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Book Review-How to Be Your Own Best Friend

Book Review-How to Be Your Own Best Friend

How to Be Your Own Best Friend
by Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz

This book was originally published over forty-five years ago. Although it has been around a long time, the information and advice in it is as fresh and helpful as it was back then. Written in a question-and-answer format, the two psychoanalysts (who are married to each other) explain what is necessary for us to love and accept ourselves.

I read this book in my early twenties, and it improved the way I thought about myself and my world. We tend to be a friend to everyone but ourselves. Instead, we treat ourselves as we might an enemy. The authors explain the ideas we need to entertain to be happier and healthier human beings. For when we treat ourselves with the same appreciation, empathy and compassion that we give to our friends, our lives transform.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight“Little souls wish you to be unhappy. It aggravates them to have you joyous, efficient and free.” – David Seabury

It took me a long time to really comprehend this. Unfortunately, miserable people want everyone else to be miserable too. They’ll do everything they can to deflate you, undermine you, and sabotage you. You need to do everything you can to minimize your contact with them, even if they are loved ones. You can’t change them and you have to protect your well-being. Just remember, when you start feeling dragged down, this is their issue, not yours.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Trending Articles of the Week

Trending Articles of the Week

Meditate

The Yogi masters were right — meditation and breathing exercises can sharpen your mind
It has long been claimed by Yogis and Buddhists that meditation and ancient breath-focused practices strengthen our ability to focus on tasks. A new study explains for the first time the neurophysiological link between breathing and attention. The way we breathe directly affects the chemistry of our brains in a way that can enhance our attention and improve our brain health.

A Harvard psychologist describes a simple exercise to reduce your anxiety in stressful situations
When you’re dealing with a stressful situation, anxiety can reduce your effectiveness. There are several techniques that can help, including deep breathing and power poses. But the exercise this psychologist recommends will calm you down and also allow you to feel more authentic.

How to Break a Habit – 5 Steps
Habits are difficult to break. But you can do it. You need commitment, perseverance and a plan. As a hypnotherapist, I used steps similar to these to help my clients break habits and achieve their goals. As you follow these steps, bit by bit, you’ll break the habit that has outlived its usefulness. Just keep at it.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

4 Reasons Why You Don’t Pursue Your Dream (and What to Do About Them)

4 Reasons Why You Don’t Pursue Your Dream (and What to Do About Them)

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Rainbowy Clouds

Rhoda had always wanted to go to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower, the art in the Louvre and the palaces. It was one of the major things on her bucket list. However, she never took any steps to make it come true and it was a longing that she never satisfied. She was content for it to remain a dream and it unfortunately remained an unrealized goal.

Do you have an important dream that you want to achieve? It could be to quit smoking, lose weight, learn to play the guitar, run a 10K, or build a business. Daydreaming about it and not taking any action won’t bring it into reality. Fantasizing may be fulfilling in the moment, but it will leave you feeling empty when it isn’t achieved. Unless you take action, you won’t trigger the Law of Attraction to work on your behalf.

There are many reasons why you may procrastinate and not pursue your dreams. Here are some of the main ones, and what you can do about them.

1. Your dream takes you out of your comfort zone. Your goal means that so much in your life would change that you’re afraid to get started. If you make these massive shifts too quickly, it would upset your world and you’d probably sabotage your own efforts. For instance, almost 70% of lottery winners go broke within a few years of winning. The windfall takes them too far out of what they’re used to.

To overcome this obstacle, establish a long range plan. Create steps that are comfortable for you to take. For instance, if you want to start eating better, don’t overhaul your diet in a week. Start by including more salads. When that gets familiar, eliminate sugar. Work on one piece at a time until you feel comfortable with it, and then add the next step. By taking action, you instruct the Law of Attraction to draw information and opportunities to you.

2. You’re stuck in planning mode. Planning feels like you’re making progress, but it simply delays taking action. I knew an artist who bought brushes, canvas, and paints, but never used them. Gathering the tools triggered the pleasure circuits in her brain. By not painting, she avoided the anxiety of facing a blank canvas. So she got her reward by simply thinking about what she’d do one day.

Preparation is an important part of any goal. But beware of staying in this place too long or you’ll never realize your dream. Pull together a list of things you need, such as tools, knowledge, skills and tasks to complete. Then begin to follow through on them. As you mark the elements off your to-do list, you’ll get a sense of satisfaction. And the Universe will support you by creating synchronicities that help you.

3. Your dream is not immediate enough.
The fulfillment of your dream is too far in the future or too overwhelming. For instance, if you want to lose 50 pounds, you could feel like it’s too difficult. You know it’s going to take a significant shift in your behaviors and you won’t see the final result quickly. So you procrastinate on taking action.

You have to fight through inertia to get started. To combat this, instead of focusing on the 50 pounds, take it in 5 pound increments. You can handle losing 5 pounds. When you set that as your goal, you’ll get that sense of fulfillment, and a job well done, when you see the outcome. With any long range goal, create mini-goals that you can accomplish each week. The brain likes to complete things, and bestows a sense of gratification when you do. And the Universe creates new channels for the Law of Attraction to bring benefits into your life.

4. You don’t have enough motivation.
The benefits of your dream aren’t strong or clear enough for you to pursue. For instance, you may want to be healthier and fitter, but your desire isn’t powerful enough for you to change your habits or your routine. So you just keep putting it off.

You can build your enthusiasm for your dream by surrounding yourself with things concerning it. If you want to create, spend time in an art store, a museum, gallery or take a class. To start an exercise program, read articles and books about the benefits you’ll achieve. Immerse yourself in the reasons why you want your goal. The energy will grow until you get started.

When you take action, it tells the Universe that you’re serious and ready to move forward. And the Law of Attraction then begins to draw to you what you need for success.

The solution to each one of these reasons is to start working towards your dream. It doesn’t matter how small the step, as long as you’re moving toward your dream. The brain likes to accomplish things. And achieving small goals is every bit as satisfying to the brain as big goals. Don’t procrastinate any longer. The sooner you begin to work toward your dream, the sooner you’ll reap the joy of the results.

AFFIRMATION

I know I can have what I desire through the Power of my Higher Mind. The Universe wants the best for me, and will support my endeavors to create an improvement in my life. As I take the actions necessary to fulfill my dream, I create the channels through which more good flows to me. The Universe rewards my actions with positive and beneficial results.

Watch the accompanying video How to Build Your Momentum to Achieve Your Goal.

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Money Beliefs That Sabotage You

Money Beliefs That Sabotage You

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Money

Terri was a very successful counselor. She had a full practice and got plenty of referrals. But she had deep issues with money, and struggled with the idea of being financially successful. A friend used this as leverage against her. When he browbeat her for taking money for her services, she was swayed by his arguments would often not charge her clients.

He said that if you want to be of service or spiritual, you shouldn’t charge for your gifts. She took his perspective to heart, and eventually lost her business. And because of this, many people lost a counselor who could have guided them into a greater sense of well-being.

What Money Actually Is

This is just one of the myths about money that many people have. Unfortunately, money is one of the most misunderstood tools that we have and need. When money is a problem, it’s generally not about the cash. It’s about something much more basic. Much of our core beliefs, judgments and lack of self-esteem are projected onto money.

Money is merely an exchange of energy, a symbol. It substitutes for a barter system. When one person offers a product or service, a buyer offers money in return. The buyer presents the money they’ve received as a result of their product or service. Of itself, money is only metal or paper.

Some Money Beliefs That Limit You

Here are some of the money beliefs that people have that are keeping them from having their best life.

“Love of money is the root of all evil.” This one comes from the Christian Bible and is pounded into its followers. When money is made more important than anything else, then it can instigate greed, unethical behavior, and stealing. It’s the worship of money that causes problems. But without money, you can’t pay your bills or have an abundant life. Kept in its proper perspective, as a tool, money can do a lot of good.

“Money doesn’t grow on trees” or “Do you think I’m made of money?” Did you hear this one as a child? It was created by harried parents to discourage kids who wanted something more expensive than the budget could handle. Instead of handling it maturely, by explaining why they couldn’t afford the desired item, parents brushed off the child with these expressions.

“The rich are selfish/dishonest/corrupt/etcetera.” There are some wealthy people who give the rest of their class a bad name. They have worshiped money, and didn’t care what they had to do to get it. There are also a lot of poor people who have done the same. But there are also a lot of rich and poor people who are honest, fair and caring.

If you have the attitude that the rich are bad people, then your subconscious won’t allow you to become rich. Your subconscious wants you to be congruent with your beliefs. Therefore, if the rich are bad, and you aren’t and don’t want to be bad, then you can’t become wealthy. Your subconscious will protect you and keep you “good” and lacking cash. This attitude needs to be adjusted before you can allow yourself to receive more prosperity.

More Money Beliefs That Undermine You

“If I receive money, I’m taking it from someone else.” If there isn’t a circulation of money energy, then the pool gets stagnant and starts to shrink. When money comes to you, you’re receiving it through (not from) others. And you then pass it on to other people. It goes to the Mortgage Company, utility company, and grocery store, which then pay their employees. The employees then use it for their bills and to circulate it to you. The more money you receive, the more you’re able to pass on.

“If you serve and/or are spiritual, you have to offer your gift for free.” This was the belief that sabotaged Terri. After she lost her business, she still counseled, but only once in a while. Suppose you have a gift you want to share. If you’re working 40 plus hours a week for someone else, how much time and energy do you have to serve others?

Just because you want to serve doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your time and well-being. If people want the benefit of your gift for nothing, then it means that there’s a market for it and there are going to be folks willing to pay for it. And they also will want to show their gratitude for what they receive, and can do this through the exchange of energy called money.

Change Your Beliefs

Your beliefs about money are based on what you were told and ideas you’ve reinforced by thinking of them often. But they limit you and what you allow yourself to receive. Since beliefs are created by what you think, by changing what you think, you can change your beliefs. When you start recognizing what you’re thinking about money, and start letting go some of the distorted beliefs, you open yourself to more of this energy flowing into your life.

AFFIRMATION

Money is only energy that flows. This energy is circulating smoothly and harmoniously through my life. I discard any outdated limiting ideas about money, wealth and riches. The Universe wishes me to have enough financial support to live an abundant life. The more energy I have, the more I can circulate through others.

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2 Simple Ways to Calm Stress

2 Simple Ways to Calm Stress

When you feel rushed, pressured or overwhelmed, it triggers the stress response in your body and mind. You act reflexively and can’t think clearly. Learn a couple of very simple tips on how to reverse the stress response and be able to respond more effectively.



Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision strategist coach with a coaching tip for you. Do you ever get rushed or pressured? I’m sure you do, what with everything you have to handle in a day. I want to share a couple of simple techniques that can ease that pressure and improve your ability to handle your challenges.

When you feel anxious or overwhelmed, it triggers the stress response, otherwise called the fight or flight response. You’ve heard of this, right? And when you’re stressed, you can’t think creatively or resourcefully or plan effectively.

Your choices are limited to simply reacting to whatever is happening in that moment. And when you react impulsively, it may not be the best way to handle the situation. Have you ever snapped at someone and then regretted it? That’s what I’m talking about. It’s a reflex.

The remedy is to reverse the stress response. To activate the opposite response. And it’s really simple. Before you react to a situation, or when you need to slow down, stop. Take a few long, slow, deep breaths. This calms the stress response down and allows you to think more clearly. It gives you more resources to handle whatever the situation might be.

And your second tip, wait about 10 seconds to gather your thoughts and before you make a decision or respond to the situation. Remember your mom telling you to count to 10? Well, she was right. This engages the executive center of your brain, the part of you that thinks things through and manages your emotions. You can then make more informed decisions that will bring you better results.

I know these seem too easy to be effective. But they’re natural remedies for when you’re stressed. The fun is trying to remember to do them when you’re stuck in “go, go, go” mode. When you do use them, you’re going to notice a difference.

If you’d like more tips on how to make your day flow more smoothly, download my free guide, Take Control of Your Day.

Thank you for watching. I’d love to hear how these two simple tips work for you. Take care.

Read the accompanying article, The Hurrier You Go, The Behinder You Get.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight“All of Life is for me, supporting me, encouraging me, and benefiting me. I am now in a cooperative position with Life and allow It’s expansion to flow through me with ease and harmony.”

Many people feel that life is against them and they have to fight for every bit of good that they have. That’s only because that’s what they believe. When you change your mind to allow Life to uplift you, and you allow it to flow in and through your life, things become much easier.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Trending Articles of the Week

Trending Articles of the Week

River

How To Tell If Your Perfectionism Is Normal Or Unhealthy
Perfectionism puts an incredible pressure on you. But there are some differences between useful and unhealthy perfectionism. If unhealthy perfectionism is taking over your life and causing you distress, there are some steps you can take to let go of to start feeling better.

Self Esteem Vs. Self Confidence
Self-esteem and self-confidence are two different things. Self-confidence is relatively easy to build, while self-esteem is more complex. This article explains both and gives some simple tips on how to them.

How to Successfully Handle Aggressive and Controlling People
Most of have to deal with intimidating people at some point of our lives. They may be coworkers, bosses, or family members. With some consideration, you may be able to approach them differently so that you have a handle on the interaction. One thing I especially like in this article is its list of your fundamental rights.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight“God doesn’t recognize the idea of recession or constriction. The only thing the Universe knows is abundance of all good things. Circulation and an increasing expansion of prosperity is mine now.”

As a friend of mine once said, “The recession has nothing to do with my prosperity.” When you have a consciousness of abundance, it doesn’t matter what is going on in the world around you. Your consciousness will attract what is like it, and when you keep your mind focused on prosperity circulating in your life, that’s what you’ll experience.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Trending Articles of the Week

Trending Articles of the Week

Peace
Are GPS zombies eating your brain?
Navigating using GPS can damage the portion of your brain that helps you find your own way to a destination. Because of that, it increases the risk of cognitive impairment, and possibly Alzheimer’s. Part of the reason is that you follow the directions of the GPS without paying attention to where you’re actually going. Learn a couple of tips on how to use your GPS while stimulating your brain at the same time.

The Life-Altering Power Of Setting Boundaries (And How To Do It)
Boundaries are essential to your self-esteem, self-respect and to making sure your have healthy relationships. There are different aspects of boundaries: mental, physical, emotional and so forth. Boundaries are learned, and it can be a challenge to make and keep them. Here are some tips on how to support yourself with them.

Mindfulness: Are You Paying Attention?
According to a recent study, 96% of people said they live on autopilot, mainly due to technology. They aren’t paying attention to what’s going on in their lives. Learning mindfulness allows you to focus on what’s important to you. Mindfulness is simply paying attention to what you’re paying attention to. This article gives you four ways to begin practicing mindfulness in your life.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart