complete control,” he says. You are the only person who can limit you.


~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Be True To Yourself, Part 2

Be True To Yourself, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Living up to your values isn’t always easy. Sometimes it can be inconvenient and difficult, such as trying to carve out family time from a busy professional life. But if you try to rationalize and ignore your standards, because it’s expedient in the situation, you’ll create internal strife and tension. When you violate your values, you feel abandoned, because you’ve betrayed your deepest self.

Honoring your values builds empowerment and self-worth. By supporting what you feel is important, you validate yourself and your choices. You feel good about yourself, feeling more whole and complete. By taking action on what you feel is right for you, you build a sense of self-respect. You approve of yourself and your actions.

When you live in alignment with your standards, then you feel worthy of happiness, abundance, joy, and all good. You’re more open to the Universal flow of good. There is less inner resistance to it and you feel more deserving of it. Other people recognize that you’re more in tune with yourself, and are drawn to you. And because you can trust yourself, they’ll be able to trust you. Other people know what to expect from you and will respect you for that.

Learning what your values are helps you to make better decisions. You can ask yourself, “Does this allow me to support my values?” and “Does this violate my values?” Sometimes, the choice to follow your heart can be difficult in the short term. You may have to sacrifice something you want so that you’re in alignment with your deepest self. But the long term rewards for being true to yourself are beyond measure.

Affirmation

I recognize and honor the values that I cherish. When I need to make a choice, I consider what’s important to me. Even if it’s a difficult choice, I realize that it’s worth it. My values are unique to me and I deserve to live in alignment with them. As I’m true to myself, I open to more Universal good of abundance, happiness, and joy.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Be True To Yourself, Part 1

Be True To Yourself, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” When you are true to yourself, you follow certain values that you live your life by.

A moral is “You must be honest,” and are generally dictated by culture, society or religion. But when you’re working on your income tax return, you might feel that you’re entitled to keep the money that you’ve earned. In this case, your value would be that any way to elude the regulations is ok, so that you keep what you believe is rightfully yours. Values are core beliefs that you have accepted or created and they direct your actions and decisions.

Values are also attitudes and behaviors that you’ve consciously decided are important to you. They motivate you to act in constructive ways. They might have been inspired by others, but they are ideas that you have chosen to live by. What they aren’t are ideas that have been imposed on you or you think you should have.

For instance, if you enjoy being an omnivore (eating meat and vegetables), and your friends pressure you into being a vegetarian, that’s not a value that you’ve chosen for yourself. And you’ll probably eventually return to what resonates with you. Some values are created by fear, such as, “Don’t rock the boat,” or “Be invisible.” These are constrictive and don’t allow you to expand into your potential.

A positive core value would be one such as honesty, independence, empathy, order, personal power, risk taking, family time and similar concepts. When you uphold your values and live accordingly, you feel fulfilled and authentic. However, when you aren’t true to yourself, or violate your individual values, you feel anxious and out of sorts. You probably feel guilty because you’ve violated what you cherish.

For instance, if you value honesty, you can’t shoplift or steal from another. For Anabel, honesty was a core value. As a teenager, she accidentally walked out of a store with a candy bar. In a store across the mall, she realized what she’d done. She went directly back to the original store, explained what had happened and paid for it. Rather than taking the easy way out and just keeping the candy, she took action on what she valued. If she hadn’t, she would have violated what she held dear.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

The Spiritual Blame Game

The Spiritual Blame Game

Over the years, I’ve been distressed when a person who has had a trauma, whether physical, financial or health, had their “well meaning” spiritual friends ask, “Why did you attract this?” Unfortunately, this question rarely helps, and just gets in the way of that person healing. They’re already reeling from the crisis, and probably asking themselves that same question.

That comment is simply a new way of blaming the difficulty on the wounded. It used to be that a woman who was raped was held responsible for dressing provocatively or “asking for it.” Now we know that the rapist is simply trying to exert control over another person. The woman was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and happened to somehow trigger the rapist’s fantasy.

When a challenge happens, so much more is going on than anyone knows. Many health issues are triggered or made worse by stress. And there are a lot of stressful occurrences that have happened in our world. Believing that we control all the factors that go into our lives is a simplistic attitude.

No one is perfect, so there’s plenty in our consciousness that could contribute to a cluster of events that result in problems. Jesus said, “He who is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” The same sentiment is true for those who have suffered setbacks. Rather than asking, “What was in your consciousness that attracted this,” a better response would be, “What can you learn from this.”

We don’t have control over the economy or other people. We have control over our response to what happens to us. By accepting what has happened, rather than trying to analyzing why it did, we free up resources to move forward. Instead of resisting the situation, ask how we can take the challenge and derive something beneficial from it. This is a much more kind, healing and empowering way to approach the situation.

Be Willing To Reprioritize When Life Surprises You

Be Willing To Reprioritize When Life Surprises You

It happened to me again this week. I had my agenda all laid out, my goals selected, my action items scheduled. Then I had an unexpected problem raise its ugly head. There was a technical issue that had to be addressed immediately. If the issue wasn’t corrected, one part of my business would grind to a crawl. My original priorities had to be put on hold while I diverted my time and energy to this new issue.

Has this ever happened to you? You have your plans decided on, and something new pops up that needs to be taken care of immediately. It may be a project dropped in your lap at the last minute, a flat tire needing to be changed, or a computer crashing.

When life suddenly changes your priorities, you may wonder what’s happening. You already decided what was most important, but life had other plans. You may feel guilty when your priorities get shoved to the side because something unanticipated takes precedence. “Why didn’t I see this coming?” you may ask.

Your priorities are still important. It’s just that the unwelcome surprise is more immediate. It’s a crisis that needs to be dealt with before you can move forward with your original goals.

When you have something like this happen, be gentle with yourself. Take care of the unforeseen concern. And then re-prioritize the rest of your goals. Decide which is #1, #2, and #3 and so on. And instead of trying to work on them all, start on the first step of #1 and continue until #1 is complete.

This prevents a sense of overwhelm and gives you a feeling of accomplishment. While you cope with the immediate issue, you’re still addressing a priority, being true to your vision. Getting it done may simply take a little longer than you expected.

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 2

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

If you shut yourself down by hiding your light, you block the flow of Universal good to you, as well as reduce the availability of your inner resources and creativity. You’re more concerned with your anxiety than you are with what’s going on with the other person. When you close yourself off, you’ve prejudged how others are going to perceive you. Don’t make their decision for them. Trust in yourself, and you might be surprised at how you’re accepted.

The best thing you can do for yourself, and for everyone else, is to be at ease with yourself and don’t try to hide your light. Be present with the people you’re with, accepting them for who they are. They may not be able to return the acceptance, but that’s their problem. When you let your light out into the world, you build your self-esteem. It shows that you value, or esteem, yourself, your opinions, talents and abilities.

When you are authentic, you encourage people who are timid to be more authentic, too. Marianne Williamson in “A Return to Love” says, “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” When you’re courageous and choose to be yourself, you’re giving others the message that it’s okay to be free, too.

When Grace’s self-esteem grew and she began to stand up to Hallie, the friendship ended. Grace realized that Hallie hadn’t been a friend for a long time. Although sad, Grace was relieved that she no longer had to keep herself hidden away. Allowing yourself to be authentic means that those who can’t accept you will move on to find others they can bully.

It’s safe for you to be authentic now. You’re in a different place in your life, and have accumulated knowledge, wisdom and resources that you didn’t have when you were younger. When you let your light out, you give others the opportunity to appreciate you and you’re more open to be able to appreciate them. You’re also a model for others to be authentic. As you honor yourself in this way, you’re better able to access your creativity. It allows you to be more successful in every area of your life.

Affirmation

I give myself permission to be authentic. In so doing, I open my mind and heart to more Universal good to come to me. I value my opinions, talents and abilities. It’s now safe for me to be myself and I know that I can handle any challenge that comes my way. I accept myself and others and know that I’m good enough.

Read Part 1 of Let The Real You Shine Through.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 1

Let The Real You Shine Through, Part 1

by Linda-Ann Stewart

As they were growing up, Grace’s friend Hallie put her down at every opportunity, undermined her successes, and accused Grace of “Feeling she was better than everyone else.” To try to reduce Hallie’s resentment, Grace stopped sharing the goals she achieved and her accomplishments.

In essence, she hid her authenticity to make Hallie feel less threatened. It didn’t work. Hallie could still see Grace’s light, and did her best to extinguish it. Nothing Grace did could have made her friend feel better about herself or eliminate her attacks.

When you’re authentic and let your inner light shine, it’s going to make some people uncomfortable. They’re insecure within themselves and they resent that you aren’t insecure, too. Creative and sensitive people pick up on that and try to deflect or reduce it by minimizing their achievements or becoming invisible.

Understand that nothing that you do, or don’t do, is going to remedy their anxiety. It’s an issue within them that they’ve focused onto you. You’re not responsible for their pain, for healing it, for making them feel comfortable with themselves or with you. There’s no reason for you to cater to their insecurities to try to make them treat you better.

When you close off your light, you do so out of fear. You’re judging yourself by old standards that don’t mean anything anymore. As a result, you condemn yourself and hide to avoid retribution. You’re simply reacting to old messages that have been installed in your mind. Your fear comes from filtering your current situation through outgrown situations from the past.

By not breaking free from your fear, you’re telling yourself that you don’t feel confident in handling the challenges of your life. However, those ideas came from a time and place that’s long gone. You no longer have to abandon yourself to stay safe. Now you can accept your power and authority.

Read Part 2 of Let The Real You Shine Through.

Copyright 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

How To Make And Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, Part 2

How To Make And Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, Part 2

by Linda-Ann Stewart

First, as you might do every year, write down all the things that you want to change in your life. But this time, prioritize them. Decide which are the most important, then select one of these to concentrate on. By focusing on one area at a time, you will be able to improve your chances of success.

Once you’ve chosen which area you want to concentrate on, write down all the steps you need to take to fulfill that goal. For instance, suppose Sam decides he wants to get healthy. To do so, he chooses to quit smoking, eliminate caffeine, sugar, and alcohol, to stop partying, get enough sleep every night, lose weight, start exercising, and eat right. He can’t do all of these at the same time, or his subconscious will rebel. Therefore, he decides which facet he wants to tackle first.

Break your goal down into reasonable steps. Don’t try to change the world in one week. As you accomplish one component, move onto the next one. It may actually take a couple of years to achieve your whole list, but in a couple of years you’ll be so much healthier than you are now.

Once you have your first element chosen, you can now decide on what physical actions to take every day. Taking physical action helps to convince the subconscious that you mean business, and shows commitment to the process.

Visualize yourself acting out your objective. As you imagine yourself living your goal, this gives your subconscious mind the direction it needs. It must follow your envisioning. Mentally rehearse each day, identifying with your new ideal, feeling how good it is to have accomplished your aim.

Write a short positive statement in the present tense that embodies your resolution. Use this affirmation in your visualization to reinforce it. Say the declaration aloud one hundred times a day. Print it on index cards and place them where you see them often. This keeps you focused on your goal and begins to impregnate your subconscious with what it is that you want. Trust that your subconscious is making deep level changes, and knows the best way to help you to transform.

By following these directions, you will be able to successfully make and keep your New Year’s resolutions. You have all the power within you to create a wonderful new life for yourself. Don’t be afraid to use it.

Copyright 2001, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved